DOD201: Would You Let Your Kid Be a YouTuber?

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:02 Clip: I'm the cool dad. That's my thing. I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and honor dependent. I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

0:00:22 Clip: Telling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

0:00:29 Tom: To dear old dads the podcast that's starting its own youtube channel I don't know I didn't write anything I'm tom curry I'm joined as always by thomas smith and eli bosnick and we are not going to start our own youtube channel we're not doing that so should start

0:00:36 Thomas: Definitely not yet. Starting somebody else's.

0:00:42 Eli: If you'd like us to that's

0:00:43 Thomas: This is us announcing we

0:00:45 Tom: Somebody else's youtube channel

0:00:45 Thomas: Are now Andrew

0:00:46 Eli: What we should do should start a youtube channel for our show and then we just switch it to someone else's like knitting twitch without ever acknowledging it

0:00:46 Thomas: Tate's YouTube channel. We took it. Oh, I think we should start it as Joe the Joe Rogan experience. And we're that. And then we have a million, million, billion listeners, viewers. And now we're starting a new and then we turn into us.

0:00:59 Eli: Could we go one of the accounts that just does like shorts of scenes from like Peaky Blinders but with a weird sepia lens and

0:01:14 Thomas: That's all just AI. There's no actual people that do that.

0:01:17 Eli: Well we could but there's a person who activated the AI yeah

0:01:17 Tom: Are they getting checks yeah

0:01:20 Thomas: Don't know. I don' t know.

0:01:20 Tom: I all I care about is are they getting checks

0:01:22 Eli: They must be getting checks or they wouldn't be doing it someone somewhere is making money or they wouldn't do it it

0:01:28 Thomas: The internet sucks. It's ruined. Anyway.

0:01:29 Eli: Sure does but gentlemen you know the only thing worse than the social internet why

0:01:33 Thomas: I wanted to, hold on. I had some chitchat. I have some chitchat. First off, that was me leading into, hey, Patreon bonus, everybody, is out.

0:01:41 Thomas: Wait, is it out? What day is this for? It' S out. The patron bonus is out, it' s us talking

0:01:44 Eli: Like how you were like Eli Eli shut up shut up shut up that's

0:01:48 Thomas: About Andrew Tate. I ha ve COVID, it god damn it I don't know where I am I don'T KNOW WHAT SHOW THIS IS I forgot

0:01:56 Eli: Why you didn't get at a show the other day

0:01:58 Thomas: Story last night I

0:02:00 Tom: This dear old woking arguments by the way so just to help you out was

0:02:01 Eli: What

0:02:01 Thomas: Asked me yeah phoeBe asked me what something in the fridge was and I was like I don' t know it looks like ranch probably and I open it give it a smell and is this this a totally smell -less thing? I was like, what is this substance that has no smell? That is, that can't be right. How does it have no smell, and then I realized, oh, fuck, I have no sense of smell. I've lost it. I smelled so many things to check. I keep not believing it. I keep being like, that can'T be right, though. I didn'T really lose my sense of smell, but yep, I forgot that COVID did that. I completely forgot. I I didn't even know if that was still a thing. And now I'm

0:02:05 Eli: Was for dinner oh

0:02:38 Tom: Dude

0:02:39 Thomas: Just like everyone else in my house. So now when the cat shits or pee somewhere, I'm going to be among the last to know instead of the only person in the house who notices.

0:02:41 Tom: That sucks I actually didn't think that was still a thing so

0:02:50 Thomas: I can't wait. I'm actually glad. I don't want my sense of smell back. I get to be like everyone. I, like a Harrison Bergeron. I dunno. It's something, some reference. Am just just like every one else. Now something will be rotten somewhere. And you Me. I won't be the first one to notice and the only one to notice. There could be rotten food in the cars right now. Who's going to clean up? Won't be me. No sense of smell now. So it'll just live there forever. Oh, it's the best. Anyway, no sense of smile or taste. It sucks. Not happy, actually.

0:02:50 Eli: Sometimes

0:03:17 Tom: Your whole family's lost their sense of smell so you can just like rip ass around each other no problem now right just

0:03:19 Thomas: No, that's the normal. That's the default, Tom. I was making reference to our discussion the other week about how we're We're the only people who notice anything like cat pee. Crazy. I, great, man?

0:03:29 Tom: God how is the covid treating you obviously not Not well, huh? Yeah.

0:03:34 Thomas: I, it's adding to my anxiety. Cause I didn't, forgot about that. It is gone, gone. Like I have no taste, no smell. How long does that fucking last? Anyway,

0:03:43 Tom: I don't want to answer that question for you.

0:03:44 Eli: It never goes away

0:03:45 Thomas: It never comes back. Yeah. I do remember this happened last time. So it did come back last time, three years ago or whatever. So I feel like there's that, but this fucking blows. Anyway patreon .com yeah that's

0:03:55 Tom: Well, you can stop the GLP -1s if nothing tastes like anything, right? You just be like, well, I guess it's broccoli today. Everything's just chewing.

0:03:59 Thomas: I night I had the brain thought of I want a little treat and I was like wait what why why would I do that like now I'm so glad I stopped myself because what if I had eaten like a bunch of calories and been like oh that was nothing that was only

0:04:15 Eli: It's nothing just soft nothing I

0:04:16 Thomas: Calories

0:04:16 Tom: That's what I mean. Ate a chewing. That's what I had. Just chewing. Chewing.

