DOD102: Strong Silent Types

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:29 Tom: Welcome to Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's a big boy, damn it. I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen. Don't know if I'm a big boy, adequately but I'm sized boy, from what I understand.

0:00:42 Eli: Think you're a

0:00:42 Thomas: I was gonna say I'm

0:00:42 Eli: Pretty big boy, Tom. If I remember you're correct, I know you've lost a bunch of weight and started biking like a lad out delivering newspapers since we met, but I'm guessing

0:00:43 Thomas: Uh yeah

0:00:44 Tom: Just... I've not lost a pound, Eli Bosnick. Nick. Have not lost a pound, even through all that biking, not one pound.

0:00:52 Thomas: See

0:00:56 Eli: If I were to line you up with a bunch bunch of other boys in an attempt to make a throne of boys you'd be the biggest boy the biggest buffest boy. I couldn't hide you in an elementary school among other boys. Oh.

0:01:01 Thomas: Who's the biggest boys yeah I think so.

0:01:04 Tom: The biggest boy. No, I don't think, I think I might stand out just a touch, just a touch. Right. So I think we're going to continue our examination of the world of Reddit from the men of Reddit questionnaire about emasculation. Just to remind our listeners from the prior episode, the question at hand was, what is the most unintentionally emasculating thing that women have done or said to you? And again, fascinating that the question is not what is most unintentional emasculating thing has happened to you, right? It's that women have done, or said, to you. I love the misogyny out of the gate. So that's great. But is there there anything more emasculating, Eli, than the auto ads?

0:01:50 Eli: Nothing truly being cucked by the auto ads in your podcast listening experience. For what are the auto adds but the cock cage of podcast listening? But you can finally find the key to to the cock cage of our advertisements by heading over to patreon.com/dearolddads for as little as a dollar a episode. You will get a commercial-free version of the show. You'll also get monthly bonus episodes and an extended parenting story at the end of almost every episode because Tom doesn't care that much about his job. Check it out over at patreon.co forward slash dear old dad.

0:02:01 Thomas: Now

0:02:20 Tom: Jesus.

0:02:32 Thomas: I'm just dreading the incorporation of the cock cage into the penis contest from last episode.

0:02:36 Eli: Yep. Yep. Oh, yeah. Hey, big shout. Thank you, everyone who submitted. Did not realize that white supremacist Reddit would get their sort of hands on that. And so obviously that going viral on Stormfront was never intention. And then, of course, they sort of swarmed our Patreon with pledges just far above what all of you do. So we made

0:02:56 Thomas: Yeah. So we're actually a white supremacist podcast now.

0:02:58 Eli: Yeah, We made a bunch of white supremacist content in response, and and and that was on us, that was on us, um, and so you know we've been through the um

0:03:00 Tom: Christ. As

0:03:07 Thomas: And we're not sorry. No, I'm scared. We know where the check is coming from now, yeah exactly we are now every podcast on the internet

0:03:10 Tom: Long as the check's cash, I'm not sorry yeah Yeah.

0:03:08 Eli: Yeah yeah we exactly we're all the other podcasts starring three white boys, yes, exactly, non

0:03:15 Thomas: Yeah yeah

0:03:20 Tom: So, this answer question, to the horrible misogynist question, when I was on a college visit, I, a female, played a pretty tough looking dude who was on the same trip in air hockey. I clobbered him and his friends made fun of him for it for the rest of the trip. I felt kind of bad for him, but I'll be damned if I'm going to purposely lose at air hockey. I actually thought this one was interesting because it's not the guy who's saying he was emasculated, but what she's doing is pointing out the way that other men will emasculate you for losing to a girl, right, that whole like are you lost to a girl, like, okay, yeah, like if it's air hockey, yeah, I will lose to everybody, like girl, boy, just the the other side of the air hockey table with nobody else playing it. Like I am definitely going to lose sexy, sexy Fox.

0:03:42 Thomas: Yeah for sure yeah yeah sexy fox that one's

0:03:58 Eli: -binary person demisexual absolutely yeah sexy fox, yeah but that is a that is weird thing, though, because the dynamic that creates, right, allowed to play a friendly game of X with men, but with women you suddenly have to go really hard. Have anyone ever experienced this?

0:04:07 Thomas: Interesting, oh

0:04:07 Tom: Yeah.

0:04:21 Eli: Not

0:04:21 Thomas: You oh my god, this is, I now no

0:04:24 Eli: You fucking psycho baby you go hard against everyone, including the sexy foxes

0:04:26 Thomas: No no I know, almost everyone Everyone listening right now is going to be like, oh, yeah, Eli's not in society. He's not a member of society because this is a very normal thing like this. This happens all the time. Like as a kid, there's the constant. That was actually most of my brain was taking up on.

0:04:30 Eli: No

0:04:35 Tom: I know. Right.

0:04:42 Eli: That's what I'm saying it does happen all the time, and it's fucking bizarre, you're

0:04:43 Tom: Yeah, as a boy doing a physical thing, you can't lose to a girl. You're like, if you do, everybody is going to make fun of you.

0:04:50 Thomas: Yeah, you guys aren't sportsmen. This Yeah,

0:04:54 Tom: Yeah well,

0:04:54 Thomas: This was like all of society. This is called culture in my town, of capital of California. Uh, this is what mattered to us was, could you be good at sports, could you beat a girl at sports, would a girl beat you at sports. That's all that mattered to me, somehow. That's it, all it was, weird, yeah.

0:05:11 Tom: Well, and I will say like, I don't know how else to phrase this, but in defense of the people, and I'll raise my hand and say it is me also, in defense Of people who have sort of grown up in and sort of been like absorbed into the soup of toxic masculinity. And I recognize that I have ideas or maybe not ideas, but feelings that are informed by that culture.

This you kind of can't blame people for feeling like, oh shit, I'm not allowed to lose to a girl because because I'll get made fun of, like, feeling is not, it comes from somewhere, right, and it comes from other men, like I'm not saying it comes from women, it comes from other men, but like, the reinforcement of toxic masculinity is a self-perpetuating vicious cycle of like, males like using patriarchy against other males, dudes like hurt other dudes and make it kind of difficult until you reach a certain amount of independence to be able to pull yourself self out of this nonsense. Like, right? When we're young, we are not socially, financially, or otherwise independent in any meaningful way. So you just living in this, right. And you're

0:05:43 Thomas: For sure

0:06:15 Tom: Like, no,

0:06:15 Eli: Just out there beating girls for your own sense of autonomy

0:06:16 Thomas: Yeah

0:06:18 Tom: No. But you know what I'm saying? Like, you're going to have feelings about like losing to a girl because you're gonna get made fun of. Right. So like you're going to get mocked and ridiculed. And the next time you are in a contest with a girl, you're to be like, fuck, I can't lose because it's a girl. It's being reinforced in a way that's It's very difficult to like separate yourself from well,

0:06:19 Eli: Right

0:06:23 Thomas: Yeah or you hit the age where where you can be like, oh, I can act like I'm tastefully losing on purpose to flirt.

