DOD122: Eli Sleeps With Other Dads

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:28 Tom: Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's measured out its life in coffee spoons. I'm Tom Curry. I am joined, as always, by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen.

0:00:38 Thomas: Coffee spoons.

0:00:38 Eli: Okay, now I have no idea what that is. So, no?

0:00:40 Thomas: Yeah.

0:00:40 Tom: Yes, you do. TS Eliot, love song of JL for Proof Rock. It's like, there you go.

0:00:42 Thomas: Coffee spoons?

0:00:47 Tom: I knew you were going to get it. I know Thomas Would, and it was fun. It was just a fun little exclusionary

0:00:45 Eli: Okay, there it is. All right. I'm in. I'M IN. There we go.

0:00:52 Thomas: I don't mind a good thing even if I don't get it, but what's a, like, the coffee spoon is just a weird unit of measurement. What is that? Coffee cup? Tea spoon? Those are things. Coffee spoon? Don't know what that is.

0:01:01 Tom: It's a yeah, it's spoons, you know, like the spoon you use to stir your coffee, you know, they use one a day and

0:01:10 Eli: I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. I know the voices dying with a dying fall. Am I right? Is that the right one? Okay. I was so unsure. I am about to fucking blow this. I'm gonna be like, my coffee is a spoon, and I love it so much.

0:01:12 Tom: Yeah yeah exactly that's exactly the the right one yeah I was

0:01:27 Eli: Judge.

0:01:27 Thomas: You Guys are doing that fucking thing in every Christian movie where they start saying, that's actually even in normal shit, where they started Bible verse and then the guy's like, yeah, and we shall walk into them with the, oh, they die, Matthew 51, 75, 48, 97, and you're like, no one knows that, shut up, no one know that, assholes, god, I, that's the worst writing thing ever, except you guys are doing it for real, so maybe I'm the asshole.

0:01:38 Tom: Look you look

0:01:54 Eli: You go. You should read a little T.S. Eliot.

0:01:55 Tom: As a person who does not generally engage at all with, like, movies and pop culture and sports, like, I live my whole life not knowing what anyone is talking about, so I just wanted this one moment, this one moment, yeah,

0:02:06 Thomas: True, if anyone yeah yeah if anyone quotes any movie I've ever seen a single time in my life, then I'm usually like right with them, so, yeah, now they think about it, that's that's just a different medium, you know, we're all smart, you guys read smart stuff, and I watched fucking The Wedding Singer from 1998.

0:02:15 Tom: No, no,

0:02:17 Eli: Yeah, it's just a different medium. But Thomas, exactly. Something you could have told me yesterday. See? Great joke. Great joke. Does Tom have any fucking idea what we're talking about? Not at all. We as I've always said that what we should invent wedding singer references for tom right like we just figure out we get together before the right before the show we get Together and we're like and remember the part where he says usbc right and we just do it and the thing is like tom has young people in his life he tries to relate to at some some point if we play our cards right if we keep chanting U.S.C. at some point he'll turn to Amon and be like U.S.C. am I right am I write

0:02:24 Tom: Somewhat

0:02:27 Thomas: Yesterday, the first as good as T.S. Eliot, same thing,

0:02:35 Tom: Less problematic for sure, god, Damn it

0:02:42 Thomas: For the rest of the run of the show, yeah, well,

0:03:05 Tom: You're not

0:03:05 Eli: Amon sonic the hedgehog

0:03:05 Tom: Wrong, I would, I would, I would. Well, wait a minute. Now I need to know, like when you guys watch a movie, do you just encyclopedically remember those fucking lines or do you Just watch the movie over and over again?

0:03:09 Eli: Absolutely

0:03:21 Thomas: A, anything, lot, as a kid, I, I did watch over and over again, and that's how I remember it, and then I was exaggerating, like, there are some, and it also depends because the most quotable movie in the world, in my opinion, is The Big Lebowski, and that one is so dense that you can't just watch that shit once, like, you, if you've got a friend quoting group, which I did once upon a time, like, my brother and his friends love to quote it. And I was like, oh, I'll check this out. If you want to try to keep up with a group of people that quotes Big Lebowski, I mean, that's like a part-time job that you now have because that one is so dense.