0:04:23 Eli: Feel that sometimes you ever do that thing where you're working so hard you forget to eat and so your dinner is a thing that if someone fed it to a member of your family you would fist fight them until a cop pulled you off their corpse do a lot I was eating a handful of Cheerios at 11:30 at night the other night and I was like you know if I did this to my kid they would call cops who would come hungry

0:04:46 Tom: Would you have like a go -to lazy meal that you like make?

0:04:49 Eli: Factor not sponsored by Factor but yeah I have like 8 bajillion Factor meals just packed away our fresh never frozen but not in my fucking house cause our freezer is packed with Factor because 2 minutes is is almost as much time as I get to eat I don't get to like eat it in peace but if I carry the tray and burn my hand while I do the thing for another member of my family I have time to eat a factor meal yeah

0:05:17 Tom: My default meal will be to do something like make a giant piece of protein. Like I'll just like throw a turkey breast in the oven with nothing but salt. Just throw a turkey breast into the oven and cook it, throw it in the fridge when it's done. And they get like a bag of mixed vegetables, throw it into microwave and a giant hunk of Turkey and be like, yep, that's a dinner food. And the whole thing takes like a minute and it tastes like nothing absolutely just chewing it's

0:05:36 Thomas: That's like a five -star

0:05:37 Eli: It's just slop yeah slop

0:05:38 Thomas: Meal to me what that's more effort see my effort is I first hunt a wild beast and then that was so much more effort than I was expecting nice

0:05:50 Eli: So here's the thing I had a breakfast pattern for the last like six or seven years which I like and now I have a lunch pattern because I'm eating a subway sandwich too oh boy if I find a dinner pattern I'm fucking set guys I'm fuckin set all right tom do the podcast rip into it rip

0:06:09 Tom: Right, so we've got a question uh this question is a listener email from melissa dads I've run into a new conundrum I'm not sure how to proceed I'm the mom of two boys ages is five and nine we live in a townhome community and there are a lot of other families with kids that live here we have a shared playground for the community and plenty of roads for bikes and scooters and stuff the kids have formed a good old -fashioned bicycle gang and they're all out playing from after school till bedtime with only a small break for dinner and I love it my kids are making friends the other kids are great and they aren't spending the day on electronic devices or begging me for tablet time recently we've had quite a few new families move in and my kids were excited to have new friends to play with and just today two brothers that are new told my kids that they have a youtube account I assume they were just silly kids trying to look cool but my husband and I were able to track down their account and it really exists these kids are like 10 and I don't know why they even have cell phones as a parent that takes internet safety very seriously I do not want my kids being recorded and posted to youtube these youtube boys have already posted videos with some of the other neighborhood kids and I am worried that that they're going to try posting videos with my kids as well. Nobody follows or watches the content, but the internet is forever. How would you navigate this situation? I don't want to destroy my children's friendships by overreacting, but I also want to keep my children safe. I also don't wanna be that parent that is telling other people how to raise their kids. But I am totally judging how these people are raising their kids! They have cell phones and YouTube channels, and they are tiny children. I would appreciate any insight and advice you could give on how to navigate this situation. Situation oh

0:07:43 Tom: That's a good whoa yeah

0:07:40 Eli: The videos because here's the thing I know what you're thinking and you're smart podcast listener because you don't want your kid friends to be like all right we're all gonna jump our bikes and I'm gonna film it and they're like my mom uh too many articles in the the atlantic and so now the computer is going for us right and you don't want that right it is right that's how you end up with a tom you want a tom no nobody wants a tom so you tell your kids they do whatever the fuck they want and then you report the video you say that's my kid in the video they're a minor youtube will get rid of that shit so fucking fast they might downthe shut kids whole account but it''s all anonymous so who fucking cares they They shouldn't have a YouTube account in the first place.

0:07:59 Tom: It is though just yeah

0:08:25 Thomas: Can't believe I'm saying this but I think eli is right I think this is actually good advice

0:08:29 Tom: Is well done and dusted I don't we should have picked something else that was good advice I

0:08:32 Thomas: I know I was like all ready to be like this is what a tough problem what an important we're going to talk it out this is I don't but I Think this might be the way to go that's interesting wow

0:08:38 Tom: Know that's just like we should pick a different email that's

0:08:43 Eli: The opacity of technology is in your favor as a parent. I a parent group the other day, and this mom was like, hey, my 10 -year -old son, he found out about porn sites from his older cousin, and he's been going on them on the computer. He's not ready to see that kind of stuff. We've had conversations about it, but he's going on him. We don't think he's masturbating, but I think he was just curious. I don't really know what to do. And I was like, block the sites. Block them from your router. She was like. Oh, you can do that? And I said, you sure fucking can, queen. Here you go. Verizon, AT &T, private router. Here's all the settings. She said, that works fucking great. Now, there's no doubt

0:09:20 Thomas: The dad

0:09:20 Eli: That this woman's husband.

0:09:20 Thomas: Was like whoa hold on there's got to

0:09:22 Eli: This woman's husband, if he ever sees.

0:09:22 Thomas: Be another way is

0:09:22 Tom: Something's wrong with our internet I it's been down for weeks and I don't use it for anything else

0:09:25 Eli: Hey, hon.