0:06:41 Eli: Where you got to be like, hey, I, uh, why don't we just play for fun, no need to keep score, and they're like, we're playing chess, and you're like, ah, shit, yeah.

0:06:50 Tom: I, have you guys ever seen where the guy is losing legit and then he starts to lose on purpose so that he can lose like

0:06:54 Thomas: Yes, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

0:06:56 Tom: Male gracefully, right? Like that's like the, oh yeah, I obviously let the girl win.

0:06:57 Thomas: Yep. Yep.

0:06:58 Eli: I've been around Thomas, I've seen it that's that, hey look I like to poke fun at my friend Thomas, there's nothing less likely, Tom, woman could like fall down and be seriously injured and Thomas is in the background just shooting twos, and now I'm 24 points up, 26 points up, the baby is coming, well, that baby's about to be born to a fucking loser, 28 points up, 30 points up, can you hear me now, dad?

0:07:02 Thomas: Oh, shut the fuck up. There's nothing less me than losing on. Yeah.

0:07:34 Thomas: It's also not right, but that's fine. Uh, addition to this, I kind of wanted to talk about just your, the way you sold it in the beginning, Tom, I wasn't sure, I felt like this premise is necessarily misogynist in any way, I feel like you, okay, set our, you, possibly overly evolved sense of masculinity, not really being anything aside, take just what would be considered the average concept of masculinity, but not like super unhealthy.

You know, I don't think it's unreasonable, reasonable to, you know, like, oh, there's going to be times when the person who can devastate you the most in that accidentally is a girl, a woman, right? I mean, I feel like this premise is maybe how it's used in this thread is obviously a different story, but like, I feel like it's like how no one's a better, um, insulter of anyone accidental, my mom turns into Eli lie accidentally.

Like, she'll just deliver the most solid accidental roasts out of pure cluelessness. It's like, I, the people who can be unintentionally insulting in that way, I, that see as a misogynist thing. It's just that that's where our values, we're getting our values by measuring it against what women think of our masculinity. Don't you think? Yeah.

0:07:37 Tom: Well, yeah, but I guess I feel like, like, women sort of like on the spot for being the sort of like arbiters or deciders of our conception of our masculine value, our masculine worth, is, I feel like that is pretty misogynist. Like, are not responsible for our masculine, masculine insecurities, right? Like our masculine insecurites are our own fucking problem, that this is a great example of it, right, that are reinforced not by the actions of women but are oftentimes reinforced by the reactions of other men, as part of, and the same thing is about the dick size obsession, right, the dick size obsession is a good example, well,

0:09:17 Thomas: Okay. Yeah. I see this as like the the from the mouths of babes thing, that's what I see it as, like, it's not saying they, it's their fault, and maybe, maybe if you're reading the Reddit thread that way, that's interesting to talk about

0:09:32 Eli: You're saying that women are like children, that kids say the wildest things is what you're saying and and you're there Bill Cosby, that's exactly the statement I'm making

0:09:38 Tom: Let

0:09:34 Thomas: Exactly yes no I'm saying that yes I endorse all of that, that's exactly what I want said yeah no I see it is akin to that phrase where it's, it's like the people who can, you know, reveal that devastating truth are going to be women. I don't see it as like that's because we're blaming them for our masculinity issues.

0:09:46 Eli: Yeah.

0:10:00 Tom: Hear what you're saying, I would offer that if you phrase this question different, maybe, I don't know, but my strong inclination is that if your phrase this question is, what is the most emasculating thing that has ever been done to you? I would bet my next seven paychecks that it would all be examples of things women have done to men, right?

0:10:19 Tom: Because even Though most of the emasculation, like dick size emasculation, is really men hurting men. This example is really men hurting men. Right. Any amount of like actual introspection would reveal to us that most of the ways that we feel emasculated are not like women emasulating us. But I think we put the blame on women. Right. It kind of comes back to the thing that I had said in the, or referenced in the first episode, is like my conception of my masculinity is inherently tied to the way that my masculinity interfaces with women through this social sexual dynamic. It just is. But like most of the idea of emasculation is actually created and reinforced by other dudes. Does that make sense?

0:10:13 Thomas: I think so, too. Yeah, no, you're right.

0:11:05 Thomas: Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah, I think. So, you tell me if you have this feeling, too, I almost feel like if there were examples from men that that, like, oh, this is a time when a man emasculated me. I don't think people would – well, I say people. I don't think dudes would talk about that very much. Like, I don't think they would be open about that.

0:11:05 Tom: Yeah right because it would be embarrassing differently

0:11:24 Thomas: Yeah, but it's weird because, like, the same thing – this also embarrassing. You know, like this is – if you're posting and, oh, this thing the woman said emasculated me. But as I' m thinking through it in my mind, for some reason, I think to your dude, that's less embarrassing. That's within the realm of, like – oh, this can be, like funny, ha-ha. Ah, whereas the examples of men emasculating you are going to be like, oh, no, this is like my actual trauma that I have, you know?

0:11:24 Tom: Well I think part of that might come from in these circumstances, like the dick size thing again, like woman and like when she like laughs at his flaccid dick, right, it casts her in the role of a villain. Right. So it doesn't examine like, hey, like why are you weird about like your flaccid dick?

0:12:03 Eli: Why are you so bad at sex?

0:12:03 Tom: Right, yeah Right, like instead it sort this of allows women to be cast as the villain, and so we're allowed to reveal our, our insecurities, as long as our insecuries are of brought up.

0:12:14 Thomas: Hmm.

0:12:15 Eli: Blame women. Yeah.

0:12:16 Tom: Yeah. Like if there's a way that it's a woman's fault, then I can be vulnerable.

0:12:19 Thomas: Gotcha.

0:12:19 Tom: Right.

0:12:19 Eli: Yeah, because because I think the difference would be that if you were talking about a time a man emasculated you, you probably wouldn't be talking about a problem of all men. But all of these hint at a problem of all women.

0:12:19 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:12:20 Tom: Yeah, right.

0:12:33 Tom: Yes. Yeah I think that's a good way to put it for

0:12:36 Thomas: That's so interesting. I don't know why I don'T read it that way. Read it as a problem with women? Like if a woman, oh. Okay. Yeah. I don't know.

