T3BE75: Can I Interest You in a Lettuce Farm?

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:00 Clip: Oh, no associate of this firm has ever failed the bar exam. No kidding.

0:00:08 Clip: I just know that you were going to kick that bar's butt out of here, you know? Come in here with a skull full of mush and you leave thinking like a lawyer.

0:00:31 Clip: My staff has flunked the bar exams six times.

0:00:36 Clip: You graduated from law school six years ago. What have you been doing since? Studying for the bar.

0:00:47 Thomas: And welcome to Opening Arguments. It's Thursday. That means it's time for another bar question. Thomas. That over there is Lydia. Hanging out for the intros and the shoutouts. How you doing?

0:00:58 Lydia: Hello, not participating in the bar question.

0:01:00 Thomas: Nope, you're not allowed.

0:01:01 Lydia: Not, and that is fine by me. That is fine by me, the bar banned me. Oh, okay. Wow.

0:01:03 Thomas: Been banned by the bar. -huh. Yeah, disbarred. Someday we can tell the story, but it's Yeah, it's Thursday. That means I a moment, we'll have Heather Veronini on to give us the answer to last week's question. That was question 74. see how we all did. I got that right, if I get 74 right, that means I'm on a two question streak. The smallest amount of questions that can be considered a streak so that's you got to start somewhere you know so that is what I am rooting for and then of course we will get that brand new question 75 so much fun love Heather love doing this let us see what else do does anyone need to know anything okay

0:01:45 Lydia: I don't know, I'm just here being the away creep, just creeping on in, like I do every Thursday.

0:01:50 Thomas: Creep can you also while you are here to get some work done can you do can you do any announcements yeah

0:01:55 Lydia: My announcements are, Gavel Gavel is super busy.

0:01:59 Thomas: Chunk system is chunking going to be a lot lot of gavel gavel soon a lot of cool interesting ones yeah uh let's see where the chunk system also applies to the other shows and it's toward the end of the month the time for chunks so a time for chucks yeah there's gonna be a lot it's the most sure yeah uh

0:02:01 Lydia: Chunking away, folks. Some exciting stuff. Yeah. The chunky time of the month. Yeah, so love it and I hate it. It moist. You know, it's like that same kind of thing.

0:02:24 Thomas: Live by the chunk you die by the chuck yeah uh and of course lydia is going tobe coming back on later for the patron shoutouts it's so much fun I love the patron shout outs you

0:02:33 Lydia: The Kool -Aid man, I'm going to burst through my closet door and go, oh, yeah.

0:02:38 Thomas: Have many different characters many different costumes you're having to wear no

0:02:41 Lydia: And we don't do video. So this is just for me.

0:02:44 Thomas: We did on the q a we're thinking about doing more video another time like might be fun that was really fun I like that I'll have to do it again all right well Well, we're going to call Heather on in after this break, which you can avoid, of course, at patreon .com slash law. Support the show, get the goodies, be able to ask the Q &A questions, all that fun stuff. After the break, we'll get to Heather. And after that, we will invite Lydia back on to be the creepy Kool -Aid man and whatever else she said for the patron shout outs that we do each and every week. So much fun. All right. After this break.

0:02:45 Lydia: We did. It was super fun. Amazing.

0:03:17 Thomas: Heather Varanini, how are you doing today?

0:03:19 Heather: Great. I have not that over any trucks full of bees or

0:03:23 Thomas: I just think of the The Nicolas Cage gif is all I think. I haven't actually seen whatever that absurd movie is, but all I think about is that like, and I don't even know. It just seems like he's saying not the bees, which is really funny. Like I can't, what is that? don'T know what that is. I don' t want to know what it is. I think it forever will just be a weird gift to me. That seems insane. But that's, me in this question here. Not the bees. Remind us what last week's question was. Was the was not a bee weirdly enough I think it should have been a bee like in

0:03:50 Heather: We had a truck full of bees that was hijacked. And sorry, the driver, driver, he, was subpoenaed. He wasn't. Can you imagine a bee lawyer? Nevermind. Anyway. And so the truck driver.

