DOD248: WTF is the Nude Lingerie Test

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:28 Tom: Welcome to Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's neither boxers nor briefs. I'm Tom Curry. I am joined, as always, by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen.

0:00:33 Thomas: Oh, man. Okay. Have we had the Boxer Briefs discussion? Have we had that discussion?

0:00:45 Tom: I don't think that we have had that discussion.

0:00:46 Thomas: Oh, wow. Because that is one of the places where I have had the biggest change of mind. Wait, no. I feel like we did, no? Because this is nowhere, like literally me going from conservative to progressive was not as big a change as this change.

0:00:46 Eli: No,

0:00:53 Tom: No, no, no.

0:01:03 Thomas: I grew up and my whole, into my 30s probably, or like right around 30, lower 30s, where I couldn't have imagined there's any other answer besides boxer briefs ever. And then one day, yeah, except not. No.

0:01:14 Eli: That is the only answer. What's happening?

0:01:14 Tom: That is the only answer. That's the only an - What is happening right now that you're going to posit?

0:01:18 Eli: Wait, here's the only thing you're allowed to advocate for, which is I keep a dildo up my ass all the time and boxer briefs make that less comfortable. If you're about to advocate for literally any other kind of underwear, this is the episode that turns. Okay.

0:01:32 Thomas: Nah.

0:01:26 Tom: It's boxer briefs! What is - What's about to happen?

0:01:33 Thomas: Telling you, dude, it's briefs. It's brief. Yeah, it is.

0:01:35 Eli: Oh God, no, not brief.

0:01:35 Tom: What is happening? What? I can't unknow this. I cannot unknow this.

0:01:39 Eli: I was praying to the sweet Lord Jesus above that it was

0:01:40 Thomas: It is. It's the best.

0:01:43 Tom: No.

0:01:43 Eli: At least boxers.

0:01:44 Thomas: No, boxers are stupid.

0:01:45 Tom: What?

0:01:46 Thomas: Boxers are like this super loose, crazy Fabric the stuff that's now boxers suck.

0:01:50 Tom: Boxers I don't understand at all. Why are you wearing underwear?

0:01:53 Eli: Just put your cock in a cage. Don't bring your underwear into it.

0:01:57 Thomas: Here's the key when we grew up in the 90s shorts. They were huge. You could fit a car in your shorts. Now the stylish shorts are really small. They're really fucking small, and I don't know, maybe the problem is that, you know, you guys aren't packing, because I can't fit everything I need to fit in these tiny fucking shorts that everybody wears now. And so one day,

0:01:58 Tom: What fucking shorts are you wearing? Fucking hoochie daddies?

0:02:20 Thomas: They're tiny now Now,

0:02:22 Eli: Don't wear the shorts, you fucking beachside twink.

0:02:22 Thomas: Normal shorts are tiny now.

0:02:24 Tom: What is the inseam on your shorts, or like, what is the dong you're carrying that you can't, like, what is happening that you're poking out the bottom of your shorts in boxer briefs? Boxer briefs have some support, the

0:02:30 Thomas: No,

0:02:33 Eli: Shorts aren't for us, Thomas.

0:02:34 Thomas: You're not poking out the bottom. They're just bunched up and fucking annoying. You need the freedom. You need to freedom.

0:02:40 Tom: Freedom of briefs. Briefs don't offer any

0:02:42 Thomas: And here's the thing. Boxer briefs, the little cutlets at the bottom of the briefs. They're all they've done is added a modesty bit of fabric because straight dudes are afraid of being gay. That's all the boxer brief is. They added a bit of modesty fabric so that you won't feel like you're going to get made of fun of for being gay, that's all that is.

0:03:00 Eli: So I won't feel like a fucking deep sea creature has my gonk in its mouth all day long. So that every time I drop my trousers, it's not a chemical attack on the Syrian people.

0:03:05 Tom: Freedom, what

0:03:13 Thomas: The boxer brief is the same part, except they just added the cutlets on the bottom. That's all.

0:03:18 Eli: The cutlets is everything. The cutelets gives the air that you so desperately need.

0:03:23 Tom: All right, I am fully converted, not just to boxer briefs but to the boxer briefς that have, like, a separation that, like, separate your junk from your legs so that you're not walking around chafing all the time. That's the, the only way to go.

0:03:30 Eli: Of course, yes of course, yes I am takeless. I am take. I was like, we're gonna spend four seconds on this because I'm gonna say, yeah, this is the whole show whatever else we had to talk about is gone. We were gonna spend 4 seconds. I was gonna say, anybody who's into briefs, they just haven't experienced boxer briefs. The idea, I mean, look, I know the tragedy that Thomas went through, which is he saw some fucking power bottom on Venice Beach with shorts just under his fucking in labia majora, and Thomas was like, well, I guess that's what all the kids are wearing today, let me slip into these extra smalls. Huh, that's not working for me. Why don't I put my dick in a fucking arm lock for the rest of its life? I'll put my dick in an arm bar forever so that I can wear

0:03:43 Tom: This is the whole show. This is the entire show now. It's all I care

0:03:45 Thomas: Yeah. Nah.

0:04:18 Eli: The shirts zoomers are

0:04:19 Tom: About how do you have three kids and you're wearing briefs too? Like, that's shocking, as

0:04:23 Eli: Wearing. This is why Remy cries so much. You squeezed him for so much of his fucking leg. Yeah, exactly.

0:04:25 Thomas: They're not really this.

0:04:26 Tom: Well, right, he got the fucking, he got the hotted up sperms, man. He got those fucking toasted up

0:04:32 Eli: You spend this negative seven years of your life smushed against the next one.

0:04:32 Thomas: And I live where it's actually hot, too.

0:04:38 Thomas: Here's what you're not realizing. The boxer breeze are extra fucking clothing. So if there's the warmth of, I get it, you're thinking like, oh, there's not enough airflow. Sure. That's also like you're wearing a sweater on your foot. It's long sleeves for short sleeves. You know what's cooler short sleeves, a tank top. The briefs are a tanktop The boxer briefs our long sleeve shirt, which is better in the California

0:04:53 Tom: Sperms

0:04:55 Eli: I have literally never in my life been like, oh man, this little bit of leg.

0:05:01 Tom: Briefs are the wife beaters of underwear though, like you look classless.

0:05:03 Eli: Yes. Yes, yeah.

0:05:04 Thomas: No, they make nice ones now.

0:05:05 Tom: I take my clothes off and I'm already like, fuck, really? That's me, you know. If I put myself in briefs, I'd be like, oh, there's no way I'd, I'd like, yeah, I wouldn't fuck me either. It's fine, like, I'll just go live outside. It's

0:05:17 Thomas: Oh, I very much wouldn't fuck me. No, that's not I fully agree with you there Now that I think about it, it is horrifying when I take my clothes off. That's a good point.

0:05:19 Tom: Okay, so Eli you're on team separation, like, I've tried

0:05:28 Eli: The notion that you'd be like, Ooh, I'm so much more comfy without this inch and a half of short around my thigh.

0:05:39 Thomas: It looks like three inches.