0:12:36 Tom: Sure.

0:12:36 Eli: All right here. So like what I would say is that these comments, to clarify, clarify these comments, are all like, "Don't you hate it when women laugh at your flaccid penis?" As opposed to like, "One time a guy gave me an atomic wedgie." You're not like, "Yeah, man, men are fucking the worst, they turn into bullies as teens," whereas all of these smack of, and if you look at the replies to them, especially the ones that agree, they're all very like, "Oh yeah, happened to me too, dude," like this is the way of the the lady, this is what they do to us, they take our penises and and they hide them in their witch cauldrons.

0:12:53 Tom: Right, right, yeah. They're witch jars.

0:13:17 Eli: All right. Let's, guys, enough of this allyship. All right, let's appeal to our new listeners, the white supremacists. What's up, brothers?

0:13:17 Thomas: Yeah. Oh,

0:13:26 Tom: Jesus Christ.

0:13:27 Eli: I want to talk about one that I actually have heard women say, not, like, in my life, but that I've heard repeated by women that I think is a part of toxic masculinity delivered via women, and it's this one. Quote, "'I can't respect a man once I've seen him cry.'"

0:13:27 Tom: Oh

0:13:44 Thomas: God.

0:13:45 Tom: My God. You heard somebody say that in real life though?

0:13:47 Eli: Yes, I have actually known several very strong, very independent women for whom their sense of masculinity has been toxic stoicism, or they have confided that they're really only interested in a guy who is a certain kind of way, or a certain, you know, level of bad or whatever it is. And I don't want to turn this into, like, they don't like nice guys, right? Which is the toxic masculinity response to this kind of thing. But there is a toxic undercurrent that I think has been reinforced by some, though no by means all women. Hashtag not all women, of this, like men need to behave a certain way to earn masculinity from me.

0:14:00 Thomas: Yeah.

0:14:14 Tom: Right.

0:14:31 Tom: Oh, yeah, absolutely. I would agree with that. That's would have it's not that I have never cried in front of Haley, but like I would it it has to be something that like, is a big enough deal. So like, I'll give you an example. Like can like read a poem or like watch a video and be just moved by it. And by being moved by it, she might cry a little bit, you know? And that's just like a normal human response.

0:14:38 Eli: You're too busy holding hands. You can't.

0:14:39 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:14:58 Tom: It's not like she's sad.

0:14:58 Thomas: You' re describing humans.

0:14:59 Tom: She just was moved by something. I, in the same moment might be next to her reading the same poem, right. Or listening to the same thing because we're we're watching it together and I may also be moved, but I would a hundred percent hold back those tears. If I felt a welling up, there's no way. Cause it doesn't warrant it in my mind. I'm like, no, this isn't, this does not rise to the level.

0:14:59 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:15:22 Eli: You haven't earned the permission to cry.

0:15:24 Tom: No. No. And I know that's fucked up.

0:15:25 Thomas: It hasn't earned your tears. That

0:15:27 Tom: Yeah. I, it I doesn't rise to level of breaking that stoicism.

0:15:27 Thomas: Is so unhealthy. Yeah, I really should go to therapy over that. Yeah.

0:15:33 Tom: Like I, I just wouldn't do it.

0:15:29 Eli: So wildly unhealthy. Tom, we're actually podcasting. I know you think you're in therapy right now, and you should definitely talk about this there in therapy immediately. This is like I cut my hand and the bleeding won't stop levels of you should go to therapy.

0:15:37 Tom: I don't

0:15:45 Eli: Like, wrap your emotions in ice and go to the hospital.

0:15:45 Tom: Think it's that bad. I it's not like I'm like choking back these like hard tears or anything, but I'm just like, Oh no.

0:15:55 Thomas: That's so funny.

0:15:57 Tom: Like just for

0:15:56 Eli: No, you've gotten really good at not allowing yourself to feel feelings over the air.

0:15:58 Thomas: Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's a learned behavior, Tom. For some reason, and I don't know why, for some reason when I was 20 something, clicked in my brain because I was absolutely that. It was not only that, it was if there was anything that could be remotely emotional happening in our family or in the vicinity, we had to actively mock it rather than show any tears or emotion. Like that, we, we that completely unhealthy relationship with emotions in my family.

And so that was me until I don't know why, maybe I just at my core I've kind of always been sensitive, but at a certain age I was just like, wait, why am I doing that? Like, what is that? Who's that for? You know, like what. It It was one thing when it's like, oh yeah, I'm in my family and my, you know, my dad's going to roast me if or somebody, some of my siblings will roast, we'll roast each other if anybody's sad or crying in any way. But then once I was on my own, I was like, who, who am I doing this for? No one's watching me. Like this is, this

0:16:01 Tom: Sure. Yeah.

0:16:52 Thomas: Is just me. Like I get, if I feel like something is going to make me cry, what, what is the harm? What is the bad thingy if I just cry? What does that do? Like, what's the harm.

0:16:52 Tom: That's a great That's a great question.

0:17:03 Tom: Yeah. Think that that's exactly the question, right? Think that there's an answer to it, the that question that started this part of the conversation alluded to, like, who is it for? We know that a certain not insignificant segment of the population values that stoicism. So there is an audience. Who is that for? Well, it's for all of the people that like, will feel like I don't respect somebody that cries. So is an answer. It's a toxic, shitty answer. I'm just, I mean, I'll say that out loud.

0:17:19 Thomas: Oh, I know, but how many things are there in your life, Tom, you personally, where people want one thing and you're like, well, fuck that, I don't give a shit But then in this thing, you have this feeling of, yeah, no, I do need to maintain stoicism because some people might react a certain way, don't you think?

0:17:45 Tom: Yeah, for sure. Like I'm not defending it at all. Like, I think it's fucking like, really, I'm just saying that there's an answer for the question. And the, and the question is

0:17:47 Thomas: Oh, okay, Yeah. Mm -hmm.

0:17:50 Eli: Bring Haley down and cry in front of her right now then. Do it. It.

0:17:53 Thomas: I cried for this right now

0:17:54 Eli: You watch Danny and Andy by StoryCorps right now in front of Haley on our podcast. You fucking do it.

0:17:52 Tom: No,

0:17:56 Thomas: You watched the first part of up right now and looked me in the eyes while I watch you watch it

0:18:03 Eli: Yes. First 10 minutes up right now.

0:18:02 Tom: But, but I, will also point out, cause I think this is also interesting. So So if say we're, we're doing that same activity and Haley is moved and she starts to cry a little bit, Haley will apologize for crying too. She'd be like, I don't know why I'm crying. And I, and I will always tell her, I'm like, Hey, it's okay to be moved. And I hear myself saying it right.

