DOD171: Crashing Your Ex's Vacation

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:28 Tom: Welcome to Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's crossing every boundary. I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined, as always, by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. That would only be for patrons.

0:00:35 Thomas: It's the pegging episode.

0:00:41 Tom: We would only peg the patrons.

0:00:41 Eli: It's a very specific boundary of muscle, human muscle, a ring, if you will.

0:00:43 Tom: No. I'm curious if you guys, I wanted to start with just a hijack real quick. I'm curious if you guys have started your Christmas shop and we find ourselves in the end days of November as we record this. Did so.

0:00:59 Thomas: Oh.

0:00:59 Eli: Indeed I have, Tom. Indeed I have. As you know already, I took care of your families. Both of yours.

0:01:04 Tom: Which was By the way, delightful and thoughtful. Thank you very much.

0:01:07 Eli: Have you gotten to play me or are you waiting till Christmas?

0:01:08 Tom: Uh, We're gonna, I'm gonna wait, yeah, I'm not. I'm not letting the kids know.

0:01:11 Eli: Okay, waiting. Smiths, you guys waiting?

0:01:14 Thomas: So, unfortunately, you got something that was your idea, so I'm, I'm glad you, you got it, but I had told Arlo about this game, uh, I don't know why I'm saying like as though he listens, I don't, uh, yeah.

0:01:19 Eli: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

0:01:25 Tom: We got to be secretive about it. Now.

0:01:27 Thomas: I told Arlo about Mario Maker and he was like, I must have that in my veins immediately, he, he wanted it so badly, but I'm, I'm sitting here looking at like like

0:01:36 Tom: Did he melt it over a bent spoon before he got it in there, or just, just right?

0:01:38 Thomas: Practically Man, like pretty much. But And he's got so many games and I don't, I'm not doing the thing where I'm like, you spoiled ass kids, but like, he's got too many games. He's got so many that I'm like, okay, if you're not valuing them enough. Like I'm not, I don't want to get into a cycle, and maybe you can help me out here. I don't want to get into a cycle where I'm buying him 14 games and he plays each one for 10 minutes. Like I'm not, not doing that, you know, like come on, so yeah

0:01:41 Eli: Yeah.

0:02:02 Eli: Yeah, what is he, me and my Steam library described Exactly, hey, how about fuck you, Thomas, maybe, maybe Arlo just needs a little break from work every now and then and he gets bored or the game gets hard, and he kind of gets the gist of what it is, but he doesn't want to get good at it.

0:02:04 Tom: Did

0:02:05 Thomas: Exactly. I So Because we've, we've had this conversation, I won't rehash it, but in terms of like, I am letting him play Switch, we are doing some timers, some, though he's not playing forever and ever, but you know, holidays are a special time, he gets to play a little more, you know, when they're off, but, but I did draw the line at, like, Like, yeah, but you keep wanting a new game, new game, new game.

I'm going to at least do a little bit of the, like, all right, you got to at least play this one for a while, you know, otherwise. But then, lo and behold, because I was like, oh, I have to buy it, that was the other thing. It became a good excuse because, like, now that he's playing more than I am, it's not stuff that I've bought already anymore.

So I was like, oh, can't get Mario Maker, I got to buy it, you know, and that's just, we'll see, maybe Christmas or whatever. And then Eli sends it over, but I kept, I didn't show him yet, so I think we're holding it till Christmas is the short answer, but very

0:03:04 Thomas: Excited.

0:03:01 Eli: Nice. Yeah, keep it tight.

0:03:04 Thomas: He is, he is going to lose it when he sees that at Christmas. And I am going to 100% tell him I got him it and like, you don't exist. And it was entirely.

0:03:07 Eli: He's gonna love it, that's fair, you know what, you gotta do, it's a different kind of gift, but it's still a gift. We stand, we get it, you got to do what you got to do. Yeah, but I took care of all that. The only person in my life who I haven't taken care of yet, because my wife has a really good gift list, my mom and sister, they do that. The only person who I don't know what I'm getting is Heath, Bethesda, and Wright.

0:03:31 Thomas: Interesting.

0:03:32 Eli: I got him cheese last year. And we're in a present truce, right? So we have a dollar limit on our Christmas gifts this year.

0:03:36 Thomas: It's always good.

0:03:31 Tom: You Really? Well, Wait a second, I just want to throw in, you got him cheese? Do you know what Cog Disc got Heath last year for Christmas? We

0:03:43 Thomas: Huh? Is it, is it cheese?

0:03:50 Eli: Steaks.

0:03:51 Tom: Got him, like, a cheese humidor.

0:03:52 Thomas: Is the answer cheese?

0:03:53 Tom: I forgot what it's called, but it's a specific little humidor for your cheese. And we got him this melting thing to make raclette. And then we sent him cheese.

0:03:56 Eli: Oh, cheese humidor. Yeah.

0:03:57 Thomas: Oh, my God.

0:04:03 Tom: I think it's hilarious that unbeknownst to... We all sent him cheese presents.

0:04:03 Thomas: God. Hey, Heath, if you want to re-gift that, I would like 100% if he doesn't like it.

0:04:08 Eli: We I'll take some

0:04:10 Tom: That's so funny to me.

0:04:11 Eli: Fucking cheese. Yeah.

0:04:12 Thomas: Or Tom, if you want to buy the exact same gift. Have you got two of those? Like, that sounds delicious.

0:04:16 Tom: I have your gift already,

0:04:17 Thomas: Oh, is it cheese related?

0:04:18 Eli: Yeah.

0:04:17 Tom: Thomas. I have your gift already. It is not Cheese related, unfortunately. Unfortunately,

0:04:19 Eli: I got him cheese last year so I have to get him something that isn't cheese has to be under so I nailed it with Ann his fiance uh soon wife to be fucking nailed it nailed it with kind of sort of step kid thanks to Ann's help I got I even got a good one for Cecil this year like I actually thought of something smart because I'm always like cooking but then I don't know what the fuck he wants and that's like someone being like here's a deck of cards I hear you like magic but I I think I nailed it with C-Dog this year So I was pretty pretty excited for all of my gifts

0:04:43 Thomas: Yeah. Wow. Hey, Eli, should we tell Tom what his gift is? All right, we'll tell him. Tom, we stole the company. You don't have to work anymore. It's all ours.

0:04:49 Eli: We stole the company from you buddy you're welcome no

0:04:54 Thomas: Yep.