0:04:05 Thomas: Instead of a gun you have that like smoker thing or whatever like get out of the car that thing they do that like smoke that's bees right yeah

0:04:13 Heather: Yeah yeah yeah when they smoke that's how they go to sleep right listen

0:04:16 Thomas: That's how you hijack it there's like and then you smoke so what is the central park oh the

0:04:30 Heather: This all started with that news story from the this I listen you could not hear me laughing at that I'm sorry yeah

0:04:31 Thomas: Central part hive stupid oh man good times yes this is the trial of the the group of people that hijacked a truck full of bees well

0:04:42 Heather: And brought in the truck driver um to ask him questions about it uh was relieved because he was worried he was going to be asked questions about a bunch of thefts that involved shipments of bee boxes. Worries that the subject might be brought up at the trial by the defense attorneys. So he's also scared he's going to lose his job if invokes the Fifth Amendment privilege against self -incrimination on the witness stand. So he wants to avoid testifying at all costs. And as Tom's lawyer, he's looking for advice from you about whether or not he has has to comply with a subpoena.

0:05:13 Thomas: You've come to the right place oh

0:05:16 Heather: A, Tom can avoid testifying because the potential that he will incriminate himself is greater than the interest the defense has in calling him as a witness. B, Tom Can Avoid Testifying Because He Is Not A Party To The Action. Tom Cannot Avoid Testifying because he can plead the Fifth Amendment on the stand. Or D, Tom cannot avoid testifying, because he must answer all questions truthfully, even if his answers will incriminate him because he is not on trial. You were saying initially that peg this as a constitutional law question, right? This is where it gets a little funny. Technically, this is a criminal procedure question. Because criminal procedure typically covers the 4th, 5th, 6th, and sometimes the 8th amendments.

0:05:51 Thomas: Okay okay fair enough I just feel like this was so fundamental to like your constitutional right to plead the fifth though.

0:06:01 Heather: So that's the interesting thing. Obviously, I think there's an overlap between constitutional law and criminal procedure. Yeah, but how it's tested on the bar is that usually if it's fourth, fifth, or sixth, it'll usually be a criminal procedure question.

0:06:15 Thomas: Fair enough. All right. Well, I got that wrong. That's not a good start. I wasn't even close to because I was saying evidence.

0:06:20 Heather: Were right to go through that process of, oh, is this an evidence question because we're talking about testifying and the witness is this, are we talking about that? And so, of course, that's the first thought, right? It's, oh. This must be an evidence question. But you worked your way out of it, which was great. Then you also

0:06:33 Thomas: I talked about, I worked my way over to constitutional law, so not better.

0:06:39 Heather: Well, it's closer. And then you were saying this is about self -incrimination. And you were right, that's the topic that we're discussing today. So that's exactly what it was trying to test. Thankfully, because it says in the question, or it actually says in the fact pattern that he about invoking the fifth. So we know almost right immediately that that's our subtopic. The rule is that comes from the amendment says that no person, not a bunch of stuff, shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself. I didn't mean it. Listen, I didn't mean to skip over all that.

0:07:07 Thomas: Blah, blah, blah. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh

0:07:11 Heather: There's a bunch of, as I'm sure you know, there's a bunch of clauses in there and I was trying to pick out the relevant clause. So person who's asked a question under any proceeding to the government may refuse to answer a question if it's going to incriminate themselves, right? And what that means is that the answer provides a reasonable possibility of the witness in a future criminal proceeding. That person is entitled to a Fifth Amendment privilege. So that's what you were getting at, too. I heard you working your way through like, oh, well, yeah, like if, this you is about this, just this proceeding, but like if someone may incriminATE themselves selves in the future.

0:07:44 Thomas: Yeah well I was solid on that. Yeah.

0:07:46 Heather: And you did a great job eliminating answer choice A, exactly for the right reason too, which is that it's not a balancing test. No part of that rule had anything to do with trying to balance any interests or anything like that, right? That's not the rule. That's not the test. So I think that was a good way to eliminate that immediately. Also eliminated answer choice B, right, he's not party to the action. You you said, and this is really interesting to hear you talk through, which is that this was just untrue, right? Just not testify if you're a witness and you use the young thug and the Diddy trials as examples, right.

0:08:18 Thomas: I suppose it's a wrinkle. Maybe I should have gone B with second chance just in case like there's some, I don't know, carve out for if you might self -incriminate, like maybe then they would let you avoid testifying or something. But I don'T, I DON'T think that's true either. So I don' t know.

