DOD273: We Almost Did An Episode Before Remembering Eli Golfed

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:02 Clip: I'm the cool dad, that's my thing I know now what I can offer you that no one else can Complete and under-dependent I'm a man, I'm sensitive I need to feel loved, I need part of being a father that I enjoy

0:00:28 Tom: Welcome to Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's learning to wait quietly. I'm Tom Curry. I am joined, as always, by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen.

0:00:38 Eli: Hey everybody,

0:00:39 Thomas: Howdy, howdy doody. I don't know. I was blanking on what to say. Hello. Hi. I'm normal.

0:00:43 Eli: Skinny Marink. Did you guys see that movie?

0:00:47 Thomas: What? Oh, is that a horror movie or something? Yeah, I don' t really... Don't watch a ton of those.

0:00:48 Tom: Why don't you know what movie you're referring to? Skinny Marink is a horror movie?

0:00:49 Eli: Skinny Marink, yeah! A horror movie, sure. Yeah, it had like a $7 budget and made $80 bagillion dollars. Skinny marink. Like skinny marinka dinka dink. Skinny marinka do.

0:00:57 Thomas: Huh. Like the beginning of that song?

0:00:57 Tom: Wait, it's really called Skinny Marink? I've never even heard of it. No, I don't know. No. My kids love horror movies. I just am not a fan. I'm not into it. It's not my thing.

0:01:09 Eli: I don't like horror movies.

0:01:09 Thomas: Yeah, I'm not scared of them. I just don't like... They're just boring to me. I don't really...

0:01:12 Tom: To be honest, most of them are just so fucking stupid. Like the plot lines are so dumb. I it's not the like gore or the like that stuff feels just like weird, gratuitous, but like fine if it's interesting, but most of it's just not interesting to me. It'S just not a good story.

0:01:21 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah. I' m with you.

0:01:26 Eli: You know what I like to do? I like to read the Wikipedia summaries so that I know what happened in them. And the other day that, And by that, I mean, no,

0:01:32 Tom: Why

0:01:34 Thomas: Like when you don't watch them or before you watch them

0:01:36 Eli: When I don't watch them. Yeah.

0:01:36 Thomas: Or when you don't watch them okay oh about the horror movie they just need to stay

0:01:37 Tom: Is this a sports thing? Is this so you can have a conversation with people that do like like this yeah it's all about the murdering if we can avoid the gates of hell I think we've got a shot boys yeah

0:01:41 Eli: It's so that I can have a conversation with people who do like this. I also find they

0:01:47 Thomas: Healthy I just hope they're having fun sorry yeah

0:01:48 Eli: Do need to stay healthy. That's the whole point of the thing. No, but like often, often a horror movie will have like, often a horror moving will have, like, um, it's all about the murdering. Often a horror movie will have a central conceit, a mystery that is interesting to me. Like something is killing these hikers. And I'm like, oh, I want to know what's killing those hikers.

0:02:11 Thomas: Oh yeah I like that stuff that's all

0:02:16 Eli: So I'll go read the Wikipedia and I'll be like, oh, it was one of the hikers who was killing the hIKERS. Naughty hiker.

0:02:24 Thomas: Right didn't see that coming

0:02:23 Tom: You know what's so funny is I love reading horror novels I read horror novels a lot. I read them all the time.

0:02:29 Thomas: Horror novels what's a horror novel I don't read books sorry

0:02:33 Tom: I just finished Horns by Joe Hill. It's a horror novel.

0:02:36 Eli: So good, right?

0:02:37 Tom: It's incredible. It is a very, very, good book. Seriously, it is outstanding.

0:02:38 Thomas: You only wikipedia it eli don't tell nice

0:02:44 Tom: It is a genre that I really like, but movies, zero out of ten for me. I never ...

0:02:48 Thomas: Question do you read actual physical books and follow up how do you have the time to do that ever

0:02:53 Tom: I read 99 % of the time on an electronic device of some kind. I write a

0:02:56 Thomas: But you are reading not listening because the only way I could see like if you had time is you're doing a million other things like I'm doing and then you you can listen to something, which is cool, but you can actually find the time to read. Crazy.

0:03:05 Tom: Lot while Haley was in in the hospital. For example, I probably knocked out five or six books while she was in the hospital. And then if she's watching like a comfort show, something that we've watched over and over again, it's just sort of like a Comfort Show. And we're just kind of hanging out together in the late evening. Then sometimes I'll read while she sort of watches a rerun show. So, you know, I'll do that. I just, you Know, I'm not like trying to be a preachy asshole, but I'll come across that way. You have a lot more time if you just never scroll.

0:03:11 Eli: Lucky.

0:03:36 Thomas: No, that's, that'S true.

0:03:38 Tom: If you replace like your five minutes scrolling with five minutes of reading yeah

0:03:40 Thomas: Replace scrolling with a scroll. I don't know. I was trying to, no.

0:03:44 Eli: An actual scroll.

0:03:44 Tom: Like and I'm not saying one's better I'm not even trying to like do that but like that is kind of what I do

0:03:47 Thomas: No, no yours is better. This is one time where Tom, where you're actually, you can just go ahead and full -throatedly say this. Cause it's true.

0:03:53 Tom: Like I'll read a book on my phone so like it's like oh you've got that like 10 minutes of downtime so I'll read 10 12 pages of a book you know and that adds up quick enough that like you can power through stuff fairly

0:04:01 Thomas: Hmm. That's awesome. Boy. That's interesting. What if, yeah, everybody did a little like experiment of like, Like every time you're about to scroll, read a book, read a fucking book. Yeah. No, no, it's awesome. It's probably would be way better for all of us.

0:04:11 Tom: Swiftly it sounds so fucking ye olde boomer fucking shit I know I know it. I know, I know. Yeah. But I will, I'll read horror novels like crazy. Like I love Joe Hill.

0:04:23 Thomas: Interesting.

0:04:23 Tom: I like Stephen King. I liked all, you know, like I'll yeah.

0:04:25 Thomas: You know, it is interesting because, you know, they can't just rely on the visual of gratuitous violence. They'll have to have actually thought of stuff to make it interesting the whole time.

0:04:33 Tom: For me, like, like a very good writer tells us like a, a very character driven story. And then I find like, I find personally with like a good horror novel is they tend to have a good, like positive wrap up at the end. So in the end, they're sort of like, well, here's this bad thing and it happened and then it was overcome. And you know these people come out in the and they're whole and they are better for it or whatever. And it's actually not a net negative story. You know what I mean?

0:04:59 Thomas: Hmm.