0:04:54 Tom: But am I still getting checks well that's not I don't have to work anymore that's I have to work different somewhere else now

0:04:55 Thomas: Nope. But you don't have to work. Work also we got you fired from your day job you don't have to do it anymore man no more money but no more shocking your balls awake it's for your own good

0:05:01 Tom: Oh you don't understand how have to works we

0:05:08 Eli: I've been posing as an 11 year old girl for the last couple of years on the internet and

0:05:13 Thomas: That's not related he's this is a new segment Eli we're still on

0:05:14 Eli: Uh today on my Myspace I accused you of molesting me so um yeah you'll get a call from the cops it's fine it's

0:05:19 Tom: This is Jesus christ Jesus christ that's

0:05:25 Thomas: But importantly no more working so much

0:05:25 Tom: Funny that is

0:05:25 Eli: Um Wait till you see what's in those signatures of those those emails I've been sending you, it's a, we have fun pranks. But hey, you guys know the only thing worse than secretly posing as co-workers for just over two years so you could get someone arrested for child pornography possession? Why?

0:05:43 Tom: Not fucking

0:05:44 Thomas: Not much is worse than that that's

0:05:45 Tom: No

0:05:45 Eli: It's the auto ads. The auto ads, which I got a weird one the other day, truly like an upsetting one the other day. It was for wine and gift, gift and wine. Have you guys gotten one of these?

0:05:58 Thomas: Because they heard that you haven't Heath bought about anything. So

0:06:00 Eli: These are the saddest fucking ads there's like a dog barking in the background you hear broken glass and sirens and it's just like hey ladies a dollar off Absolute vodka that's what we can give you a dollar one fucking dollar but you know what it matters it adds up because you drink seven of those bottles a week and then you get another one for free wine and gift you can come in person you can order it online Drizly do whatever the fuck you need to do to get your fix am I right anyways, you can prevent that for as little as a dollar over at patreon.com/dearolddads where not only we get an extended commercial-free version of every single show but you'll also get all the bonus material we've created we got some AMAs there we had a fun little conversation about hot dogs on amazing

0:06:19 Thomas: Wow.

0:06:28 Thomas: Jesus.

0:06:29 Tom: I love

0:06:46 Thomas: Hey, remember how weird dinner party questions was? We got, Eli decided.

0:06:51 Eli: Listener favorite listener favorite dinner party questions questions the heart and soul of our podcast dinner party questions exactly

0:06:54 Thomas: Yeah, exactly. Eli decided I'm going to want to. Yeah.

0:06:59 Tom: That we took his dinner party question and ran with it for 45 minutes though 45 minutes on this one

0:07:03 Thomas: Yeah.

0:07:03 Eli: Important legendary anyways check it out patreon.com/dearolddads oh yeah

0:07:14 Tom: Right so I ran across this am I the asshole and I thought it would be a great I don't know almost holiday themed am I the asshole I also think maybe we might three bears this one so I'm curious where we all land on it uh it's a longer am I the asshole so I'm gonna go ahead and read it and then we can kind of launch into this a little bit you am I the asshole for accepting accepting an invitation to my ex-husband's family Christmas vacation and upsetting my two kids' stepmom. Divorced for almost five years. We share two kids, a 7 and a 12-year-old, both daughters. He usually has them on the weekends during the school year. My husband got remarried to his wife in mid-April of 2023. His wife has a 13-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. Relationship this past Saturday my ex and I hosted a birthday party for our 12 year old daughter at a bowling alley since that's one of the things she enjoys doing well I love the detail in here like

0:07:26 Eli: I stand well

0:08:07 Tom: It would like Yeah, we threw a party at the so

0:08:08 Thomas: Yeah.

0:08:07 Eli: I'm glad to hear it yeah lest you think we forced your 13 year old to bowl relax

0:08:12 Thomas: Okay.

0:08:12 Tom: Fucking we invited some relatives and friends of hers and of course our youngest his wife and his stepdaughter were also there I was conversating you were talking I fucking hate that so much let's fucking conversate

0:08:25 Eli: Chat GBT yeah

0:08:24 Thomas: Yeah. Is this like a police report? Like, at 0500, I was conversating with an individual.

0:08:29 Tom: Yeah

0:08:28 Eli: Exactly my name's in lowercase levels

0:08:32 Tom: Oh jumped in their vehicle it's a car it's a car brad it's a fucking car was conversating with my mom ex former mother-in-law and my youngest daughter when my former mother-in-law brought up family vacation during Christmas and asked if I wanted to go I looked at my ex who shrugged his shoulders and said that maybe it would be a good idea for the kids dude

0:08:34 Eli: Yeah okay

0:08:35 Thomas: Yeah.

0:08:51 Eli: Pause who the fuck takes that as a yes

0:08:53 Thomas: Yeah.

0:08:56 Tom: We got got to get there because there is nothing but problems here. My youngest then got excited, begging me to say yes. That was enough to make me say yes. If it would make my kids happy, I was willing to do anything for them. My youngest ran off to tell my oldest the news. The next day, I get a call from my ex. He told me that he and his wife got into an argument after she was informed of me attending the trip. She even accused him, his mother, and me of being disrespectful towards her, not considering her feelings. I can hear her from over the phone saying that I am no longer his wife and I should not have been invited. I asked him to put me on speakers so I could speak to her. I told her that my kids were the reason why I'm going on this trip. She didn't want to accept that and continued to say that just because I share kids with my ex does not mean I should tag along on his family vacation, especially now that he's married to someone else.

0:09:46 Tom: It almost sounded like she was crying as she said that. My ex tried to calm her down but she wouldn't listen so we both agreed to end the call so they could talk was I wrong so I gotta know where you guys are at there's so fucking much in this enormous am I the asshole to unpack

0:10:04 Eli: So let's say this this situation gets slightly complicated when the kid is like oh please, oh, please, oh, please. But you should be so against going on vacation with your ex that your kid wouldn't dream of saying, oh, please, oh, please, oh. Because like, here's the thing, right? I'm not, I don't want to go full Tom Curry, right? I believe that you can see your exes on the visible light spectrum after you are no longer fucking each other. I get it. Ball slapped the back of thighs and you've got to go your separate ways. That's all all I'm saying right going on vacation with someone else's family is fucking bizarre especially because the husband's the ex-husband's response was right I wouldn't go on a vacation with friends if I said hey do you want me to come on this thing I'm being invited on and they were like I'd be like oh well no I certainly don't need to be in a space where I am not excitedly welcome I

0:10:14 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

0:10:52 Tom: What everything about this I think start to finish like is just out other than they went to a bowling alley that's the only part of this story where I think any where I think anything even remotely appropriate even accidentally happened in this story like what fucking world is this fucking mother-in-law living in that she is inviting and trying to put plans together that involve the kids in front of the kids you never do that you they got a seven-year-old kid the the youngest kid is the one right there. You had a seven year old kid and you're like, hey, you know, we should discuss possibilities in front of second graders.