0:09:24 Thomas: Censorship censorship really the way I mean freedom of expression what are we china now like we're just not okay

0:09:33 Eli: You. No you can just put a password on certain sites and she was like yep that did it nailed it

0:09:35 Tom: Then you have to know every site the kid's gonna go to right like

0:09:42 Thomas: And I don't want to know that.

0:09:43 Eli: It's on the like family computer he doesn't have his own computer

0:09:45 Thomas: What if you don't want to look at that information? If that information is like your dad's journals?

0:09:48 Eli: I think that's you don't want to know what porn your kids look at

0:09:51 Tom: So just block all the usual suspects right yeah okay and then just hope that but they don't get creative outside your list. Cause like the, difficulty there would be like the kids like, oh, that didn't work. And they start getting like weirder and weirter search terms until it's like, you pushed me here.

0:10:04 Eli: They're in the dark web they're like feet boys big step on pies dot com was the only thing that I could get through to so here we go flap flap flap flap I mean

0:10:12 Tom: Just, I kept, I've sexually radicalized my own kids somehow. I feel a little bad about this.

0:10:19 Eli: Because that's genuinely, that's kind of what happened to me, because the first porn I had access to, I'll say this, first porn I Had Access To, very weird, very not conventional, my still jam to this day, I was like, so that's porn you say, and the adults were like, yep, and I was, like, okay, well, yep.

0:10:24 Tom: Well, this is bad advice then.

0:10:39 Thomas: That's how it happened. Okay.

0:10:40 Eli: Yes, please.

0:10:41 Tom: That's it. All right, well, block the internet. That's what you do. You block the internet from your house.

0:10:45 Eli: See, again, and this comes back to Eli's sage advice of spying on your kids spying on your kid you just do it a little bit each day and all the rain goes away you're

0:10:57 Tom: Thomas, no.

0:10:55 Thomas: I funniest thing about what you said was, I I don'T think that he's masturbating, but I was like, what does it matter if he's like that part? I found really funny.

0:11:03 Tom: Difference does that make? Didn't care about it. Yeah,

0:11:06 Thomas: Yeah. It was like it's okay if he looks, but doesn't masturbate.

0:11:07 Tom: What? Don't know. He didn't actually come.

0:11:10 Eli: Well I think she would have thought I

0:11:11 Tom: He didn'T come, so it's fine. I don'T want him to get all the way there.

0:11:12 Thomas: He was just edging. It's okay. Okay

0:11:15 Tom: Yeah, it's fIne, yeah, Jesus Christ. What a, all

0:11:16 Eli: All well we nailed it we got it everybody 10

0:11:20 Thomas: All episode

0:11:20 Tom: This is the shortest. That's actually really good. I didn't even know you could report a video because it contains your minor child. I thought you'd report it.

0:11:20 Thomas: Over hey

0:11:26 Eli: Every here's the thing there's pretty much only two things that we treat the internet the way it should be treated and they're non -consensual sexual content and stuff with kids in it and if you ever wondered like how good the internet could be report something for sexual stuff withkids in it because it's fucking gone instantly

0:11:45 Tom: Wait a minute. You had a report. It is having sex stuff, not just, Hey, my kids on it.

0:11:48 Eli: You just go kids so your kid is your kid you get to choose what it has so because because of that, because they know, right. And these channels, not to be Tom here. So all these networks know that if you put a child on the internet, someone's going to jerk off to your kid. Right. Just a thing. There are a whole YouTube channels dedicated to young,

0:11:51 Thomas: Is oh it's a lot of their business model yeah

0:12:06 Tom: They have meetings about how to maximize that. Yeah

0:12:08 Eli: Young girls doing cartwheels.com or whatever the fuck it is. Right, so they can't ban kids from the platform because sometimes you want pictures that grandma can see and you don't care that people are jerking off to your kids or you don't know that people are jerken off to you kids right don't have to wait until your kids fucking getting railed to fucking report it so that you can get your kid off doing cartwheels .com so you go and it's basically my kid my property it's like a my kid my property sitch and they've got it on everything they've just got it all everything I

0:12:37 Tom: Let me ask you the corollary question then because I have I a strict opinion on this but like do you think that kids should like a parents like I should ever put their kids on sites like YouTube at all.

0:12:51 Eli: Mean I have such different values it's hard to I am so aware of the dangers of that that putting your kid on the internet beyond certain social circles to me seems irresponsible but also I'm a pretty crazy person about this like there's no social internet that I feel comfortable using at this point I wouldn'T have a facebook account if it wasn't how I communicate for work at all I would have just deleted it entirely if I didn't need it for work to

0:13:21 Thomas: I'm to the point where if it weren't for our amazing facebook groups then I would delete it it's so bad facebook is so bad but like that's the where we have the oa group the SIO group the dear old dad's group it's like the main place to still communicate with cool people

0:13:34 Eli: Hear how wrong we are um

0:13:38 Tom: Because I feel like differently about so I would post a picture of one of my kids onto my Facebook because my Facebook settings are locked down as tight as I can lock them down. Right. I'm not friends with anybody that I've not had dinner with. That's my rule for my Facebook. Like if I've never shared a meal with you. We're not friends on Facebook.