0:05:39 Eli: I'm sure. I sure am glad that I've I've packed my junk into an Auschwitz train car so that I can fuck it.

0:05:44 Thomas: It's the same. The part where your penis and balls are is the same for briefs as it is for boxer briefs. Yes, boxer briefs are just briefs that you add the little fucking cutlets to the bottom. I could get some paper, newspaper, I could cut it, I can put that on. Man.

0:05:49 Eli: It's not the same. I don't know what to fuck your job. I'm about to drop my trousers and get on FaceTime to show you.

0:05:57 Eli: I'm sending a picture of my underwear to the group chat and you can't cancel me. You can't because this is important for the law.

0:06:09 Tom: Out oh my god, that's fucking perfect

0:06:10 Thomas: That's funny, that's so funny, oh that's so funny. Made the change, never look back. It's so much more

0:06:13 Eli: What are you guys going to podcast about now? I think I'm going to start. You ever get convinced to wear a thong?

0:06:15 Tom: That's it. No, that's it, I don't care about anything else ever again, ever again. Nobody wants to see me in a thong. What do you mean, convinced to wear a thog?

0:06:28 Eli: I had a girlfriend who was really into me wearing thongs.

0:06:31 Thomas: Comfy. Really? Yeah, was it just for, like, a bit?

0:06:31 Tom: Was she blind?

0:06:32 Eli: I was hot once. I was hot multiple decades ago and she was, she was like, dude, you should wear thongs, and I was like, I mean, fuck, you're the vote that matters, we're doing electoral college and you're

0:06:43 Thomas: Wow, okay, well now we need to see

0:06:45 Tom: Or wait, Mississippi matters. The famed swing state of Mississippi. Oh my god, there you go.

0:06:47 Eli: Mississippi

0:06:48 Thomas: This, no, yeah, yeah, you're thinking Pennsylvania, I think is the one you want to

0:06:52 Eli: Yeah, you're Pennsylvania, exactly, you're Pennsylvania, but yeah, no, I, I hated that shit so much It's the worst Was it controversial for the girls in your schools to be allowed to wear thong? That was a huge thing, like the all

0:06:57 Tom: No Yeah, no, no

0:06:58 Thomas: Get. Wow, Pixar didn't happen. Whoa, what? I'm sorry, yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? There is no, no no one was allowed to check what the girls were wearing. That's okay.

0:07:05 Tom: Wait, what? Who's checking? No, I don't remember this at all. How would anyone know what the girls were wearing?

0:07:15 Eli: The girls were wearing, because this is the 90s, right? And so, so they would wear the low.

0:07:19 Thomas: No, that's not it. You're at a pervert something. That's impossible.

0:07:22 Tom: No, I think I know what he's talking about, where the thong can't peek out over the clothes.

0:07:23 Eli: Maybe I was at a pervert high school. Yes. The thong couldn't peek out over the clothes and

0:07:26 Tom: Yeah. Right.

0:07:27 Thomas: Oh, okay. Well, that may be different.

0:07:29 Tom: Yeah, no.

0:07:29 Eli: The girls who were allowed to wear thong underwear versus the girls who were not allowed to wear thung underwear. It was a huge deal. Like, it was all the gospel was like, by their parents. Yeah.

0:07:37 Thomas: Oh, you meant by their parents. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

0:07:40 Tom: I mean like our school dress code would not have allowed underwear to poke out over your clothes. Like you would definitely get in trouble. But like in the nineties when I went to high school, like, yeah, you couldn't wear like midriff or cutoff shorts. Couldn't wear cutoff shirts. Your shorts couldn't be shorter than the tip of your fingertip. Definitely no like midrift bearing clothes that was out like back in the nineties. Yeah, and you certainly couldn't like have your underwear visible. That would be, yeah, those are all

0:07:46 Thomas: Yeah.

0:07:51 Eli: Mm -hmm. Oh, that was huge. I remember that. Hey, that's a fucking insane part of our childhood that I hope is over.

0:08:06 Thomas: I really hope it's over.

0:08:06 Tom: Rules that I do a hundred percent remember. So yeah.

0:08:09 Thomas: The first moment anyone tries to slut shame Phoebe or something, I'm going to do a murder. I can't wait. I can't wait to do a murder over that. Like if there's a dress code thing and it's going to be, I'm going to turn in to a fucking Tumblr feminist or something. And I can't wait because it's the correct view. Yeah, I will. The fact that all we do is police girls' clothing and not dudes at all is totally true. It's the Correct Take. I can't wait.

0:08:25 Eli: You just show up with an undercut somehow when the opposite is what needs to happen, right? If there was a shower monitor at the door of every middle school who was just like, mm -mm, back home you go, soap and water, get out of here, society would be a better place.

0:08:38 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:08:47 Tom: Okay, wait a minute, I want to ask about that question, because the kids are having

0:08:49 Thomas: I would have never been allowed to wear briefs. No, I'm just kidding.

0:08:52 Tom: When you guys were in middle school and high school, were you required to take a shower in gym, and did somebody make sure that you did? Because we absolutely were, and somebody absolutely made sure that

0:09:01 Eli: Yes,

0:08:58 Thomas: No. Holy shit. Some pervert was like the shower inspector?

0:09:03 Eli: 100%. Yep, there was this shower monitor. I, and I will remind our audience, I had a note that I was susceptible to colds, so I did not have to swim.

0:09:04 Tom: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

0:09:06 Thomas: No way. No. Of course you did. Oh, my fucking God. Oh, to swim?

0:09:14 Tom: Susceptible to colds.

0:09:15 Eli: Did I not tell you guys this? I feel like I've said this on air before.

0:09:17 Tom: I didn't know why.

0:09:20 Thomas: Okay, that's fucking hilarious.

0:09:20 Tom: Susceptible to cold. I'm sorry. If Eli gets, that's fucking amazing.

0:09:23 Thomas: That's so Eli.

0:09:24 Eli: And here's the thing. Mr. Springer, who was the gym teacher for our high school, head of the gym program, he was the swim coach, he was incredibly good friends with my dad, and so he met me early on and he knew my dad, like, knew my dad's sports career a little bit, met me earlier on, and he was like, "Who did your mom fuck? What the fuck is this singing marshmallow of a child doing in my room?" And The stillness on his face when I brought him that note, and he was like, "Yup, sure, I guess." And I just fucking all right, I'll go hang out in the drama hallway if you need me." The fucking perfect stillness that overcame you. Ever seen that? I forget what the movie is. I think it's Born on Fourth of July, but I might be wrong. The one where the guy goes to the Vietnam Memorial Wall and he realizes his friend's name isn't there. That's

0:09:44 Thomas: Uh, yeah, yeah. You presented a note? Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, oh my God. That is wow.

0:09:59 Tom: No.

0:10:16 Thomas: Oh,

0:10:16 Eli: What it was like. That was the experience of getting my. Eli is susceptible to colds. No

0:10:22 Thomas: Geez.

0:10:23 Tom: I remember when I was in middle school or junior high, junior high and high school, we were required to take a shower after gym class. It was a thing, and it was, let me just say, it was the fucking worst. A junior high is the worst experience people get to have. Like, that's it.