0:08:33 Heather: No, when I think to what you did here, I didn't say this quite explicitly, kind of got at this, which was that there's different rules if you are the defendant versus if you were just a witness. Right. On that. And you got at that by saying, you can't just not testify if you're a witness, right? And you were kind of explaining, oh, well, somebody at Diddy's trial had to show up, they had to be there. And that's exactly right, right. The rules are different for witnesses as they are for defendants. And this was a part of why this is wrong, right, because he's not a party doesn't mean they still can't call him into court. So A and B are out, you were right to eliminate those. So now we're down to Tom, he can, right Tom cannot avoid testifying. So So now we're down to C and D.

0:09:09 Thomas: That B on the stand. We know he's going to, we know that giant bumblebee suit. Oh, it's going be the guy from the Blind Melon music video is gonna be testifying ooh yeah he's just like what was that uh yeah so he's saying he's saying he'd rather be uh I'm not sure if it's eating or having sex with a flower I actually don't know how they do that yeah no okay it is a sex thing that's weird but okay oh wait don't do they talk by dancing if they're the ones oh my god then you need okay OK, so then the bee is on the stand dancing and it's you actually

0:09:20 Heather: Yes. I was actually just going to ask, do you think he needs an interpreter? Sorry.

0:09:42 Heather: TMIB, TMI. Yes, yes. They communicate by dancing. I'm just

0:09:51 Thomas: Have an interpretive dancer. You have an interpreter who's interpreting the dance, but maybe they're doing interpretive dance in order to interpret the dancing. This is OK that we've got. We've we've landed on it.

0:10:05 Heather: Going to say we've gone down a rabbit hole, but I think we've our flown way into the hive maybe it's a little more appropriate yeah that's

0:10:10 Thomas: It's like These objection. Hips don't lie. You know, when I'm testifying by dancing, know, you're not going to be able to do it. You know the bee's telling the truth because the bee hips don't lie.

0:10:17 Heather: Just I think too as you were walking through cnd you of the things for me that kind of jumped out about d being a possible wrong answer choice was anytime I see the words like all of those extreme language kind of words right all never always and so it says here he must answer all questions truthfully.

0:10:35 Thomas: You can lie on some of them

0:10:37 Heather: Listen, who cares And so the other thing too is even if his answers will incriminate him, And this gets at the issue that we're talking about with the Fifth Amendment, right, isn't that what we're worried read about. The whole goal of the Fifth Amendment is so that people do not have to get on the stand and incriminate themselves, right? Too, there's a little bit of a wrinkle between being a witness and being the defendant. And you walked through that a bit, which is that generally speaking, if you're the defendant, the in which you plead the Fifth is by not taking the stand, right, and you hit on why. You hit on a a little bit of why, right? Because what happens if the defendant gets on the stand, right, and they just keep saying, you know, plead the fifth and please, yeah, yeah.

0:11:15 Thomas: Plead the fifth plead the fifth yeah I would get really showboaty you'd be like so when you were killing her you know just be like and then they'd be like plead the sixth and that's not gonna look that'd be prejudicial I think is the word that you folks use

0:11:29 Heather: That's exactly it. So that's definitely part of why this operates for defendants ends up being different, right. Because we plead the Fifth by not taking the stand. Witnesses, it's a little bit different, so the right protects against compelled testimony, right but a witness cannot avoid being sworn in, right? Testifying or being asked questions. They must listen to those questions and then specifically invoke the privilege, right, rather than avoid testifying. So again, that's different. So if you're a witness, again, as you mentioned, of how you invoke is that you listen to the question and then you specifically invoke your right to the Fifth Amendment, response right to specific questions. That's part of of how in this situation, C is our correct answer and D is our wrong answer.

0:12:09 Heather: So you were correct. C is the answer.

0:12:10 Thomas: I I think I nailed that one I think that was was pretty much just a hundred percent. A hundred percent nailed it. Yeah, I was getting, I did ultimately choose my second chances D and not that, I don't know, it's hard to say which one was more or less wrong, but like, I did feel like, okay, there's something to the idea that like, if you're, uh, defendant, then you can't avoid, but if you were the witness, then you can avoid testifying. But like, yeah, it just ultimately was still, still wrong. So yeah, nailed it, nailed it every which way. I'm now getting a hundred % from here on out. I've never missing another question again, as long as I live. It's easy. I figured it out, everybody. Buddy. I've gotten two in a row.