0:04:59 Tom: It's actually almost always like, okay, all right, we got here. It was like, it was a lot to get here, but we got here. And so I find them kind of, I don't know how to say it. They're kind of almost weirdly relaxing in that way because you know it's going to turn out okay. When they don't, they can fuck themselves raw. They can fuck themselves forever raw. There's an author that I read, he wrote a book called the deep it's a really challenging yeah nick

0:05:14 Thomas: Oh, I don't read stuff that's going to turn out. Oh, wow. Okay. This is pretty important information.

0:05:26 Eli: You don't like Nick, what's his name? Nick Cullen, I think it is. Nick Cutter. Yeah.

0:05:30 Tom: Something nick that guy can fuck himself forever nick cutter thank you I got to the end of that and it did not end well and I'm like that is fucked what you just did to me

0:05:38 Thomas: I never would have thought you needed to have a book end well that's the weirdest thing I can't predict you Tom there's many ways yeah yeah well but you're so used to everything being bad I would you even notice you

0:05:43 Tom: Oh that's not what I need in my life right now thomas like if I was like reading like I I don't want that man that doesn't help like that's not like helpful to

0:05:53 Thomas: Know like yeah I could see it going either way

0:05:57 Eli: No, I get it because when something ends that bad and the deep is a great example of it ending that bad, you're just sort of like, well, then what did we do here, man? Yeah.

0:05:59 Tom: Me oh yes yes like why'd you take me through this fucking emotional journey just to be like yeah if I'm gonna then it just turns out like shit and you're like yes

0:06:11 Thomas: Wow so interesting

0:06:16 Eli: If I spend 90 minutes with Funny Games, everybody's dead at the end. I'm like, all right, funny games. Lame. But if I spent 375 pages with you for you to be like, and then they fuck off, man. Make a jump scare video that comes up when I think I'm looking at a picture of a baby dancing or something like you don't there is an inherent disagreement about the purpose of art when someone's just like it's the same thing I feel about like when the conclusion of art is like deep hatred or sexism a lot of great novels they don't tell you this they're afraid to tell you this but a lot great novels the conclusion is bitches be crazy right and they don'T tell you of that but a bunch of classics yeah

0:06:31 Thomas: Thing well

0:06:34 Tom: Man

0:06:58 Thomas: I feel like historically all the authors were just incels right like so many of the dudes were just like oh really oh man really I actually so that's one that I actually I read the old man in the sea and I liked it so much I read a bunch of hemingway and I uh I enjoyed it maybe I missed I might have missed something

0:07:05 Eli: Exactly a tremendous amount of hemingway is just like women am I right oh my god so much Hemingway is just like old man in the sea fucks so hard and it's the it's the best representation of women he has because he doesn't represent any of them he's like fish yeah

0:07:24 Thomas: Yeah I love that book

0:07:24 Tom: Man there's no women in it yeah there's no women

0:07:28 Thomas: There are none yeah no but like like farewell to arms uh let's see what else there's some other ones I did I don't remember the name I don'T remember that being the message but maybe I missed it fuck

0:07:37 Eli: So a bunch of them are just fucking sexist as fuck and again I have the same thing with horror and sad, all the way sad books. I know you love on the road, Tom, but that's how I feel about on the road.

0:07:47 Tom: Just the road yeah the road yeah

0:07:47 Eli: Not on the roads, the road On the Road is Kerouac one. Uh, but the road where I'm just like at the end, I'm like, all right, well, yeah, fucking sucked.

0:07:55 Thomas: Oh wait we're not doing a bonus anymore I forgot oh

0:07:57 Tom: Okay no I want to ask because I've been a meaning ass like are there any books that you actually regret reading that you're like that was a fucking great book and I really wish I hadn't read

0:08:03 Eli: Oh yeah. A bunch.

0:08:07 Thomas: That you liked it and thought it was yeah

0:08:08 Eli: Yeah. A bunch.

0:08:09 Tom: It like that it was just you recognize it like that was a good like american psycho is an undeniably like there's nothing you're going to criticize about it as a book and I wish I'd never read it I don't remember if I threw up or if I almost threw up while I was reading it or the other I felt very sick reading it it was very uncomfortable it's a million times worse than the movie a million times worse the movie is like the fucking G-rated sunshine bambi version of that book that book upset me like that book was like I don't feel good about this there's a handful of those

0:08:19 Eli: There's some, yeah. Yeah,

0:08:37 Thomas: Wow jesus

0:08:39 Eli: Yeah yeah. There are some yucky books, um, that I really regret reading they put images in my head that I don't and that are just sort of always there and I invested in those characters and feel honestly you know what I feel like that way about is uh what is I'm gonna get it wrong prime meridian meridian of something the meridian whatever I don'T fucking know

0:09:02 Tom: Uh I don'T know

0:09:05 Thomas: I feel that way about game of thrones honestly I love those books but I just don't think I can do it anymore they're too too gruesome

0:09:11 Tom: I quit like in the feast of four crows feast of crows feasting with crows there's something yeah I got halfway through that one I'm like I can't read another page of somebody walking around being hungry and cold like I

0:09:16 Thomas: A Feast for Crows I think I don' t know

0:09:24 Tom: Can't do it like I know you're

0:09:26 Thomas: Oh, that part, that part was fine.

0:09:26 Tom: Hungry I know your cold I can'T do anymore I'm so I just got bored is all I'm saying like I'm just goofing

0:09:31 Eli: There's a bunch of that stuff where I'll read a book and I don't like it there's I'll also say that a lot of sci -fi is just fucking just privileged bullshit and I it's just fucking I can't there's

0:09:44 Thomas: Guys,

0:09:42 Tom: Around yeah man everything heinlein ever wrote is a problem okay all right sorry we're doing this god damn

0:09:47 Thomas: We got to do an episode. And the only thing worse. No, we gotta do the first break. We're already 12 minutes in. We haven't done the first break Lydia. Look, Lydia has been lately. Lydia has a little miffed about how hard it is to do the ad breaks because we don't do one forever.

0:09:50 Eli: We're doing the episode thomas let it flow let it blow patreon.com/Dear Old Dads

0:09:56 Tom: It also blood meridian I wish I never had blood

0:10:03 Eli: You know what ernest hemingway would say hit her in the mouth

0:10:07 Tom: Meridian oh jesus christ man

0:10:07 Thomas: The only thing worse than Eli's summary of Hemingway.