0:10:35 Thomas: Oh, yeah well period. Yeah, for sure.

0:10:39 Tom: Junior high ist just terrible. It's horrible. But like also, not everybody in junior high has gone through puberty at the same base

0:10:46 Thomas: Oh, junior high.

0:10:46 Eli: It's the best. Yes.

0:10:47 Thomas: Oh, okay. So I didn't have to do this until high school. Yeah, junior higher. That would be agony. That'd be fucking agony. Yeah.

0:10:50 Tom: Junior high, you've got, like, you've the kid who's like six foot six, he's got a fucking hairy chest, his fucking dongs down to his knee, and then you've got other kids who are like, their voice hasn't cracked. It's

0:10:55 Thomas: 100%. This is the weirdest thing.

0:11:00 Eli: You just have a second belly button and where your dick is, and you have no idea why it doesn't look like that, guys. Yeah.

0:11:05 Thomas: So true.

0:11:06 Tom: The worst. It's like, it is horrible. Like, oh my god. And they fucking, they absolutely made sure that you shot, you had to do it. You got points taken off, you got in trouble, like you got sent home, you got detentions, whatever it was. Yeah, yeah, it was a whole thing. They don't do that shit anymore.

0:11:15 Thomas: What? That's crazy. Even in high school, I never had. I mean, they're. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because that would imply, hey, you, you're in charge of watching, making sure the children get naked. That's the. Okay, no.

0:11:20 Tom: Yeah, they

0:11:30 Eli: Who do you think the first person to break that trial was? Do you think there was just one sane teacher who they were like, "So, yeah, you're gonna want to tell the kids to take a shower, just peek your head and make sure they're all showering," and the guy was like, "Oh, I'm not gonna do that," and he was like, "Best part of the job, I don't understand what you're talking about. I'm retiring next week. I don't know. What did you get into the game for? Did you not stud "We did that unit in college. I did, I did six years at Memorial Medical Hospital to learn how to watch a child take a shower."

0:11:45 Tom: Don't do

0:12:00 Thomas: Oh

0:12:03 Tom: That though has to feel kind of crazy, because like, you have to go to school and go to college to be like, "More jumping jacks. I'm gonna play volleyball. None of you guys are gonna care, and the points don't matter, and Eli's gonna bring in a note that says he doesn't value this." Fuck. Okay. Uh

0:12:08 Thomas: Man, did Wait, did we do the break? The only thing worse than watching children

0:12:18 Eli: Susceptible of cold. Nope. No, we didn't. But guys, you know, the only thing worse than how it must have felt to read my note where I said I was susceptible to colds and therefore didn't have to swim or shower. It's the auto-ants. The taking a shower of your podcasting experience. You should do it more often than you need to. It's probably good for you. But boy, who has the time? Over at patreon.com/dear old dads, you can never shower again. We can't smell you on Patreon. Nobody can smell you on Patreon. I mean, some Patreons will smell you, but not ours. You know what? There's

0:12:18 Tom: This is my whole life, there's

0:12:52 Thomas: There's a goal. Yeah

0:12:52 Eli: A number. I'll say this, there's a number, there's a number where we will smell you, but it's not. Oh

0:12:53 Tom: A number

0:12:56 Thomas: Why did they get rid of the Patreon goals? So fucking stupid.

0:12:59 Eli: Because they're trying to get us all to become monthly accounts, and the Patreon goals, nobody was hitting them. Where there were three podcasts. Podcasts hitting their Patreon goals, and we were three of them.

0:13:03 Thomas: So dumb. You could still have a goal of monthly. What was it doing? What What, what was the, what was the overhead on maintaining the ability for us to type some text into a fucking box? Back in the, the comedy shoeshine days, we had a really funny page of a bunch of fake goals that I really

0:13:12 Tom: Yeah. All

0:13:16 Eli: That's my question: is what did they... yes, of course, it's a great time Yes

0:13:23 Thomas: Miss. It was fucking hilarious. One of them was like, we're gonna pay off our Columbia House debt. That's fun. Fuck Patreon.

0:13:29 Tom: Right

0:13:33 Eli: Anyways patreon.com/ dear old dads. Give us your money there Because it's the only way you can do it.

0:13:35 Thomas: It's the only way we can make a living. Please.

0:13:46 Ad: [Ad break 1 — ad music]

0:13:48 Tom: So, Eli, you put this in our show notes to chit-chat about. I think you found, where did you find this, by the way? Where did this come from? What's the origination?

0:13:54 Eli: So this came to me via the deep web I got this on the darknet. I was I was pirating I was torrenting I was on Anna's archive where I was downloading the copy of all of Spotify. I was at Andrew Tate's great.

0:13:59 Thomas: No kidding.

0:14:01 Tom: Let's do a different episode. Let's Do a Different Episode. We should do a Different episode. It's not the question I meant to ask at all.

0:14:09 Eli: Hey, wait, real quick, guys. Do you know about Andrew Tait getting punched in the face?

0:14:10 Thomas: Oh The fight. Yes, yes.

0:14:11 Tom: No, wait, what? You can see him get punched in the face? Oh, I want to see him get punched. Punch in the Face.

0:14:16 Thomas: And try to suck a guy's dick.

0:14:17 Eli: Yeah. Handpicked the worst boxer in boxing to fight. And he lost so much. It's the best. Yeah.

0:14:25 Tom: Oh, I gotta watch this.

0:14:24 Thomas: He lost so much that he tried to suck the guy's dick several times. He Elied it. He did what Eli would do in a boxing match.

0:14:29 Tom: Wait, what?!

0:14:32 Eli: He's trying to do a clinch on his knees. It's pretty fantastic. He

0:14:35 Thomas: Wow.

0:14:37 Tom: Can't wait to watch this!

0:14:37 Eli: Fucking rules. Anyways, that's great, you should check that out. Andrew Tate got punched in the face a whole bunch of times and you can watch it on video for free. It's free on the internet.

0:14:44 Tom: Oh my god, that's all that matters right now.

0:14:49 Eli: So this comes to us from J. Sinilic on X. This person is an erotica author and they also write essays on their, uh, they have a fiction on their website. Memoirs of an evil vizier. Yup.

0:15:01 Tom: Gross.

0:15:07 Thomas: Okay, cool. So you're gonna hear me be super confused about the topic of today's show, but it's not because the normal way where I didn't know what it was. I literally consumed this piece of whatever thing and I'm so confused by it. I've been waiting for Eli to explain to me what the, the fuck is happening. I can't

0:15:08 Tom: What the fuck?

0:15:14 Eli: Do the homework.

