DOD299: Tommy's Got Back (Problems)

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:02 Clip: I'm the cool dad. That's that's my thing. I know now what I can offer you that no one else can I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired is the only part of being a father that I enjoy

0:00:28 Tom: To Dear Old Dads, the podcast I never disappeared from, I'm Tom Curry, what, what's going on, hey, welcome back from the Maldives, it's been, it was so nice of you guys to give me that vacation, I really appreciate that, oh

0:00:32 Thomas: Who the fuck is that yeah on just we tom we made up a whole fucking thing so don't don't blow our cover

0:00:43 Tom: Wait, you gotta tell me that first, I was just fucking sea turtles in the Indian Ocean, is that not what you told everybody, that's pretty much, now you tell me me that part too this feels like a lot of information at once I'm not gonna lie

0:00:45 Thomas: You're not supposed to fuck them well fortunately he hurt his back while fucking sea turtles so it worked out like the lie kind of came full circle how

0:00:56 Eli: It. It all made sense.

0:00:59 Tom: Eli bozica thomas smith hello I

0:01:02 Eli: Tom. So

0:01:03 Thomas: Are you doing it's

0:01:05 Tom: Back which is good and I'll tell you what I'm a fucking hell of a lot better than I was three weeks ago that's for goddamn sure so still not, still not fighting shape. I will tell you, I'm still not in, I've still not in fighting shape, um,

0:01:17 Thomas: Gonna be a while until you're back in the car wash so

0:01:19 Tom: I, I think Car Wash and I, think you, if you put me in there, like, you could, you Could definitely take me out pretty, easy right now, I'm like fucking weak as a three day old kitten at this point, it's ridiculous, yeah.

0:01:27 Eli: We should make that a patron goal to beat up

0:01:29 Tom: Come beat up Tom.

0:01:29 Eli: Tom in a car wash. Beat up time in a cow wash.

0:01:34 Tom: Want to give everybody like just a, like an update, and then I've some like stories, I guess, and some funny, hopefully complaining to do and then like some kind of heartwarming stuff I want to kind of talk about so that I'll do the quick update so um to back to the show that I sent you guys because I had no recollection of sending most of that information at all

0:01:51 Eli: What we learn is that pain medication Tom loves to call people bitches.

0:01:57 Thomas: Many slurs I had to cut out of that thing

0:02:00 Eli: The only difference between Tom and pain mitigation tom

0:02:04 Thomas: Actually um tom got canceled just so you know they were kind enough that yeah yeah they're like if he's back in the hospital his ass is off the show

0:02:10 Tom: Hospital tom definitely canceled yeah

0:02:07 Eli: You're fine but hospital tom not welcome back yeah also hospital tom has some hot takes on the lindsey clancy trial and I don't know how I didn't even know you were following it in the hospital I guess they had the tv on

0:02:22 Thomas: Which

0:02:15 Tom: Like oh god so I'm gonna talk about meds real quick just because it's a bugaboo like people are so funny when they're like oh you're hurt enjoy the meds fucking those meds are the worst I don't understand them and they don't don't do anything at all for nerve pain. Like I, I don't understand the, like, so

0:02:39 Eli: Why

0:02:41 Thomas: Weird because isn't that just what pain is like is the other kind of pain.

0:02:46 Tom: No susceptive pain. So I actually looked all this up because I had time. Yeah.

0:02:48 Thomas: Susceptive pain. Nothing but ten.

0:02:51 Eli: Dear siri why why do I

0:02:53 Tom: Why does this hurt? And it never stops. Yeah. So like most pain that you have, like in your body is going to be a different, and I may be mispronouncing this, no susceptative pain. So it's like if you smash your hand in a car door, you cut yourself, you otherwise get injured. It's an entirely different set of pathways than if you are actively in neuropathic pain, than pain that is directed immediately at the nerve. Yeah. So the nerves are involved in all pain and all sensation. Right. But like if you have neuropathic pain, it's an entirely different set of pathways. And it basically is like the nerve is just continuously misfiring and it's being like, hey, there's a fucking great big emergency and your body's like sure is. And it goes right up to the amygdala and it does all kinds of crazy shit. And like and other drugs like that don't have any change in your pain score at all. So like if it was a nine and then you take a bunch of morphine what it does because I can tell you from experience now like what it Does is it it's a nine yeah well what it is it's a nine but you're less upset about it

0:03:44 Thomas: Well, that answers that. Jesus. It's a nine with slurs. Yeah.

0:03:58 Tom: Yeah right so what the opiates do do like you're still report the same pain you're still in a lot of pain yeah yeah but you can sleep or like you you can like pass out you it basically like takes some of the uh emotionality of pain and dials it down I slept actually like a lot

0:03:57 Eli: Nice nine bitches

0:04:11 Thomas: A minute. You got to sleep? It was probably the best time of your life. Maybe your body did this on purpose to get a nap.

0:04:16 Eli: Did it's true he slept a lot yeah

0:04:18 Tom: I did I I slept slept a fucking lot so yeah it's just so fun like I oh my

0:04:22 Eli: I've been so jealous of you during this procedure paid time off word just

0:04:28 Tom: You should be you should me I say too like the counting and your blessing side. My day job, I told my boss like, hey, I'm fucked up and here's what happened. And his only response was, let me know when you get better and what we can do to support you. And that was it. He doesn't care how long I was gone. He does not care that I am starting back at work today. He is not care if it is a full day, a half day. He do not care what

0:04:55 Eli: Fire hayley's mom again that's all we want you to do just get back get back here fire his mom one more time for us it's

0:05:01 Tom: This crazy lucky to have that job with that boss. Cause it just, that's just unheard of. It's put in sick time or vacation time. And now granted, I won't use any of that this year because I feel like I've already burned through it in good faith, but like no one is counting the days. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just like, yeah, get better. And I'm like, okay, cool. And then whatever whatever that looks like for me, it gets to just look like that. And think about that and I'm like, that's incredibly unusual. And That's such an massive, massive gift that that I get to have through that. I've just, I was blown away. It was his response when Haley got, had surgery this year, you 2026 has been a big year. It's been a really shit year because she just had surgery in March. And I took all that time off to care for her after her surgery in March. And know, here I am six months later, taking off almost another month off of work. And I don't get two months off of sick time or paid time off. I I have a three weeks of vacation. That's all I actually technically get. And he was just like, yeah, just do what you got to do. So it was

0:06:01 Tom: Amazing.

0:06:01 Eli: Great I mean to be fair in your business if If you don't account for old white guy problems, you're losing half of the C -suite a year. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm surprised they don't have, you know, Uroflow in the bathroom the way most environments have, like, you know, tampons and stuff for people.