0:18:25 Thomas: Not not me but like other yeah it was

0:18:28 Tom: I hear, and like, It'm like, it's OK to be move by beautiful things. And I'll be like, I want you to be moved by beautiful thing. And then, in my mind, I'm like, yeah, you. And

0:18:38 Thomas: Not, yeah, exactly. No, exactly.

0:18:40 Eli: That I can relate to. That

0:18:40 Thomas: Yeah

0:18:42 Tom: Have to say it to you, I would never show it to you. I've broken a lot of teeth. I'm just saying.

0:18:47 Eli: Yeah. I assure you I was moved and then I clenched my teeth real, real hard and now I'm this again. We're all chill and cool here. No, that I absolutely relate to, which again, super unhealthy, working it out with a therapist, that thing of like, no, no, no. You should have this nice, healthy thing. And then your loved one's like, what about you? And you're like, don't fucking do that. Just have the cake.

0:19:13 Eli: I made you a pie. I don't not take attendance. You eat your cake and I will die of stress.

0:19:12 Thomas: Yeah yeah yeah Yeah.

0:19:13 Tom: Oh, 100 percent wait

0:19:22 Thomas: What?

0:19:23 Eli: All right, next up, um, this is a weird one because this, this is like, I'm just gonna read it. I'm gonna read quote, "When a girlfriend tells you they always fake cum. When my ex gf did that, I felt so emasculated that I was uncomfortable with the fact I could orgasm every time. Now that we're broken up, she tells her friends about it. Even feels bad."

0:19:51 Thomas: I don't even understand that.

0:19:52 Tom: Was fake, so so, to understand, I'm trying to parse this horrible writing. Nobody should be allowed to answer Reddit questions unless they can write like a coherent sentence but So she told him she was faking it, and then he felt bad about it, and now, now she's telling her friends.

0:19:55 Thomas: Yeah.

0:19:58 Eli: Yeah no, there should be a literacy test, I agree. No, He felt emasculated by the fact that she was faking it, and also uncomfortable with the fact that he could orgasm every time, that knows that, that men and women have different body parts and different orgasm.

0:20:22 Thomas: Different. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

0:20:25 Eli: Like that's the, the, I mean, look, there's a reason why she was faking it. The amount that you need to not know about how sex work for men and women to be like, yeah, I mean it was always great for me. I don't know what was different. Like, that's fucking, sometimes you've, come you've in your fucking sleep. That's how easy it is to come as a guy, my guy. Like yeah. The fact that he was like, yeah, I was pretty insulted when someone said their needs weren't being met and I didn't do anything about it is just buck fucking what. And like, what a weird category of toxic masculinity too, where someone's like, hey, uh, this thing we do together, like when we play board games, um, you just sort of slam all the pieces around the board and I don't get to enjoy it, and you're like, yeah, no, that's really insulting to me, what you just said.

0:21:10 Thomas: Yeah.

0:21:10 Eli: Um, you should probably not say that to people. That's um, I think that's mean. The thing you said, and that's the only behavior that needs to change.

0:21:14 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:21:19 Tom: Well, much is embedded in that time? The fact that she feels like she needs to fake it rather than communicate her needs. Like the whole idea of like faking an orgasm, like, is that's ego stroking for dudes. That's all that is. Like women are poorly served sexually by faking an orgasm, there are poorly serviced in that moment, and they will be poorly served in the next moment.

0:21:37 Eli: Yeah.

0:21:36 Thomas: Best best case scenario is like, maybe they're just not feeling it that particular time and are like trying to make you feel better, I guess that'd be like the best case scenario. But if it's every time, did they say every time?

0:21:39 Eli: They're

0:21:48 Tom: That's what I mean it's still an ego stroke, right, but

0:21:51 Thomas: Yeah, no, that's yeah. There's no, there's

0:21:53 Eli: Yeah. It's not like they're lying there and they're like, you know what? This is a great opportunity for an acting exercise.

0:21:53 Tom: Still an eco stroke. It's

0:21:54 Thomas: No good answer for that. Yeah.

0:22:00 Eli: I would love this for, this is for me. This is for you.

0:22:04 Tom: Still such a weird ego stroke that it's like, okay, if she's just like not feeling it, but she's like, "Oh, no, but I don't want him. I can't just tell him, hey, like, just, just not feel it's just not going to happen for me today. We still had a good time. Love you." Like, because she can't say that, because like dudes just can't hear that.

0:22:17 Thomas: Well, yeah, but okay.

0:22:19 Tom: Right. Because it's like.

0:22:20 Thomas: I don't want to turn into fucking defending the men, but like, I know for a fact that when women

0:22:23 Eli: Oh, all right. Tom tells us about anal last week and this week Thomas tells us why he makes the women in his life fake it every single time. He's given notes at the end no I didn't really believe it I

0:22:26 Thomas: Yeah no no I was gonna say yeah I'm curious if you guys have experienced this too or no, like, Noah know, have female friends who have said this, like, if a dude can't stay or get hard with them, they interpret that as like that's hard for them to not feel bad about themselves about you know yeah that feels like a rejection and so in the same way I'm just saying like, like the best case scenario for the faking it thing is, well, I'm not feeling it tonight, but I don't want the dude to feel that kind of rejection. So this is easier. I don't know. I was just trying to make a best case for, yeah.

0:22:49 Tom: Like a rejection. Yeah.

0:23:04 Tom: Yeah, I think that that's probably part of it.

0:23:05 Eli: Feel like that's still an ego stroke though I'm

0:23:07 Tom: Right.

0:23:07 Thomas: Well, It is, but sex is an ego stroke. Do you think all of sex is like, I'm only going to display for my partner the genuine exact things I'm feeling? And you know, like that's how you be a good sex partner is like you're your partner's ego. Go, like, that's literally what a lot of sex is, right? I mean, am I crazy, so

0:23:24 Eli: Gonna go ahead and say you're the crazy one here T-Dog I've

0:23:27 Thomas: You don't think you wouldn't you the way that women behave in sex or men behave in sex as kind of trying to make the other person feel good about themselves during this experience

0:23:37 Eli: Would not I would not t -doc Thomas Tom because I could be the crazy ones right now there's only two votes on the field I need you to tell us which one of us here is what

0:23:38 Thomas: No really yeah

0:23:46 Tom: I like to some degree there's a performative aspect to sex, right? Right. So I have always felt like the performative aspect to sex is like you're performing activities to make somebody feel good physically. I never thought of it as an ego stroke physically,

0:23:55 Thomas: Exactly that's clearly, all I'm saying that's

0:23:58 Eli: Are you guys talking about what

0:24:09 Thomas: Oh, oh. Oh. You.