0:15:28 Eli: Work. Okay, so this person, they're like a internet misogynist who thinks they can write, and so they wrote a blog that went a little bit viral. The blog is called the Illusion of Dominance: Why the Red Pill Is Wrong, and you might think, oh, that's like an anti-right, an anti-seduction. No, no, let me, let me be. Before we get into the, uh, the meat of the thing, I'll read you the intro to this blog. The red pill is a loose body of seduction instructions for men and supporting analysis of female male sexual psychology. It contains some truths and some falsehoods, and this brief essay won't go over each of these point by point. Instead, I'll explain something very fundamental it gets wrong. So fundamental, in fact, that you'll discover the red pill is supporting the very system young men believe it overturns. It promises to empower men to get what they want. Instead it it makes them into submissive slaves of women.

0:15:32 Thomas: Wait, okay.

0:15:42 Thomas: Oh, okay. They hooked people in with it.

0:16:25 Thomas: Yeah, hmm.

0:16:26 Eli: In explaining why this is the case, I'll provide an analysis of male sexual psychology and the process of courtship that will be useful to men and women alike, even after the red pill fad is forgotten.

0:16:35 Thomas: Jesus, you're not lying. This guy does think he can

0:16:42 Tom: You know, I don't think I read in there What are his technical and educational credentials that he's coming at this from, Eli Bosnick? I'm just curious.

0:16:49 Eli: Yeah, no, he doesn't give us the byline.

0:16:49 Tom: Is he what? What's the job?

0:16:53 Eli: One last little bit here before we get to the craziness. Warning, the analysis ahead is not for the faint of heart.

0:16:59 Thomas: Write.

0:17:00 Eli: This isn't the politically correct refutation of the red pill you're expecting. Quite the contrary.

0:17:04 Thomas: This isn't your grandmother's analysis.

0:17:10 Tom: Wait

0:17:10 Eli: Children and sensitive souls should turn back now.

0:17:10 Thomas: What is it, Vincent Price all of a sudden? Please.

0:17:16 Eli: Yeah, look, I could read this entire blog.

0:17:19 Thomas: Do.

0:17:19 Eli: I'll just tell you the sections that we miss. Section one, most women want to be sexually dominated. We're going to skip that one. I know, it's heartbreaking. Section two, men don't actually want to dominate you. Sorry. We're gonna skip that. That one. Moving on. Section three, the red pill prescription is a fraud. True, but not the way he says it. Yeah, this is for men and women. It's for everybody who wants the truth of this blogger. I mean, look, if you insist, I will read section two. Men don't actually want to dominate

0:17:37 Tom: A minute. Can we go back to section two? This book is for men, right? Men to read.

0:17:45 Tom: I feel like this book is für men. And that title was Men Don't Want to Sexually Dominate You.

0:17:55 Tom: Because I feel the you is the reader. And that's a dude.

0:17:58 Thomas: Yeah, who's me?

0:17:57 Eli: You. Sorry. Yeah. You just, you just stop me if you have any commentary along this journey, this area journey to understand why this point about desire is so, so crucial, we need to turn the mirror back on men. Men are little inclined to self-reflection, and women, too, understand male sexual psychology much less than they believe, because the temptation to project their fantasies of men onto real ones thoroughly tramples their intuition for character.

0:18:03 Tom: All

0:18:28 Eli: Women become so enamored with erotic dreams of dominant heroes that they fail to notice actual men don't want to dominate them. My assertion that men don t want to dominate them even seems unbelievable to women on first blush and offensive on second.

0:18:28 Thomas: What the Fuck this.

0:18:46 Tom: Right. Offensive? What?

0:18:46 Eli: Bizarrely, a lack of introspection leads men to accept women s fantasy projection of male psychology as if it were or should be reality, when it s very far from it. The result is that everyone Everyone thinks that they understand male sexual psychology, but they don't.

0:19:04 Tom: But I do. Oh.

0:19:04 Eli: They are, they are badly wrong.

0:19:03 Thomas: Is nothing Okay, okay.

0:19:08 Tom: My god. Oh, my God, this is, mmm, okay. Oh.

0:19:11 Thomas: And you're saying more than us have read whatever this is? Damn.

0:19:15 Eli: So Many more than us. Okay. Red Pill account of male behavior is incoherent, obviously not for the reasons that he thinks. I should also point out that throughout the article, he has a bunch of, like, classical paintings of naked women. So it's, and he's also done it in this weird, like, Gothic font. I highly recommend checking it out. And then when you get, like, two-thirds of the pages down, so it's like all these classic Renaissance pages, and then there's this gentlemen. I'm just going to drop this into our chat if you can describe what about three quarters down he provides us artistically. It's an AI slop bride with giant bazoingas in like a mini skirt bridal dress being chased by

0:19:26 Thomas: Oh, Jesus.

0:19:43 Tom: God. What the shit? Yeah, this is just a, I fucking, sure.

0:19:46 Thomas: Christ. Oh, uh, AI slop of. Yeah, yeah. With zombies going after her

0:20:00 Eli: Zombies. And again, I cannot not emphasize, this is like right after fucking Rodan's The Lady of the Lake. It's the fucking best Okay, we need a genuine revival of masculine virtue. You see that you're not so different after all, Tom. Women are quietly hooked on violent

0:20:07 Tom: I don't

0:20:08 Thomas: Okay. Yeah.

0:20:16 Tom: Think that's what I said ever.

0:20:19 Thomas: What? No.

0:20:19 Eli: Pornography. Once again agreeing with Tom.

0:20:21 Tom: Mmm, that is what. No.

0:20:21 Thomas: They're watching two hockey players fuck each other. No, did that not resonate at their? Have you heard about this, Tom?

0:20:28 Eli: Oh, he did.

0:20:30 Thomas: They're watching two hockey players fuck each other.

0:20:29 Tom: No, what? Heated

0:20:30 Eli: There, hey, I'll tell you, there's no fucking shot that Tom is aware of Heated Rivalry, and if you, if you tell him about it, he will run away. It's

0:20:35 Thomas: Oh, really? Okay. Really? Oh.

0:20:39 Tom: Rivalry? I don' know what that is.

0:20:42 Thomas: Okay.

0:20:43 Eli: A gay hockey erotic movie.

0:20:46 Thomas: For some reason, and this is true, it's not the only one. There's like a big thing of gay hockey erotica that is appealing to mainstream. Obviously, people like me don't give a shit. The people who are into the hockey don't care, but women

0:20:50 Tom: No, sure. Yeah.

0:21:03 Eli: I feel like you would be a fan.

0:21:03 Thomas: Do. For some reason women are really into specifically gay hockey erotica. I don't know what it is. It's very weird But, uh, it's all the rage. The, yeah, but specifically hockey.

0:21:12 Eli: Oh.

0:21:12 Tom: A lot of dudes like watching lesbians, like, you know, whatever. Specifically hockey. All

0:21:16 Thomas: So, like, if we, it'd be funny if it was, like, dudes were into a specific, like, sport field

0:21:21 Eli: Like cheerleaders. I would be so psyched if my hobby was the focus of a bunch of women's sexual fantasy. Like, if they just couldn't get enough magician erotica, I would be so fucking psyched and be like, "I'm a magician."

0:21:22 Tom: Right. It is very hyper

0:21:28 Thomas: Hockey. Good point. I gotta find a way, wait, make this work.

0:21:34 Tom: Specific magician erotica. Do those words exist next to each other?