0:11:13 Eli: Don't even approve of that I know have to spell the word cookie in front of my son why the fuck would you try to make plans yeah

0:11:48 Thomas: Yeah.

0:11:51 Tom: Dude, it's fucking unhinged. My that's very first thought reading this was like, that feels so manipulative by an, mother-in-law who wants a relationship with the first wife rather than a relationship with the second wife. That Because you would never, no sane grown person over the age of 19 would ever, in front of children, be like, let's make a plan where the kids overhear a thing. They're Definitely Going to want To do. You're

0:12:07 Eli: Right Who Wants candy Who Wants Exciting New activity. No, totally agree. Now let me say this. Do I empathize with the mother-in-law? Obviously, yes, because everyone knows what the second wife is like, right? The first one Was the one who bore your son's children and The Second One Met him at Pilates Class. Like, look, we, and we fucking stand, but I'm just saying your mom isn't like, I bet she sucks a ton of dick. Like, your mom's not excited about your second wife, okay?

0:12:21 Tom: Right Okay You Gotta be Careful Here Eli Bosnick Strong

0:12:49 Eli: Okay Well Maybe Your Mom That Haley could sure throw a punch, let me tell you

0:12:49 Tom: Disagree In Every, like I just Just say, I will I will say my, my dad very clearly likes Haley much more than he likes my ex and Haley's, Haley's family likes me a whole lot more than her her ex.

0:12:57 Eli: Oh

0:12:58 Thomas: Oh,

0:13:05 Eli: Come on, I Think using Your Specific example is Deeply unfair to your dad's. Like, you know what I like about Hayley is that she, um, she doesn't go to the potter's house and kill the parents while attempting to kill the boy and get rebounded Bond by her own curse. I really love that about Hayley, it's never happened To her, not even once

0:13:21 Tom: So, Oh no,

0:13:25 Thomas: Okay However, my nomination for Tom dad fact that he'll casually drop one day would be that Tom's dad is still in regular contact with his ex, like all the Time, just Like, like, they're friends.

0:13:36 Tom: No, no,

0:13:35 Eli: Sure Well And Maybe they Don't He could be And they just haven't mentioned it Right, Tom would find out and be like, that's None of my business With

0:13:39 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:13:37 Tom: No, no, no. My dad, my dad and I have to, he, he maintains a polite relationship because he wants to see the kids.

0:13:44 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah. With you.

0:13:49 Eli: You With You A cool but polite relationship with You, his son You're

0:13:52 Thomas: I think

0:13:56 Tom: Yeah I I wonder what a polite relationship would like, that'd be a remove on a remove, that'd be But Like The Mother-in-law here is fucking nuts, but it's so, like, is the lady writing this, like, so is the the bio Mom Of These kids I

0:14:03 Eli: Hard to Do, hard To Master

0:14:09 Thomas: Everyone kind of is. Think I everyone here sucks.

0:14:12 Eli: Everyone except the seven-year-old Sucks. Oh,

0:14:14 Thomas: Yeah, true.

0:14:15 Tom: I don't think the new wife sucks here, like decisions Are Being Made I

0:14:18 Eli: No The New Wife Sucks

0:14:18 Thomas: Are you kidding me? This new wife sucks real hard.

0:14:19 Eli: You Call No, don't, come on

0:14:22 Thomas: You can't.

0:14:22 Eli: My special Vacay, get the

0:14:24 Thomas: Shut up. Yeah. Yeah, that's,

0:14:24 Eli: Fuck, grow up If Max wanted me to, I would go, go on vacation with Adolf Hitler, right?

0:14:30 Tom: Would go, no No, I, I think, I think she's, I would go fucking ballistic. I would, I would go absolutely fucking ballistic if my family vacation was going to, without any consultation, we're not even going to talk about it, we don't even, you don't even give me the the courtesy of the conversation, but all of a sudden my family vacation, which I, I'm using presumably, like, my precious work time off of in order to have, have, right

0:14:31 Thomas: Yeah.

0:14:57 Eli: That, that your mother is planning, keep in mind

0:15:00 Tom: That vacation is now, without any conversation with me, with no respect at all to how I might feel about it, is now going to involve my wife's ex, that, that is such an unhinged and rude and disrespectful thing to do, to not even involve her in the conversation. I, I would blow my fucking top Even if I would Have said yes, even If I would have said yes, I would be Beside Myself Mad, no

0:15:21 Thomas: Oh yeah, yeah.

0:15:17 Eli: Rude 100 Total In Agreement in how rude it is, but Tom, you and I both know that you would be sitting next to that gentleman in a monster energy hat right now talking about how you could work an Uncle Cracker concert into your family vacation. If that's it, you would not call him crying, hey

0:15:42 Tom: I, no, because look, here's the other thing, I would not, like There's No World In

0:15:45 Eli: Man It's Me Tom Oh boy, Haley really Done goofed on this One, I know there's a bubble Buffalo Wild Wings you haven't been to in that area and you're really Excited about it

0:15:51 Thomas: Yeah,

0:15:52 Tom: But But In this story, to be fair, in this story the the new wife doesn't call anybody, that's not something that happens in the story, so yeah She's

0:16:06 Eli: Making him call, she's There, she gets put on speakerphone What, do you think he was like, I'm gonna call, and she was like, no, stop, don't know. She, she absolutely was like, well, I guess if you want to call her a teller, I used to fucking absolutely.

0:16:12 Tom: Oh But I would be like, well, you're gonna make a call and put an end to this, that's not how this is gonna work, I'm I'm

0:16:25 Eli: That's why she may have been caught, but she was, but

0:16:27 Tom: Not Blowing Like, like let's say it's a week vacation, I'm not spending 50 of my time off of work that I get in a year on a vacation with my wife's ex without anybody even bothering to make a, like, a having a conversation with me about my, my thoughts on that, like that's A crazy Person Thing To do

0:16:42 Thomas: That's something that does need to be planned together ahead of time fully, you know, yeah.

0:16:45 Tom: Right

0:16:48 Eli: Think about all you'd learn about how to put lights on the underside of your car, Tom. Like there's so much, there's so much you could learn and grow from that experience.

0:16:50 Tom: Like I I will acknowledge, like, there are a lot of people out there who have these sort of co-parenting relationships where everybody gets along and everybody involved in the transaction action seems to be like friendly, if not even friends. And I think that that's, personally, I don't get that. Like, everybody knows, it's not a surprise to listeners of this show. Like, I think that's a weird boundary crossing, but like that's descriptive, not proscriptive. Like, I'm not saying like you have to have the same boundaries I have. I think it's fucking weird, you fucking do you. But even if you have that kind of a relationship, the excuse that this lady gives is like, well, you know, I would go on that vacation if it would make my kids happy. The kids were already going to go on the vacation. It's not like if she didn't go on the vacation, yet the kids were always going.