0:13:56 Eli: That why you unfriended me

0:13:58 Tom: I don't consider vegan food a meal. So

0:13:59 Eli: Guess true I didn't eat you weren't I weren't eating the same thing that's fair that's

0:14:00 Thomas: Tom had to check his bylaws to make sure he could still technically get you in on that deal I

0:14:07 Tom: So went through my whole Facebook thing at one point. I'm like, no, no. I just got rid of everybody in a purge. And so I've got like 120 people on my Facebook. It's very private. I got my privacy. So, I feel comfortable that if I share a picture of my kids there, the only people that are going to see it are people that I do actually know and trust. I like youtube you have no fucking control you just it's out there and it can get

0:14:27 Eli: You can make a video private which is like only the people with the link have it um

0:14:32 Tom: I guess you can do that so but why not then just put that on your private socials you know

0:14:33 Eli: Pretty locked down yeah you're

0:14:37 Thomas: I don'T have a point to make other than I just I want a voice that I'm I'm not like whatever this is I just like I don' t know I like maybe I and it could be that i' m insane I by all means please feel free to tell me but I just just like, don't seem to have the same concerns about when you're talking about just like posting, posting

0:14:53 Eli: People jerk off to your kids that's OK, I

0:14:55 Thomas: Pictures or videos or whatever of your kids. I'm not talking about like the kids themselves going on and doing whatever I'm like, I just don't know. I wonder how many parents this is. I don't Know if this is, is this everybody? Am I the weird one or

0:15:07 Eli: Think it's an increasing number of parents, but I think it sort of falls into cell phone territory. Like I think that's become a pretty dedicated line between the like my kids have cell phones. My kids don't have cell phone. And I don't necessarily know that there's a right or wrong answer in that. I obviously have my own very serious opinions about it, but like I don't think there's a scientifically correct answer. I think it's that people have said, hey, these are the dangers and risks. It's not worth it and other people have said these are the benefits it is worth it and

0:15:36 Thomas: But that's such a different thing to me. Like I, that's very influential on there. Like that's a, that's like my kid having a cell phone or or not is a huge difference in their lives. My posting a picture or not, and maybe it obviously depends on the age of your kids. My kids don't even know I do that or not. It has no effect on them whatsoever. So I just don't have the same, like, yeah,

0:15:56 Eli: A lot of people connect uh with their family and with their community by sharing pictures of their kids like we we share with our family a lot so we have a family thread which is how we share pictures and videos of max these days

0:16:08 Thomas: I know. I'm saying, so that's good. Like I'm seeing that there's no, like when you linked my mindset and concerns to like the cell phone one. And I'm just saying for me, those are two very different things. I do have huge concerns about cell

0:16:18 Eli: Definitely different yeah no I was I was just saying that it's

0:16:20 Thomas: Phones. I don't have the qualms about posting pictures of my kids.

0:16:22 Tom: I I think eli's saying it's probably the same subset of people It's probably the same cohort of people.

0:16:27 Eli: And that it is about the concerns outweighing them I was sort of talking about it as the kind of decision where concerns outweigh benefits not equating them in any way you're

0:16:36 Thomas: Sure. Yeah. No, I, and I just want to like, I'm just, clarifying, like, cause I'm trying to figure out, do I need to care about this? Like, am I supposed to like. Do I need to be worried about,

0:16:44 Tom: Yeah, I mean, like, I guess like, yeah, thought on it is like, because what, like I agree with you, like my kids aren't going to get like say I post a picture of Amon on my on my media. And let's say I had a wide open social media with thousands of people that I was connected to. Me, the question is like, why am I doing that? Like, I'm the one doing it. Like, what do I want from sharing that with this group of strangers? I can't come up with an answer that satisfies the possibility that somebody will do something to that photo that I don't like, right?

0:16:45 Eli: A pretty famous person I'd do it yeah

0:17:15 Tom: Like there's no benefit to me that outweighs the point five percent risk that sharing sharing a photo of my kid with a stranger might create. I'm 100 percent like, yeah, there's I don't do I think there's a high likelihood that something is going to go wrong. No. Do I think this is non -zero chance? Yeah. Do I get anything meaningful from sharing my photos of my kids with complete strangers? I don' t. the So risk benefit for me is just very straightforward. Forward. It's like, there's no benefit that's meaningful. There's a non -zero risk. there'S nothing on the other side of the scale in my view, but that's just how I see it. Like I just, your mileage is

0:17:49 Eli: Eventually

0:17:49 Tom: Allowed to vary.

0:17:49 Eli: Your kids will make their own decisions about that right they'll you know it's in the same way that like I am aware that there are people out there who might do not cash money things with pictures of my wife right because she posts a lot of of herself on the internet right

0:18:04 Thomas: Just never think about this. Does that something you guys think about?