0:21:37 Thomas: No, they don't.

0:21:39 Eli: You read it because, because you want to know what girls like, so you go read it, and then you're like, oh, that's actually not how that card trick works. Stupid. Wrong. Whoever wrote that should have called me. I would have helped you with your magician gay erotica.

0:21:45 Thomas: They don't, yeah, yeah.

0:21:45 Tom: Anywhere. Pick a dong. Any Dong. Is this your dog?

0:21:54 Eli: Exactly!

0:22:02 Ad: [Ad break 2 — ad music]

0:22:04 Eli: So we've skipped quite a few chapters in the interest of time. I'm sorry, podcast listener. Maybe, perhaps, for a Christmas bonus, we will read you the entirety of this blog. But, for today, we're just going to be focusing on the part that went viral. Roll. Chapter 11, The Beige Lingerie Test.

0:22:22 Tom: So I had no idea until you just said it right now that this is a chapter. This is the introduction to a

0:22:26 Thomas: Yeah, I didn't know either.

0:22:27 Eli: This is merely chapter 11, Tom. Perhaps it seems so ridiculous to us because we have not consumed the entire argument of its author.

0:22:29 Tom: Chapter? Holy. Yeah. I'm sure that's the problem. Jesus.

0:22:37 Thomas: What?

0:22:38 Eli: Perhaps we fear his razor-hot barbs of logic.

0:22:42 Tom: Christ.

0:22:44 Eli: Chapter11, The beige lingerie test.

0:22:47 Tom: La jish.

0:22:48 Eli: Want to know whether your girlfriend friend or wife is aggressively indifferent, tell her you've always found nude lingerie unattractive and you'd appreciate it if she'd stop wearing it entirely. For the purpose of this test, it doesn't matter if you actually care.

0:22:52 Tom: No.

0:23:03 Eli: Hey, can I just make a little pact right now? Let's all put our hands in the center. Let's All Go Tell Our Wives That We Found Nude Lingerie Unattractive and that we'd appreciate if she stopped wearing it entire. And then whoever's wife gets the the divorce paper filed fast enough wins.

0:23:23 Thomas: Well, nude lingerie is a weird thing.

0:23:25 Tom: All Right. Lingerie, I think he's standing in for underwear of any kind.

0:23:27 Eli: Yeah,

0:23:27 Thomas: I think he just means underwear, because like,

0:23:29 Eli: He means underwear. He does not know the difference between... Also, he mean beige, because part of the dialogue that's been around this piece is people were like, what about brown for brown skin? And he was like, no one has brown skin. And they were like cool, cool, cool, all right. She'll immediately explain that she wears it because it's invisible under clothes. You should then...

0:23:30 Thomas: Like, yeah, that's so funny. Yeah.

0:23:30 Tom: Right, yeah. Yeah. It

0:23:42 Thomas: Oh, God, he does mean underwear.

0:23:50 Tom: Just means underwear, yeah.

0:23:50 Thomas: That is so funny, he said lingerie instead of underwear. That's amazing.

0:23:52 Eli: Yeah,

0:23:53 Tom: Well, Lingerie technically just means women's underwear. That's

0:23:56 Thomas: Yeah, of course, but there's no fucking way colloquially that's what, okay.

0:23:56 Eli: Yeah.

0:23:57 Tom: It's not how it's colloquially. Yeah, right. I know. Yeah.

0:24:00 Eli: He speaks French when it is appropriate. He orders mozzarella cheese on his pizza and he tells his wife to throw away all of her beige lingerie. She'll immediately explain that she wears it because it's invisible under clothes. I cannot emphasize the amount of things my wife would say to me before she said it's INVISIBLE UNDER CLOTHES. I would live in a different house by the time she got to the point it's Invisible Under Clothes. You should then point out that one of the colors in the pink-mauve-red range usually is, too, and you'd be happy.

0:24:20 Thomas: Yeah.

0:24:21 Tom: Yeah.

0:24:35 Thomas: What the fuck is happening?

0:24:37 Tom: Red, famously difficult to see under clothes. Red is famously.

0:24:40 Thomas: This is the weirdest thing. I'm still having a stroke. Okay. Yeah.

0:24:44 Eli: You should then point out that one of the colors in them pink - mauve - red range usually as, too. And you'd be happy to help her test every possible alternative and determine the best one, but you really find new lingerie to be a big turnoff no matter the occasion. It's important you make your distaste clear without being pushy or giving her an order of any kind. Once she knows how you feel, observe how she reacts over the following weeks.

0:25:12 Tom: I don't need weeks.

0:25:12 Eli: If she changes nothing or hardly anything in her dressing habits, she qualifies as aggressively indifferent to your tastes. Sorry. Grading the beige lingerie tests, which by the way, he has a bunch more AI slop girls in their underwear under the grading system here. So So just like imagine you're on the Reddit like AI porn. That's what he has like 19 pictures of here under his grave. So here they are. Creating the beige lingerie test. A. Throws out all or almost all of her beige lingerie and never wears it again. B. Mostly stops wearing beige lingerie but still keeps it around.

0:25:30 Tom: Of course. Right?

0:25:51 Thomas: Jesus fucking Christ.

0:25:52 Eli: C. Starts avoiding beige lingerie on special occasions and weekends but still wears it regularly. D. Avoids beige lingerie for a few days, then reverts to her norm. E. Makes no changes to her lingerie habits. Or F. Pointedly

0:26:09 Thomas: Says fuck off and gets a divorce. Yeah.

0:26:13 Eli: Asks whether you're buying the new lingerie. Warning! Don't administer this test if you don't want to know the answer. You might be disappointed.

0:26:23 Tom: I know the answer. Yeah.

0:26:25 Thomas: I don't even know the

0:26:28 Tom: Well, like, can we start off with, like... What the fuck is aggressively indifferent? And why the fuck am I supposed to have that as a new insecurity as a guy with regard because that's what it's being tested supposedly, what is, and I know it's not even the heart and soul of it, but like, just if I just take it on its face, I'm supposed to want to know if my girlfriend or wife is aggressively indifferent.

0:26:42 Thomas: Question. Yeah.

0:26:51 Thomas: Yeah, here's what's happening, Tom. So these fucking loser dorks have women that hate them and So what they do is they find different, every day they notice a different way that, wait a minute, this woman hates me in this new way, which is that when I express a preference like, ah, I don's like when you wear this, they go, oh, that's fucking great, I don't give a fucking shit, asshole

0:26:58 Eli: Disappointed, nobody cares, I wish you were dead.

0:27:13 Tom: Yeah.

0:27:13 Thomas: Didn't ask your opinion, and then they write a whole blog about it in a weird fictionalized way that's not real, about how they do a test and then their woman, which just instantly makes the change as soon as they express their taste.

0:27:20 Eli: Yeah. Because here's what happened. I don't believe this person's ever been in a relationship with a human. I do believe that they have managed to get someone, like, chatting on an app, right? Tinder at one point, and he was like, "I have a bone, mo. This one seems properly submissive. Time to test her. Uh, I do not enjoy nude lingerie." And they were were like, "Weirdo," and blocked him, and he was like, "Another woman fails my test. Time to use my sex doll shaped like Michelle Obama again." Yeah.