0:06:18 Tom: Well, maybe they do. I've never been in the c -suite so we'll find out we'll find out

0:06:20 Eli: You go. They're going to promote you. That's how they handle this. They're like, hey, you got old guy hurt.

0:06:24 Tom: Please don't promote me no to the club here's the keys to the private jet

0:06:27 Thomas: Of us yeah oh

0:06:29 Eli: Can only golf from now on.

0:06:31 Thomas: You don't have to golf oh

0:06:33 Tom: Never golfing again I'm using this as a permanent excuse even if I heal up and I'm better than I've ever been before do you know when I'm not good I

0:06:41 Eli: You're not good enough to golf.

0:06:42 Tom: It's like hey you know what sudden twisting motions are probably just not going to be my thing from now on I'm just not doing that so I am never ever gonna pick up another golf club ever again it is I'm not I don't know if it's worth it but it's close like it might be close to

0:06:56 Thomas: Consolation prize I

0:06:58 Eli: Pretty good that's pretty good all right so pain drugs they didn't work on you now our listeners have been filled in um there anything they've missed that you want to fill them in since the since tom tapes since

0:07:03 Tom: Drugs don't work yeah yep uh yeah since since the tom tapes so my two -week appointment with him today and they basically said this is is actually kind of funny so I'm still hurting pretty good so standing and walking is very difficult I'm on a clock as soon as I stand up so I got about a minute to three minutes depending you know it's pretty variable and then after that I'm definitely gonna have to sit down and because the pain starts right away and then it's just like all

0:07:28 Thomas: Just I just thought of like remember some of those movies where it's like that one where it'S like his adrenaline gland is going crazy so he's got to yeah yeah that's tom's version of that well I can stand up for one minute

0:07:36 Eli: Hell yeah baby stand yes mm -hmm

0:07:44 Tom: It's it's much better than it was when I went in like when I win and I just all I could could do is like lay in a curled up C formation and like mash a button for pain meds. So, I mean, I'm a lot better than that. It is getting better. They gave me a heads up that this was going to be a harder recovery than I thought. It's been harder than I though. That's be honest. Like I didn't believe that I was just telling Haley. I was like, yeah, but when they told me that, I thought that's what you say to all the girls, but I'll be fine. I'm always fine.

0:08:10 Thomas: Hold on that's hospital tom getting canceled

0:08:14 Tom: Like, yeah. It, It'S they're like, Like it's going to hurt or, you know, but I'm like, I yeah, but I'll be, it's me. I'll do it. I'll, I'll just, I'm just, it'll be fine. Like whatever the curve is, I 'LL BE AHEAD OF IT. I'M ALWAYS AHEAD OF THE CURVE. AND

0:08:20 Eli: You haven't seen my resume and you just push forward the story of your life and they're like this is very sad you're back's still gonna hurt um your mom should be in jail and your back is in pain honestly

0:08:28 Tom: WHAT HAPPENED. YEAH. IT 'LL FIND OUT IN A FEW WEEKS, IN FOUR WEEKES, IF I 'VE RECOVERED ENOUGH TO WHERE WE CAN SAY, OKAY, THIS WAS THE RIGHT SURGERY AND IT'S ENOUGH. And if it's not then I may have to go back in and have you know more work done and then I've got that tumor situation which I've gotta look at but we found the goat I think I mentioned before we found the chordoma there's a chordoma in my spine now there's alive he's chewing on a roll of dimes that was the problem yeah they'll eat anything so um we got an appointment with like the guy who is the head of the chordoma center um is like just cord tumors I

0:08:50 Thomas: A chordoma in your spine jesus christ got a roll of dimes and yeah yeah

0:08:57 Eli: Does have autism yeah that's the good ones don't even trip dog sometimes they introduce you to a surgeon who doesn't have autism get that out absolutely not I

0:09:13 Tom: We got to talk. So let's let me tell you some hopefully some funniest stories. So.

0:09:16 Eli: Owe us some can I say because uh

0:09:17 Thomas: Been waiting hold on no we got a commercial break and then tom has to forget to tell them so that eli never gets to hear them

0:09:23 Eli: You know the only thing worse than the assumption that someone without autism can do surgery why it's the auto ads the auto ads the constant pain that tom is in of your podcasting experience but you can make those go away with morphine morphine does work on auto ads and it also works over at patreon .com forward slash dear old dads where for as little as a dollar an episode you get a commercial free version of every single episode uh plus a little parenting story at the end which is a lot of fun bonus episodes all sorts of good stuff check it out over at patreon .com forward slash dear old dads like pain into tum should he darest to stand up rip into it okay

0:10:12 Tom: Right, so these would be just like random, hopefully, bitches from the experience. But I think some of them are pretty funny. So the day that I get hurt.

0:10:18 Eli: So you're still on the drugs a little bit is what you're telling us there's still a little Bit of the drugs going yeah

0:10:19 Tom: So the day before I end up go to the hospital I just wake up and I'm like hey something's wrong and then the next day I'm in an ambulance so it was like it was a very swift escalation of problem for me and the day that I go to The Ambulance I mentioned before is like I up in the morning and try to use the restroom gotten an ambulance which means that like I was at the emergency room by eight o 'clock in the and it's an emergency room so you're there fucking forever until something happens right and they take your blood pressure in the emergency room every 15 seconds give or take and when you're in kind of a lot of pain your blood pressure is high like you're just it's just that's just a thing so I go there and I'm there and they get me finally admitted after they see like the tumor and they got all fucking excited or jerking each other off about this thing like they get me admitted into a room and out of the emergency room but it's like 11 o 'clock at night so I haven't eaten anything all day I like Like, at some point, like, even if you're just, I'm still me. I got to fucking eat something. I have not eaten anything the entire day.

0:10:53 Eli: Pain stop and also make a burger start art flavor

0:11:23 Tom: Egg sandwich, please. Thank you. So and I know that, like the best case scenario, like I'm not going to probably be sleeping too much. I'm kind of in and out of things. I'm like, is any way to get a foods here? You know, is that like a thing? So find out that they had put me on the cardiac restricted diet because my blood pressure was high. But my blood pressure was high because my pain was through the roof. I don't have any cardiac restrictions. I don'T have high blood pressure. I donT have anything like that. But they're just like, we got to put them on the cardiac stuff. Morning rolls around and I can finally order food from this just fucking atrocious, atroicious hospital menu. And it is like entering into a fucking hostage negotiation. Because like, if you're on the Cardiac menu, that means you can only have a certain amount of sodium. Okay, fine. Fine. But none of the amount of sodium.