0:12:12 Heather: Did. Yep. Yeah. Nice.

0:12:44 Thomas: Literally the minimum amount that could be called a streak of any kind.

0:12:50 Thomas: And now I'm at a cool score of 40 of 70. That's interesting. Yeah. 57 .14%. Inching back up to 60. doing pretty well. I'm really happy. Really happy about this.

0:13:05 Heather: Yay. Me too. All the bees are buzzing about your new streak. Yes.

0:13:08 Thomas: Am all abuzz. Well, let's find out how many bee puns people had on the interwebs.

0:13:17 Heather: I cannot wait to see them pollinate the interwebs with all their great answers.

0:13:21 Clip: Right, lots of great answers this week. Why got two two great answers on Blue Skye. Open args of Blue Sky, one is Brian Gibson. At apparition -maker, who says, I agree with Thomas that the answer is C, but since I believe most of the people playing at home will also correctly answer C, I'm going to answer A. That way, Thomas feels like his correct answer has value because not everybody else got it right.

0:13:46 Clip: And Brian, you pretty much nailed it. Thank you. I appreciate it. That was so nice of you. You got it wrong, you dummy. It wasn't A. This person, they don't know what they're doing.

0:13:56 Thomas: If my audio just changed, it's because I forgot to hit record, and now I'm recording, anyway, the 2nd answer is from Rand McNally, just at Rand McNaly, I'm going with C, Tom can plead the 5th, even if he isn't on trial himself. His concern that the buzz will get back to the workplace is unfortunate, but the best he can do is avoid incriminating himself by being quiet.

0:14:21 Thomas: Delightful. Good stuff. Well, those were A pluses. What about reddit .com slash r slash open args?

0:14:29 Heather: Jar of peanut butter said tom isn't thinking this through as long as he has good medical insurance he just needs to put himself into what doctors refer to as a light to no coma he can stay in that through the entirety of the trial or at least trim fest since he missed the obvious solution he's going to have to testify he can certainly plead the fifth but he can't get out out of showing up, C is the correct answer. Great job. And

0:14:52 Thomas: Seems like everyone got this one.

0:14:53 Heather: I also want to shout out some responses from international man of mystery, Austin, who said thieving trucker Tom took tons of bee boxes before being bagged, but bigwig bosses boldly boot unbothered by the fifth fears of furtive folk. And then Seligmig99 followed it up with, and this is where we we learned that there's a carve out in the law for beekeepers.

0:15:16 Thomas: Oh, are some good jokes in this one. I how didn't many people got my, you Eddie Izzard reference, you in bees. That's a classic. It seems like like one person got it, but I guess it is a hundred years old at this point. Yeah, anyway, there's also some great ones on patreon .com slash law. And that's where the high rulers go to play. That's where the best of the best play. Was the asbestos of times. It was the worst dose of times answer C unless it was a sting operation.

0:15:49 Thomas: Oh, so good. And then someone, someone pointed out, and this was so funny. I didn't realize it until the the edit that Dimauga points out that last episode was, we got to get out of here before we ruin the entire show with bee And then the music kicked in for, thank you for being a friend. So good. I was like, when I did the edit, I was, like, oh, that's perfect. I wish I would have thought ahead to comment on that. But no, it was great. We've got one, let's Gen C .J. Hudson that says, be if he was the driver that had been hijacked. See if he is the getaway driver, but that can't be right because he was the driver that was hijacked and it was C. So yeah.

0:16:26 Heather: And the answer doesn't hinge on whether on his position in that way, his answer hinges, the answer changes depending on whether he's the defendant or whether he's The Witness.

0:16:37 Thomas: I think that's what they're going for, right? So if he was a getaway diver, he'd be a defendant. Then you can avoid testifying. But I think maybe this patron had the answer, had that reversed maybe? Like, cause maybe they meant the other way around.

0:16:50 Heather: The way the way that you raise your Fifth Amendment privilege against self -incrimination as a defendant is to not take the stand.

0:16:58 Thomas: Wait. Yeah. There's no world in which B was right. So B is Tom can avoid avoid testifying because he is not a party to the action. Yeah.

0:17:04 Heather: Was never going to be the right answer, unfortunately.