0:18:08 Eli: We

0:18:08 Tom: It'S something that I think is very real. Like, you know, like there' there s more and more,

0:18:11 Eli: Have mutual friends with people whose wives have been like horribly sexually abused online like we've hung out and had dinner with those people

0:18:18 Thomas: That that's a different thing. We're not, that's not, but that's what you're talking about. You're saying someone's going to do something to a photo, but like it's not you're not posting nudes. So it's like if someone's gonna do something to a Photo that's not sexual in nature, then they could do that with any photo. So, it's why I'm just not going to Worry about you know what I mean? Like I'm not gonna that's that's if you had to worry about that that that's just takes up so much mental space I don't know how oh

0:18:41 Eli: Well yeah and I think it depends on the level of public figure you are and the amount of vitriol you draw um comfortable people feel attacking you right Right. So like that's something that I have noticed is that online spaces where people talk about our shows, people much more comfortable talking about me because I have been vulnerable in ways that I think a lot of people have not been who are part of our sort of universe. Universe and uh so people will uh things they wouldn't say about the other hosts they will make suggestions about getting rid of me or you know that this isn't okay or that I need to do this that or the other day right there is an openness there right and so I think it also depends on your mileage and sort of who you are as a public figure I think you are because of the space that you inhabit right this this space this reason space this logic space um think there are a lot less people coming you emotionally if that makes sense does that make sense or is that me just sort of projecting my own experience

0:19:39 Thomas: Maybe. But I also I also don't know that that's the difference. Like there was a time

0:19:43 Eli: Yeah

0:19:43 Thomas: When definitely people were like obviously coming after me. But

0:19:46 Eli: Course I mean that that's part of my thoughts yeah

0:19:49 Thomas: It feel a bit like when you talk about like your wife or something, doesn't that feel a little bit like you're so worried about a thing you're like have to cover your wife? Like it just feels too much like that to me.

0:19:58 Eli: So that that was the point that I was going to make is like I am aware that that's a risk but my wife is an adult who's made those decisions right and we've had those conversations right know like the I forget when the first time we got like an actual not threat but like someone who was obviously reveling in the distress of my wife I remember that very clearly the first times someone that I spoke about how sad anna was about the election and they were like hey I just want you you know I'm like really happy your wife is sad right now um yeah and I and I really internalized one for the first time that like there's no question I would kill that person given the opportunity right like if you find that guy dead, I did it but the other thing I realized is like okay me and anna need to sit down and understand that she is in the line of fire here right the bad times um were a few people who decided to like try to come after anna during the bad times um so that was an interesting experience especially given that we couldn't speak so much um and thomas I know you had uh sort of similar situation there uh so yeah I mean you know it's a it's an ongoing discussion and it's also like you know it's just the nature of livelihood right so like reaction any I have to attacks on my family mistreatment of my family uh mistreatament of me attacks on me they can be lied about in other spaces they can Be taken out of context they could be screenshotted right uh so that that is something that I have to sort of constant I have To pretend every conversation I ever have with someone is being re -reported in the worst light I try not to have one -on -one conversations I almost never have conversations in private or closed spaces right and like I think not everyone who's a public figure or a person on the internet should worry about that you think a lot of that comes from a place of over caution based on a a really really really bad experience um yeah I think everyone gets to make a choice about whether or not they care about those things you know and I don't think it makes if if you go and have a private conversation with the listener at a convention because you feel comfortable doing that I don't think you're irresponsible I don'T think you'RE being unsafe I DON'T think YOU'RE putting yourself in a position be attacked or treated badly I just know that I DONT do it and I so that's sort of how I feel about posting pictures of my kids is I know that they have experienced that people don't have good boundaries with me and my loved ones uh have an idea of who they are to me and who they are to my character on the podcast specifically and how roasty we can be and how pranky we can be. And I have lots of listeners who, lots, just not one or two. I have lots of visitors who are not good at respecting those boundaries. So

0:20:25 Tom: Jesus Jesus Christ. That's cool.

0:22:39 Eli: I have to make safety choices around that.

0:22:43 Tom: Add to that. A crazy person and I fully recognize that, but it just an objectively true thing that many of these social media algorithms are built in a way that encourage men to find content featuring children. There's been more than five exposés around this kind of stuff. So knowing that, I'm just like, me is just like, again, like the, the cost is so easy or so, or so zero for me, just like okay, well I just won't put my kids on the social internet, and then that goes away for, that evaporates entirely as both a concern, and honestly, I don't want to feed a model, I don't wanna be even one millionth of one percent responsible for feeding a business model that in in any way produces value by steering men towards content feeding, featuring children.

0:22:47 Eli: You are, Tom. That's great. Right.

0:23:37 Tom: My children will never be content that people can find online unless we are friends that have had dinner. Right. And that's it. Like, and that's, that's a right.

0:23:45 Eli: They're an adult who's making their own decision about, yeah, exactly.

0:23:47 Tom: And then they're not my kids. Like at that point, they're Not kid. I mean, they're my kids, but they're NOT kids. Right? So

0:23:50 Thomas: Huge news yeah

0:23:51 Eli: Thomas divorces officially from his children. He can't see them like an ex -girlfriend starting at age 18. Yeah. That's when he stops molesting them.

0:23:57 Thomas: That's so sad what I don't I don'T even

0:24:02 Tom: So I guess like, yeah.

0:24:07 Eli: I like it when I say something so horrible even Tom pauses for the edit. It's not just,

0:24:13 Thomas: Yeah wait for the edit wait for the audit yeah

0:24:15 Eli: Someone should cut that joke, please. I don't know who. I'm not sure which show it's on, but I hope whoever it is, they cut that one.

0:24:26 Tom: Someone edits these things, right? I don't listen to them. Someone edits them now. Yeah no

0:24:29 Eli: Lydia cut will keep it.