0:24:09 Eli: Are are you guys talking do you

0:24:10 Tom: Though. I'm saying physically.

0:24:11 Thomas: So, You only try to make them feel good physically and not not mentally. You're like, I'm not going to do that.

0:24:16 Tom: Well, I like

0:24:16 Eli: Guys mean role play are you talking about role play see

0:24:19 Tom: Like I'm trying to think of an example. Like I don't think like somebody like moaning louder than they would naturally moan.

0:24:25 Thomas: That's exactly what I'm talking about.

0:24:26 Tom: Right, so I think that's nonsense like I think people should not do that, like I think that is like, yeah, a hundred percent.

0:24:28 Thomas: That's, that's what?

0:24:32 Eli: Okay tom is team eli thank

0:24:33 Thomas: Okay.

0:24:34 Tom: Yeah, I am team Eli on this one, I think people should actively not do that, yeah,

0:24:35 Thomas: Wait, hold on. Hold on. Hold on, hold on. If you're, if, okay, this is new show. I am.

0:24:42 Tom: I love how awkward this feels

0:24:44 Thomas: No, no.

0:24:44 Tom: Right now.

0:24:44 Thomas: Here's, here's what's

0:24:42 Eli: You this because we're all on fucking thin ice except for me yes

0:24:45 Thomas: No,

0:24:47 Tom: I just want to feel awkward in this moment with you guys

0:24:48 Thomas: No, no, no. No. Here is the awkwardness. I don't care about what Tom's saying.

0:24:54 Thomas: I-- That Eli is on Tom's side. That's what I'm trying to emotionally deal with. So let's say you're having a sexual interaction. Take the wives out of it. They go to make

0:25:00 Eli: Tom hates it when we try to do that he's a real he's real stickler about that thomas

0:25:05 Thomas: Yeah. They go they go to make a move and they're like they're touching you in a way you're like oh you're gonna signal like appreciation you by giving a little more like output than you would normally you're telling me that never happens you've never

0:25:09 Tom: I am not the only one though

0:25:09 Eli: No look hey this is getting to the very core of my being but I will just say I'm a very expressive boy boy and what I I'll say what I'm the work that the songs I'm singing they're my heart song if you know what i'M SAYING do are you doing like a now now are you DOING A BIT THOMAS BECAUSE I WANTED TO ARE YOU DOINGA BIT ARE YOU LIKE OH FUCKIN AYE YEAH ARE YOU FAKING IT FOR LYDIA Yeah, because I feel like she just fell several feet down in the ranking or sorry, our partner, our hypothetical partners.

0:25:33 Thomas: Oh Okay Wow Okay, that might be the the difference Am I doing a bit do you mean like in bed or now oh god yeah No. I am I am flabbergasted, I don't even, I absolutely do not know. Yeah, like I'm, ah man, so it might be just that your fundamental nature is you're singing your heart song and my fundamental nature is like I don't like make noises. I don't know, like it was just like.

0:26:16 Eli: Wait, you naturally here's the answer, right? OK, look, you brought it up. So we got to go there. Tom, if you want to excuse yourself, go talk to your imam or whatever you're dealing with. I get it.

0:26:16 Thomas: Okay. Sure. Oh. That's fine. I don't I don't yeah Tom can leave yeah yep

0:26:29 Eli: Here's here's here. Here's the truth. Here's a truth of it, right. Let's talk about because here's let's get fucking real, y'all. Let's not be afraid, radical vulnerability, because there's one time when you're not performing for anybody but yourself and that's alone time, you and Hando, right? Do you? Okay.

0:26:23 Tom: I'm all right

0:26:41 Thomas: Yeah one million Percent silence, there's not a single sound that happens.

0:26:50 Eli: Not the situation. For me, so unless.

0:26:52 Thomas: Oh. Wow, what? Now I need. Tom's vote back.

0:26:54 Tom: Okay. All Right, no.

0:26:56 Thomas: In holy

0:26:57 Eli: I am trying in a place where I might disturb.

0:27:00 Thomas: Crap.

0:27:00 Eli: Others where I have to. Do you remember. Not. To do.

0:27:03 Thomas: This. Is. Mind -blowing.

0:27:04 Eli: It? Is this just me? You guys don't.

0:27:06 Thomas: That. Uh, never.

0:27:07 Tom: Never made a noise ever.

0:27:08 Thomas: A single.

0:27:08 Tom: No.

0:27:09 Thomas: Noise, not a.

0:27:10 Tom: No.

0:27:10 Thomas: Single, they could. I'm trying to think of a good joke for that. Wait.

0:27:14 Eli: Gents, gents, you got to incorporate some breath work into your practice. This is all I'm going to say. It's going to, it's going change the game. It's gonna change the gain.

0:27:21 Thomas: You didn't have siblings when you were that age, okay, yeah.

0:27:24 Tom: Yeah, going to say, like, I do wonder, though, how much of this is just training, right? Like, yeah,

0:27:24 Thomas: Yeah. You got to be able to execute exactly yep

0:27:29 Eli: I mean, you guys are Danny and the Deep Blue Sea in it, right? Like no noise. Right.

0:27:29 Thomas: Zero. Noise.

0:27:34 Tom: No noise. You don't because I think like you grow up from the time you first start skronking it, like trying to skronk in secret.

0:27:34 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:27:41 Eli: But then you're an adult.

0:27:42 Tom: It's all secret. Well, you just you built a habit. You built a skronky vocal habit.

0:27:43 Thomas: Yeah. Eli did the same thing I did with crying, but with masturbating, he's like, what is this silence for? He's like I should be singing my heart song. Oh, yeah.

0:27:49 Eli: Yeah, yeah, I should. To be clear, what happens is you grow an adult and you're like, what's the best way to jerk off? And all the best ways to jerk offsides are like, hey, man, you got to incorporate some breath work into your practice. And then you do. And you're, like, oh, this is what?

0:28:06 Tom: I have never Googled what's the best way to jerk off my my life how but

0:28:08 Thomas: No, I've never, I've felt like I needed help there. Yeah, yeah, and

0:28:11 Eli: It's your favorite activity. It's one's favorite activity that's, like.

0:28:16 Thomas: I've already, that's a 10 out of 10. 10.

0:28:18 Eli: Oh, yeah, I do board games, but I only play Parcheesi. You've never been, like, hey, what are the different board games? I am every yeah you know the best thing in the world, yeah, I've done a little work on that I

0:28:31 Tom: What what

0:28:24 Thomas: Wow. For masturbating? Oh, okay. I've I'm always, okay, now I'm back with Tom. I think that I've been a 10 out of 10.