0:03:51 Eli: Yeah no it's a it's a I

0:03:53 Thomas: It's great. I fucking love it. But like every is quotable. So it's like, well, geez, you have to know every single line of a movie. That's a lot. And they're complex too. They're not simple for some of them. So, but other movies, it's, like, they're so memorable or it's so easy to kind of, you know, it really depends on the movie, I think, where

0:04:10 Eli: KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I SAW ANCHOR MAN BUT IT INSTANTLY BURNED ITSELF INTO MY CONSCIOUSNESS AS A TEEN AND I QUOTED IT UNTIL YESTERDAY JUST CONSTANTALLY LIKE Like, they, yeah.

0:04:14 Thomas: Yeah. Napoleon Dynamite

0:04:20 Tom: Okay.

0:04:20 Thomas: Too. Same, same timeframe.

0:04:22 Tom: Generally speaking, as a, as a general rule of life, I don't like to watch the same movie more than once. I just don't. I'm like, I already saw that. I don't, I I don't, go so watch something else. I did, I don't remember any of this that, and they're like, oh, from this, do you remember the line? I'm like, no, I don't remember every

0:04:34 Thomas: We get it. You're such an intellectual Tom. We got it. God fucking so much.

0:04:37 Tom: Line from every fucking no, I'm

0:04:38 Thomas: You's so much better.

0:04:38 Tom: The anti like I don't know, but

0:04:39 Thomas: You so much, but wait,

0:04:40 Tom: Anchorman I saw probably three or four times in the same weekend because I was working, I was work down in Cincinnati, Ohio, and

0:04:49 Thomas: Plus you literally had the job. Oh no. I'm thinking I'm sorry. I think a 40 year old virgin. Yeah, like the best by a job where you have to, you had that job, right? Where am I making that up? Didn't you have the yeah you sold the bullshit av yeah I've

0:04:53 Eli: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. No, he was a speaker, TV guy, yeah?

0:05:00 Tom: Yeah. Yeah. I worked at Circuit City yeah for a while, but I, I, this, I had this terrible assignment at one of my, at the first title company that I worked at. So in Cincinnati, they had offices, and the guy who ran the offices, who had the only title insurance producer's license, went missing, and he'd been missing for like a month, and turned out he was in jail. This place was fucking nuts, so this guy Jimmy went to jail, and so they sent me down there to figure out what was going on and try to like straighten the, like, right the ship. So I went down there, and you know, I was gonna have to fire a lot of people, so I couldn't like make friends or hang out with people, but I had to live there five days a week, like Monday through Friday, down in Cincinnati. I knew I couldn't like make friends with work, I didn't know anybody there, and so every day after work I would be like, well, fucking, now I need something to do, and I'm just alone down in Cincinnati.

0:05:02 Eli: Yeah.

0:05:18 Eli: No!

0:05:43 Thomas: Read all the T.S. Eliot apparently, huh?

0:05:43 Tom: Right and I would go to this Bruin View, and like only the two movie that was like playing that I wanted to see was Anchorman, and so I'd be like, well, I guess I'll sit and eat and watch Anchorman again. So I had nothing else, so that's the only movie I can think of that I've watched intentionally multiple times, so I'd be like, I got, I don't know, another evening, do nothing down here by myself in Cincinnati.

0:05:57 Thomas: Wow

0:06:05 Tom: I guess it's Anchorman again, so and then Anchorman was taken out of the theater and I was like, all right, now I got, and I literally have nothing to do I just yeah I actually had to kick the door down to that guy's office because he had locked the door, and like we needed files and shit out of that office so I got there and we're like well

0:06:05 Eli: Me and Anchorman. I quit my job.

0:06:06 Thomas: Yeah changed my life yeah Jesus the fucking stories that Tom has locked away in his brain.

0:06:24 Eli: Time I had to break into a man's office while he was in jail.

0:06:28 Tom: Dude, this place, like, I won't go, but like, this place was so crazy that like, if you just google the name of the company in Chicago Tribune, you can read about when they set their own building on fire to try to hide all the money they stole, it's fucking, it's it's bonkers it's an absolutely bonkers place, so all right, so Eli, you had a uh, you had a recent weekend getaway, little boys weekend

0:06:39 Eli: Ooh, good for them. Yeah, so I, I, yeah!