0:10:08 Eli: Closed fist she'll never say it again as ernest hemingway used to would say about lydia rip into her no but hey look here's the thing I know after I say something like that your first thought is how can I give that guy money and I'm glad you asked over at patreon .com forward slash d roll dance we'll get a commercial free version of every single show plus which we just recorded we just reported a monthly bonus episode little ama talked about all sorts sorts of stuff in there our favorite and least favorite questions to be asked as a parent what fights we have with our spouse all sorts of cool stuff and you can check all of it out over at patreon.com/Dear Old Dads like those sharks

0:10:12 Tom: Ernest hemingway oh jesis christ

0:10:32 Thomas: A bonus bonus dear old dads

0:10:52 Eli: Into the fish in patreon. What did I say

0:10:55 Thomas: You said dear old dad

0:10:56 Tom: Dear old dad just one of us yeah Yeah. Which one? I've been locked out of the accounts for a while, guys. Is that intentional? It feels intentional. Oh, my

0:10:57 Eli: That's I think that's close enough to the real one yeah it's just my venmo yeah

0:10:59 Thomas: Oh did he start his own that's like yeah yeah yeah

0:11:07 Eli: Thomas isn't bothering to get this one back he's just like okay yeah no that one's all yours buddy enjoy shame on me yeah uh so yeah get it all over there and fucking get it in get it up like those sharks and the old man in the

0:11:09 Thomas: It's like fool me once kind of thing like

0:11:22 Eli: Sea rip into it he stole his fish

0:11:29 Ad: [Ad break 1 — ad music]

0:11:30 Thomas: So I don't know if you're trying to continue saying whatever you're saying if you want to get to the do you want me to get to the other thing or now I ruined

0:11:35 Eli: Oh okay well now I've now it's now my nuts all yeah my boner's all killed my literary boner

0:11:41 Thomas: It sorry about your dick

0:11:41 Eli: Is killed thank you that can that be the new clothes sorry about your dick put it on the

0:11:45 Thomas: It's like the greeting card I sent you yeah hey I wanted to talk about something guys because I saw these videos on uh insta when I was scrolling and not reading books

0:11:50 Tom: Is it Insta or the gram? Which is it? Is it insta or the gram okay I just want to know boo

0:11:58 Thomas: Uh oh I don't fucking care man I barely I've I've grown to know what instagram is inadvertently I used to not even understand it but now everything is just tiktok or whatever it's all collapsed into one

0:12:09 Eli: Gram it's all yeah the talk again

0:12:09 Thomas: Thing because this is the short video yeah it's just short video content whatever yep yep I hate it

0:12:13 Eli: And everything's a real talk something you know I've actually I've dove in back in in a weird way because I don't know if you guys gentlemen have seen but over at puzzle in a thunderstorm we're exploring the world of video content

0:12:25 Thomas: Yep and it's not the only fans kind that I want it's some boring

0:12:28 Eli: It's not the only kind of gun and so I obviously being the most tech savvy of my company really picture that I have set up the tiktoks and the instagrams and the youtubes and stuff which means I'm on these clean youtube accounts like with no algorithm to tell them what I'm like and uh in case you're wondering all of those websites when you first start out are like uh chick in a thong uh you racist no not racist um

0:12:41 Thomas: Shit wow okay no yeah

0:12:58 Tom: They're like they're like carnival barkers for like awful shit like racism here get your racism chick in a thong. Got a chick in a thong anyone want a chicken

0:13:04 Thomas: Yeah they're like the people outside of like concerts trying to sell tickets kind of in a weird

0:13:08 Eli: Yeah noticed you put a bunch of atheism hashtags on a thing racist you want some racism what

0:13:14 Thomas: Way they're, like, we're pretty sure yeah I know you you answered no, but.

0:13:19 Eli: About those jubilee debates you like those I mean, and more importantly, who do you want to win those?

0:13:25 Thomas: Yeah. Oh boy. Jesus. Just keeps asking that one over and over. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

0:13:25 Tom: Thong yeah

0:13:25 Eli: The right people or the wrong people? Because we got clips where it looks like either one wins. It's up to you. You racist? You watch this racist video, I'll show you another chick and a thong.

0:13:40 Thomas: Oh Boy. This is why we're being rude. Anyway. Oh yeah. Sorry.

0:13:40 Eli: You give me something, I give you something.

0:13:44 Eli: You want to get on to Gluck Talk?

0:13:44 Thomas: I have to talk. That's why, that's why he hasn't stopped. I was supposed to say something. Sorry I saw these these videos that I thought were delightful and funny. And then I started thinking about them. I was like, yes, they're comedy videos, but I do feel like there's a element of truth to them that I wanted to discuss with you gents about masculinity because I don't know too much about it, but it seems like this guy and maybe his straight like brothers or something. He has, there's two different straight guys. It's a, it's a gay man and then the straight brothers and his whole shtick is like, teach me how to do something straight, you know? And he's very flamboyantly gay in a kind of a stereotypical way that it's probably played up for comedy, but it's still very delightful and charming. I laugh at these quite a bit. I think they're great. But it was interesting because it'll be like, oh, teach me how to like say hi like a straight guy or something or knock on the door and say hi or something like that. And of course, he will do it his flamboyant way for comedy and for maybe that's genuinely how he is one way or the other. And then the straight guy, and it's interesting when you notice the pattern, we just think about it. Everything with the straight Guy version of doing stuff is just really kind of soul crushing it's just like you know the straight guy's version of waiting for somebody or something was one of them and he's like yeah you just don't just sit here and just don t do anything you know it's like it's all it's very much yeah yeah yeah no waving high enthusiastically and after a while I was like yes this is comedy but also it's kind of bumming me out it's sort of true that a lot of like being a straight dude in society at least it seems to me that's why I want to run it by you guys. But it does seem like a lot of it is just killing your enthusiasm. You know, like every single different action, it was like, don't do that enthusiastically. It feels like it sort of boils down to. And I was just wondering if you thought there was any truth to that or if you think it's just kind of a comedy thing. What do you think?

0:14:57 Tom: No facial expressions no acknowledging people around you

0:15:33 Eli: It's weird because it's this weird balance between stoicism and rage, right? It's like, don't show any emotions unless it's this one absolutely terrible emotion that makes It makes the world worse in every demonstrable way. That's the one emotion that you should show at all times, and you are heroic if you do it.

0:15:53 Tom: I was wondering when I was watching because we talked about this like in our group chat and I was was wondering if like that sort of performative aloofness is like a portrayal like some kind of like weird signaling of of like independence it's like I'm so aloof I'm så disconnected I don't need to be you know that is how you know I am a fully independent entirely walled

0:16:17 Thomas: Yeah, actually, I want you something.

0:16:17 Tom: Off you know this man as an island you

0:16:20 Thomas: One of them is I just want to do something right now. Now, everybody engaged in a mental experiment with me, I guess all straight dudes or straightish enough.