0:27:51 Thomas: Yeah. Gee.

0:28:00 Tom: Like, what seems to be the case here is, like, there's an underlying male insecurity which I, I have seen, like, reflected in places online, that women are in these relationships, but that they have no real desire to be in those relationships, that they are sneakily, but that the women are the ones being duplicitous, that there are sneakly in this relationship, that there's sort of like, there's this whole like world, like this internal space that women, are, are having in these relationship that they're not sharing, that these guys have to constantly test against it or whatever.

0:28:16 Thomas: I wonder why these dudes are getting that, that feeling.

0:28:34 Thomas: Yeah, man, because you got kids and a mortgage and you got you all of a sudden you're with this fucking dork and you realize, like, well, how do, what can I do? Can I get a job? They don't want to be in the relationship.

0:28:46 Tom: I, yeah, like, I think that that's, I think oftentimes people are stuck in relationships they don't want to be, and I guess that's not what I'm talking about here. Like, I'm saying that there's a male insecurity that this is catering to that says, like, hey, my wife doesn't really love me, my girlfriend doesn't actually want to have sex with me, my wife actually doesn't want my girlfriend actually want have sex with me. I have to constantly test it, I have constantly test and I have a constantly make sure, because I can never just be secure that the person who wakes up next to me wants to wake up next to me. And so like, I have to go through all these fucking like fucking crazy machinations to try to like suss out the real, you

0:28:50 Thomas: Yeah, oh, okay, sorry.

0:29:23 Thomas: Yeah, which is hilarious.

0:29:24 Tom: Know, heart and soul of what women want. Cause they're not going to fucking tell me when you could just like communicate.

0:29:29 Thomas: I was gonna say you could just be like, hey, I think I've been noticing, like, you haven't, you know, maybe been as horny lately. Is there something going on? They have to do everything that would treat their partner as not a person they talk to on a human level but as like this science experiment that they have have to try to get data from. It's like you could just be like, hey, is everything okay? It hasn't felt, is there anything I'm doing? Can we, you know, like, what's going on? Nope, can't do

0:29:44 Tom: Yes. Right. That. Yeah. Yeah.

0:29:45 Eli: Yeah. Can I hit you with a hot take that I think creates this kind of thing, this sort of like testing and insecurity? I think there are a lot of young men who were in the quote -unquote red pill community who aged and or married out of it, but it's the the only culture they've been a part of, so they have to invent new ways of being oppressed even when they're in relationships, right?

Because when they were single, they could be like, the Chads and Stacy's are all dating each other, but then they met some fucking girl at church who heaved a big sigh and said, "Fine," and then they got married, you know, at a hotel just outside of Disneyland because they needed to be frugal, and now they have two and a half kids and he's a fucking middle manager at some missile company, and he wants to feel oppressed the way he was when he was 17 and nobody wanted to fuck him, and she doesn't want to fuck him, but he knows that's because he's gay because of all the colors of underwear he's aware of, but he needs to feel impressed, he wants to feel pressed in the old ways, in the ways, so he gets on his blog, which he writes under a pen name, Jay Sanulier, and fucking talks about the beige lingerie test and aggressive indifference. Yep.

0:30:38 Tom: Missile company. Yeah. Yeah.

0:30:48 Tom: Yeah.

0:31:03 Tom: I agree with that because like one of the notes that I had on this topic was like there is like an undercurrent. I'm sure you've seen it. There's all this like toxic language where people talk about being high value, low value. And I think like there's a ton of dudes who are constantly like trying to prove that they are these high value men. Right. This alpha male. And they've got this like list of attributes. Right, which nobody is looking for and nobody nobody actually values.

And that's what they think is high value. But what they are is desperately afraid that the truth is that they are low value people. And so they are constantly living in this male created tension between what they know to be true, which is that their pieces of shit and that they're undesirable because they've not done any work to make themselves desirable to other people and good partners and loving and trusting and all that stuff.

Instead, they're just like what What other guys have told me women want is, you know, money and cars and muscles and all this other stupid shit. And I'm going to listen to the men tell me what women want because women are also inherently untrustworthy. And there's like all of this shit that's built into that, that these guys, I think, have grown up with in these online male curated spaces that like just teaches them all the worst messages. The worst message is about themselves.

The worst messages about what value means, what bringing something to the table in a relationship actually entails. The trustworthiness of women, their own like thoughts and feelings about desirability and like trustworthiveness and sexual compatibility. All of that shit's been poisoned by these spaces in ways where they're just like living on this fucking knife's edge of insecurity and like the only way that they've been taught to manage that insecurity is through like this fucking dominance testing bullshit. Does

0:32:50 Eli: Yep.

0:32:51 Tom: That feel like, it feels like it's, it, this aggressive indifference stuff is really just being like, is your girlfriend submissive enough without using that specific language, but like, it's also like, I'm afraid she, she doesn't love me. What do I do?

0:32:49 Thomas: That Yikes. Yeah, I think so. I, I don't know, this is so foreign to me that I don't know

0:32:52 Eli: No, a hundred percent.

0:33:10 Tom: I'm so afraid.

0:33:03 Eli: Yep. Right. Cause that's the thing, right? Like the thing about misogyny is it doesn't hold up to the humanity of your wife, right. And this is something that you see in the Christian community all the time, right, which is that the people are raised in these trembling communities, right in these like purity culture communities where the man is the center of the household and the woman is the, the help meet and blah, blah, and then they fall in love and they actually have a partner and they like each other. And liberalism is so obviously true. Equality is so obviously true when you like each other.

And look, there are some people for whom clinging to their ideals are more important, so the misogyny still stays in the relationship and sort of dominates over the affection.

But I cannot tell you how many listeners just married someone they liked, realized that their entire worldview did not work with having an egalitarian relationship with their favorite person in the world, and it just sort of collapsed out of the the nature of, like, I don't know, I guess I like her and I'd like her to have a say in the house

0:33:17 Thomas: Know I

0:34:09 Eli: Right, fuck. So you have to invent these fucking insane concoctions around your worldview so that it doesn't collapse.

0:34:19 Tom: Well, I think men too are telling themselves a story that if they are vulnerable, it makes them less manly. The truth is like, everybody is afraid that we're not always lovable. If you have moments in your life where you're like, I am afraid that I am not lovable, maybe don't phrase it exactly that way, but we all at some point feel that kind of insecurity in some way. And like sane people who aren't afraid of looking weak would simply simply go to their partner and say it, like, you know, like, I've been kind of distant lately and I know I've been working a lot, like, whatever. Yeah.

0:34:47 Thomas: Feel like Eli won't fuck me now that he knows I wear briefs, you know, like just like that kind of

0:34:50 Tom: Like, yeah, and like, and you would ask for validation, right? You'd be like, I know I'm wearing these briefs and it's disgusting, but you know know

0:34:53 Eli: Now that Yeah, correct. And then when I peel them off, you, I'm gonna smell the inside of a fucking slaughterhouse. Oh baby, let me run my hands down your bright red thighs. Guys, let me get you an ice pack for 30 to 50 minutes so your flesh can return to human colors.