0:06:43 Thomas: Wow well the only thing worse than quoting every movie in the world I

0:06:50 Eli: Yeah, that's right! Is the auto ads, that's right, auto ads, they are the Brick Tamlin of our podcast

0:06:54 Tom: Yeah

0:07:00 Thomas: Believe auto ads is German for a whale's vagina, that's the least funny thing in the entire movie, it's so weird anyway pre

0:07:02 Eli: That's vagina yeah oh but it's so funny, it's all so funny, some of that movie, here's the thing, I now, as an adult who talks out loud on the internet for other human beings to hear, what because I love Anchorman so much, I have to do the Anchorman quote to myself first and re -examine whether it's problematic, and I would say 50% of the time it is.

0:07:27 Eli: Right, I'm just like, oh no, wow oh gosh, nope. Nope I didn't like that part, never mind backsies.

0:07:32 Tom: Ruh

0:07:25 Thomas: -screen it yeah like on the radio where you had like you're on a five second delay like you're you need that for your brain where it's like you can be five seconds ahead and then oh. Oh, crap, crap. Dump button. Oh,

0:07:40 Eli: Exactly I don't know if I mentioned this on air, but I watched 40 Year Old Virgin on a plane recently, and I was like, holy shit, how many times have I said I liked 40 Year Old Virgin, that's not, god, god, that, because that movie really doesn't hold up when, say that you want to know how I know you're gay is the most progressive scene in that movie, I no, uh, so I had a little buddy trip yeah the auto ads right, but if you want to avoid the auto, the auto adds are the problematic movies of your childhood you can avoid them over at patreon.com/dearolddads where you'll get a commercial-free version of every single episode as well Well, a little bonus going on as well. All of that over there. patreon.com/dearolddads. Tom is there sometimes.

0:07:54 Thomas: Man. Shit. Wow. The auto heads. Patreon .com. And

0:08:03 Tom: -roh

0:08:20 Thomas: A bonus recently released.

0:08:32 Tom: God,

0:08:33 Eli: I could hear him waiting for it. I could here him waiting for the axe to fall.

0:08:33 Tom: Damn it.

0:08:39 Eli: So I did a little bro trip this past weekend. Went to PAX East up in Boston with two of my dad friends, which I'm very excited for. I have a few dad friends now. And these are two of the guys and PAX, are all part of the same board game group because we fuck like that. And some people from the board game Group went to PAX Unplugged last year. And I sort of said, man, that sounded so fun. Like, guys, PAX is in Boston. And this was before we knew each other relatively well. Like we had just just started to become those kinds of dad friends where it's like our kids play with each other, but also like I will see you voluntarily. Right. As opposed to the, like, if children are not friends tomorrow, I will never see you again.

0:09:19 Thomas: What's like? I've never, I can't imagine such a relationship. That's incredible.

0:09:24 Eli: Right? Yeah. No, it's lovely. I greatly enjoyed it. And this was our first time being like, okay, do we like each other for a long time? It felt very couple -y. I'm not going to lie. It felt like first trip together. But we went to PAX East up in Boston. We got a hotel. And, yeah, it was amazing.

0:09:36 Thomas: Yeah. Wow.

0:09:37 Tom: Did guys go splitsies on rooms or are you on rooms?

0:09:45 Eli: We went splitsies on rooms. And it was a lot of fun. And can I say, like, I go on trips with my friends all the time, and I go splitsies on rooms with my friends all of the time. This is the first time I have gone on any of those things with someone who is, who I also consider to be an adult, right? Because my mentees are like my babies. So I'm like, well, here's the room and here's your charger. And in case anybody lost their bib, bib, I have a bit extra bib in my bag, but, like, both of these guys are significantly more competent than I am, so, like, it was amazing. Like, we drove in my buddy's Tesla, which fucking rules, I

0:09:48 Thomas: No.