0:16:27 Eli: You hear that, women? Turn off the fucking pod.

0:16:30 Tom: Know I mean

0:16:30 Thomas: Yeah. If you were like going to wave at a friend at a distance and there's the kind of the way that this guy does it, that again, I don't know if he's playing it up or not. Either way, he's very, well, you've recognized him and he's trying to find you.

0:16:41 Tom: I would send him a text message but just

0:16:45 Thomas: You've sent the text that's like, hey, I'm over here and he is trying to actually see you.

0:16:46 Eli: I'm right behind you.

0:16:49 Thomas: And then like there's the way that this guy does it which is waving enthusiastically hi really excited kind of bouncy you know kind of thing and then why is it like if you run that through run that you know experiment through your mind straight dudes why is that it has to be like yo hey you know like it like why would you feel weird because it does feel weird I think to me at least if you were to do like a big wave thing in that way that we typically associate with like being gay or or something like that. Why is that weird? Like, why is that the stereotype? It's really interesting.

0:16:50 Eli: Can't lift my arms.

0:16:52 Tom: Hit

0:17:22 Eli: Yeah.

0:17:23 Tom: Hit the nail on the head that there is a like a like it's weird to be too enthusiastic like you cannot want the company of other people you know like not that much you know like even the people that you've like expressly like gone out of your way to like make plans And like, you're sick. Okay. Well, what if he, what, if he knows that I'm happy to see him, then like, maybe he'll know I'm too happy to See him. Then I'll want to suck my dick or whatever.

0:17:31 Thomas: Yeah. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah.

0:17:47 Tom: Like, like that's insane. Like that is absolutely insane. And I, I do think at least to some degree, this is very generational. I think this is really, really generational. I don't see that same nonsense with younger people. I don' t see that same concern. I do' n't see the same worry. Honestly, I do not really remember that to the same degree when I was a younger person. When I was young, I was unabashedly excited to see people. Then I think as you get older too, there is this idea that you have matured away from a certain amount of enthusiasm or visible excitement that it's like not really adult to be like excited about things in front of other people you know like you don't want you got to always kind of hold back a little bit make sure everybody knows that you're a grown -up you've got your shit on lock you're mature you are not excited about

0:17:57 Thomas: Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird.

0:18:43 Tom: Anything and like I don't know what that is because I don'T think that that was the case when I was a younger person I know it wasn't and I see my kids and that is not the case for my kids at all none of them even like the boys 19 and 20 year old boys they are very happy to be enthusiastic

0:18:58 Eli: They also haven't been disappointed by most of the people in their life yet, and I think that's a really formative experience, right, is that everybody turns out to be sort of a selfish flesh golem who you have to manipulate into the most human version of themselves at all times. And that can be a little tiring.

0:19:12 Tom: Don't really yeah do

0:19:12 Thomas: Eli, your psychopathy is showing again. Don't do it.

0:19:22 Eli: Ah, damn it. I mean, bazinga.

0:19:25 Thomas: Psst.

0:19:25 Eli: What's my game? Shit.

0:19:26 Tom: Tell I think of the same that level of like excitement but I will say like that like adult containment is way more, I'm just thinking of professional environments. It is way more male than female. So like in July, every, everybody knows this every, every July I got to go do this golfing thing for my work. Like it's a professional environment. Like it's everybody is there for work, but like, we're doing like fun things like golf, et cetera. And like the women that don't see each other very often that have like work work friendships we'll like smile big smiles and like give each other a big effusive hug I'm like oh my god I haven't seen you in like two years how have you been they're like unabashedly excited to see each other and like the guys all just walk up and shake hands like we're just like oh hey what's going on greg nice to see you buddy how you been you know great suit you know and it's not like that weird like it's not super toned down like I'll give some credit people will like compliment each other like oh it's great shoot you know Great Great suit you look great you know know how you've been good nice to see you but there is like a calming down that's different from like men to women for sure yeah

0:20:18 Eli: What's going on? Oh, yeah. Hey, this is a crazy question because I think I know the answer and I think it's crazy that the thought came into my head. Do the lady people golf too?

0:20:39 Thomas: Here we go.

0:20:44 Tom: About half to three quarters of them do yeah uh

0:20:45 Thomas: They don't employ women at Tom's company.

0:20:46 Eli: They're allowed. What do the other half do?

0:20:49 Thomas: They get fired.

0:20:50 Eli: And are the guys allowed I would love to go to the spa

0:20:50 Tom: They'll go to the spa so last year yeah yo so it was great when I broke my neck last

0:20:57 Thomas: Oh, you had an excuse to not golf.

0:20:57 Tom: Year because I couldn't golf I got like three massages over the course of two days it was awesome

0:21:01 Thomas: Oh, my God. Cut to Tom breaking his neck every fucking year. Oh, weird. July's rolling around. Tom's broken his neck again.

0:21:08 Eli: Who's that coming

0:21:05 Tom: Something it's so funny because I just like just this last week I got the I got the invite for this actually and I have to fill out the thing about what I'm gonna do and how many because they have to account for everybody on the course or you know the spa or whatever and I was like I'll be golfing click I'll make no no they ask about it and I don't I forget to lie you know I'm bad about that kind of

0:21:23 Thomas: No, you could have said my neck is still. Yeah. They make you send in your medical records. It's like Tom Conchie is just objecting. He's like cutting his finger off and shit to try to get out.

0:21:24 Eli: Up no they'll fire him show us the x -ray yeah okay the next broken again gun

0:21:36 Tom: Thing so I'm like oh no yeah so yeah but honestly it was the best year ever because I just like I went I got like just spa treatments for two days like when I wasn't doing work stuff I'm this is great like this is awesome I like this way better so but yeah this year I'll be uh I'll b eli wait a minute hold on a second didn't you go golfing recently oh my god I saw this from from the chat I saw this in the group chat I cannot believe this is not the first and only thing I asked about please put the rest of the show on hold eli bosnick tell me about this this is all I care about right

0:21:42 Eli: I went golfing yes I told you guys this on the

0:22:03 Thomas: Wait, wait, wait. Wait, what? Why did you go golfing?

0:22:11 Thomas: Yeah, I totally forgot. Sure. Why didyou go golf?

0:22:17 Eli: Chat so buddy of mine had a birthday and he was like hey man I really want you to come to my

0:22:22 Thomas: I could make you golf for my birthday, maybe.

0:22:25 Tom: Now thomas I love you you commented on this in the thread by the way if you go back and find this yeah

0:22:28 Eli: Birthday yeah

0:22:28 Thomas: Oh, no, I did. I still I know. No, I wasn't surprised by that. First off, the audience is not in our thread. So I try to present that, you know, we're doing a show. Secondly, I sort of thought Eli was joking. Like, I actually, I still don't, you know what I mean? Like, do you, I didn't actually believe that he golfed. Yeah.