0:28:34 Tom: Like that's insane to me, but

0:28:36 Thomas: I think that, I've, I think, I'm, I, I don't know. I don, I always been a natural, you know, like I've never, maybe, you're right. Like I'm actually, now this opens up a world of curiosity. Yeah.

0:28:39 Eli: Can I tell you, if you're not incorporating breathwork into the practice, no, you're fucking not. And here's the gift I've just given our podcast audience, okay, here's the gift, because right now there's

0:28:51 Tom: So much right now this is so much

0:28:53 Thomas: This is the best.

0:28:53 Eli: Hundreds of men listening to this show that are like, I mean, is it, could, could it be? And they're going to incorporate some breath work into their practice. And they won't, they look, we get a lot of listener feedback, I won't hear peep one from our audience on this one, but I'll know, I'll look into their fucking eyes at a live show. And there'll just, they'll say it with their eyes.

0:29:12 Eli: They'll be like breath work in the practice, man. And can I say to you, my audience, most of whom are white supremacists at this point, you're welcome. You're welcome? And while we're in talking about improving your scrunk in it, it's called an end trainer, and you need to go slow. Now you all know all the secrets to Harry Potter and the Chambers I

0:29:11 Thomas: The wink yeah what

0:29:30 Tom: I've yeah

0:29:28 Thomas: I don't know what the fuck you're talking about okay I think it's Tom and I. Now I think Tom and I are right, okay.

0:29:34 Tom: Yeah, like, like sex with a partner is just such a qualitatively better experience, so, like, I think it elicits more noise like it's more communicative I

0:29:40 Eli: Yes it's obviously better but it's

0:29:43 Thomas: That's interesting, so, so we, I think we've actually, three bears did once again, we've three bears, yeah.

0:29:49 Tom: Think I'm back on your look, I, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm going to make noise when I'm with partner, my, because I'm like communicating with her. Right. I'm, but

0:29:49 Thomas: Yeah exactly that's what I'm saying, so what I'm looking at it. Well, it is though, I think

0:29:58 Tom: Not Performative. I'm making a noise, but It's not to make her feel good. It's to make sure she knows that feels good to me. And that encourages more of that. Or that encourages that.

0:30:08 Eli: Like a Skinner Mike Skinner, oh,

0:30:11 Thomas: Tom and I are talking about literally the exact same thing, but we have a different internal, like, thought process behind it. Cause I'm, I'm the kind of person who can't be a customer at some place, cause that's, I am like, I'm sorry for being a customer, that's my mindset in general, so I'm like, I, I just want to make sure like, okay, this person knows they're doing a good job. You know, I want to give them that feedback. That's all.

0:30:11 Tom: Right.

0:30:25 Tom: But

0:30:30 Eli: That I, I would not, look, I can't speak from a partner's perspective, but I would not enjoy, I have had partners, let me say this, I've had partners who have felt obligated to perform, and I've been like, hey, what's going on, you're doing but

0:30:43 Thomas: Oh yeah. I don't like that. Yeah, no, I hate that. A hundred percent hate that, yeah.

0:30:47 Tom: That's what I mean. Like if Haley, yeah, I

0:30:49 Thomas: Yeah, but there's a difference between, like, oh, I'm, you know, you're given a little bit, 10%, you know. Kind of, yeah, okay, a little. Versus you're acting like you're in a porn. Which, to me, the minute a girl does that, I can't even do this. Like, literally, that's too much. You know what I mean?

0:31:06 Tom: Yeah, I do. And that's and that's why I'm saying, like, I would never want Haley to respond in a way that was not perfectly genuine. And so like so any kind of like because it's just going to work against us, like as a as in our sexual exchange, it's going to work against US if there's anything that's not perfectly genuinely right, because it is a communication.

0:31:25 Eli: Are you say that in a 100% genuine situation, you would be silent if

0:31:26 Thomas: Pretty much, yeah. I think I just enjoy, like my things go on in my brain and myself. Myself. Like I don't, you know, like if I were just receiving pleasure.

0:31:38 Eli: You were truly sexually free, you'd be like, "I remembered where I put that hard drive, it has the wrong charging cable. That's the problem." Oh, it has a wrong charging cable. Oh, that was the right charging cable, if you know what I'm talking about.

0:31:39 Thomas: Oh yeah. Oh, charging cable all over. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah. No that's, that's yeah, pretty much. That's I'll, I'll come by that. Honestly, that'S fine.

0:32:04 Eli: I'm a noisy lad.

0:32:05 Thomas: I'm not a noisy person at all. So there was a meme I saw Eli that was really funny one time that it was you know it's the, It's the, it's the pot.

0:32:06 Eli: I'ma noisy lad me. Jerk it off real loud

0:32:16 Thomas: It's the, um, uh, there was the, the meme was like the Pulp Fiction and it was like when the dude makes noise in a porn and it's him saying, I don't remember asking you a goddamn thing. Like that's, it it's common enough that that's a meme that like you know, like the dude doesn't need to make noise. There's no need for that. No, you're just a noisy, you know? You're a noisy boy.

0:32:03 Tom: Wow oh there

0:32:16 Eli: Kill

0:32:40 Tom: I I

0:32:40 Eli: So I actually think I could I can speak because I've seen this, uh, women wish that their, are, male partners, when they're with men, are more vocal, but faking it, you're lying.

0:32:50 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah, I've seen that as well. Yeah I do think that's true. Doing that is kind of for them. No I'm not faking it. It's just emphasizing things, you now? Like it's just like, no, no no.

0:32:59 Eli: This feels like a liar saying lie, okay, lie words are okay, so

0:33:05 Thomas: No not at all. It is in the same way that like someone hands you something and you're like, oh you didn't happen to say thank you that time because your mind was elsewhere. But or you're like, oh, I want to make sure I remember to say, hey, thank you.

0:33:14 Eli: You're like, oh, thank you so

0:33:16 Thomas: No, that's your stupid version of it. The real version is, oh, I want to be honest with you. I want you to make me remember to thank you, a thing I genuinely felt in both instances, I just didn't vocalize it the one time.

0:33:16 Eli: Much, I think you're flying with your penis. I just want to throw it out there, I think your penis is is a liar, throwing it out there.