0:17:05 Thomas: That to be right. Sorry, sorry, Jensey. I was trying to go with you, but no, B was never gonna be right. But you are getting at that distinction between being like an actual defendant and not, and that was very much part of this calculation. So, okay, just clearing that up.

0:17:18 Heather: That's exactly it. Great.

0:17:19 Thomas: I don't know if I need to declare an official winner, but I got to say it was the asbestos of times was pretty short and sweet. See, unless it was a sting operation. Fantastic. That was a lot of fun. Gosh, I love everyone playing along. Thanks so much for doing it. And now we're going to have another question for everyone to play along with. And can I go on an inconceivable three question streak? Can I go? That's what I'm attempting to do with this next question. So we'll pause. I'm going to psych myself up. And then in a moment, we're going to get question 75. We'll see you then.

0:17:32 Heather: Joe

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0:19:20 Thomas: Right. Let's hear it.

0:19:22 Heather: Was a farmer who grew lettuce on his farm he conveyed 50 acres of his property quote to my sister her heirs and assigns so long as the premises are used for agricultural purposes end quote what

0:19:33 Thomas: Real property says I don't get to get three in a row. Right. Sorry. There's no. OK. This is Heather laying down the law.

0:19:41 Heather: Is joe's interest in the 50 acres as a result of the conveyance A, nothing. A fee simple subject to condition subsequent. C, a possibility of reverter. Or D, a right of entry.

0:19:54 Thomas: It's short short, to quote the great, boy, that quote comes up a lot for me in my life, Thea Muffet's Christmas Carol. It was short. We loved it. Was a farmer who grew lettuce on his farm. He conveyed, okay, so it's Joe the farmer. He conveyed 50 acres of property. Well, I'll go ahead and put this in the category of a real property. And this is lettuce law. That's the specific category within real property, lettuce law, haven't studied much lettuce law but you see if I can puzzle it out. Conveyed 50 acres of his property to my sister, her heirs, and assigns so long as the premises are used for agricultural purposes. Once he has done that, once he is conveyed those 50 acres, what is Joe's interest in the 50 acres as the conveyance? Right, of sticks or bundle of leaves of lettuce. It's a cabbage of, lettuce and I got to keep track of all the leaves of lettuce so that's a little awkward. Bundle of sticks is pretty easy, but that's what you want to keep And so if he conveys the 50 acres of property to his sister, heirs, et cetera, et cetera, but then with a condition on it, long as the premises are used for agricultural purposes, I think that has to mean that he's still got something. I guess it's assumed that like, if they start doing something else with it, then it goes back to him, I guess. It doesn't really say it, but I think that's what that means. Like if you put a condition, if you're like, hey, I'm giving you this as long as you use it for that. I I think think the The Legal -like thing that's happening is the minute they start, you doing anything other than agricultural stuff, it would go back to him. So he has to have something. So I feel like it can't be nothing. Is Joe's interest? I think that's the standard language. Why do I feel like it's normally something else? But no. What is Joe's interest in the 50 acres as a result of the conveyance? So he's given it and seems like we're to assume that, I don't know, the lettuce was still on it, so it's still qualified for now. Now, so intuition would be there's got to be something. My intuition would me it can't be nothing, and it's got be something that reflects the fact that he has the right to the farm if they mess up and do something they're not supposed to. I also think furthermore that Joe could probably give that interest to somebody eventually or if he wanted to. He could be like, hey, here's this one stick I have from this bundle I gave someone a long while ago. And if they ever mess up, this stick turns into the whole bundle again, essentially. So I feel like that has to be something. All right. So A, nothing. I'm going to go ahead and eliminate A. feel it can't be nothing unless there's some trick with interest. What is Joe's interest? Is that normally what they say? What is Jo's interest? Like, thing to quiet title, an emotion to quiet or whatever. Is standard. I don't think there's any tricks there, I hope. Nothing I feel like it can't be nothing b a fee simple subject to condition subsequent I I don't think it's that for reasons I'll get into c a possibility of reverter well that sounds like plain language that's what it is d a right of entry that's nowhere in the question don't know what that would be about um don'T know this one feels like a layup and I get I get really that of worries me because real property is a layup. I don't know. I mean, this seems like one of those easy ones because it can't be nothing. I feel like A, I'm eliminating and D, I'll eliminate A and D. A and B are the two obvious not right answers. So A, nothing. Going to say no. I may actually go back on that later, but for now I'm illuminating it. D, a right of entry just is nowhere in the question. I means, unless there's some weird, you know, unless that's the trick, there's some weird real property thing about like, you would still maintain a right of entry. I don't think that's it. And even if there is some tiny possibility of that, I would never choose D on that tiny possibility alone. So I'm eliminating A and D. does A, it say A fee simple? Oh, it's like a fee, it saying his interest is a fee simple interest, I guess. I think the trick here is that B is his sister's interest in the property. I think that's kind of maybe what the trick thing is. Because a fee simple subject to condition subsequent kind of sounds more like, well, maybe that's not exact, but it kind of Sounds more like what the sister has because fee simple, I forget, man, that's so hard to know this terminology. But I think if you have something in fee simple I think that means you still own it. He doesn't still own it he's conveyed it he has conveyed the 50 acres of his property so I think it's just pretty plainly see a possibility of reverter that's like the only thing he has he the only things right to is hey if they do anything else I get it back that's what he has I think this is just so obviously see that I'm I'm for the other uh boot to drop um other farmer but but I can't even come up with any puns for this one. Let us see what the answer is. So if I were to pick my second chance, a better chance of it being nothing than there is a chance of being a fee simple subject to condition subsequent. So that's why I'm going to go back on what I said. Like, I don't think it's nothing, but I also think B is just not even close. More like Like, if I'm going to get it wrong, the only thing I can think of is that, like, this means he has no interest in it currently. Some wording in interest or something that means he interested in it. He has no... Interest in it, and so, if I get it wrong, I think it could only be because I don't know precisely what having an interest in the thing means, and then actually the possibility of reverter or whatever is like not technically that's the only thing I can think of because I think this one's pretty clear so I'm actually going to go between a and c and I will choose c a possibility of reverter because that seems like that's what he has that seems like the stick he is left with the leaf that he's chomping on like a rabbit that he has of this land so c final answer and if if you'd like to play along, you know how to do it. You can go to blue sky.