0:17:45 Eli: This is a wildly important factoid that had not occurred to me. Yeah, I I Was Sympathizing because it was a chance for a kid to go somewhere, but if The Kid Gets To go No matter What Okay Well, if the kid gets to know no matter what, she's just, there's no saving grace, there's no complication whatsoever, fatal

0:17:51 Tom: No, they were always going.

0:17:57 Thomas: Yeah, they were always coming. Look

0:18:04 Tom: None, none. A

0:18:05 Thomas: They're Trying to What's the movie with the with the twins who try to trick their parents to get back together, they're Trying to Parent Trap, the kids are trying to Parent Trap them and they get excited about it Yeah

0:18:16 Eli: Attraction

0:18:11 Tom: Parent trap. Yeah. Cause I, cause I, so let me bring you back to the story. So listeners are reminded. So I was conversating, again, with my mom, my ex, my former mother-in-law, and my youngest daughter when my former mother-in-law brought up family vacation during Christmas and asked if I wanted to go. So presumably, they are all taking a family Christmas vacation, and the add-on is the ex-wife.

0:18:25 Thomas: Okay Back to the conversation, huh They're All Going But But it's the, like, is the mother-in-law in charge of the trip or something, does she do the, because that, that's a weird setup, isn't it, and

0:18:51 Tom: Well, I think sometimes grandparents will set up trips, like family trips, especially if they've got more money.

0:18:54 Thomas: I guess All I'm Saying Is That's Slightly different than, like, oh, you and Hayley are planning a trip and then you hayley's ex is on, you know, it's a little different if it's like family trip that grandma is planning. I don't know, it's slightly different, I'm not saying it's necessarily like fine, but it's Like a Little Different But The main thing is, like, obviously there needed to be one at more conversation before pulling the trigger on this, like that's at a minimum. I'll confess to, like, when I read this I might have misread it because I do a thing where someone starts saying, um, mother-in-law, my ex, my friend, and my brain goes And I don't, I assume the wife was like there for that conversation and then just didn't say anything or something. Like, I just, my brain assumed She was, because why wouldn't she be there at The birthday, why

0:19:11 Tom: No No I Hear what you're Saying, but Oh

0:19:41 Eli: Just Standing There silently shaking

0:19:43 Thomas: Wouldn't She Be at The The party, it was at a bowling alley, which the you

0:19:43 Eli: Your head back And Forth Oh

0:19:46 Tom: Well I think she Was there But They were all having this conversation without her is The Way It's Written

0:19:47 Eli: Don't Go To Get Nachos

0:19:47 Thomas: Know What I mean Oh Is That What's Yeah She

0:19:51 Tom: Yeah

0:19:51 Eli: That's, you gotta You gotta keep your your eye On The prize She

0:19:53 Thomas: Was Though Actually She's the bowler and she was like taking it seriously and no one else was and she's up there like, guys, I have an Incredible Game Going Yeah Everyone Else Was planning This trip

0:19:59 Eli: She Pulled A Perfect 300 that Night, but Her But Her husband remarried her ex, it's hard to tell which is true and which is false

0:20:08 Thomas: Okay, I think we actually are all probably pretty much in agreement on this one. But, right, I think we could also argue who is the biggest asshole. I think that would be a fun one.

0:20:19 Tom: Right, so I think the order of asshole is almost tied between mother-in-law and And the husband, absolutely blame her for that

0:20:25 Eli: Mother-in-law is trying to reclaim her family and we cannot blame her for that she doesn't want to go on vacation with Ashley. She doesn't want to, Tom, she, she doesn't have anything to talk to about this 26 year old, about, okay, they're three generations separate, she has no idea what to say to this Pilates instructor her, her son met on a Hinge, okay, time has left her by her, and Beatrice got along super well, she was there for the birth, gave the daughter that doll she had as a grandparent.

0:20:36 Tom: Look, you are mother-in-law

0:21:03 Thomas: Oh, so the mother-in-law is trying to parent trap. Is that what you're thinking?

0:21:06 Eli: Yes, the mother, this is absolutely she's trying to recapture the family she was promised at that wedding in the beautiful springtime in Nantucket. She looked gorgeous. This new one and him got married in Vegas because she likes it there. That's his words, not hers. His words.

0:21:07 Thomas: Oh, okay. I

0:21:08 Tom: Is totally trying to parent trap, that's what I think makes her the asshole.

0:21:22 Thomas: God, that's, wow. I think we can all agree the husband is the worst. That's absolutely the worst. Because You could 100% tell that he takes no active hand in planning anything, is relying on all the labor, emotional labor, of the women around him, and then it's like, "Oh yeah, I guess I'll be fine," and then, like, didn't have a conversation, yeah, and

0:21:26 Tom: Yes.

0:21:29 Eli: Yes, the husband is one billion percent the worst.

0:21:43 Eli: She's mad. She's mad. I'm calling because she's mad?

0:21:46 Thomas: Yeah, exactly. And probably told his current wife, "Oh, she just like butter way in," and, like, "I don't, I couldn't do anything about you know? Like, I guarantee you he told some bullshit version of the story to the wife, you know, and cause, like, if he was a responsible citizen, he should be taking the L on this and being like, "Hey, I, I should have said, I wasn't sure how to react in that situation."

0:22:00 Eli: 100%. She should have found his body hanging in the garage, and the apology should have been in the note. That's what should have happened.

0:22:14 Tom: Look, look, the, the mother-in-law, like, Eli's just wrong. The mother-in-law is clearly the biggest asshole right? But like, there, she she should never be bringing this up. First of all, it's a rude thing to ask,

0:22:20 Thomas: No.

0:22:20 Eli: She's trying to recapture her family, Tom! Oh, you don't know how often she keeps quiet about this. You have no idea how many times her lips have been sealed against her will.

0:22:34 Tom: Then to bring it up in front of a kid, is it's inexcusably awful. Like, that, is a, that's a cruel thing to do, that is

0:22:38 Eli: Last Thanksgiving, when she decided she was keto, and I made all these special dishes for her. Did anyone say anything? But I want to have vacation with my actual daughter, and all of a sudden I'm the villain, Tom? Yeah.

0:22:51 Tom: Your actual daughter, but, like, what, what's, what crazy to me is the other two adults standing there, the ex-wife and the, uh, uh, husband, they both had the opportunity to be like, "Actually, this is not an appropriate place for us to have this conversation, and not all parties affected are here. So why don't we table this for a minute?" Like, let's just fucking relax.

0:23:14 Thomas: Yeah.