0:10:11 Tom: Oh my god Oh,

0:10:22 Thomas: Oh,

0:10:22 Eli: Know he's a fascist and I don't want to give him any money, but he bought one before people knew, and it fucking rocks. It rocks, that space car. I don't care that it takes two button pushes to open the glove compartment, it fucking rocks it's got a frunk the doorknobs are done, but it does not matter. It fucking ruled, it was a great time, we were like chit-chatting and talking, and it was just, it, revelatory moment for me, one, because it was just fun, right?

I gotta play board games for a weekend, all day, every day, until midnight, which was super duper fun, but it was also revelatory for me in that, like, so, know if you guys felt this way, I actually think you might feel this way more. Before I had Max, I had my friends, and then I had Max, and much as my friends still love me, much as my friends still care about me, I have moved on to a different phase of life, and they don't always have time for that, right? If I want to see them, if I want to spend time with them, I sort of have to return to the life of a single

0:10:22 Thomas: Yeah. That Tesla's are great.

0:10:35 Thomas: Yeah, that's the stupidest thing about it. The dat and the doorknobs are so fucking dumb. Door handles, yeah, holy shit.

0:11:24 Eli: Person or a recently right exactly, I gotta go to a fuck hotel, right? I, if I can't, if I don't have time or energy or effort for fuck hotel stuff, it's not that they don't love me, it's not that I don't care about me or want me to be well, or even that they don't want to see me

0:11:24 Thomas: You got to go to a fuck hotel. Yeah, we know.

0:11:27 Tom: Yeah

0:11:37 Thomas: So So they got to fuck.

0:11:39 Eli: Right, they gotta fuck, they got their own

0:11:41 Tom: That hotel's not gonna fuck itself self oh

0:11:42 Eli: Exactly they got there own life transitions going on. Like something that I've talked about on air before is, like, I remember being young and someone talking to me about their kids and me being like, this is so boring, and now that I have kids, I'm like, I'm talking to you about my son's first words, and you're like, so that's when she said she wanted to break up again, and it's like, I was wrong, I was fucking wrong, I was boring, I was the one who was boring, right? My relationship was the thing that was boring, the growth of this, this child into a human being is the thing that's interesting. So there is a distance there with my old friends. And And so taking this first trip, doing this first thing where I'm like, hey, these are the people I choose to be my friends, felt so good, because that's who I feel like I will be friends with longer term. And as much as it

0:11:54 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You

0:12:06 Tom: Really okay

0:12:30 Eli: Sort of, yeah, as much of it sort breaks my heart to say that, because I dearly, dearly love my friends from when I was single, I see them going their own paths in life. And these people, the ones I just took the trip with, are people who I'm already on the path forward with, right? I see the future with them, they don't really like you that much

0:12:46 Tom: So I'm just gonna poke a little bit I like have you because like with with no no no what I mean is like with with too there there can be that kind of like new relationship energy thing right where it's like yeah these people are

0:13:00 Eli: Yes of course the

0:13:01 Thomas: Guys did just fuck. So, we heard you just, yeah, stayed in a, that is blowing my, are you saying you shared rooms?

0:13:03 Eli: Hot new thing is our first time in a hotel room together yeah heck

0:13:09 Thomas: Is that what that means? I would never do that in a million.

0:13:09 Eli: Yeah, heck yeah, shared beds shared

0:13:06 Tom: I never do that anymore you share you do not share beds

0:13:13 Thomas: No, no. Okay, this is, something weird's going on here. This is, this Is not.

0:13:18 Tom: No I would know

0:13:14 Eli: Beds, my friends, you wouldn't share a bed with Cecil with the C-man C

0:13:22 Thomas: What

0:13:21 Tom: Won't share a room with cecil anymore I would not share aroom anymore

0:13:23 Eli: -dog No.

0:13:23 Thomas: Would be the point to save $100? What would Be, you can hang out and then go to bed in your own bed.