0:25:43 Thomas: You you can find the post with a question and you can reskeet that bad boy and quote skeet it actually and put your answer there. That's, we had some great winners from that today. Can also go to reddit .com slash r slash open args. That is a really fun place to play. You get to track the scores and all that. Most importantly, you can go to patreon .com. So that's where the champions play. Where the best of the best play. Forward to seeing the answers. Um, but I feel like this one was a fee -simple question. We'll see. I don't know, though. Famous last words. Heather, us meet back here next week and find out the answers.

0:26:15 Heather: Who has been sowing the devil's lettuce? Yes.

0:26:18 Thomas: Yeah, you had time to think of stuff. I had to talk.

0:26:23 Heather: This, my friends and I, 20 years ago, it's this from The Simpsons from when neighbor is holding up a sign that's like, it'S 420. It's like smoking the devil'S lettuce or whatever. I bring that up every year. It makes me laugh.

0:26:35 Thomas: Yeah. Should lettuce have been in quotes on this question? Lettuce.

0:26:38 Heather: Yes, lettuce.

0:26:40 Thomas: Joe grows. Oh, no.

0:26:41 Heather: Lettuce.

0:26:42 Thomas: Yeah.

0:26:47 Clip: Thank you for being, say we started from the bottom, now we're here, girl.

0:26:55 Thomas: And only one thing left to do. And that is to thank our patrons, the most amazing folks in the world. I checked it. It's true. And joining me to do that, back you may remember her from form such such parts of the shows as the beginning. It's Lydia Smith. Okay. That

0:27:12 Lydia: Broke through closet door to join on you again. I tried.

0:27:16 Thomas: Sound effects were, if you're taking notes, if your accepting notes, the sound effects were a little high pitched. Like, it sounded like you were doing like a jet through the air or like a, I don't know what, like a almost, actually, it sounds like a shaving cream slash whipped cream can. It was like, yeah, instead of like, you know, you need like a need some deep sub woofing.

0:27:31 Lydia: That's, fair. Yeah. Or static on, on a phone. Don't, yeah. Like breaking like two by fours. Like how am I going to make that sound?

0:27:42 Thomas: Was, like, the Kool -Aid man kicked through it like a styrofoam wall.

0:27:47 Lydia: It's a, it'S space. It'S a rocket. I busted through a little, little space thingy.