0:12:11 Tom: Yes. Right. So they've got this menu and none of the sodium numbers are written anywhere on the menu.

0:12:10 Eli: I .e flavor oh you get a guess it's

0:12:20 Tom: Got to guess. So though, I talked to the nurse and I'm like, Hey, I'm you guys real cardiac for diet. I'm not a cardiac patient. She's like, Oh, let me look. And she's like yeah, they put you on a restricted diet because your blood pressure is high. And I'm yeah, but like, since the pain's been better are controlled the blood pressure is down yeah right it's

0:12:33 Eli: Mostly the screaming like throat's not sore either it's just the it's said the yelling is what it's take

0:12:37 Tom: Either yeah like I'm getting you know 12 milligrams of morphine every four hours like it's down it's fine you know

0:12:44 Eli: It down I'm actually pretty cool could

0:12:46 Tom: And so she's like I'll talk to the doctor the doctor is like to the hospitalist it's right out there and he comes in it's a cool yeah we can get rid of that I'm like oh cool so as I wait a little bit and I called a number to the kitchen I was like hey I want to order some food they're like you're on the cardiac diet and I was like oh no I just talked to the doctor like oh they haven't updated the system until they update the system you're On The Cardiac Diet so it's like well I don't I t want that that's not what I want actually

0:13:07 Eli: You refresh the page you could if you press command or the little the little little doodly -doo symbol and then R yeah it's a sometimes a shift but it spreads out of your windows are PC Tom

0:13:11 Thomas: Command shift r I

0:13:21 Tom: I was like okay I'll give him an hour but I'm really fucking hungry like now it's been like over 24 hours since I've had anything like I'm like I've been like I don't know I don' t know I'm really fucking angry I'm not eating fucking oatmeal and sadness my guy like and out of us I have to I'm okay I 'LL GIVE IT ANOTHER HOUR BUT I'M FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I 'M ALSO ON A BUNCH OF DRUGS SO LIKE TIME DOES WEIRD SHIT TOO SO LIKE IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL SO I LET SOME TIME GO BY AND I CALLED A NUMBER LIKE YEAH YOU'RE STILL ON THE FUCKING CARDIAC DIET AND I WAS LIKE gonna fucking update this thing so I was like all right fine I'll order some food fine

0:13:27 Eli: Will starve rather than eat a fucking low -sodium chicken breast I'll tell you

0:13:30 Thomas: Guess I'll have a heart attack I don't know fuck fuck,

0:13:52 Tom: Then I'll show you assholes so then we enter in this hostage negotiation where you say things and they on their side they're adding up whether or not they can comply with your demands and then I'm like okay so I'll have this oh no you'll be over well how much will I be over by x amount and I'm like well that actually doesn't mean anything to me now I think about it because I had none of your items are listed another person laughs on the other end of the phone like haha and i'M like okay is there like a limit to the number of this like yeah you can only have two from this category and I'm like okay so I'm trying to like figure out how

0:14:00 Thomas: He took an actual hostage, Jesus Christ, who has the time to keep track of all this, yeah, on

0:14:25 Eli: It's a fun riddle this is a fun Riddle I like this

0:14:28 Tom: I've just like I'm trying to get enough volume of food into my fucking stupid man system here that I need to eat to it's keep the fucking sodium under whatever number it is the mystery number that they and only the only person that knows is the fucking food service guy down at the other end. And I'm trying to do this and I'm fucking completely out of my mind. I ability to do this negotiation. I am not up to this task. This is well beyond my cognitive resources. I finally get this massive order.

0:14:57 Tom: Yeah, right. Exactly. I finally got this order of food, none of which I want, but it's an acceptable volume. I'm just trying to order for volume at this point. Fucking kid you not, it's 45 minutes to an hour for them to bring the food up. They bring the food up they fucking walk in the food service guy walks in with that fucking food sets it down follows right behind the food service person is the nurse good news the cardiac thing's been taken off your diet and I was like I fucking hate you I hate everyone here so

0:14:56 Thomas: A good day, yeah

0:15:28 Eli: Bring

0:15:28 Tom: Much I

0:15:29 Eli: That volume tray over here and then we're gonna have words

0:15:31 Tom: Still hate it I still ate it the another insane food exchange at one point because I was there for 14 days so 12 days then went home and came back for two more days yeah

0:15:41 Thomas: A long ass time, holy shit,

0:15:43 Eli: Two calendar weeks is a long time to be in a place that is literally just meant for old people to die in it's to fix the arms of children who fell off a playground playground, old people to go to heaven with Jesus and nobody else. Anybody else in a hospital, they're like, what are you doing? Weird.

0:15:49 Tom: Not wrong brother

0:16:02 Eli: Want you to move on and tell us your second food story, but I do want to dwell for a moment on being in an emergency room and waiting in an urgency room because, you out as atheist podcasters way back in the day before we became the hit sensation parenting podcast, Dear Old Dance. And so a lot of people in our community identify as humanists and if you ever want someone to stop identifying as a humanist put them in an emergency room for zero minutes and they will they'll be like oh the human experiment was a failure I should bring kill as many into the because it is everybody in a room having the worst possible day my child is sick I am dying I have been shot violence murder death rape sorrow it's all the worst of humanity and the most

0:16:02 Tom: Yeah yes

0:16:54 Eli: Bored unhelpful staff of I imagine they must go through a navy seal -esque training right they you know that monkey that they rubbed against the wire monkey until it went insane they must do that to the people who work in the emergency room until their eyes are as dead as their souls inside inside so that they can just hand you a form while you scream just oh no you got blood on the signature you gotta do it again yeah

0:17:01 Thomas: Desensitize yeah yeah there's a a bear has eaten like your arm and it's still on there like it's the bears there and they're like all right wait over there

0:17:24 Eli: Now the bear has to do the form too yeah

0:17:28 Tom: I'm going to lunch so yeah it's fine well

0:17:28 Thomas: That bear can't have any salt just so you know no fucking salt

0:17:32 Eli: So that bear is honestly the bear's blood pressure is higher than yours and so he gets the the high salt diet and you you

0:17:39 Tom: Me add to that because like I'm gonna I'll actually read some funny well I think they're funny some text messages that I have I I have a friend of mine who's a doctor. He's an ER doctor at the hospital that I went to. So this guy, Dr. Yolk, but it's Scott for me. Like, Scott, like,

0:17:48 Thomas: Wow are we just gonna dox this guy or

0:17:54 Eli: Fucking put him on blast

0:17:54 Tom: Scott's great. He doesn't give a shit. He listens to some of the shows. So he's a great dude.