0:22:39 Tom: All that matters right now is eli on the golf course is all I care about right now.

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0:22:56 Eli: No so my buddy was like hey man um we're golfing for my birthday and I'd really love you to be there I want you to meet my friends my brother's coming from out of town who you've met we golf we take it serious

0:23:07 Tom: Oh, they take it serious. Oh.

0:23:07 Thomas: And you take it serious and they want to, why would they ask you?

0:23:10 Eli: Come golf with us

0:23:10 Tom: And they take it serious when we take it serious.

0:23:10 Thomas: Why would they asked you if they take it seriously? Wow.

0:23:13 Eli: And I hate a moment where I have to be a human being so I sort of took off all my masks and then you know moved to the dead body underneath and I I was like, Hey, um, I think I'm probably pretty bad at it and I'll slow you down. And he was like oh, that's not a problem. People just play through. And I was, like, I don't know what that means. And he, was, the point is people aren't great golfers at this thing. We're all just going to have a good time. But, like I want you to be there and I want, you to golf with us. I don ,t want you, to do the thing.

0:23:38 Thomas: Jesus.

0:23:38 Eli: And I, was like okay. And he ,was, like because we're going to burp to burr. And I ,was ,like I don ,know what that is. And he .was ,like it's a very, very fancy golf course in Atlantic City. And I .was , like man Atlantic City is, like six hours away. And he. Like it sure is. So we drive down to Atlantic city. We go to this very, very fancy golf course. Our tea time, our tea time is 9am.

0:24:01 Thomas: Wow. That's a really good one. Cause the fancy courses you usually have to like pay or get in advance to like get that kind of a good tee time.

0:24:10 Eli: No. This is a fancy. So sorry. I should explain. This friend is very rich. This friend has extremely rich tea times.

0:24:14 Thomas: That's what I'm saying. That's a heck of a tea time. Yeah.

0:24:18 Eli: 9am everyone has a caddy me me included like a guy

0:24:22 Tom: Oh, like a person caddy.

0:24:24 Thomas: Here's a question. Is it a course where you're required to have a caddy? Is it that fancy?

0:24:29 Eli: Uh I don't know they gave me one I don' t I didn't try to do I didn' t try to dismiss him I I assumed that if I said you can't they would kill him that's what I assumed there was a

0:24:31 Thomas: Yeah, it might have been. Wow.

0:24:33 Tom: Did you get to keep them later? Is it like it's like

0:24:35 Thomas: Can you tell me the name of this course?

0:24:42 Thomas: I think the only difference I'm trying to get at is if your rich friend like arranged that or if it's like, well, as part of the course, you got to do this kind of thing. Okay. All right. So I'm just wondering. Is it one of Trump's courses?

0:24:49 Eli: Big uh I was trying to look up the name of the course yeah mar -a -lago no

0:24:57 Tom: Mar -a

0:24:58 Thomas: Yeah. Doral or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, that's all right.

0:25:01 Eli: It's it was it was a nice one and I don't fucking know. And so we, we get a caddy and I was like, Oh, I don'T HAVE ANY CLUBS. I 'LL JUST GO HANG OUT IN THE HOUSE. And they were like, we got you clubs. And I was like, ah, fucking damn it. And THEY WERE LIKE, DON'T WORRY. THIS GUY IS ALSO A TEACHER. And I WAS LIKE, WHAT?

0:25:19 Eli: And they WERE like, yeah, your caddy is also one of our instructors. So he'S basically going to teach you the basics of golf. Uh, and he WAS LIKE SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. IT MEANS I GET TO PLAY AROUND WITH YOU GUYS. And EVERYBODY LAUGHS. AND I WAS I was like, ha ha ha, whatever that means. Fuck yeah. We'll kill it, right? I don't know. I don' t know. But he's an older guy. The other thing is, too, when someone's older than me in a servant role, and they don't like it when you say that,

0:25:19 Thomas: Oh, what the fuck is happening right now? Yeah.

0:25:46 Tom: -Lago servant rule.

0:25:46 Eli: But Caddy feels servant. And there's nothing you can say. So when there's a guy who's older that me in servant role I feel bad. And so he was like yeah, don't worry man, I'm going to walk you through everything. Thing and can I say it was lovely everyone got a cart we all got a car and I knew that uh -huh cart and a caddy and they had pre -set all the food and snacks and stuff there was like a roaming charcuterie

0:25:58 Thomas: Me too.

0:26:06 Tom: You got your own cart

0:26:05 Thomas: Oh, a cart with a caddy. Okay. Sorry, what were the caddies doing? Because the caddy carries your clubs. That's why you have a caddie. They could yeah but but I mean but yeah that's the pros I mean like why did okay never mind I'm sorry I'm getting too into golf here yeah okay so they drive you around there you have a chauffeur got it yeah

0:26:19 Eli: Mm -hmm yeah he helped me pick the clubs

0:26:21 Tom: Well they help you pick the club right so you don't

0:26:28 Eli: I don't fucking know he was standing well he drove the cart to be fair he drove it he drove as a little uh -uh yeah because cause I was eating and everyone else to be fair. Yeah.

0:26:36 Tom: And I'm sure he helped you figure out what they because if he's like a pro and he's giving you tips he's like okay use the fucking seven of hearts or whatever

0:26:41 Eli: Everyone else to be clear was also drinking and

0:26:43 Thomas: Yeah but what yeah but once you see eli hit once it's gonna be like use any club it doesn't matter like literally doesn't matter.

0:26:48 Tom: Yeah how'd you do how was it wait a it did you hate

0:26:48 Eli: Do whatever the fuck you want. It was fine. It Was fine. So he was like, okay, so you like know nothing about golf. And I was like I think I've swung a golf club not at someone's head twice in my life and he was Like got it. Why did you swing a golf club at someone said and I was Like another day my friend and so we we talked through it and then he taught me to drive which was actually surprisingly fun once I got it he was like hey they're gonna go play the first couple of holes don't fucking worry about that they're going to take their time they're to play the game of golf which is actually pretty slow you come with me we're gonna learn how to drive and I was like oh all right are we gonna fuck and we didn't fuck he did yeah he he taught me how to driving drove the thing and he was all right we'll do the thing he was let me let me call us ahead see who's playing ahead of you because I don't want you to have to join the guys right away let me see if anyone's there he was

0:27:23 Thomas: Oh, that sounds fucking awesome. I would love this. Why do you, this golf is wasted on you two fucking assholes. God damn it. I love to golf. Never have time. This, this person rules.