0:24:31 Thomas: Did I talk about future arlo on the show let's talk about the future Arlo shit oh wait did I it's the streamer that Arlo loves that I love too that's great oh

0:24:35 Tom: What do you mean yeah

0:24:41 Eli: You've mentioned it in our threads you've not talked about it on the show

0:24:43 Thomas: Shit I don't think this is a good this is good one to talk about on then um Arlo we watch uh videos on video games together I don'T let him do it without me um we was when he first wasn't able to play Breath of the Wild he was like I mean he was playing it but he wasn't any good at it and and I was like well you know maybe you could watch a little video to help help you or something and so I found something and I stumbled across this breath of the wild well mainly breath ofthewild but also other zeldas and stuff this guy who's streams it and puts it on youtube as well like the edited versions and he's delightful and he is future arlo like right away I just absolutely love this guy because like he's just so similar to arlo and it was really interesting to see like oh this is like a grown -up version of michael like in a way I was was getting, I, you know, it was a little weird. I understand. But like his speech patterns are very similar. The way he talks about like what he likes is very similar and he, and the things he likes are very similar And there's all these, like, it just, it became this moment where I was like, man, I like watching this guy and he looks like Arlo. And so we watch them together and I'm always like, Hey, let's watch future Arlo and it's our little joke. And he's a fantastic, the best thing about this guy is um his content is like totally kid appropriate uh it's fantastic like it's it's so it feels like such a rare thing on online on youtube

0:25:59 Thomas: And on whatever like I can just put on any it's Croton is his name on uh youtube and twitch uh I can put on

0:25:59 Eli: Of course yeah I about to say drop those fucking links baby

0:26:08 Thomas: Yeah I love him I any any and I can pull it on and it's like totally he's just happy and excited about playing breath of the wild and whatever you know it's just so it's so pure and fun and great and I love it and now here's the thing now all arlo wants to be is a game streamer and I've told him like hey I've streamed some games in my time you know like I have a I have a fucking twitch channel still like and I was like maybe somehow I'm trying to figure out what do you guys think how if and when if ever how should I handle that because it's all he wants wants to do he he loves it so much he talks about how like in his games he's like I'm gonna stream this you know so I tell him okay you gotta um like are you gonna try to be like a speed runner are you going to try to like you know do uh do jokes or do yeah I was like what are you what's going to be your way that your channel you know just to talk with him about into joke because he likes talking about it

0:26:41 Eli: Let him do it need a branding strategy yeah three seven

0:27:00 Thomas: You know

0:27:00 Eli: Years but look you start him now by the time he's 17 he's got a following he's ready to monetize we'll have him as a guest on gam we'll do a video game episode he can go do an appearance on cock this we'll do the whole family shut up tom wait when you're sick we

0:27:08 Thomas: My god so he'll even be like in he'll like in these video games so like here oh here's a thing I'm gonna do for my stream there's a really funny way that you can get this thing in Zelda I'm like damn dude that's awesome um should I do yeah

0:27:27 Eli: A listener who's got like a 13 14 year old who wanted to be a streamer uh they couldn't afford a microphone for him and he was like hey man like what's a good mic so we want to save up and I gave him one of my old mics man this kid I've never ever seen a happier child than this fucking hey here's this mic I happen to have fucking thing it was the best anyways he said the n -word that night on his stream it was pretty sad

0:27:42 Thomas: That's Awesome but

0:27:50 Tom: Never like a lot of reasons I would never let my kids be a creator until they became an adult like if they want to be a creative creator I think if my kids wanted to do a stream I would let them do it privately and let friends and family watch it, to get good at it, to practice at it. To enjoy

0:28:05 Thomas: That's interesting

0:28:05 Eli: Let's all sit around and watch your brother play mario jump

0:28:07 Tom: Doing it. But yeah, there's... I think being a creator, you know, I'm just thinking to what Eli just said, right? Like being a Creator opens you up to a lot of vitriol, a lot of exposure. It produces pressure. Like best case scenario, the kid becomes successful at being a Creater. Now he's a young kid with the pressure of production the pressure of like

0:28:35 Thomas: Isn't this gonna be true about anything our kids take up I mean like Like,

0:28:38 Tom: No what no 100 % not

0:28:40 Eli: One will ever email your accountant's son that he wants to kill all the snakes in the world

0:28:45 Tom: Well like but I think kids should not have jobs kids should Not have serious jobs like I don't think kids are equipped like a 16 year old that wants to work at fucking Burger King or Chipotle or whatever yeah who cares like no one is no one's gonna make a burrito and then somebody sends you a fucking you know dick pick or somebody sends you an email about how you should kill yourself

0:29:06 Eli: Using the chipotle app wrong I told you that and you're also not reading my emails to the Chipotle.

0:29:12 Thomas: To make it clear. No part of this when my kid is still a kid would be them handling like fan interaction of anything, you know, like that's not going to be,

0:29:19 Eli: You can't stop that, Thomas. Can't stop it.

0:29:21 Thomas: They're not, no. Yes, I can. They're not. He's not gonna have a, he's not Gonna have an email coming from you. That's pretty rich. He's like, he is not going To have the email access to the thing.

0:29:28 Eli: Because you don't have the fucking will. You don't know You don't have the stones. You don't have the stones to be in that Twitch chat.