0:13:27 Eli: You get to hang out with your bros, we we all it wasn't a money saving option, no

0:13:32 Thomas: That's what I'm so puzzled about, out what

0:13:26 Tom: Yeah

0:13:33 Eli: Why

0:13:34 Tom: Same don't you want some privacy at night what I don't

0:13:38 Eli: Maybe

0:13:40 Thomas: Is the, I don't even understand what's happening yeah you are I

0:13:42 Eli: I'm weird, okay, I will completely own that in the three bears situation here I'm

0:13:45 Thomas: Want to make very clear if you said you were fucking them, I'd be like, oh okay, yeah, no, that's fine, that's exactly

0:13:46 Eli: Okay

0:13:49 Tom: I I would understand that better too like I'd be like yeah okay you gotta have like yeah well

0:13:52 Thomas: No problem with that yeah, oh

0:13:54 Eli: I tell you guys why, this, you saying this is actually very helpful to me. For years I have thought that Noah and Heath don't like me that much because whenever we travel, we book separate hotel rooms that

0:14:05 Tom: I don'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE FIRST OF ALL BEFORE YOU FINISH YOUR SENTENCE YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT WRONG BUT BUT YEAH OKAY

0:14:11 Thomas: No I already love this so much oh I already loved this so much and they would have sleep in a bed with

0:14:12 Tom: YEAH WAIT

0:14:11 Eli: True that also but like, like, I remember the first time we did a live show, I was like, great. Yeah. So I, I Was like, I got a room. It's got Got a two beds. So we're good. And Noah and Heath were like, we want separate rooms. And I was genuine. Like I have carried with me this, like, do I smell like, why would you not share a bed with your bro?

0:14:30 Tom: WHAT LOOK OKAY CECIL AND I WERE BOTH MORE BROKE THAN WE ARE NOW WE WOULD TRAVEL TO CONS and stuff and we would get a hotel room and we would share the hotel room for sure we did that bunch of times when we had you expendable money right before we were making any money with the show we're footing all the bills on our own dime before patreon was a thing that kind of thing right but like no I like when Cecil and I went on a hunting trip a few years back and we each had our own we were like across the hall from each other in this lodge we hung out all day we had all of our our meals together. But then it was like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm going to call my wife and I'm gonna like have private conversation that is in a private space.

0:14:39 Eli: Right.

0:15:05 Eli: Obviously unimaginable.

0:15:11 Thomas: Yeah. Phone sex, he's talking about phone sex.

0:15:17 Eli: I don't understand it.

0:15:18 Thomas: Yeah.

0:15:18 Tom: Years, 46 years old. I get my own room. What?

0:15:18 Thomas: Yeah.

0:15:20 Eli: I cannot emphasize enough, this is not a money-saving situation. This is just

0:15:25 Thomas: No,

0:15:24 Tom: I know. That's why I'm like, what is happening right now?

0:15:25 Eli: No.

0:15:25 Thomas: I know that's why I brought it up as, like, a in order to, what, save a hundred dollars? That, that was, that's the, a joke. I know it's not a money saving thing. I don't understand what it is. That's the joke.

0:15:35 Eli: To lock in a friendship of solid gold. I, what I also need you guys to understand, I have now been road tripping with friends for 10 years and always been sharing rooms. So now I feel extra, like now I'm wondering my poor mentees who I take to Columbus, Ohio every year, have they been like secretly talking to their parents being like, he makes us stay in the hotel room that now I wait, now it feels weird.

0:15:56 Thomas: Yes I'm like actually worried about this now, okay.

0:16:00 Eli: The record, for those who are like aware of the expanded universe, Rachel always got her own room. I did understand That the genders were not allowed to mix, or maybe that makes it worse. Maybe that means that we're, I don't know, I don't know now.

0:15:55 Tom: Yes. Yes. Yes,

0:16:04 Thomas: Okay. I don't know. I think either way

0:16:12 Eli: I feel weird. I I do feel more liked by Noah and Heath though, cuz I always thought it was like a weird like

0:16:12 Thomas: You're getting canceled. I think it's over. Yeah. Yeah, that is the best thing I've ever heard in my life.

0:16:21 Eli: Why did but what do you got, you don't like lie there and talk to your buddy and like joke around, okay.

0:16:23 Thomas: I Don't know, man. I It

0:16:27 Tom: I got like I hang out all day. Look, here's the thing.

0:16:28 Eli: Can I say it's like a slumber party did you not have slumber parties?

0:16:30 Thomas: Sounds it sounds nice.

0:16:32 Eli: Sure.