0:34:57 Thomas: Thing, it's

0:35:09 Tom: Please, we've

0:35:11 Thomas: Disgusting. Oh man, that's not okay. Not everyone, Eli, not everyone has that. Okay, never mind. You know what, sure, I'll let you have it. Yeah, everybody has whatever the fuck weird thing you're talking talking about.

0:35:22 Eli: Let's

0:35:31 Ad: [Ad break 3 — ad music]

0:35:33 Tom: Been taught as men that if we express that vulnerability, and we're taught that by other men, right, like women aren't saying this, that like if we expressed that vulnerability and asked to be validated in that way, that like that's weak, we can't look weak because women don't like it, but women are like, yeah, we're fucking, I'd rather have you do that than like Like, tell me I can't wear underwear. You're being weird. Why are you making this so weird all the time?

0:35:53 Eli: Get honest. Let's Get Real here in the Real House. Maybe it's just me. Maybe you guys are about to shit on me because it turns out I'm wrapping my dick in duct tape because I'm a fucking weirdo who thinks that underwear is a long-sleeved shirt. But the moments where I am vulnerable with my wife, where I'm like, hey, I'm needing to feel loved or I'm really worried about this. I'm not sure if I'm doing this the right way. Like, those are some of the moments that she has appreciated the most where I've been willing to show that side of myself. I've never been like, oh, I'm really doubting myself on this. And Anna's been like. Ew.

0:36:02 Thomas: No, apparently I'm doing That, yeah.

0:36:31 Tom: Look, I'm a product of my times, right? Like, so I was born in 78. I'm older than you guys.

0:36:36 Eli: I've ever spoken to Haley.

0:36:37 Thomas: Oh, wow.

0:36:38 Tom: I have a hard time being specific. I have hard time about the things that I'm insecure about.

0:36:43 Eli: Haley, I've said about something.

0:36:45 Tom: I don't like it. I will say, like, I do not like it, I have a hard with it, a difficult time expressing it in specific terms. And if I do, I'll just I'll be like, yeah, that's the thing I'm insecure about. And then I don't know what to say after that. I have a hard time with it. I do. So I'm sympathetic to feeling weird about it, but I'm not like sympathetic to making other people feel weird about it. Right. That's the bridge I can't cross. Right? Like I will sometimes say like, hey, I know this is something I'm weird about and I'm sorry. I'm working on trying not to be weird about on it, but I feel this way, that's kind of the best I can do, like I do struggle with that sort of stuff, so I, I have some grace there, but like the solution is not like I'm just going to be psychopathic about it and like control and manipulate you. What? What?

0:36:45 Thomas: Huh. Yeah.

0:37:32 Eli: Can I say, Tom, I understand that coming from you, because I feel like if you chose to be vulnerable about one thing that kind of opens the floodgates. Right. Right. Like, how could you be like, I don't know, I'm worried that people don't like my poems. Also, earlier in the year, my neck popped itself out and I was in the most pain anyone's ever. Hey, speaking of which, when I was a kid, my head was all full of liquid. I got chased by a snapping turtle. Like, I feel like I feel Like you should keep that gate locked tight, man. I know I know that a lot of people would say otherwise, but me and the consortium of therapists and the automatic gun manufacturers in the state of Illinois.

0:37:50 Thomas: Yeah.

0:37:59 Thomas: Just never end.

0:38:06 Tom: Yeah, right.

0:38:09 Thomas: Yeah, I think it's a calculation of like, look, you know, you're closer to being dead than not, so like maybe, maybe just get, just kind of tough this one out, you know? Yeah.

0:38:16 Tom: I'm not. Yeah.

0:38:16 Eli: Yes. In the words of Tom's doctors, let it go, let it

0:38:21 Thomas: You don't need to, there's no need to rewrite this whole thing. Just kind of, yeah, see it out.

0:38:21 Tom: I think I'm probably in the minority on this show, right? I'm sure you guys are much more comfortable expressing those things. I suspect from other things that you've said.

0:38:34 Thomas: It sounds like a three bears situation. It's almost like I'm the one who's, I don't give a shit. I don'T even know what you guys are talking about. Eli's like, sometimes I'm like, oh, I feel a little bad about this thing. And that's nice. And then Tom's like, I've never said that in my life. I think that's the three bears, I

0:38:40 Eli: Go, we

0:38:49 Tom: Yeah, no, I don't hold back my feelings from Haley, but I don't really know how to talk about them constructively. So a lot of times I just don't. Like, I just don't have a language that makes sense to me, and, and I also don't feel like it helps me to verbalize a lot of things, so I'm just like, well, that's nothing, I don't need, I could just work on that on my own until I don't FEEL IT ANYMORE. Yeah, I need that. Can you

0:39:09 Eli: Have an emotions chart we do for Max when he comes home from school where he just gets to put the little button on how he's feeling, then he doesn't have to explain it.

0:39:13 Thomas: Don't

0:39:13 Tom: Ship it to me. I want to offer like some sympathy that, like, I do have a hard time with that. I think there are plenty of people that do, like But I don't understand why people externalize it rather than say, hey, I have a hard time with this. This is something I don't like. I don't like looking vulnerable. I don't enjoy it.

0:39:23 Eli: I prefer a mauve.

0:39:34 Thomas: Know what this is, this essay I just, or what, a book or whatever, I just, it's made up, this is all made up, none of this is real, Eli's pranking us, I, is it for an audience? Yeah. Is it for an audio of like teenage boys, and that's it, and

0:39:42 Tom: Well, of course it is. Eli wrote this last night. Yeah.

0:39:52 Thomas: People to, to consume it because they hate it, so it's like us making fun of it. Because I just, how many people like this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This specific writer, and because I don't fucking get it. I don't get it, man.

0:39:58 Eli: Underwear. No. Oh

0:39:53 Tom: Yes. It''s for teenage boys and the men who never grow out of being teenage boys.

0:40:02 Eli: Like, how popular is this in the real world of reality? Oh, I'm sure there's like Like, let me see. Okay, so Jason Le has 8,000 followers on Twitter. So just 2 ,000 shy of Ethan, right?

0:40:17 Thomas: Oh. Okay, but I mean, I guess the Andrew Tate shit is really fucking popular. That is another thing that I can't understand or fathom. So yeah, I think I'm just wrong.

0:40:25 Tom: Yeah, I was going to say, this all rhymes.

0:40:31 Tom: Yeah. All this stuff, I think the thing is, all this stuff rhymes because they...

0:40:34 Eli: He has a blog called How to Trick Your Girlfriend into Being Hotter. It's right after End Attached Garages Now.

0:40:38 Thomas: Dear

0:40:44 Tom: Cool, that's... And attached garages?

0:40:46 Thomas: God.

0:40:46 Eli: Tom,

0:40:46 Thomas: That's, uh, okay.