0:29:33 Thomas: He's six. He doesn't even understand how any of this works. Like I would, the best he could do is I could put a camera on him and he could play video game. That's it. You can't handle that's

0:29:42 Tom: The time he's 13 or 14 right like I still think it's the same reason like I you know I completely oppose kids working in the television and film industry I don't think it's good for them I think we prioritize the production of content we want over the health and safety of the people that are involved in it. And I can't get behind that. Like, I just don't think that it is a good and healthy space for people to be in. Do I think it's every single time unhealthy? No. But do I think it has a high likely? It's like a lot of things. Like it's a risk benefit thing. I think the benefit is low. Ithink the risks are way too high. And there's a zero percent chance I would would let a kid, you know, cause again, like let's say they're successful and let's say the only pressure they're under is, Oh God, I got to produce another piece of content. Cause it's Wednesday. I don't want my kid thinking like that at 10, 11, 12 years old.

0:30:31 Eli: Did you see the

0:30:30 Thomas: Not how like when do you think that's I'm not doing that oh

0:30:31 Eli: Kidfluencers Netflix documentary?

0:30:33 Tom: No, I know. But I'm saying if they're successfully, they're going to be successful. That's why I'm seeing like best case scenario. They're successful. It creates and produces pressures.

0:30:36 Eli: You see it?

0:30:42 Tom: Yeah, did.

0:30:42 Eli: You say the Kidluencers documentary on Netflix?

0:30:44 Thomas: My god I need to watch that okay I gotta watch that I will yeah

0:30:45 Eli: My God, Thomas! You have to watch it. You have to watch it and you also have to make Lydia watch it

0:30:51 Thomas: Oh yeah she I don't make her do anything she probably already watched it oh

0:30:53 Eli: The best thing about that documentary is that I say I would destroy every electronic device in my house so much earlier than these pasty -faced parents. They're just like, so the fifth time a pedophile came to my house with a chocolate cake, I was like, we ain't got no room in the fridge for that. It's fucking nuts that, oh, of course.

0:31:09 Tom: Man. Is nuts and the thing is the parents get hooked on that money though that's part of it too like all of a sudden like they're paying their fucking mortgage on this money

0:31:18 Thomas: It's horrible God okay

0:31:18 Eli: And let's come up with Arlo's streamer name because I started to make one up, but I need our help after. Needs to be like a cool sort of fantasy, like Arnazaroth or something, you know?

0:31:29 Thomas: What

0:31:29 Tom: What is that that's that sounds you just you're just now you're you're just making sounds at it yeah

0:31:34 Eli: Argo Bargo.

0:31:37 Thomas: I got the Tom take. Eli, can I get your take on how I should handle Arlo streaming when, if ever, how and why and how and who and what?

0:31:46 Eli: Think you should set him up with a fake stream and you should be like, all right, buddy, you're online and I'll read you the comments and then you should just be like cool, man. Loving this. Great jump. And you should just lie to him. You should lie to And then when he's done, he'll be like, can I see the comments? And you'll be, like, I'm sorry, buddy. They go away when the stream is over. Go to heaven.

0:32:04 Thomas: Is true that I could easily have him just make could have him start just doing stream videos offline. Yeah, that's a good point. I should do that.

0:32:10 Eli: Just into the void.

0:32:12 Thomas: I will.

0:32:10 Tom: Because like that that's the thing

0:32:12 Thomas: I want to add in.

0:32:12 Tom: Thomas it's like what does he get out of it hold on hang on a second so like like not not a not hold on let me finish It's a non -rhetorical question. If he is not interacting with comments or fans, then what is he getting out of the public of it, right?

0:32:14 Thomas: Well, what does he get out of it? Yeah. Yeah. No. It wouldn't have to be public. Yeah. No, you're right.

0:32:27 Tom: So then it's just streaming at home, and then that's fine.

0:32:30 Eli: Me and Tom will tune in.

0:32:32 Thomas: I will say, OK, to it that he's, guess you I still never officially got that diagnosis, but like probably an autistic kid.

0:32:38 Eli: Hey, would you like it from me?

0:32:39 Thomas: Yeah, he's, yeah,

0:32:39 Eli: As someone who's been around your kid for zero minutes, would you like him from me personally?

0:32:41 Thomas: He said he's on the spectrum and this is the thing that he loves and is his special interest and he really, really loves it. And it's and it's yeah, I don't think it has to be a public thing. But I do think that eventually I wouldn't see it as a bad thing if he could do it like for friends or something. I don't know. I'm not like, I don'T, I also don't really see it as a, like Oh, that's true. Once the switch two comes out, it's all built in.

0:33:05 Eli: To baby c he just pushes the c buttons his buddies will jump on and they'll be like good jump arlo

0:33:10 Thomas: Shit. Well, there you go. Now everybody's a streamer. We're fucked.