0:27:53 Thomas: All right well we've got to thank our patrons at patreon .com slash lot we'll start with the newbies and thank you to Wrakatere interestingly I t w r a k a t r e r e Hmm. Well, find out what sci -fi novel that is at some point. And Dustin, thank you, new patrons. The best. Thanks for signing on. Hope you enjoy it. And now it's what we've all been waiting for. Top patrons, the Hall of Famers, the all -time greats.

0:28:08 Lydia: It's likely that yeah

0:28:20 Thomas: And I think I'm going first, right? Right.

0:28:20 Lydia: -hmm you sure are oh

0:28:23 Thomas: To Vetinari for America 2028 one man one vote casey khan you should have gone for the snail you should've gone for the snail I don't know tell me why Donna Treadaway, Mother of Harridans executile dysfunction how can I make my law firm oh it gets cut off darn it there's probably some more to that But, I think we're getting another patron that's doing like a little bit at a time. The only problem is I can't remember minute

0:28:35 Lydia: Tell me why, patron. Can't remember week to week. Is that what you were going to say? I know

0:28:57 Thomas: To minute. I can barely remember the beginning of the sentence when I get to the end of it. Much less, yeah, a blog or something.

0:29:02 Lydia: Can they patron if you're listening can you start a message with us and then each week like like lay in you know the previous week or something I don't know so so we can see the reveal at the end yeah

0:29:10 Thomas: Somewhere, yeah. Help us with that. Yeah, I like the idea. I love the idea, I don't like the... What do they call it? Breadcrumbing, I guess? That's like kind of, I love it. However, I already forget what we're talking about. I don't even remember where I am right now. What show is this? I'm it's impossible. So, uh, yeah, that's just a note there. So, and, and

0:29:20 Lydia: Bread crumbing bread crumb a little bit bigger for us like they're

0:29:33 Thomas: That also applies to executile dysfunction, I do love that name. How can I make my law firm something, something, although it's weird because they definitely had more characters. Like I'm looking at some other names. They're much longer. So I don' t know what a little list of society offenders. Like it, but I know. I know. Sounds great. Love it. But don't know. Trans kids. I don't want to body shame, but Stephen Miller looks like he drinks blood. But like spills it, doesn't actually get the benefit of it, you know? Because shouldn't you at least get some like eternal youth looking thing?

0:29:44 Lydia: Teasing you purposeful What? I've got. Okay. What about the first letter of each of the words? Does that spell anything? Yeah. Youth. Yeah.

0:30:11 Thomas: Maybe not, I guess. I guess if he's just a head on the back of Professor Quirrell or whatever. Too bad I hit a boot. That's a a palindrome uh that famous it's the uh motto now it's the 51st state motto of Canada

0:30:15 Lydia: Quirrel. Yeah? Oh, I was gonna say a Canadian thing. Didn't know it was a boot boot instead of about. Too bad I hit a boot. Yeah. Yeah, it's what I know about Canada. Wayne Gretzky and too bad I hid a boot, yeah.

0:30:38 Thomas: Wayne is about Canada cyanitis disappointed in all the capitulating to fascism for secret attorney reluctantly changing her font Sex and gender are different things. Apprentice of adventure. A real person. Still rooting for the hamburgers to deliver more timely justice than the current system. Unfrozen caveman lawyer. Nick Fish. The doodly swoosher TM. A negative phenomenon. Oh, speaking of doodley swooshing, I guess we should have said we were on GAM. Was a GAM, it was just us and Eli, which, hey, that's cool, except they gave us like a really hard movie. Movie so did what

0:31:02 Lydia: So good. Yes. Out, and I made Made it harder. Yeah. Remember the my deep dive at the beginning?

0:31:22 Thomas: Yeah see exactly that's a great joke in reference to something that happened more than five minutes ago so I don't know what it is but now I remember no that's great um so find out how we did you a big it was an uphill climb I'll say that was the one of the worst movies ever I've ever seen um god awful check it out yeah negative phenomenon let's I'm adam is that also uh yeah that's also a palindrome now we're all doing palindromes okay wait gotta fight for your right to ex parte jay sank cavalry vehicular man's laughter would be at 120 with the benefit of those sweet sweet extra three hours in pacific time

0:31:39 Lydia: Was very bad. Little call out for our Q &A. Folks didn't check that out yet.