0:17:58 Eli: Pretty sure dr Dr. Scott doesn't want you to read his text messages, but go off, King. Now he can be your own private doctor.

0:18:02 Tom: So, no, he doesn't gave a shit, no. This is funny. So, like when I get there, I think I'm just having like a hard time managing the pain. I need a little help. I'll get a little bit of help. Maybe they'll send me home with something. And then the next day I'll do like the mri I was already planning to do that's what I was still thinking so I'm just like middle of the afternoon I'm like hey are you working today I'm in your er my back's all fucked up if I'm here and you come in for your shift stop by and say hey and he's like I start at nine I said well I sure hope I'll be gone by then lol right ha ha ha so then like he responds back like funny or whatever then later that night I'm Like hey they're admitting me I'll I'll probably be upstairs somewhere before, if you get here. And he's like, want me to look up your MRI? I see it just popped up. I'm like, yeah, sure. And then it like later. It's like one in the morning. I love this guy. This fucking guy cracks me. That's why he's so funny to me. Something looks fucked up in your spinal cord. I don' see a bulging disc, but I don''t like what I see. Oh, shit.

0:18:59 Tom: Imagine getting a response, right? And I was like, but Scott, I use my spine every day. That does not seem ideal.

0:18:58 Thomas: My god oh my God

0:19:08 Tom: Then he comes back to me again. No, it's not your spine. It's your actual spinal cord. And that. He asked me some questions that.

0:19:14 Thomas: Two different things fuck I don't know anything just

0:19:16 Eli: How often do you use your spinal cord?

0:19:20 Tom: Now it'S almost two in the morning. Ugh. Well, something is going on in your spinal cord. Ugh. Act surprised when they tell you since I'm not your doctor. But if the official read comes back before I leave, I'm getting neurosurgery involved. Then he comes back like a little bit later. It's like 2 .30 in the morning. I'm calling my friend, Dr. Jones. He's a great neurosurgeon. I'm waking him up now. I'll make sure he's the doctor. Are the messages I'm giving. I was like, okay, all right. It's the middle of the night. Like, hey, buddy, I am there. And he's like, I m calling people. Is not great then we had you know a little bit more stuff and he was he was actually very very good he stopped up several times and visited me and like he was actually the first person that showed me the pictures like he was there before the surgeons he's like you see your MRI and he had him on his phone and at one point he's like yeah I stopped what I was doing like in the middle of my shift and just spent like an hour reading through your

0:20:10 Tom: Your stuff it

0:20:09 Thomas: That's really nice to have that kind of friend geez that's that's a good good friend to have yeah

0:20:13 Tom: Awesome it was it was awesome and

0:20:15 Eli: The text messages to be a bit less casual. Like, I appreciate the inside line, but an UGG?

0:20:19 Tom: He's a friend of mine though yeah

0:20:18 Thomas: It's just fuck do you send memes no he's sending like like certain like memes about the fuck

0:20:22 Eli: I don't need an Ugg. The clasped hand meme and it's like your spine dying you in the center me

0:20:34 Tom: What I kind of was like I feel like maybe I'm in some actual trouble here and then it's so funny too because like he didn't see the disc problem down below that I actually had surgery on because he was like focused on this other issue that we're not not going to deal with until whenever until october whatever all right so another food situation because the food situation is like is a big so all have we met before have we like yeah they're all food yeah

0:20:35 Eli: When my spine

0:20:56 Thomas: Most your stories just food yeah they're all just food dude.

0:21:03 Eli: Of want to give tom the space to breathe and live his life but I could dwell for the next 10 hours on tom trying to order food by volume in the most pain he's ever been in he was like how many pounds of broccoli they're

0:21:16 Tom: Dude you're like right there because I'm still I'm I'm a I can't stop being a fucking crazy person I've been like losing some weight I've lost a little over 20 pounds I'm very controlled about my diet so I

0:21:26 Thomas: Guess I should go to, no, you're going to get a bunch of that. I need to get roll of dimes in my, yeah you're gonna lose tons of weight.

0:21:31 Eli: Gonna cut off his legs so this is exciting that's gonna do a that's going to do a lot yeah it's

0:21:36 Tom: So like you get this hospital menu of food and it is weirdly the least healthy food it's crazy how gross and unhealthy most of the food is yeah right and so like I'm looking at it I'm like okay well I still want to hit my goals I still don't want to hit my like protein goals and shit yeah I

0:21:53 Thomas: Come on.

0:21:44 Eli: For dying people yeah fucking macros you were worried about your fucking macro's in the hospital

0:21:55 Tom: Some degree like I'm still gonna get a chicken sandwich and not like a grilled cheese you know like

0:21:55 Thomas: Tom, Tom.

0:21:59 Eli: Harley harley I know that you are the love of my life but can you give me a fair life it's just the protein macros on that bad boy are so good

0:22:06 Tom: It's double filter triple filtration are

0:22:06 Thomas: She brings in like 15 like shakers or whatever. Like the, yeah

0:22:08 Tom: You kidding me I had no idea in fairness that I was going to be there for this long at this point at some point I gave up and started ordering doordash I ordered doordish several times it was just like I just gotta eat food well not if you're on the cardiac diet by by the way, because I asked.

0:22:13 Eli: Not the aldi ones those are gross yeah

0:22:21 Thomas: Can that's what's so funny you can just do that like they'll really they'll shake you down oh

0:22:27 Tom: Yeah, I fucking asked. I forgot that part because like I was like, I just going to order DoorDash. But then I'm like, someone's got to go get it for me because I can't go get It. So I hit the oh shit button and the patient care tech came in and I was Like, hey, if I order Doordash, can somebody go grab it, you know, for me or will they bring it right up here? I don't know how it works. And she was like. Oh yeah, we would go grab it. But not for you. You're on the cardiac diet. And I was a God damn it. Motherfuckers.