0:27:43 Eli: Like there's a team there and we'll we'll see if they you can join them so we walk up and there are a bunch of people everybody knows him and I'm like this is weird why does everybody know my servant that's my it's my servant don't know him turns out he's a former professional golfer like a pretty well -known one and when they said he was the course pro I just thought they meant like yeah

0:27:57 Thomas: Oh my God. It's Fred couples. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh no. Yeah that means an actual pro.

0:28:12 Eli: I thought that just was like he's the pro you know like when when you say like he'S a real pro

0:28:17 Tom: It that's awesome

0:28:15 Thomas: No, you got You were golfing with the pro of the course that's a fancy course? What the fuck is happening? Who is this friend of yours? God damn it.

0:28:23 Tom: I love that this is like such a like a loved like thomas is just fucking having a fit about how much he would love to do this right

0:28:31 Thomas: It's not even easy to get to golf with the bro of a course of a shitty course. It's like probably going to cost you money. Well, quite a bit of money. For a course like that? What was his name? Who is it?

0:28:42 Eli: Fucking I try to remember he entered

0:28:44 Thomas: You never learn the name of the help. I get it.

0:28:46 Eli: So he introduced himself at the beginning and I was like oh yeah and then it flew away and I Was like fuck and so I just kept being like what's up king what's

0:28:53 Thomas: God damnit. How old are we talking? What age range? It could have been Fred Couples. I said Fred Couple. It might have been Fed Couple!

0:28:56 Tom: Now oh my god

0:28:56 Eli: A big dog 60s might have been Fred Couples he was very very cool. He was a cool dude. And so he was like, this is my friend Eli. He's going to play with us. He's just doing his first drive on a professional cars. And everybody's like, well, you picked the right course to do it.

0:29:02 Tom: I don't know fred

0:29:02 Thomas: No not really but now you'd remember if it's what the fuck dude yeah

0:29:13 Eli: And everyone's like do you know what course you're on? And I was like I have no idea where I am. I'm exhausted. I can't.

0:29:13 Thomas: I you were like no I won't even be able to say it to my golf loving friend later fuck you asshole

0:29:20 Eli: I don't remember it. And then I'm going to text my friend at the beginning of the podcast. He is not going to respond to tell me what course he was on. God damn it. So I was was like okay shoot the thing I hit the ball and it actually goes good it went out into the golf course and everybody yeah

0:29:20 Tom: Couples really oh you're a million times better than I

0:29:38 Thomas: That's awesome well you have like a pga golfer helping you that's awesome

0:29:43 Eli: And everybody was like hey that's a fucking hell of a drive for your first time they were like you should really take this up and so I didn't know there was food and drinks yet and I was like all right cool so he's like now we go drive to your ball and then we'll catch up with our friends and I was like yeah I should probably catch up with my friend it's his birthday he was like yeah you're probably hungry too right and I was like, what? So I get there and there's a lunch buffet halfway on the course.

0:30:05 Thomas: What okay that's not normal that's not normal yeah

0:30:09 Tom: Am okay I've I thought I went to some okay nice courses like that

0:30:13 Thomas: This is yeah I don't know what the fuck who's your fucking friend Elon Musk or something? Yeah.

0:30:13 Tom: Is ridiculous you

0:30:17 Eli: So it's Elon Musk. It's my close personal friend, Elon Musk. So we go, we get about halfway there and he's like, yeah, no, they're about to eat. And they have set up a tent to the side of the course and there is like a big dining room table and a buffet and my buddies are already eating and drinking and we sit down and we eat and okay

0:30:24 Thomas: What? What the fuck is happening? What? Like the third hole? That's not golf. That's actually not. So just so you know, that's not a golf thing at all. I don't know what the fuck that is. I've never heard of that. Yeah.

0:30:41 Tom: Had a sit down lunch in the middle of like the third hole

0:30:48 Eli: I have no idea what anything is and I was like fuck I would call favorite so I was literally about to say if someone had told me you get lunch whatever percentage of the way through I'd have fucking been in it's good so then

0:30:59 Thomas: You don't. Yeah

0:31:01 Tom: No you just get a sunburn that's all you get is a

0:31:02 Eli: So then they're like hey we're doing a little bit of the pro tourney here the something something cup do Do you guys want to come watch? And I'm like, other people golfing that isn't me, except for that one hit I did that's good. Let's do it. We drive. They take us to this thing. There's security.

0:31:10 Thomas: Oh fuck you.

0:31:24 Eli: All of a sudden, there's security, and my guy, the pro, is like, hey, they're with me, and they're like, oh, okay.

0:31:19 Thomas: What is happening. Yeah Jesus fucking Christ.

0:31:31 Tom: Sunburnt I don't count all I love is how much this hurts you, Thomas, that's I

0:31:34 Eli: We drive, who

0:31:37 Thomas: What I just love that he doesn't even know any of what it is. I'm so this is, so this wasn't, we're going to play golf. This is like some sort of like event thing that's happening. Is this like fantasy camp for golf? Like you go and play before the tournament. Yeah.

0:31:47 Eli: Fucking knows? Again as far as I know is for golf yeah jack nicholas comes out and he's like, I'm your dad now yeah so we go and they drive us okay the way I can describe it is they're on one side is the audience to the golf and a bunch of cameras and everyone's watching the golf and he drives us to the other side where I think the fucking golfers are because there's like four people. And he introduces us around and my friends are all very excited. They're all like, oh my God, it's so nice to meet you. And I'm like, what's up? You look like me. We're in about the same physical shape. Nice to meet ya.

0:32:15 Thomas: Oh, my fucking God.

0:32:28 Tom: Love hello we're all athletes

0:32:30 Thomas: Wow, there's, there are no golfers like that. So nevermind, this is a trick. Golfers are like ripped now.

0:32:35 Eli: Oh, are they? Not my golfers.

0:32:36 Thomas: They're, they work out really really hard. The best ones are like pretty, pretty, uh, pretty good athletes now. So maybe, was it a senior event? Not like, like actually it could have been a senior PGA event. Yeah, that might've been it.

0:32:40 Eli: Well, I did not get the best golfers, let me tell you that.

0:32:46 Eli: Fuck if I know. Literally fuck if I know. But he keeps introducing himself as my caddy and everybody keeps being like, ha ha ha, Ah, you got quite a caddy there. And I'm like, I don't fucking think this guy, maybe people just really like him. He drops the quarter real good or something. So we, we, I dunno. I have no idea why they're wasting it. So we play for the afternoon. We eat, we drink. There's, okay. Are there bar stops? Okay.