0:40:46 Tom: What? Okay, sure, sure, this is like young man yells at cloud, that's all that is, like it's like, you don't even need, right? Yeah, here's what really grinds my gears. Okay, Peter. Well, awesome. Yeah, great. Yeah.

0:40:53 Thomas: Yeah. It's his misogyny mixed in with his complaint of the week or whatever, like

0:41:03 Eli: This guy's got a lot of the same takes as you. He's got the same take as you, Tom. He's gotta a lot the same takes as you!

0:41:05 Tom: No, he does not. That is not accurate. I strongly

0:41:09 Thomas: Yeah. Oh, weird.

0:41:09 Eli: I feel like you gotta get in here with Jason Le! He's got a blog, too.

0:41:14 Tom: Is he, right, better? Is he a better writer? Okay, good. Thank God. Okay.

0:41:16 Eli: No.

0:41:16 Thomas: No, we couldn't even make that as a joke.

0:41:19 Eli: His first blog is called AI Lome. How AI personally makes everything less meaningful. Stop.

0:41:26 Tom: Well, a Stopped clock, a stopped clock, like I, it's funny because, like, I read this to Hayley, we were talking about, I was like, oh, we might do this as a show topic or whatever, and she was baffled as to what there would even be to talk about with this thing.

0:41:41 Thomas: Me too.

0:41:42 Tom: Yeah, but like there's also, like, I was trying to think of, like, what are the themes that are sort of embedded in the question? Like, one of the themes that's very hot in this question is, like, women exist to be attractive to you. Embedded in this question is the idea that, like, you should just always 100% of the time be working to be attractive to me. That is your primary goal.

0:41:44 Eli: You

0:42:02 Thomas: I'm trying, Tom, I'm trying.

0:42:02 Tom: That's what you're for. I don't, well, if they, they were nude briefs, I'd be in it, I'd be fucking

0:42:05 Thomas: But apparently you don't like my briefs, so I don't know what to do. Oh no, not nude briefs. Oh man. I just want to say

0:42:10 Eli: Don't like a pig that's been in a sauna for 60 minutes at a time?

0:42:16 Eli: If genitals aren't supposed to be the exact same color and moisture of a tomato, then I'm sorry.

0:42:22 Thomas: Maybe you are projecting a little bit onto me, is all I'm saying, that because I don't find that

0:42:27 Eli: Sorry, there's no fucking shot that if you reach into your briefs right now you're not getting fucking a cup and a half of moisture. It's the Amazon jungle in there.

0:42:34 Thomas: No. I'm not. No, it's fine, it's totally great. Reach in, do it, reach you. It's all going according to plan. It's It's all going according to plan.

0:42:41 Eli: Nobody believes you. Nobody believes you. You and Jay Sinelek, T Sinelek just posted a new blog: my dick is dry as a bone. Actually, chapter 41

0:42:52 Thomas: Yeah,

0:42:54 Tom: I think, like, the other thing I wanted to, like, offer there's a theme in here is, like, it also strongly suggests that, like, you are only attracted to your wife or girlfriend when she's actively like doing something to make herself look hot. Like if she's just like, if it's just a Sunday afternoon and she's like in sweats and a t-shirt, you're going to be like, yeah, no, I'm not into you. Like, it's gotta be like full hair and makeup and a nice outfit and some sweet lingerie. Or I'm not, I don't know. I don' know. Like, embedded in there is like the not so subtle, how hard do you have to work in order to make me attracted to you? And I'm like, then you were just fucking can never attract it to that person. That's what that means. Yeah.

0:43:32 Eli: Yep.

0:43:33 Thomas: So many of these men, I think, are just gay. Maybe.

0:43:37 Eli: Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up, Thomas, because I would like to conclude our meditation on Jay Similac with an episode of his latest podcast. Yes, he is a colleague.

0:43:37 Tom: I know. Right. No.

0:43:39 Thomas: I think.

0:43:47 Eli: I'm so glad you asked.

0:43:48 Thomas: Colleague.

0:43:49 Eli: And so if you'll go to our chat right now, Thomas, I know you're sort of our tech smith. Would you mind playing a little of the audio of his most recent episode? It is episode Reality -Based Beauty Tips, Clothing and Fashion, Part 1, Fit and Modesty.

0:43:54 Thomas: Oh, sure, sure.

0:43:49 Tom: Oh God. Oh God, is he one of those people that thinks fucking makeup is tricking you? Yeah, I'm sure. Sure.

0:44:06 Thomas: Okay. Are we going to hear this person?

0:44:09 Eli: I'm sure. His podcast is called Dispelling Beauty Lies.

0:44:13 Thomas: Let's see here.

0:44:13 Tom: Oh, great. Neat.

0:44:15 Clip: Hello everyone, welcome to another amazing episode of Dispelling Beauty Lies.

0:44:16 Eli: Well, just, well, that's his voice. Okay.

0:44:18 Thomas: What?

0:44:21 Clip: I'm with my wonderful co-host Carmen hello everyone and I'm Jay Sanilak and today we are going to be talking about clothing and fashion many people will find this to be their favorite chapter most fun chapter of dispelling beauty lies I don't know

0:44:38 Tom: Neat. Okay. I don't, I can't, I can't, I

0:44:39 Eli: That's it. That'S all we needed. I just, I just need it. Cause the best part is just, he's does this whole blog about what we need to wear and how they hate you. And I was like, all right, let me listen to this guy's podcast. Dick. And look, I know that there's a thing as a homophobic to be like a person's gay, but that's, that'S not, sometimes Sometimes people are also gay, and they have a

0:44:40 Thomas: This person's definitely gay. 100%.

0:44:49 Tom: Can't. What? I really like when a woman wears, is a, a dick. If a woman wears a dick, that's my favorite outfit. Holy

0:45:03 Thomas: No, but what if they're just gay, though? Yeah.

0:45:09 Eli: Podcast about what women should be wearing to properly seduce them. A gay man.

0:45:10 Tom: Shit. Awesome.

0:45:11 Thomas: Yeah, that's really funny.

0:45:15 Clip: DEAR OLD DAD

0:45:22 Eli: All right, gentlemen, before we go, why didn't the skeleton share his secret? Because the information was calcified.

0:45:33 Tom: Oh my God. Oh my God.

0:45:34 Thomas: I like that. That's a little off the beaten path. I like dat. You did? Oh, damn. I was going to be so happy.

0:45:37 Eli: Yeah, a little rogue, a Little Rogue, I wrote that one. No, I didn't. No. So proud of me.

0:45:45 Thomas: I was ready to heap praise on you.

0:45:45 Tom: Very impressed

0:46:33 Eli: Just put your cock in a cage. Don't bring your underwear into it. Why

0:46:38 Tom: Pick a dong, any dong.

0:46:42 Thomas: Maybe the problem is that, you know, you guys aren't packing.

0:46:46 Eli: Don't I put my dick in a fucking arm lock for the rest of its life? What the fuck is this singing?

0:46:58 Thomas: This isn't your grandmother's analysis.

0:47:01 Eli: Marshmallow of a child. You don't like a pig that's been in a sauna for 60 minutes at a time.