0:22:49 Thomas: Man

0:22:51 Eli: You thought a meat was gonna come in and be like I need the code sorry one second I'll be four five seven oh

0:23:01 Thomas: Guy just barging into different rooms someone's giving birth and someone's you know someone's dying someone's like

0:23:03 Eli: He leaves it in the hall you just just get a photograph of a of a wet bag in pediatrics yeah the

0:23:08 Thomas: In the background photograph of like someone's arm getting cut off and amputated

0:23:14 Eli: Morgue downstairs a meet you know that's not where I am I'm still giving you five stars because I don't know how this works but I I want you to know I'm unhappy I chose the tip before you got here there's nothing I can do about this now it

0:23:25 Tom: So one point I order like they're like grilled chicken sandwich and it arrives and it is a piece of chicken that is two -thirds the size of the smallest hamburger bun you've ever seen in your life it's got to be two and a half ounces of chicken like it is the thought of chicken it's it's the ghosts of chicken past like I've had eggs that are bigger than this piece of food it's yeah it's fucking absolutely absurd I they literally like brought it to me and I stared at it like in disbelief and horror like what is this it felt like a practical joke so then I call up the next time I place or I'm like all right Right. Like, there a limit to the number of chicken sandwiches I can order in any given order? And then there's this like long pause on the other end of the phone. And the person's like, well, no one's asked that before. And I was like, Well, I guess we're

0:23:42 Thomas: That's the thought that counts

0:23:45 Eli: Aspires to chicken this is the worst part of this hospital visit hey man

0:24:15 Tom: Both learning something new today.

0:24:15 Eli: Are you you a fucking crazy person could you just could you eat a little bit of food and go back to your hospital bed to recover I said I want all the chicken sandwiches you are legally allowed to hand me yeah

0:24:29 Thomas: Boo

0:24:28 Tom: To provide. So I did discover in my stay that they have limits. They have limits on all of it and I also discovered that my previously cast iron stomach has still not recovered from eating that food I'm never get an upset stomach from anything like I'll eat people's leftover like I'm just like well whatever it's fucking throw it in the machine that hospital food no my stomach is still fucked up I

0:24:47 Thomas: Was it also the drugs though because drugs that stuff can f you up pretty hard

0:24:54 Tom: Might be yeah

0:24:54 Eli: Morphine will fuck up your tum tum pretty bad that's

0:24:56 Tom: It might Might be. I don't know.

0:24:57 Thomas: There's a lot of stuff I didn't realize like didn'T I realize that like the the intense hockey I play, I didn't realize like, that's a big part of why my stomach's always fucked up. Cause you're my digestion, I think just like stops. It's like, Oh fuck.

0:25:07 Tom: Stops. Yeah.

0:25:08 Thomas: Yeah. I'm not doing anything. And so like two, three times a week, my digestion gets fucked.

0:25:10 Tom: 100 percent. It does. Yeah decided to blame it entirely on tiny chicken sandwiches. I've decided the all of the blame is entirely to be placed on tiny chicken sandwiches

0:25:18 Eli: Cut six months into the future well you didn't eat too little chicken did you like were you expecting a certain amount of chicken because that'll create a tumor the size of a roll of dimes in your spine and I just I'm glad we caught it before oh no one second I'm getting a text from scott it says I remember

0:25:41 Tom: Says I also have this thing where I was very aware that I'm, I'm in the hospital. These people are all taking care of me. I'm dependent on everybody for I actually had the operation, I couldn't get out of bed to use the bathroom. So I had to like piss in a shame jug. Like, and that's, I want to tell a funny thing about that. So like I tried to get to the restroom and I couldn't get to the restroom.

0:26:06 Eli: This you telling us about you messaged just about this and we were like hey man don't try to get to the restroom and you were like I got it tied the curtains around my neck and I'm sort of swinging myself so

0:26:12 Tom: Probably got it. Yeah, well, well Well, so so give you like this, this urinal, like a shame jug. Right. But like the way that the hospital room was set up and this is a very nice hospital, like the way the hospital is set up, there is no privacy curtain for some reason around the bed. I don't know why this one doesn't have it. Many hospitals do. This one has nothing, which means that like people just come in and out of your room whenever they come in. And maybe you're like hunched over trying to piss in a jug. When they show up

0:26:44 Thomas: My dick's in this jug for normal reasons. I swear.

0:26:46 Tom: That just it's fine it's totally like so

0:26:49 Eli: Jugging it speak

0:26:53 Thomas: I'm jugging it over here.

0:26:53 Tom: So like they give me this piss jug and I'm like all right you know oh god I'm jugging it and I don't know like if you've ever encountered trying to piss someplace where you're not supposed to piss and your body just won't do it won't do it thomas it won't do it it

0:26:57 Thomas: Mom, close the door. Dude. Oh, your body does not do it. Oh my God. Have you ever, it's so weird. I Okay. I have an emergency situation where I was stuck. This was years ago. I was stuck in some weird fucking, I don't remember what, but for some reason I was stuck in the car in traffic that was never ending. And I had to pee in a bottle. Have you ever done that? It was like, I was going to die.

0:27:25 Thomas: I was like yeah, it took me, I eventually did it, but it took the most effort of anything ever to where I was like, what is the force stopping me? Like what are, we're so trained to not pee in place where you're not supposed to pee.

0:27:25 Tom: Can't be done yes

0:27:38 Thomas: It's so interesting.

0:27:34 Tom: Thank you you're pee so

0:27:42 Thomas: Eli's peeing right now. Know crazy something's wrong with you yeah

0:27:40 Eli: Your fucking selves gentlemen I'm not kidding I could piss myself right now mid -sentence without noticing maybe

0:27:49 Tom: Insane yeah I tried to just like I'm down is a lot less pain than everything else so I was like I could just lay down and then my body was like well I can sit well sitting was an absolute like horror show so I'm trying to like sit on the edge of the bed like that was the pain was just so so ridiculous I couldn't like relax enough to get that done then I was like well maybe if I'm in a sort of half standing curled seat I'm trying all these insane positions I guess what I'm saying

0:28:15 Eli: If I do plow position I can pee I can hold the jar in my mouth first

0:28:17 Tom: It felt like that man and I'm just like I'm like trying like not to like cry and like piss in a jug piss and then the whole time you're constantly aware that somebody could walk in the door at any moment like while you're like hunched over like I'm trying to get the flow started god damn it it just trying to like use the goddamn bathroom was its own insane nightmare but

0:28:35 Thomas: Crazy

0:28:38 Eli: You by coming in here and singing rivers and roads I need someone to sing rivers and roads by the hand and the heart I don't know why it just gets me going it's

0:28:44 Tom: I need it but

0:28:49 Thomas: Glad it's not just me I I haven't thought about that forever

0:28:51 Eli: Just you two hey we weirdos no this is a fucking weirdos situation

0:28:53 Thomas: You're just a psychopath I think if you're a psychopath your

0:28:56 Tom: No, this isn't. No.

0:28:56 Thomas: Body is like oh I

0:28:58 Tom: This is called being potty trained, man.

0:28:58 Thomas: Could pee anywhere because I'm eli a psychopath you know I

0:29:03 Eli: I think you think maybe that's what it is is like the knowledge of other people

0:29:05 Thomas: Think it is I I think you're entitled. Yeah.