0:23:14 Tom: But instead homeboys just like, and just like fucking shrug emojis at the problem. And I actually think it's an asshole move to accept, accept the invitation. You, yeah, it's, it's insane, new

0:23:17 Eli: Abstain, it's insane to accept the invitation, thank

0:23:21 Thomas: Yeah. Oh, it is. It is. It I still think that, that her doing that in the face of the child. So in order of assholery for me, and it doesn't mean that last place is not an asshole, just to be clear. Order of assholery for me, husband, 100% first, mother-in-law second, this ex third. Well, fuck, but what about this wife is, I don't know. That's, where do I put her in the mix? That's tough. You know, oh,

0:23:43 Eli: You correct, okay.

0:23:53 Eli: So, the, the, obviously correct answer is husband, ex-husband, first, writer of the post, second, uh, new wife, third. Third, new wife third, mother-in-law fourth.

0:24:01 Thomas: Wow. What?

0:24:06 Eli: Mother-in-law.

0:24:03 Tom: Wife third, you're Fucking Insane.

0:24:07 Thomas: Yeah, I don't know about this, man.

0:24:08 Tom: No,

0:24:08 Eli: Fourth, she's just trying to get her family back, Tom. Cosine

0:24:10 Tom: She is not allowed to do that. That's insane. That's

0:24:16 Thomas: Yeah. I need to do some forensic study of this. Okay. I look, I read it. I a hundred percent read it. I, but when it comes to family relationships, my brain struggles, it's like, it's like, so Eli picture you doing math. That's me. Like when, when they start talking about like, oh, my mother-in-law, it's like sign of the, uh, you know, cosine over the, I'm just like, okay, math. My, and so like, Like, I think I did. So let's get very forensic reading, close reading.

0:24:17 Tom: Insane, no.

0:24:34 Eli: Of the, okay. Yes.

0:24:41 Thomas: So we have a mother-in-law you think is in charge of this thing, right? You think she's like, okay, so got married, conversating with my mom. Okay, wait. So wait, her mom is there.

0:24:51 Tom: No.

0:24:51 Thomas: Oh, no,

0:24:45 Eli: She's planning the vacation No, no, no, it's only one mom, and it's the mother-in-law, ex-mother-in-law.

0:24:54 Tom: Yeah,

0:24:55 Thomas: No, no, no. I was conversating with my mom, ex, former mother-in-law, and my youngest daughter. So I guess that would be like grandparents are coming to the thing.

0:25:01 Eli: I, right, yeah, correct.

0:25:02 Tom: I, Right.

0:25:06 Thomas: Okay, gotcha. Mother-in-law brought up family vacation during Christmas and asked if I wanted to go. I, so the fact, okay, there's so many things wrong with this, so here's mine's contingent. Because if the mother-in-law was like the planner of the entire thing, then she goes a little bit down on the assholery for me, but If she's just like one member of this family trip who was like, "Hey, you want to go in front of the kid does it say she's planning it? I think it just says I think we assumed that, yeah.

0:25:22 Eli: I think it says she's planning planning it, I think she's I think Tom, read back the record if you would I always thought it was good, yeah. Sucks that she stole the podcast. She's

0:25:34 Tom: Oh. I was

0:25:35 Thomas: Glad we hired that transcriptionist to, yeah. It's good, use some money. I

0:25:46 Tom: I was conversating with my mom, ex, former mother-in-law, and my youngest daughter when my former mother-in-law brought up family vacation during Christmas and asked if I wanted to go. Now, I think if you're bringing it up and you're inviting other people, you clearly are in charge.

0:26:01 Eli: Planning it,

0:26:00 Thomas: Would hope I'm just saying, if on the off chance, just a little caveat, on the off chance she's not the one planning it, that makes her extremely more asshole. Is all I'm saying.

0:26:01 Eli: Yeah, yeah, Obviously, if she's inviting her to someone else's vacation, yeah. That's weird.

0:26:09 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Well, it's their trip, but, like, you know what I mean? Like, I could imagine that. Anyway, no.

0:26:14 Eli: Incorrect.

0:26:15 Tom: All right, so I think it's mother-in-law clearly first, and OP tied, new wife.

0:26:18 Eli: Just trying to get her family back tied

0:26:25 Thomas: Okay. No, you, come on. I call foul on that.

0:26:26 Eli: Hey, come on.

0:26:30 Tom: Wife, not the asshole at all. What did she do, tell me what she, tell me what she did wrong.

0:26:32 Eli: Not the asshole at all. She,

0:26:37 Tom: She got upset that she wasn't, dude.

0:26:33 Thomas: Okay. She's a bit much.

0:26:37 Eli: She made him call her for takesies backsies because

0:26:40 Thomas: Call and is crying in the background.

0:26:44 Tom: I feel like, okay, maybe I'm coming at this from, as as a person who has, has always in their life had really fucking limited, no, really, really limited vacation time and understands what it means to use that vacation time.

0:26:50 Thomas: Cried about their, no. Yeah, I was

0:26:58 Tom: For most people, no, most people get a two-week paid vacation is pretty standard. Like in America, that's what we get is a two-week paid vacation. The idea of using the one, even one of the 10 days that I get off in a year, on something nobody consults me about that might make me really fucking uncomfortable or just might make me like, well, this isn't how I'd want to spend one of my 10% of my time if it's one day. That's a big deal. To just be completely left out of the loop, yeah, I would fucking lose it. I would absolutely be beside myself

0:26:58 Thomas: Going to say that earlier, Tom. Most people are not live working like you are.

0:27:36 Thomas: I agree, but there's also the part where, why are you blaming? I mean, I, why isn't she going off on the mother-in-law? Cause like you know what I mean? Like, I feel like the mother-in-law trapped everyone into this situation, at least to start, not like irretrievably because she said it in front of the seven-year-old. Like, so, so that's a rough, so like I I get the, the new wife being upset, but the degree of upset she is plus the, how she's directing it toward the ex is a little much to me. That's a little much.

0:27:50 Eli: She because she's trying to get her family back Oh,

0:27:51 Tom: Because the lady agreed. I, yes, why?