0:33:30 Tom: No I

0:33:31 Thomas: Well, that is anti -semitic of you to say because we know that my penis,

0:33:34 Eli: That's true, ever since the art contest, that is now anti -semitic. Oh, canceled, that's okay, I knew it would come eventually. All right, next up, um, I completely agree with this, and Tom, I know you're going to be in my corner with this, because this would horrify you down to your very bone, your, your silent little bone. Work as an apprentice mechanic. My girlfriend has been having issues with her truck. Her company let her use. And instead of calling me, she calls some guy she met on a job site randomly a couple weeks ago.

0:33:35 Tom: Okay

0:33:37 Thomas: Yep, you are a hate crime.

0:34:04 Thomas: That's just, she's cheating, right? I mean, yeah. There's no

0:34:07 Eli: Exactly. Thank you. That is an affair. Like, I cannot, and I know I have talked about blah, blah, bla. But, like, there is nothing that would be a bigger betrayal to me than Anna being like, who's going to eat these Subway sandwiches and calling someone else?

0:34:08 Thomas: Yeah.

0:34:18 Thomas: I'm just gonna say shit. I need a magic trick done, uh, God, I gotta think of a guy.

0:34:22 Eli: Yeah, exactly. I look I'm not saying I have any useful skills, but if by some chance one of the skills I did have was in need and Anna, because I get mad about this.

0:34:23 Thomas: Oh, imagine if she hired a comedian

0:34:33 Eli: Oh, I would freak, I would lose my mind.

0:34:33 Thomas: For something, you die. You die.

0:34:35 Eli: I would die. I would absolutely implode and die. Well,

0:34:35 Thomas: Yeah. No, there's No way, 100% yes. We can all be on the same page on this one.

0:34:40 Tom: Yeah. If she was like, Oh my God, I got it. The best magician for this party, Eli, you're going to love them. Yeah. That would feel.

0:34:44 Eli: That I would understand. I'd be like, "No, I'm a pretty shitty magician, I can't think that," but something I thought I was good at, oh man, I would just absolutely

0:34:45 Thomas: That's a little, yeah. And Haley's like, ah, we have that birthday party. We need somebody who does something random in real estate that can't really explain what it is. And they're like, I found someone else. Yeah.

0:34:59 Tom: I was going to say, I don't have any skills at all.

0:35:04 Eli: Lydia's Like I'm watching this porn and the guy's not faking an orgasm, do you know

0:35:04 Tom: So

0:35:17 Thomas: For this kid's birthday party, we need a guy to pick an orgasm.

0:35:19 Eli: We need a guy to fake it. All right, who's the birthday boy? Get up here. Nice to meet you. Oh, what a handshake. I'll give out my card to the parents when I leave. It's for the police.

0:35:22 Thomas: Do you know anyone? Yeah.

0:35:39 Tom: All right, I'll answer the question though. Like, because I, I'll call myself out a little bit again too, like I think if something around the house or the car or whatever, those traditionally like masculine thing, like, think Hayley would not necessarily expect that I do them necessarily. Although some things that I, I do know how to do, I would, I would do. But I would be weirded out if she was like, yeah, I called the contractor. Like, wait a minute, like I should decide if I can't do it, and then I'll call the contractor and I know that there's nothing there right there's I guess I feel like yeah, I got right at first refusal on man shit. Like, if it's man shit that, that I'm supposed to do.

0:36:08 Thomas: Yeah. You have right of refusal right, you're the first right of, yeah yeah yeah no yeah I think that's right, yeah

0:36:19 Tom: Like yeah. Like it would be. I would feel super weird if she was like. Yeah I made an appointment. Like I don't do cars. I don't fucking anything about the cars. But the cars are still my job. So something needed to be done. And she's like yeah I took the car in for repair. I'd be like you did what? What in the world happened in our lives? Why did that?

0:36:37 Thomas: Is there, I'm trying to think

0:36:38 Tom: I would be like do you not trust me anymore?

0:36:39 Thomas: If there's anything In eli's life that

0:36:40 Tom: What is fucking happening right now?

0:36:41 Thomas: Would be that 100?

0:36:42 Tom: Like have I failed you in some way? That you think I can't do my jobs?

0:36:42 Eli: Yeah

0:36:46 Thomas: Tom, I'm on the same boat

0:36:47 Eli: Talk because it occasionally comes up is that that Anna will be working on a song for our shows and she'll be like, and the joke is this, and I'll be like, hey, you know what the joke could be, it's this, and she'd be like, I like mine better, and I'd be like, oh cool, you like your joke better, that's cool, that's cruel, I love and respect you so much, that's great, um, are you Keats, do you know, if you're great mind of your time, just want to do what, I give mine a little, just give mine another change, a little test through the chamber there, there. Just give it another, give it another shot there. My particular thought on the joke.

0:37:28 Eli: I, doing that bit popped a blood vessel in my eye. I look like a pirate right now.

0:37:36 Thomas: Yeah that's that's what, that's why you're Keats

0:37:39 Eli: That's why I'm Keats. You got, cause he committed to the bit.

0:37:43 Tom: Okay, so I've got one on here that I want to talk, because this, this would absolutely happen to me, but not for masculinity reasons, but I was with my ex-girlfriend in an antique store when I reached over to look at something and she slapped my hand and said, don't touch it. You'll break it. Worst part was she was totally serious.

0:37:55 Thomas: What oh my god, divorce

0:37:59 Eli: I mean, Tom, that's a safety measure that the people around you need to do.

0:38:01 Tom: The yeah,

0:38:00 Thomas: Break up break up, yeah no, that doesn't count for Tom that's true, yeah, no you gotta

0:38:04 Tom: I was going to say like, that's just a true thing that Haley is telling me. Like, that'S all that is. She's like, we don't, we can't afford it. Don't touch that. Don't, why would you break that?

0:38:08 Eli: Yeah. Yeah.

0:38:05 Thomas: Wow but okay that is the most like turning your wife into a mom thing I've ever heard. You know what I mean, that's oh man

0:38:18 Eli: Yeah, well, it's not a mom so much as it's some kind of like guardian of an eternal beast, right, like some kind of weird

0:38:20 Thomas: Yeah okay let's take take Tom out of the equation. Take to get Tom breaks doors by.

0:38:25 Eli: Yeah let's talk about a normal person who

0:38:28 Thomas: Yeah.

0:38:28 Tom: I don't mean it though, know, I just

0:38:29 Eli: Can do normal squeezes right soft and gentle, yeah exactly

0:38:30 Thomas: Yeah, normal thing. If if Lydia ever said anything like that to me about anything in the way that's that like that's your mom like, hey, don't touch that, that that we wouldn't be together. That's why would you ever have that relationship? Relationship.