0:29:07 Tom: You just, yeah. Right. Yeah. Eli's that guy. Nobody could walk in. Nobody else is real. It's fine piss

0:29:12 Thomas: Your parents let you pee anywhere, anytime? Like, restaurants, on the table, you know, just whatever.

0:29:16 Eli: I still do do still do why

0:29:19 Thomas: Still do.

0:29:21 Eli: Would I not pee in front of people what are they they're nothing do

0:29:23 Thomas: Now it becomes clear. Okay. So, what?

0:29:27 Tom: There go it all adds up so

0:29:29 Eli: Know that that's a thing in the kink community just

0:29:31 Tom: Peeing in front of other people

0:29:33 Eli: That is a big thing is that there are lots of people who are into pee uh there are very few people who can actually pee on another person like it is a huge nerve

0:29:42 Thomas: So, you're like a commodity. You're like.

0:29:43 Eli: -wracking I was a fucking golden for lack of and child yeah so if you need someone to piss on you tom let me know I'm

0:29:52 Thomas: Funny.

0:29:47 Tom: There's a golden ticket yeah oh god okay I think I don't I think I'm good yeah but if I find out yeah well

0:29:58 Eli: Gonna piss on you just in case you

0:30:00 Tom: Now is your time I can't I'll just be like like, yup, you sure did that.

0:30:02 Eli: Can't stop me come on come

0:30:05 Tom: Anyway, you took a swift step backward. I can't get you.

0:30:06 Eli: On ah this is the worst 10 things that have happened to me this year top 50 for sure okay top 50 top top 100 it's

0:30:18 Tom: It's in the, I'll make a new list. It's I need a new list.

0:30:19 Eli: It's not gonna it's not gonna break a thousand oh tom why tom's

0:30:33 Tom: Other things I just wanted to chat about. So when I was in the hospital, I was very aware that like everybody is there and they're all working really hard to take and jokes aside about the er and the indifference of the er I was very very very kind to me and like when I got up into my room and was admitted everybody there were no exceptions everybody was extraordinarily kind like the kindness was kind of like overwhelming and I made an immediate note I was like I'm gonna get to know everybody's name and I'm going to ask them questions about who they are and i're I'm going to try to get to know people a little bit and not just absorb this. I'm stuck here. I'm gonna make some relationships as best I can and make it good

0:31:11 Eli: Curled up in a sea around the piss jar so tell me nurse do you have any hobbies did

0:31:12 Thomas: Networking.

0:31:16 Tom: Well, you're not totally wrong. So it up where I knew things about all the people that were taking care of me. I knew their family, what their kids were like, how they got into nursing, or why they became a patient care tech, or whatever. Because they're coming in constantly. And you may as well make conversation. There's literally nothing else to do I did not I did not but I I got to know two of them well enough that when I got readmitted they saw that I got readmitted and they came down to visit me from another floor from

0:31:34 Eli: Use eli's dinner party questions you should have they you a norm they were like hey he's back thomas

0:31:48 Tom: Actually like really yeah I wish they were actually both like I really wish you weren't here I'm sorry to see you back but it was such a nice thing to do

0:31:54 Thomas: My God. Is such a better way to be in life and I will never do it like I it's it's so funny because was kind of in a manic state telling us these things or me I can't remember which and I was like man this is so genuinely impressive that like he's in that much pain he's making all these connections and it's also pretty beneficial like unfortunately the quality the of your care is probably not insignificantly affected by making these connections or at least like not being an asshole, you know, which is, fine you with that being a factor, but, like I still could just never do it's it. It's too hard. Like I don't, it's weird. You know, I always feel like I'm bothering people. That Do must be what it is, part of it anyway, but you're just able to network with anybody.

0:32:33 Tom: There was like a night nurse at one point who like I got a vibe that she didn't want to chat so I just left it be but like most people like it like they come to see every couple hours like they are happy to like chat a little bit

0:32:41 Thomas: You know you're in there for a long, I'M thinking you were in there for what would you say for the 14 day? What'd you say? Something like that. Yeah. Yeah, maybe on day like three, I think I'd finally be like, all right, apparently I'm fucking here. So who are you? What's, what are you, what, hi, who, how tall are you and what's a normal question?

0:32:46 Tom: 12

0:32:58 Eli: Like we could have unlocked that if we could have gotten someone to be wrong and stupid loud enough next to you right like I feel like if a guy was like no dude listen to me obsession is about how crazy bitches are you'd have been like all right never mind hey take this scalpel away so here's the thing that you don't understand she's she asked remember she's asleep and says she wants you're not listening god damn it lydia get it what's

0:33:21 Tom: On this subject of like, um, I don't know, family and friends too. Like I just, I, had this experience too, where I was in there and, um I just want to like give some specific like shout outs or whatever. I don'T know. But like Cecil has been like unbelievable. He's always been such, he's been such a good friend of me for 30 years, but like he knew that Haley couldn't like, she physically, one, she can't drive. Um, and she She still is. She's not like it's not like I got hurt and she suddenly became more capable than she was the day before I got her and less, you know, unwell than the day Before I got heard her needs did not change just because I got hurt, which means that she did could come to see me several times, but she couldn't be there all the time and like she could not be physically. She just can't be in the hospital for eight or ten hours. That's not a thing she can do for me or for anybody and she would have loved to have done it if she could but she just literally physically can't do that kind of thing so it's it's this like there's a couple

0:34:19 Tom: Of things

0:34:19 Eli: It because she doesn't love you enough like like why is that is you check and see I

0:34:20 Thomas: I think it's probably that.

0:34:20 Tom: Like I actually have been reflecting like it's something that I like I want like I've been thinking about this a lot like you know when somebody has been on creates a like a requirement functionally for the other person to be chronically well right like if somebody is chronally ill somebody else has to be electronically well And when that doesn't happen, it's not like the chronically ill person becomes more well, right?

0:34:44 Tom: Because that was the case, they were faking it, right, that was untrue the whole time, right

0:34:47 Eli: Wonder

0:34:44 Thomas: Yeah, yeah. So that goes to Eli's thesis.

0:34:48 Eli: If somebody

0:34:49 Tom: It's and that is very not true for Haley So created this like,

0:34:49 Eli: Guessed that already or

0:34:55 Thomas: Or she's really good at faking it. I don't know. Some people are committed, man.

0:34:57 Eli: Maybe that's why she's afraid to go into the hospital is they're like oh it's all fake faily what's

0:34:59 Tom: Not afraid of anything, no

0:35:00 Thomas: They'll find out. Yeah, they'll be like, there's nothing wrong with that woman.