0:32:54 Thomas: Yeah. You fucking asshole. Why did they waste this on you? Why? Oh my God.

0:33:06 Tom: Here I love that this is wasted on you so much this is my favorite thing in the world

0:33:16 Thomas: No, there's normal golf. Okay. Normal golf. There's a cart lady. Yeah? There's a girl who drives a cart around and she gets sexually harassed and then they tip her and then you buy beers and then

0:33:17 Tom: Bar stops no there's usually a girl driving a car around yeah

0:33:27 Thomas: Somebody drinks too many beers and it's fucking weird and annoying. And then another guy, they drink so many and then they try to get you to drink beers. But you're like, I will pass out if I drink five beers in the middle of the 100 degree California heat. What are you doing? And then that's golf.

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0:33:49 Eli: Okay our course had carts that people drove around but they were like bars like little mini

0:33:56 Thomas: Well, it is kind of that.

0:33:57 Eli: Bars yeah okay cool yeah

0:33:57 Thomas: Yeah, yeah. But there's like one of those, but it's probably not as fancy as whatever you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. What a faux pas. Yeah?

0:33:57 Tom: Yeah it is yeah yeah

0:34:02 Eli: Nobody's actually harassed any of the people who came by I felt maybe I should have maybe that was rude like you're supposed to tip bellboys right and she was driving away she was like gay they sent me next to a guy one next and they were like okay fucking grab his

0:34:14 Thomas: Links it back to the topic of the show.

0:34:19 Eli: Ass he's trying to do some golf here but we did we did that and they kept making me virgin shirley temples and what was crazy I wanted to know if this was a thing apparently no you can get a dirty shirly get a derly shirling is everyone in the next cart knew my

0:34:28 Tom: Is it aren't all Shirley Temples virgin? I sure

0:34:28 Thomas: My fucking god yeah what

0:34:36 Eli: Order so they'd be like you're my shirle temple and I'd be like what do you mean you're my why what communication system are you using

0:34:43 Tom: Am

0:34:43 Thomas: This is wow that is extremely fancy stuff that's uh and it also it would stick out that you're the one asshole who's being you but but yes

0:34:53 Eli: I was being the Shirley Temple guy and so we drove we finished the golf. They kept score. I hit the ball. And then he would, can I say something to my non-sportos who are listening to this, who might consider golfing sometime? Golf is really fun. And I will tell you why. Golf is unlike any other sport. Whenever I've tried other sports, I've been like, and they've been like, oh man, you're bad at that. And I've been, like, okay, well, how do I get better? And they're, like fucking start when you were three idiot. And so I'm just like, oh, I'm sorry. And they're like, yeah, maybe something naturally about you is less masculine or broken. And I'm like, Oh, that's crazy. It's crazy that that's sort of the universally agreed problem. And with golf, they're, like, uh-uh, your elbow went too far forward. And you're, like, I can keep my elbow back. And it works every time.

0:35:35 Thomas: Oh man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah for,

0:35:46 Eli: Every time if you do the thing. Something else goes wrong. But it's a correction thing, right? It doesn't feel like sports in that you're not just bad at golf. You see the way in which you get good at golf, maybe I'm a natural gifted golfer.

0:35:46 Thomas: For about five swings and then something else goes wrong. And yeah, no, that is kind of why everybody golfs.

0:35:58 Tom: Yeah no hard pass yeah no dis strong disagree

0:35:59 Thomas: Well, there are plenty of people who are just bad at golf, but yeah, you might be a natural man, but usually what happens with golf is everybody like thinks they fix their swing and then two swings later, it sucks again. And, you know, it's like this constant process of like trying to fix your swing and then thinking, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Fucking rules. You had the most, you had like someone died and gone to heaven for a golf experience. And you're like, yeah you know? I can see golfing. You had like some, so your friend is like, dude, if you go to real golf, you're going to be like, what was happening? Happening like there's no this is this was a some sort of event happening where they did like a fantasy camp for adults or your friend is so rich that they're this is like beyond rich I don't even know what this would be if this was personal sure

0:36:15 Eli: Yeah, exactly, I was trying to fix it and doing the thing, but it was fun. It was never like, oh man, you suck at golf! It was like, the second time I golf, I'm going to have real golf and I'm gonna be like, this fucking sucks!

0:36:28 Tom: I love this so

0:36:49 Eli: Okay, well, so here's the wrapper of the thing. So we go back to the clubhouse and they bring us upstairs and they're like, do you want to check out the trophy room? And I'm like, yeah, I like big, shiny fucking trophies. Why not? I'll take a look at them. And they show me now I have I have to clarify because we on this podcast are aware that he was a professional golfer, that he was a pro in the, I still don't know. I was like, everybody loves my caddy. He's a cool dude with sick connections that gets me into that side of the golf tournament as opposed to this one. But I have no reason to believe that my golf caddy is a professional golfer. And so they show me, first of all, golf trophies are fucking huge.

0:37:14 Thomas: You still didn't know it this time oh wow well yeah

0:37:37 Eli: I, they're giant and they're, the room is full of them, right? Right. I'm expecting like six trophies and for them to be like the fucking gobble gobble cup was here. There's like dozens, dozens, multiple dozens of trophies here. And they bring me over to this thing and they're like, these are all of his.

0:37:37 Tom: Much of your caddies god damn I know I know you could get a caddy a trophy for being a caddie he must be really good at it

0:37:54 Thomas: Jesus fucking Christ, yeah best caddy it's a guy carrying the bag oh my god and he probably thought it was the funniest thing he's ever

0:37:59 Eli: And I go, OK, Tom, you joke. That's literally what I said. I said, for being a caddy. He did. He laughed his ass off. He was like, yep. And I won all these trophies for being the caddy, really good caddy. And I was like yeah yeah

0:38:13 Tom: I'm an amazing caddy I love it

0:38:13 Thomas: My god that must have been so was so was there laughter the whole time you were there

0:38:22 Tom: Just follows eli around though yeah

0:38:22 Thomas: Because like this was like a bit like they set up a and it's not like personal to you it's like set up the bit of imagine the person who doesn't know shit about this getting the best golf experience with a professional being his caddy was this a reality show it was like a prank show because it's like that level of thing that just happened to you yeah actually for real but did you sign a release after

0:38:40 Tom: Did somebody jump out with a hidden camera you had a good

0:38:44 Eli: That's maybe that's what it was anyways so we had a fucking great time

0:38:50 Tom: Time yeah and if golf was an ultra luxury professionally adjacent Jason. Yeah.