0:38:33 Eli: Oh interesting I be like, oh really, Miss Drops a Glass Every 46 Seconds because like, that is, she doesn't have the Tom thing of like, but if there was a non-droppable situation, I would absolutely be like, hey Anna, just so you know, like don't pick up anything in this room, there's no thing in this room you should pick up because you might forget you're holding it because of music that comes on or something

0:38:49 Tom: Yeah

0:39:05 Thomas: You know, I do hear you guys. Actually, now I think about it. I do. You guys do remind each other of stuff like that, I think. Right. Like I've heard that in your interactions. That's interesting.

0:39:06 Eli: Yeah yeah a lot, there's a lot, so she does it with me while I'm driving, because I crash into things, and I do it with her yeah

0:39:18 Thomas: Don't try to hold anyone's hand right now, Eli. You

0:39:20 Eli: On a regular basis she'll be like lights, brake lights, not to be fair, Anna's been in the car like half a dozen times where a car has stopped and I've just been like, Lou, Lou, Lou, and then Tom will say, and I'm like, ah fuck, did it have a baby on board sticker? No, alright we're good, we're good, yes

0:39:22 Thomas: Yeah.

0:39:37 Thomas: Yeah, I don't think we have any of that stuff.

0:39:40 Tom: I would hate to be like, other than like, I know it's just an example, like I, I do think that, like, idea of being sort of admonished, I think it's kind of what you're like going after here which is like that turn your wife into a mother's stuff where like you get admonish about like life shit, I, because Hayley will tell me, like, this shit's breakable, like put your fucking, don't touch stuff. And she's right. You know, cause I am a klutz and like, I'll just like, I'll just turn around and bump into an entire shelf full of antiques and be like, well, I bought an antique store. I shouldn't even go inside these places.

0:39:49 Thomas: Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Put your meat paws away, sir.

0:40:12 Eli: Oh. Oh. Patreon goal, we send Tom to the Swarovski store and he has to pick up 50 things, 5-0.

0:40:22 Tom: That's an expensive Patreon goal. Did I ever tell you about the time I was supposed to turn on a light at a bar and I broke the light at the bar.

0:40:28 Eli: Yes. Yes. Where you pulled the string free where they were like, hey, Tom, get the thing and you fucking snapped its neck like it was no country for old men.

0:40:29 Tom: Okay. All right. I pulled the string out of the I I just

0:40:38 Thomas: Did you do the classic movie thing where you pull the cable and it comes out of the wall, like burst through the drywall all the way up the wall into the ceiling, you know?

0:40:43 Eli: No.

0:40:46 Tom: Just yeah I, the lady, I remember she looked at me, she's like, why did you do that? The bartender, I'm like, I don't know. I didn't mean it that

0:40:47 Thomas: Yeah.

0:40:54 Eli: The the best Tom destroying things is when you tore the door off the hinges at the studio where you podcast where Cecil was like, hey, the door's a little, well, first of all, that's on fucking Cecil.

0:41:01 Thomas: Yeah, that's the best. Yeah.

0:41:02 Tom: Is the best but they were stuck that

0:41:08 Eli: He's known you for years he was like the door is a little tricky and you were like, wall go bye-bye, not door anymore, now it's big open hole in the wall.

0:41:08 Thomas: You can't tell yeah

0:41:09 Tom: Is true I do blame him for that yeah

0:41:18 Thomas: Oh, man. No, I totally identified with Tom. I don't have Tom's strength, but I have something which, which makes up for it, which is, if I think something if I know, my, I have determination, if I thing a thing is supposed to work that way, I would physically find a way to break that. You You know what I mean? Like, I would go at it mentally harder than possible. And then someone would be like, it just goes the other way. Fuck.

0:41:26 Eli: A gun yeah

0:41:27 Tom: Yeah. Yeah.

0:41:42 Tom: That's, that's how it happens. It's like, Oh, it's stuck. Well, I, it probably won't be.

0:41:43 Thomas: Yeah. Well, but for you, it's like, you're just like,

0:41:44 Eli: Yeah

0:41:46 Thomas: Oh, and you just, it'S already off its hinges. You know, I'm just saying for me, I'd have to really put effort into it, you know? But I would say, yeah, like we don't have, that is, oh. When you see those friends, do you have those guy friends? It's one thing, you know, I get, it sounds like Haley gives you some very necessary and needed reminders for your Tyrannosaurus rex arms but like those couples where you see the is just like constantly they're the mom of the husband and you're just Like Jesus that's I I hate it so much okay

0:42:11 Tom: It they're the minder. Yeah that's Like where the where the wife ends up like being the one who like carries snacks and you know medicines And Stuff All For like For the Dude I'm not talking about for the kids I'm talking about like for the Dude like It's like It Like All

0:42:22 Thomas: Well now We're Just Being silly Okay Maybe Sometimes Maybe

0:42:24 Eli: So Is Thomas Tom so Is Tom Hey

0:42:30 Thomas: Sometimes I Enjoy a Snacky snack that was meant for The kids kids that's

0:42:33 Tom: Right All right I'll have to back off for That one

0:42:36 Eli: I'm Tom for the sake of our podcast you need to shut the fuck up right now okay man I've Been to Two Pajama Parties

0:42:43 Tom: Oh

0:42:42 Thomas: You heard About The hangriness You heard about the handgreens in the house Tom

0:42:47 Eli: Look Do I think it's weird that when Thomas needs to take his shirt off he just throws his hands in the air and Lydia takes it off him yes but some things we just don't talk About okay Judge Your relationship holding hands In the car like a fucking weirdo I Right gentlemen before we go uh can't bicycles wake up early because they're too tired

0:42:47 Tom: I feel That though

0:42:57 Thomas: Yeah Exactly Oh we We

0:43:06 Tom: Who doesn't hold hands Oh Yeah

0:43:22 Thomas: So

0:43:30 Clip: Want to meet sexy DILFs in your area? Email the dads at DearOldDads.com or, better yet, send us a message on Patreon. You can follow us on all social media by checking the links in the show notes. And if you need more podcasts in your life, you can find Tom on Cognitive Dissonance, Thomas on Serious Inquiries Only, and Eli on Godawful Movies and all the Puzzle in the Thunderstorm shows. Dear Old Dads is edited and produced by my favorite DILF, Tom Smith, who also wrote and recorded the intro music, which is used with his permission. This podcast is a production of Daddy Issues LLC. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.

0:44:08 Eli: I'm a very expressive boy boy and I remembered where I put that hard drive it

0:44:14 Thomas: Made me, damn it. Uh, what's uh, what the fucking Tarantino movie, uh Pa, Pa, Paul. The most famous Tarantina movie. Pa, Pulp. Pulp Fiction. That's

0:44:24 Eli: Bill Okay