0:35:03 Tom: Nothing Nothing. None of that is none of that. None of that

0:35:05 Eli: Hey I'm a doctor just walking by that lady's never been sick in case anybody's wondering

0:35:08 Tom: Just at MD Anderson in March. So but like it this sort of like crisis point that can't really be resolved. Right. Because like I can't not need help and she can't help more than the same amount of help she could have done before. It's not there is no more reserve where she would have already been offering it. But there is still a need. So like Cecil without even thinking I don't he didn't, he just was like, Hey, I'm taking this time off. I'm going to be there. When's your surgery? I'm gonna make sure you have a friendly face when they wheel you back and a friendly face, when they will you out. They, they both visited me many times. My dad was there several times. I had visitors. Um, I think every day, but like one or two that I didn't want visitors where I was like I'm just not up for it today. I'd like just please. No, thank you. But I had people bringing like they sent me food. They showed up. It was just really unbelievably kind.

0:35:59 Eli: Rude then

0:36:02 Thomas: Had way more of a social life in that time than I did. For sure. On my best day.

0:36:06 Eli: Then thomas has in his normal lindsey

0:36:08 Thomas: Yeah oh Oh, easily.

0:36:09 Tom: Like Thomas, like know, my social life is not particularly active. It hasn't been for a while. I had had people come out and visit me that I haven't seen for years in person so like my buddy rob he drove out two hours and I haven'T seen rob in four or five years and he was just like drop everything and he just hopped in the car on a day and took a day off and just hung out with me for several hours just just to be there cecil lives an hour from me like an hour for me he's not like he had to take like days off of work move his recording schedules around all that kind of stuff And he was just like, boom, I'm there. No problem. You it was just incredible. Haley was, of course, there. My kids all showed up like at different times. Donovan and the other thing I want to talk about next is like boys specifically, Donovan and Finn, they completely rallied around here because like I said, like it's Haley's still exactly as sick as she was the day before I got hurt. So like she can't just pick up the slack it's not a thing it's it's not possible she did exactly what she could do which was more but like a she she pays a pretty serious price for doing more in a given day so she can't just like do all the stuff that I do but Donovan and Finn just like swooped in and they just they woke up Aislinn at five o 'clock in the morning they got aiming off to school at seven in the early morning they made sure that the laundry got done they took care of dishes they made Sure the cats were taken care of and and the garbages were out and like they just did stuff they just they care of business around here and they were like happy to do it they were happy to do it and rallied and they've continued to rally because I still can't do much like my -to -day functionality is still low so like they're still on the do the stuff train Like they're still doing all the stuff. And you know, when you got hurt, he's the first thing I did. I wanted to just do all of your house stuff. I want to just take up all of it. So you didn't have to think about it. And

0:38:05 Thomas: Like, then it sucked. And so I did one chore.

0:38:10 Tom: But he did. He did. They did so much like they did. They did. So much, you know, 19 and 20 year old boys that didn't really have to be told too much. You know, they need to be taught how to do something here, what to do there. But like they don't need to told to help. They just need to Be told kind of like how to be most helpful. Donovan drove Haley every time she needed to go anywhere, including every time he came to visit me. And that means he had to stick around while she and I hung out together you know the hospital's a 30 -minute drive from my house it's not a five minute ride you know it's a thirty minute drive from the house so they really so many people and like I want to say this too because it's Not only men but it was mostly men like I am a man man supported 75 % by men in my life. My, Lynn showed up. I don't know what to call her. My step -mom. I dunno.

0:39:01 Eli: Clancy

0:39:01 Tom: Lynn showed Up. She showed up twice and it was wonderful. It was actually, she was really, really sweet and she was Really concerned for me.

0:39:05 Thomas: Started searching the

0:39:01 Eli: She did flip the room to

0:39:06 Thomas: Room. Yeah, I was going to say, she's like I know there's some fucking salt in here. I know. I know, there's subsodium.

0:39:09 Eli: Scotty

0:39:12 Tom: But like, we talk a lot about this show about like, you know, toxic masculinity and problems of like emotionally, like, uh, stunted men who can't connect with other people and like the loneliness crisis that men experience and all that stuff is real but like like was there for me a hundred percent aislan showed up for me I'm not saying women didn't show up you know lynn showed up voor me she was she was there cecil's wife sarah was there but like cecil was there and my dad was there and my buddy rob was thereand my son finnegan was therean my son donovan was there andmy friend chris was there like and my my other friend kevin michelle like scott was there to be like oh you're broken and dying I'm just saying I had a lot of men show up for me too like a lot men showed up for I know and I thought about this show like but I was thinking about I was about this specifically and like and that that's something that I look at and I'm like I these had other people that like my buddy in california texted me every single day to check in on me um I had people I had guy down the street who's checking in on Haley to see if he could have my buddy TJ was checking in on, on Haney to see si he could help her in any way. It's just like this outpouring of support. And so much of it was like this, this out pouring of like men who were like, yeah, I'm I'm your guy. I'm, I'm here. You guys checked on me. I don't know how many times, many times. So like, I just like, look at that. And I'm like, it's possible, you know, it's fucking possible. Like all that shit. Like we can get all worked up about how like all this stuff in the world is shit but like you can build a network of good kind loving caring empathetic men who will rally around you when shit goes down because like I fucking have it like

0:39:48 Eli: Sent you all those memes about your spine

0:39:59 Thomas: Sorry. Yeah,

0:40:58 Tom: And you know because they're

0:40:59 Thomas: I'm not going to, but one could. Yeah. No,

0:41:01 Eli: You should see when thomas gets hurt lydia's not gonna visit him he's just gonna be on the floor pissing into a jug yeah

0:41:02 Tom: Out there that's true that's rough

0:41:01 Thomas: I agree. Oh, God, no. Yeah. No, we would have been podcasting in the stupid hospital room. It's the only way we could fucking survive.