0:28:06 Eli: See, here's the thing, I think the degree of upset, which Tom is echoing, I completely understand because I would be exactly that upset, I totally get it. It is the taking action about your upsetness that makes her the, the asshole. You, because you just gotta stuff that down, you gotta stuff it because con

0:28:21 Thomas: Oh, man in

0:28:21 Tom: What for? It's not for the good of the kids, remember the kids are already going on this trip so

0:28:25 Eli: No, of course the kids are already going, but because because

0:28:28 Tom: Why am I stuffing down being treated like an asshole, what do I need in this, who in this scenario? No, no, that's a good point, but in this scenario, you don't need anyone to love you

0:28:31 Eli: If there's ever conflict, people don't love you, you need your husband to love you

0:28:40 Thomas: This scenario you don't need anyone to love you, yeah

0:28:42 Tom: You don't, no, no, no, your husband. Well, why wouldn't your, why would your husband be mad at you in this scenario? Oh, that's, that, that's some pussy shit right there if he is going to be mad

0:28:47 Eli: Because you're making him call backsies making him well he is a boy he shrugged, he's a shrugging puss, you're dealing with a pure he

0:28:57 Thomas: He's a, yeah

0:28:57 Tom: Then she'll just ride over the top of him, he's not going to be mad at all. She'll just ride over the top of him because he's a spineless jellyfish who gives a shit, no

0:29:03 Eli: Is a spineless

0:29:04 Thomas: The dude is a hundred percent number one asshole, for me, 100 the dude, huh

0:29:04 Eli: Jelly man one asshole number

0:29:08 Tom: Way no, he's not the asshole for not responding better to a situation the mother-in-law created what the

0:29:09 Eli: One asshole, she's

0:29:10 Thomas: No oh, oh, yes, he is oh yes

0:29:16 Eli: Trying to get her family back she lost her husband less than a year ago, Tom her

0:29:19 Tom: He's trying to get the this

0:29:18 Thomas: He is, Tom I'm not even doing that bit, and I still agree with with

0:29:24 Eli: Husband didn't dance with Ashley at the wedding, her husband isn't people to her grandchildren, alright, you know what I'm saying, she misses him, she misses the feeling of family, she wanted that back together again

0:29:25 Tom: What you don't get to do that, you do not get to do you don't get to decide, oh

0:29:39 Thomas: No, the husband sits there and says, oh, yeah, maybe, and then doesn't follow up to resolve that. Because right away, here's the thing. I agree with you, Tom, that the mother-in-law is causing the thing initially. I think that she's up there on the list. But, okay, the man there has been handed a grenade, admittedly, handed a grenade.

0:29:59 Thomas: And he's like, I don't know. And then he just, like, drops it on his whole family. Instead of being like, yeah, he's number one.

0:30:04 Tom: He's an asshole yeah Yeah.

0:30:06 Thomas: Cause he needed to be like the in moment. Oh, Hey, we, why don't we talk about that? Cause he also needs to deal with the kids. Oh, you know, I'm not sure you come up with something right away for the presence of the kids. Oh, you know, I, you might have plans that weekend or, you know, Oh, we already bought the tickets. Unfortunately, you know, right away. That's easy. Come up with something. Oh, Hope his mom doesn't like contradict him, which which admittedly that could happen. Now they say this out loud. He could try to do a nice, easy lie to ease the kid's mind. And then the mom is like, no, we have to, I'll book it right now. It's

0:29:59 Eli: With the pin out no

0:30:37 Thomas: Fine.

0:30:37 Eli: I'll book it right now, there's three extra tickets available right here

0:30:38 Thomas: Yeah, that could happen. But, okay, so then in that case, you gotta be thinking fast. You gotta be on your feet. You you gotta hand it to the ex. You gotta say, you gotta take out your kid. No, you gotta be like directed to the ex. Oh, you know, you said that you had that thing that we can, you know, something yeah easy easy, now imagine you don't do that, imagine you don't do that, that was just phase fucking one, that's just extra credit for that guy, you don't do that. Okay, you freeze up, I get it, not everyone can think super fast, I get it, you're like, oh, yeah, maybe, what the next moment you're away from the kid, needs to be the conversation, hey, we can't, we can't, there's no way, we got to figure out a way to

0:30:45 Eli: You gotta pretend to choke don't you have that thing going there's

0:30:58 Tom: This is crazy. This is insane.

0:31:18 Eli: Absolutely

0:31:18 Thomas: Not do this, there's no way and and or like the new wife shouldn't be finding out later and then calling, like that's all, that's all preventable.

0:31:19 Eli: No you get us a day later

0:31:26 Thomas: Yeah, this

0:31:26 Eli: You this dude existed for 24 hours and was like, yeah, I hope the lions really take. Oh, babe, I forgot to tell you, I invited the mother of my children, who you're desperately attempting to replace. I invited her on vacation. You know that moment where you were really hoping to connect with my kids in a way you never had before? It's gonna be a little bit trickier, because their mommy, who fed them from her breast and loved them more than anyone ever has or ever will, will be there. But you know what, you go ahead and try and bond over reruns of The Gilmore Girls, Ashley, I'm sure it's gonna go fucking great. I'm sure you're gonna connect exactly the same womb as their real blood mother who pushed them

0:31:28 Thomas: Guy sucks.

0:31:54 Tom: Look fundamentally,

0:32:13 Eli: From her womb into the world

0:32:17 Tom: Whoever causes that, and this is, I think this is true of almost any scenario with very few counterexamples, examples, whoever causes the problem is the most responsible for it and is inherently apparently the biggest asshole. Like you cannot be a bigger asshole.

0:32:30 Thomas: What are you going to sit there as a dude and be like, oh, I need my mom to fix this problem, Tom?

0:32:34 Tom: You can't be a bigger asshole than the person who causes the problem.

0:32:38 Thomas: I disagree.

0:32:39 Tom: You can't be in almost any scenario because you didn't respond to a problem that you didn't create. Whoever causes the problem, the proximal cause is always the biggest asshole because that's that's the first domino.

0:32:39 Thomas: I think you can. No, because absolutely not. I think that's a simplistic way of looking at causality, Tom. Tom, I I think you could cause something that is pretty preventable. Cut, let's say, by the way, maybe the mother-in-law, maybe she's like, oh, I shouldn't have said that. Maybe she's slip of the tongue that's an easily fixable thing because, because there's more time for the mom.

0:33:05 Tom: Sure. But then we're giving, her we're an out for thoughtlessness, but not giving the response.

0:33:10 Eli: She's trying to keep her family together,

0:33:12 Thomas: No, no, no, Tom. Tom, I'm using it as an example to say that first action that causes something could be, oh, shit, thoughtless thing. The dude has all day to fucking work on this. So it's one thing to make a mistake.

0:33:13 Eli: Yeah.

0:33:15 Tom: Her family is already not together. That's there's a new family. Okay.

0:33:26 Tom: So Wait a minute, let's let's, let's pull this

0:33:28 Thomas: I was even giving the dude the credit if he couldn't think of it in the moment. I was even going to say, fine, maybe maybe the dude. Oh, he doesn't think of a good answer in the moment. Fine. He still has all fucking day to fix this all day to fix it.