0:32:06 Thomas: However the math is incorrect because uh three hours three divided by 24 you'd be uh you know you'd at one eighth extra time I

0:32:12 Lydia: But these are lawyers. We've established that lawyers don't do math.

0:32:15 Thomas: Think is he he's not a lawyer

0:32:16 Lydia: But the lawyer audience, they don't care. They don't care about the math.

0:32:20 Thomas: Going to be 12 .5 percent uh and so yeah okay just just uh let me know Yeah. Pinching bridge of nose and not to mention the later, the more you charge the car, harder it is to go higher.

0:32:32 Lydia: He's on a math, a math

0:32:34 Thomas: Now, now this is just, this is just how batteries work. You know, like if you try to charge that whole time, it's hard to get that last bit of charge. The first, what's the stat? I don't know. The first like 70, 80 % of the battery takes as long as the last like 20 % or something. Definitely not that. That's not what you're thing. Diminishing returns?

0:32:34 Lydia: Kick. Opening mathematics.

0:32:54 Thomas: I don't know.

0:32:49 Lydia: The ROI. I know it's diminishing

0:32:54 Thomas: Pinching bridge of

0:32:55 Lydia: Returns. I was making a joke. I was! Lies.

0:32:59 Thomas: Nose and sighing deeply yet again is what I have to say to that.

0:33:02 Lydia: That's what I have to say to you.

0:33:04 Thomas: Even a blind squirrel can find these chunks. It's funny every time.

0:33:08 Lydia: It gets you every time.

0:33:09 Thomas: Look, I finally changed my name for real legally. Yay. Congratulations. And Thomas Freeman. All right. Finally, your turn. That took forever. I'm having a good time with these patron your names.

0:33:19 Lydia: Thank you to Cajun Killa, E .T., Fraud Fishy Hates Everything, Chris Simpson, Love the Extra Episodes, I Love the Democrats, Fecklessness is my fetish, baby.

0:33:23 Thomas: I still love that one. Well, I'll tell you what, there's a certain mayor. Oh, well, not yet, but there's this certain, uh, winner of a primary of a mayoral race who, you know, I think that's setting a new example for Democrats, hopefully.

0:33:41 Lydia: Gavelhead checking away. This Schultz, The Cincinnati Kid, Bob Loblaw's Law Podcast. Philly Basement Bar is back open and isn't taking this shit lying down. Thomas Smith President, American Honky Tonk Bar Association.

0:33:54 Thomas: Sorry that you lost your race apparently you're not in you're not in the running anymore we'll see if anyone wants to bring you in anyone else

0:33:58 Lydia: Know. I don't know. Know it's fine. I understand. Balticate, Philip Kizer. It was the asbestos of time. It was the worstest of times. Corinne Lann, a string of unpronounceable characters. Hors d'oeuvres in the court before we report. Malaika Chandler, Stubbs, the three-footed rescue dragon. Think that might be the slot that used to say elect Lydia Smith president.

0:34:22 Thomas: Well you say used to for like one week come on

0:34:24 Lydia: Got beat up by a three - footed rescue dragon. It's fine. Milo tyrants.

0:34:26 Thomas: There you go you should have had a patron who's a time Lord, an unaging time Lord that pledged your thing. We don't know if this patron still exists at all. I like Thomas, the president of American. You need somebody who is yeah. Frozen and carbonite to do it.

0:34:40 Lydia: It's true. Yeah.

0:34:43 Thomas: It's the trick.

0:34:43 Lydia: But I only have unfrozen. Caveman lawyer. Milo Meadsong is fighting petty tyrants RhondaTheDork.com Big Easy Blasphemy, Chris Waltrip, FRED R GROOTHUIS, Classic libtard, and Mitchell. Boop-boop-doop-doop.

0:35:00 Thomas: Champion to the stars. Thank you so much. Top patrons. I always get a kick out of that. So much fun. Love it. Makes my day. Makes me a week. Right, well, thanks so much to Heather. Thanks so much, Lydia and our patrons. We'll see for Rapid

0:35:14 Clip: This podcast is a production of Opening Arguments Media, LLC, All Rights Reserved. It is produced and edited by Thomas Smith, who also provided the fabulous intro and outro music used with permission.

0:35:32 Thomas: There's like and then you smoke yeah no okay it is a sex thing that's weird but