0:41:13 Tom: Guys would so I just it's something it's one of the many things that like stood out to me like I I knew cecil would be there for me he's my guy you know but like like just the thought that like hey I don't want you to get wheeled away without a friendly face and you might not have one and he's just like I'm gonna make sure I'm there when they you know take you back to the operating room like that's such an incredible kind and loving and empathetic thing to do and like I just had such a huge like base of support and I continue to have have like just an overwhelming amount of support it's it's kind of ridiculous and been a hard time like and I've and like I know I've been going on a long time but I one more thing I want to talk about that's kindof been a big deal for me like I've also been and I told hayley about this the other day like um messing with my mood to be hurt this time and ive been hurt before and it never messes with my mode at all um I'll usually be the first one to laugh about it. I might get like, no, it doesn't mess with my mood at all. But this time it's messed with my mode. I am like, I'm having a hard time waking up and just being like, yep, good day today. You know, like I'm a great mood most of the time. And that's a new experience for me. And I've been reading about why that might happen. It actually might be something specific to like how nerve pain fucks with your amygdala. But like, it's a real effect that I'm experiencing. And that's made me feel like not myself. And that's been really hard. Like, am surrounded by so many people that have rallied around me and supported me. I am okay. I'm going to be okay. I've got some worries that are like, not distant, but like, they're not here until they're here. And I've still got my whole life in front of me that's probably going tobe just fine. Like it's weird for me not to wake up and feel like myself and to feel like grouchy and to feel in like a just not not depressed but just yeah I guess a depressed state for myself like if I'm normally at a five I'm at a three and I'm like well what the fuck I don't I don'T really know what to do with that I've discovered that like I can't work out and that's a stress relieving skill like for me

0:43:26 Tom: That I use can't ride my little lad bike I can't take a walk around the block so I'm just sort of like I'm a guy without skills it turns out to be unhappy I don't really know how to be unhealthy

0:43:25 Thomas: You can't ride your little lad bike. Can you turn into one of those weirdos in the recumbent? Is that the word recumbant vice?

0:43:42 Tom: If I if I have to get a recumbent bike I'll buy one I've actually already started looking at them

0:43:46 Thomas: I was going to say like, I don't think any amount of someone explaining to me how better that is could ever make me do that. I'm sorry. I can't. Oh

0:43:54 Eli: Feel like that's tom's jam

0:43:55 Tom: I it's the only way to get out and do it if

0:43:57 Eli: He's gonna love it in his little tube his little backwards bike tube he

0:43:57 Thomas: Man. I am glad you have the psychology to be able to do that that well that sounds cool

0:44:02 Eli: Would ride a tron cycle through the woods to

0:44:01 Tom: If if this tumor fucks up my legs I've already looked like there's I'll bikes you can buy there's there's things you can do to just use your arms I'll be like fine I never skip arm day it turns out yeah like but I'll b I I gotta do something

0:44:13 Thomas: That's a different story yeah no that's cool

0:44:16 Eli: Be clear thomas is not saying that people who can't use their legs are stupid bike users he's I know

0:44:21 Tom: Yeah he just thinks those recumbent bikes look stupid

0:44:23 Thomas: It's the weird

0:44:23 Eli: He said that on other episodes

0:44:24 Thomas: Old guy who does yeah yeah not until I'm in the hospital bed will we get that take from me

0:44:31 Eli: One's gonna know when you're in the hospital little bit lydia

0:44:33 Tom: Oh the show's a little late so

0:44:36 Eli: Forget to tell everybody literally only patreon will know they'll be like hey episodes late there

0:44:42 Tom: Yeah that's it I just like that's the only thing that I've been like kind of it's been weird for me is the uh depressed mood I'm having a really hard time sleeping because all the uh I think it's all the drugs they put me on like the steroids and stuff like I'm getting like three hours or so sleep a night and struggling with this one a little bit like i'M NOT GONNA LIE like this one has been hard I this recovery has hurt more the the after effects have been and then and then there's been like this like weird mood effect to the whole thing that I didn't anticipate. And I've discovered that like some of my like coping skills and strategies for stress, they're so physical, like they're so physical. And then absent my ability to to physically like do stuff, I'm like, oh, I actually don't have a lot of good skills.

0:45:25 Thomas: There is nothing worse than getting sleep deprived like the amount that that screws with with you is just it's insane so you're saying these the the drugs kind of made it so you can't sleep and

0:45:36 Tom: They put me on a shit. So after I got readmitted because Because the right.

0:45:40 Thomas: That's relative to you too so like I'm not getting my usual three hours it's

0:45:43 Tom: That's. Yeah there. Well that's the thing is I'm not and like there's like I'm getting like three or less very often. So it's it's been that's been hard.

0:45:52 Thomas: So bad for your brain yeah

0:45:53 Tom: I know. It's they put me on a shit ton of steroids to get the inflammation and the swelling down because that's why I got readmitted. So that they me home and I thought like oh it'll be fine. But like they send you home and they put like a like kind of a long acting um uh in the in the area and then that dissolves and goes away so by the time I woke up the next day that was gone and it was the nerve had inflamed up so bad that it basically locked it on the new mri they did it locked itself all the way back up again so I needed a couple days of pain intervention and then uh they had to kick up just a like a ridiculous amount of steroids at me in order to get the inflammation to go down so and that and then I'm almost out out of the steroids. So I'm tapering off of them now, but yeah, they fuck with my sleep. I take them and I can't, I'm just awake. I just cannot sleep. And then if I sleep, it's fitful and I can't stay asleep. So like my sleep quality is like three hours or less and it's like super low quality sleep. So, but I'll leave you with this guys.

0:46:53 Tom: I've lost all of my hospital weight. I gained four pounds. I gained four pounds and I'm still a fucking crazy person.

0:46:57 Eli: It is you gotta stick to your macros everybody

0:47:01 Tom: So So I did. I did my weigh -in yesterday, and I'm back to my pre -hospital weight.

0:47:04 Eli: Look if any if you have just been hospitalized for a fortnight and you haven't already taken off the pounds we hate you and judge you a lot dear

0:47:13 Tom: I know, it's a fucking lunatic thing to say.

0:47:15 Eli: Old dad all gentlemen, before we go, Tom's not the only one having it rough. The toilets at the local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

0:47:39 Thomas: Good might

0:47:43 Clip: Want to meet sexy DILFs in your area? Email thedads at dearolddads.com or better yet, send us a message on Patreon. You can follow us on all social media by checking the links in the show notes. And if you need more podcasts in your life, you can find Tom on Cognitive Dissonance, Thomas on Serious Inquiries Only, and Eli on Godawful Movies and all the Puzzle and the Thunderstorm shows. Dear Old Dads is edited and produced by my favorite DILF, Tom Smith, who also wrote and recorded the intro music, which is used with his permission. This podcast is a production of Daddy Issues, LLC, copyright 2022, all rights reserved.

0:48:32 Thomas: A nine with slurs.

0:48:35 Eli: Two calendar weeks is a long time to be in a place that is literally just meant for old people to die in it's

0:48:41 Thomas: A goat in your spine jesus christ got

0:48:45 Tom: Decided to blame it entirely on tiny chicken sandwiches. I've

0:48:49 Thomas: Bear can't have any salt just my dick's in this jug for normal reasons. I swear.

0:48:53 Eli: Remember jugging it