0:33:28 Tom: Apart. So But like there's, there would be nothing for him to fix if somebody hadn't already caused the problem. I guess that's right. Like, I, I, yeah. So I don't think you are more responsible for fixing the problem the best way than the person is who, who caused the problem to begin with. I can't understand that idea.

0:33:47 Thomas: Yeah, sure.

0:34:00 Thomas: I can. Let's say I'm in a, let's come up with a hypothetical.

0:34:03 Eli: Gaza.

0:34:03 Thomas: I'm at a movie theater.

0:34:04 Tom: Well, this is a perfectly good hypothetical.

0:34:06 Thomas: No, no, I'm at, no, no, we do because I tried this one, didn't work.

0:34:04 Eli: I have a less controversial

0:34:06 Tom: We don't have to move to a different analogy.

0:34:10 Thomas: I spill a drink and I'm like, oh, I spilled my drink and you're the janitor and you're like, all right, I'll come over and do it. You come over and you, instead of mopping it up, you spill motor oil on it and put a banana peel on it and you're like, there, it's clean. And then someone falls and breaks their neck. You'd be like, well, if they didn't spill it, I wouldn't.

0:34:10 Eli: Example example you shrug you

0:34:31 Thomas: I'm exaggerating for comedic effect.

0:34:30 Eli: Wait for your 25 year old wife to

0:34:33 Thomas: But like when something is more easily fixable the thing than that caused it. Like if the way that it was caused is something that I

0:34:34 Eli: Find out trying

0:34:29 Tom: Well, that's, okay, all right, right, right, yeah. I don't know that it was more fixable. I don't know that I agree with that here. I don't think that it was more fixable. I think she put him in a shitty situation in front of his kids.

0:34:42 Thomas: Think it was. Agreed. Agreed with that.

0:34:49 Tom: I think he reacted badly to it in the moment.

0:34:49 Eli: To get her family together coward

0:34:52 Tom: Moment yeah Which is understandable, like, he's got all these people standing around him, he reacted badly. I'm totally, badly, that's why I'm, I'm saying he's an asshole, but like the conversation, like the mother-in-law dropping that, like, hey, why don't you, that's cut, that's not an accident, that's not a spur of the moment thing.

0:34:52 Thomas: Agreed to that. Yeah.

0:34:53 Eli: Oh No. That was on purpose.

0:35:09 Thomas: That could be an accident.

0:35:10 Tom: That's a thoughtful thing.

0:35:10 Thomas: Oh, so you guys don't have.

0:35:11 Tom: That's not a reaction to something

0:35:12 Thomas: OK, Tom, I don't want to commit a hate crime against you and your Florida mom. But if you don't have, maybe some of this could, could be my bias of having a mom that just says the weirdest things all the time. And then you have to kind of like, oh, fuck.

0:35:13 Tom: Thing. That's not a reaction. Sure.

0:35:10 Eli: Um, Oh, Uh, Tom's got a mom apologetic, going, you see? Here's the thing, sometimes your mom does things that look abusive and sound abusive, but they're not, cuz she tried her best.

0:35:28 Thomas: All right. No,

0:35:39 Tom: But I

0:35:39 Thomas: He's saying the mom is the asshole. I think it's different. I think my calibration is like, yeah, OK, well, moms are going to mom like you're going to have that might be my bias. I'm, I'm admitting maybe this.

0:35:47 Eli: That's What I'm saying, you're a mom apologist, a well-known mom apologist. Thomas Smith, no.

0:35:49 Thomas: No. Well, yeah, kind of. No. Oh, oh, you said Tom. Oh, okay. I thought you said Tom was saying that you're saying I'm the mom of Paul. Oh, okay.

0:35:56 Eli: Thomas, you're the mom apologist. Mompologist.

0:35:58 Thomas: I must misunderstood.

0:35:59 Eli: You're the William Lane Craig of moms, you're

0:36:00 Tom: Mean

0:36:00 Thomas: I mean, in a way it's, in a way it's worse. Cause it's like taking for granted that my mom's always going to say something weird and stupid that I have to like fix. Like it's, it's not, it's not a flattering like position, you know, toward visa V moms. Yeah. Yeah, so maybe that's my bias. I don't know, Tom. What do you think?

0:36:14 Eli: A mom pessimist, pessimum. Yeah, she

0:36:19 Tom: I, I think, like, people who cause problems are responsible for the problems they cause, like, and having a history of causing problems doesn't make you less responsible, it actually makes you more responsible, like you have a bad trait where you were, like, yeah, everywhere I go, I cause problems, what I don't even understand, that idea of like, well, yeah, so she's shitty, but she's shitty a lot, so, like, I gotta give her

0:36:34 Eli: Tried her best, Tom Thomas's

0:36:42 Thomas: But, No, it's more just kind of clueless. Maybe there's a mom in your life who just kind of says the thing that makes sense in the moment. The kids are there. There's like, oh, this would make the kids happy. But it's kind of clueless about how obviously fucking weird that is.

0:36:57 Eli: Mom just sitting there, Disneyland cake for dinner, two Christmases, Thomas just shrugged his shoulders. Alright, I guess there's two two Christmases this year when grandma goes home, we'll talk about whether or not there's two Christmases. Kids, see, that's what I was going to say, that my wish has gone from this happening to Tom, which is still a pretty big wish for me, if Jesus is listening, to this conversation happening to Thomas, because Thomas would so clearly just go, like, like, oh no, I don't want that.

0:37:10 Thomas: All right. Well, anyway, we'll have the real conversation after my mom is gone.

0:37:31 Eli: Anyways, why do you think they always put those turkeys out on the video, they always, because when you get three strikes it's called a turkey, all right, well, there you go, ask an answer, I thought it was a Thanksgiving thing, I don't want you to come on my vacation, I just want to say that one more time, she's

0:37:31 Thomas: Yep, exactly.

0:37:48 Tom: So in the few minutes we have left, there's a, there's one last part, because we're never going to agree on who's the biggest asshole, because I'm right and you guys can't be persuaded, so I, I want to focus on the other part, because I see this all the time in comment sections of stories like this, and she fucking drops it in there and it makes me fucking crazy, where she says, in HER, it would make my kids happy, I was willing to do anything for them. You see that same commentary all the time in these sort of like family dynamics that involve step parents, where people will like cross over boundaries and be like, yeah, but the kid was smiling when I did it, the kid was smiling, and she, like, clearly wants to be a part of a family that is now all her ex-family, otherwise

0:37:49 Thomas: Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, hmm, yeah,

0:37:55 Eli: Trying to get her family back together,

0:38:33 Tom: There's no way she would go on this, because her kids were already going, they were already going on this trip, they were not going to be held back from this trip, they were going to go with grandma and fucking dad, presumably they were going on the trip from the fucking jump, they were going on the trip, and she's like, you know what, if it makes my kids happy, fuck it, I see this shit constantly where it's like, oh, it's not, every decision that should be made, should be made about the kids and what makes the kids maximally happy in every situation.