0:38:50 Eli: And then everybody took pictures with my caddy and as everyone is lining up to take pictures with my caddy I'm like I think that guy's more than just a caddy. I think he might have done some actual golfing and maybe I thought he was just a really, and it was like, I was living in a, you know how there's that moment in a thriller where like all the pieces come together? For me, all the pieces of the movie and all the places come together where everyone was being really nice. Because the thing I kept thinking over and over again, I was like I'm going to talk to the boys about this, is like people actually treat caddies really well. I always imagine people treating caddies kind of badly, but everyone's like super respectful and really nice like treating the caddies really well and I realized now that I was probably with a

0:39:09 Tom: Oh, my God. It's fucking great.

0:39:12 Thomas: Bet oh wow oh my God, no oh

0:39:42 Eli: Famous person who I just didn't recognize at all okay

0:39:43 Thomas: My fucking God, Jesus Christ Why did we? Yeah we should have just done that as the episode, but yeah, sure. Fucking A. What is the name of any of that?

0:39:51 Tom: Oh my you Got to figure out where you went, man

0:39:56 Thomas: So you're saying it was in Atlantic City? There's nothing in Atlantic city. What the hell? Was it in Atlantic City or near?

0:40:01 Eli: So I don't fucking know. I have an answer. Are you gentlemen ready and I have the name of my caddy too which is very exciting all right so the Atlantic City Country Club in northfield is where we were

0:40:06 Thomas: Oh yeah. Okay. Oh God. Here we go.

0:40:15 Thomas: Oh, Atlantic City Country Club. Okay, so it's a private course. Yeah. Private as hell. Rich people course. Barry.

0:40:21 Eli: Yeah and the guy barry I remembered his name actually was Barry E. Shoewalter, PGA yeah s

0:40:29 Thomas: Barry E. Shoewalter. Okay. I don't know that one. I don't know. Shoo Walter or show Walter. Oh.

0:40:38 Eli: -h -e -w -a -l -t -e r

0:40:41 Thomas: Okay. Well, at least I've never heard of that guy. So that makes me feel better. And I've watched a lot of golf. I don't know who that is.

0:40:47 Eli: Well uh he was very nice he's a cool

0:40:48 Thomas: That literally, like Google doesn't, that's like doesn't exist. Is somebody pranking you? What? Yeah. Why the fuck is that not coming up?

0:40:52 Eli: Dude, nice. Maybe that's what he said—Barry Show

0:40:55 Tom: Huh like he shows up on linkedin Atlantic City Country Club pga professional golf management northfield new

0:41:01 Eli: Walter, yeah, and he was a bartender at Chickie and Pete's apparently no

0:41:06 Tom: Jersey. Now what needs to happen: all I care about now and I need this to happen. I need you to go and have a regular golf experience so you can feel like an absolute crazy person like on the third hole looking for a charcuterie board or

0:41:17 Eli: This sounds terrible I was so ready until this podcast to tell you guys like hey and I want to say I was wrong about golfing but it turns out I was right about golfing sucks

0:41:37 Thomas: This is, sorry, I'm just trying to look this up now because I don't know who this is.

0:41:40 Eli: I don't know but he was cool and so was his club if you see Barry tell him I said hi he did say he was gonna listen to my podcast and I told him not to. I was like, Barry, don't do that to you and he was like Ah, I swear like a sailor too and I was like man I cannot describe to you that that is not what it is

0:41:45 Tom: Whatever oh my

0:41:49 Thomas: Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa. You golfed, you golfed at Atlantic City Country Club is a historically significant course established in 1897 and often marketed as the birthplace of the birdie. Huh? Okay. This must be a very, very, uh, legendary course here. Wow.

0:42:02 Tom: God

0:42:15 Thomas: This is crazy.

0:42:10 Eli: Barry, yeah, I

0:42:15 Tom: Huh Good for you though

0:42:18 Thomas: Yeah. So what'd you shoot?

0:42:18 Tom: Man, like, hell yeah, hell yeah did you even keep score nah fuck keeping

0:42:23 Eli: Did not keep score I said, like don't I keep score? And he was like don't keep score you're gonna ruin your time just like don't worry about it just hit the ball we'll talk about how you can do better and then he was like you should really keep this up and I was like never again, Barry goodbye forever please don't listen to my podcast I'm sorry. I thought you were a servant you're supposed to tip him, right? You're supposed to tip him God damn it! Ah

0:42:28 Tom: Score

0:42:29 Thomas: Yeah, no, no. It's not. You shouldn't keep starting that.

0:42:38 Thomas: Wow, huh? That is so fucking funny. You wouldn't tip the course pro.

0:42:49 Tom: Yeah, you don't tip the course

0:42:51 Thomas: I mean, I look in that situation. I wouldn't think so, but that's just me. I don't know. Okay. What was his reaction?

0:42:55 Eli: I tipped him a hundred bucks I could. I didn't. I had no fucking idea uh very polite but he was

0:43:02 Tom: Pro did he wipe his ass with it in front of you or yeah, right?

0:43:03 Eli: Classy. He's a classy dude he could have maybe he did but Barry was awesome I love you, Barry if you're listening

0:43:08 Thomas: Okay. So he wasn't actually a pro. He is a pro, but he wasn't like a PGA Tour player. I'm seeing. Okay. Okay. That's weird. It must be like course championships or something because I'm looking everywhere and he's, yeah, Yeah.

0:43:13 Eli: I don't fucking know he had a bunch of trophies if he wasn't a pro he had a bunch of fucking

0:43:22 Tom: Well, I'll tell you what I learned as an adult that you can just go to the store and buy a

0:43:27 Thomas: Buy trophies. Yeah.

0:43:26 Eli: Trophies god what a weird entrapment that would have been if that just at the end they bring you to a room

0:43:27 Tom: Trophy like that I'll say what like I was like maybe 30 when I figured out that you could just buy a Trophy nobody checks to see if you earned a trophy for anything they just sell trophies, because that's the things you buy. And I was like, I should get a trophy for something. I've never had one, and I'm going to want one.

0:43:50 Eli: I'll get you a trophy

0:43:50 Tom: So I was, I'm buying myself a fucking trophy.

0:43:53 Clip: DEAR OLD DAD

0:43:59 Eli: All right, gentlemen, before we go, I've decided to quit my job as a professional trainer because the weights are too heavy, so I handed in my two-week notice.

0:44:13 Thomas: I love that.

0:44:59 Eli: He's like, fish! You racist?

0:45:05 Thomas: Eli, your psychopathy is showing again. Don't do it.

0:45:09 Tom: It was great when I broke my neck last year.

0:45:12 Thomas: Sorry about your dick.

0:45:14 Eli: You racist?!