0:33:14 Tom: I I I

0:33:14 Eli: That literally nintendo solved this problem they were sitting around and the japanese version of tom was like you're gonna eat your fluids and they were like all right guys what if when you push the c button your friends were watching you play video games and they were like sold is that okay see japanese tom

0:33:22 Tom: Love that I love that's the thing is like a friends and family only stream I would fully support a stream that is non -public a friends and family lockdown stream I would support like I said let let him get good at it, let him practice it, decide if he actually likes it, give him some interactions that are gonna be entirely positive, no pressure, no ability to create money out of it so you take out the incentive structure there so that it's just maximally healthy. And then when he becomes an adult, if that's something he wants to do, he's got years of a skillset that he can port into a public space. I would fully support. So I'm not like, don't turn the camera on. I'm saying like limit who's allowed to view it though. Like

0:33:34 Eli: That's what it does and thomas let me throw this out there here's an offer as a friend as a brother be his first troll you tell me when to show up and I'll feel like um lame and then he could defeat me you know how the guy hey guys ever watch that youtube video I know tom I lost you uh of the the guy who is a rocket league, like champion. And he just finds people who are being shitty in like rocket league general games. One of the things that those people do is they're like one V one me. I'm so much better than you. So then he won V ones them and he just destroys them. Cause he's a champion at rocket league.

0:34:13 Tom: Do not take him up on this offer

0:34:29 Thomas: What is this?

0:34:43 Eli: It's great.

0:34:38 Thomas: Yeah. That's funny. I got to watch this. I love rugby because it's a game I play all all the time

0:34:45 Eli: It's awesome. There's also a lady who is, um, counter -strike world champion and she speaks and they're are like because it's a super poisonous environment and she's like okay it's me versus everyone else on the team and then she just fucking slams them and it rules so hard I can drink it from a milkshake it's delicious it's all nah

0:34:54 Thomas: That sounds great oh my god that's so good yeah that does sound incredible so the only thing the only question I had though is like I was thinking oh I could um him on with my game stream so I'm never gonna have him manage his own thing he's six he can't do any of that but my thought was can he come on my stream play a game with me or is that too far for this tom rules

0:35:23 Eli: It's too many weirdos who could watch it I

0:35:24 Tom: I wouldn't I wouldn 'y yeah

0:35:26 Thomas: He he could be not on camera right because

0:35:29 Eli: Mean then what's the point is he getting the benefit I

0:35:30 Thomas: He's playing the game no he's paying the game he just he wants to play the game and yeah like he's planning the game

0:35:33 Eli: Think that's okay he's

0:35:35 Tom: I don't see that yeah I actually don't I don 'y have a problem with that

0:35:35 Thomas: Talking like what does that matter

0:35:35 Eli: Not on camera just a kid's a kid poor Zelda playing. He is

0:35:38 Thomas: Well that'd be fun I I think another reason honestly I want to do it is because he is so funny and it's also just like more filmed memories with the kids for me like if I like if I want to get his little insights on video games and I also think legitimately this is just like his favorite thing and I do think for now absolutely there's no it doesn't need to be online or any of that stuff but I do Think there will come an age where if he's still into this it's going to be more interesting question where he's going to really want to do it and maybe we'll have to you know follow up later later on

0:35:50 Eli: Very funny. It's true. Don't think I got to talk about this when we were talking about the babysitting, but during Remselmania, which was me trying to calm Remy down, Remselvania, which is me tryingto calm Rmy down, Arlo, who of course is being angelic the entire time, was making different characters in Wii Golf. So he would just, he oh so politely every seven minutes be like um can I show you this guy his name is mooper his brother's name is pooper and his eyebrows are where his butt is and I'd be like that's a fucking great bit dude and he'd belike I know it is I'm gonna take him through the exact seven paces I took the last 12 me's through and uh then I'll be creating a new one the

0:36:28 Thomas: It's so funny yeah

0:36:29 Tom: That's fucking great

0:36:54 Thomas: That's exactly what he's doing

0:36:56 Eli: The most insistent he was all night like the closest he came to childlike behavior is he was like look how fat he is and I was like Like, I had Remy in a good headlock and he was starting to pass out. So I didn't look for a second. He was like, and I was like sorry. And he was like look how fat he is. And I was, like, he's very fat. Thank you. Then Remy reflipped me. He, like banged me against the wall and flipped me over his shoulder. And we had to start all over again. Quite an elbow on that kid. All right, gentlemen. Before we go. I was sitting in the bar the other day. And this old guy next to me starts saying, biff, pow, bam. And so I ignore him. And he says, bif. Pow bam I ignore him finally he goes biff pow bam and the bartender goes hey man get out of here we don't have any of that in here he walks out of the bar and I go hey man what was that he goes you didn't hear those those were fighting words all

0:37:13 Thomas: I I stupid

0:37:54 Tom: My god I kind of love that one actually

0:38:02 Clip: Want to meet sexy DILFs in your area? Email the dads at DearOldDads .com or, better yet, send us a message on Patreon. You can follow us on all social media by checking the links in the show notes. And if you need more podcasts in your life, you can find Tom on Cognitive Dissonance, Thomas on Serious Inquiries Only, and Eli on Godawful Movies and all the Puzzle in the Thunderstorm shows. Dear Old Dads is edited and produced by my favorite DILf, tom smith who also wrote and recorded the intro music which is used with his permission this podcast is a production of daddy issues llc copyright 2022 all rights reserved

0:38:45 Tom: Ate a chewing. That's

0:38:46 Eli: Feet boys big step on pies dot com was

0:38:50 Thomas: Fuck, I have no sense of smell.

0:38:53 Eli: Name is mooper his brother's name is pooper and his eyebrows are where his butt is and