0:38:37 Eli: Yeah, well,

0:39:03 Thomas: Well, And it has a feel of like religion, where it's like, coincidentally, that's also the thing you want to do, you know.

0:39:03 Tom: Exactly

0:39:08 Eli: Yeah, it's just so happy, my god, agrees with me on everything, yeah.

0:39:08 Tom: Right, it,

0:39:11 Thomas: Yeah, well, my kid wants me to hate trans people, so

0:39:15 Tom: No,

0:39:14 Eli: It's crazy, it's crazy how this 2,000 year old book has all the things my kid wants in it. Uh, so this brings up a question that just occurred to me right, part of this must be that she wants to spend the holidays with her kids, right? And

0:39:26 Thomas: Yeah, that's it, that I was just thinking that too, Jesus,

0:39:29 Eli: So then my question becomes, because you're the only one in that situation, Tom, Tom, what the fuck do you do when you don't get to spend, do you spend the holidays with your kids, you get the holidays with your kids, right, oh, what the fuck do you do when you don't get to see your kids on the holidays?

0:39:38 Tom: Alternate, so I get every Thanksgiving, you

0:39:43 Thomas: Christ, kill

0:39:44 Eli: Yeah,

0:39:44 Tom: Just pick it, well, so this is normal for me, this is how I grew up my whole life, so we we never celebrated Christmas.

0:39:46 Eli: That's true. Oh,

0:39:45 Thomas: Yourself. That's why Eli and I couldn't do this, what are you doing for the holidays, ah, killing myself.

0:39:54 Eli: Yeah, I, I told you about this fight I had with my friends, right, so one one of our friend group, one yes, one of our friend group is going through a really bad divorce right now, and he's, he's not getting custody, his kids, he's gonna see his kids every three weeks or whatever it is, and I, from my heart, in a place of vulnerability, mentioned that if I ever got divorced, I would kill myself, and

0:39:58 Tom: No, what, Jesus, what,

0:39:55 Thomas: Yeah, uh, where they tried to stop you from killing yourself, oh, God, Jesus, what's oh, no, all right, Eli's the asshole, we can all agree, Eli's the asshole.

0:40:21 Tom: What, this is so supportive, supportive.

0:40:21 Eli: Everybody was like, you would you would kill yourself if you got divorced, and I was like, yeah, what am I supposed to do, get a one bedroom apartment in New Jersey and just fucking hang out for my every three weekends and they were like, that's what you're supposed to do, and I was like, absolutely not, are you fucking nuts?

0:40:29 Thomas: Oh, my god, Eli, oh, my god, dude, okay, I think we got it, Eli's the biggest asshole, everyone, we cracked it, Eli's number one.

0:40:42 Tom: Eli wins the, am I? Yes. Eli,

0:40:40 Eli: Okay, I'm just trying to get my family back together, I

0:40:44 Tom: A thousand percent the asshole.

0:40:46 Thomas: I love too that you clarified that

0:40:47 Tom: That's not your family.

0:40:48 Thomas: It wasn't like, oh, that slip of the tongue, where it's, ah, fuck, I said that and I regret it, Eli's like, no, he's like, what did you say, and then Eli goes on a 10 minute rant, just doubling down, yeah.

0:40:56 Tom: I'm going to write it down so you can refer back to this later.

0:40:59 Eli: I waited patiently for my turn to talk, and when I did, that was the advice I volunteered.

0:41:03 Tom: Yeah.

0:41:01 Thomas: Yeah, hey, You're like, hey, you're recording this, make sure you're recording this, okay, here's why you should kill yourself.

0:41:11 Tom: Just, just come to my tie a noose in your single apartment seminar afterwards. It'll be, it'll be great. It's good. It's good. You guys, we're going to drink brown liquor and tie nooses. That's what we're going to do.

0:41:15 Eli: Exactly. Yeah, I know, I go, it's okay, I'm not, I'm not sad, I got board games, I go every Thursday, it's a good time, absolutely not, that's like being like, oh, they turned the Nintendo off, but I sit there still moving the buttons for another 10 or 15 minutes. And I, let me say, let me say they've have already turned off the podcast, but let me say I know there are people who live full and happy lives after divorce, I think that rules, awesome for them, I am not one of them, there's also people who fucking get in horrible accidents and like go on to do amazing things, they're para olympians, I'm not one of them either, I'm just letting you know that if I'm, if it ends, it fucking ends, I've got one route down the bowling alley, and it's a strike or a gutter ball, if you know what

0:41:37 Thomas: Oh, my god, yeah, we've already got several emails, yeah, yeah,

0:42:10 Eli: I'm saying, well,

0:42:11 Thomas: I'm Never doing the... not custody, that's the part I could, like, you know, I could see different levels of this thing. Not custody of kids, unexcited, I'm with you on that. But Eli, um, maybe don't bring that up like right with a guy, if you know one of your friends is like, it's

0:42:26 Eli: He wasn't there, we were talking behind his back, I mean, would I have said it to him, maybe.

0:42:30 Thomas: A little harsh. Yeah. You shouldn't have dialed them in though. Like you did on

0:42:34 Eli: Yeah, No, that's true, I texted him afterwards because I was like, hey, I've been thinking All right, gentlemen, before we go, are you ready for your boomer joke? Women

0:42:38 Tom: Jesus christ

0:42:51 Thomas: No, aren't we done with this?

0:42:53 Tom: Let's keep I like this let's keep doing the boomers they're horrible

0:42:57 Eli: Are refusing to sleep with men now that Trump got re-elected. Apparently my wife predicted the election two years ago. Go, I ripped

0:43:05 Tom: All

0:43:07 Thomas: Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

0:43:14 Clip: Want to meet sexy DILFs in your area? Email the dads at DearOldDads.com or, better yet, send us a message on Patreon. You can follow us on all social media by checking the links in the show notes. And if you need more podcasts in your life, you can find Tom on Cognitive Dissonance, Thomas on Serious Inquiries Only, and Eli on Godawful Movies and all the Puzzle and the Thunderstorm shows. Dear Old Dads is edited and produced by my favorite DILF, Tom Smith, who also wrote and recorded the intro music, which is used with his permission. This podcast is a production of Daddy Issues LLC. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.

0:43:56 Eli: Oh, rip into it. Oh, wait, no, this is too early. You're the William Lane Craig of moms, don't come on my special vacay, get the fuck grow up for dinner.

0:44:01 Tom: And just

0:44:06 Thomas: You can't. Shut up.