0:16:32 Tom: And Is the part where I'm going to come across as the crazy person. Right. And I know this, but like when like Haley and I were dating, every night, we, when really started to get serious, we'd be on the phone, be on video call a lot. And then after a while, we just fall asleep on the same call.

And now we kind of have a thing where if I'm traveling for work or otherwise, when it's time to go to sleep, I call her before bed and then we talk and maybe we'll sync like up a TV show to watch together like we used to back when we were long distance, and then we fall asleep together on a video call and it's a way for us to have when we were dating it was a way to Feel Connected to each other. I know, it was away for us feel connected when we were apart. And it something that, like, I still enjoy very much. Like, hey, even if we're gonna be apart for other reasons, we're still not gonna like spend a night apart from one another if we don't. And I, would not, that would be weird for me to do hanging out with Seats, like, okay, dude, I'm gonna talk to

0:17:03 Thomas: Okay, well, that's also insane.

0:17:20 Thomas: Yeah?

0:17:20 Tom: My wife and like wind down and watch a show and then put a video called on while we're, we're hanging out. So like for me, there's a privacy that I like to have and a wind down that I like to have. That's like a private connection with myself and my wife, that's a big part of it too for me at this point.

0:17:27 Thomas: Yeah.

0:17:34 Tom: But it's also just like, yeah, I want to like walk out of the shower in the bathroom naked and like go put my clothes on and not make it weird. No, now you make it it weird.

0:17:34 Eli: I did that it's a great bit, no.

0:17:42 Tom: That makes it weird,

0:17:41 Thomas: Okay. Now I I don't, this is the new

0:17:43 Eli: Because then you can, you lady you don't French lady your buddy the bat fruit basket, you have, you never hit your bro with a fruit basket? I am so serious, everyone

0:17:46 Thomas: That's

0:17:56 Tom: This is why, this is why I reject these road trips with you all the time.

0:18:00 Eli: Should see Paris and hit their bro with a fruit basket. I of the greatest victories I've had in my life. I think about the great victories I have had in my life and one of them was a buddy trip where I was trying to French lady one friend and then another buddy.

0:18:18 Tom: I to Google what French lady in somebody is right now.

0:18:19 Eli: You know what it is, Tom. Look into your heart. Anyways, I was trying to french lady one friends and then another friend came out of the bathroom and got an accidental fruit basket and he screamed and so the friend who was trying trying not to look at the French lady turned around and then French lady simultaneously. It was a twofer. That was my John Wick. That was as good as my life. Get that was my Taken. It's like it, man, fighting all those guys for the bags of rice.

0:18:23 Tom: Oh my God.

0:18:48 Eli: It's my peak.

0:18:47 Tom: Oh my god

0:18:49 Thomas: The best thing I've ever heard in my life. Oh, oh, my God. Oh, that is so good. How do we, where do we go? That's this is a new show.

0:18:59 Tom: Don't even know, we've got to that's the show don't share hotel rooms with Eli

0:19:00 Thomas: Yeah. That's you know, I part. Part of me worries that we're all missing something. You know, do you? I don't know.

0:19:09 Tom: Maybe, I don't I

0:19:09 Eli: So are, you are once, you go boss, just saying, look, if we ever get a dear old dad's live show going.

0:19:12 Thomas: I've never been invited on a road trip. Never

0:19:14 Tom: Genuinely no judgment, like if you want to share rooms I will say that I've gone camping with buddies a bunch of times Obviously, you share a tent very often with that. I've traveled, like I said, with Cecil, and we didn't have money. I have had nothing but good times. It's always a good time, but I don't know. It feels like, to me, getting to a certain point in my life, it's like, well, now I call movers, and now I have my own hotel room. I'm just at a different place, too, where I value my privacy in a way that wasn't as important when I was a little younger, and I know, too. That I'm, know, you I'm 10 years older than you guys.

0:19:36 Eli: Sure. Yeah.

0:19:37 Thomas: Yep. I'm even worse than that because I always say that. Hey, we've got the guest room. If you come over, I'm like, I've got a guest room, but I'm not invited. I'm past guest rooms. I'm sorry. I don't t.

0:19:52 Tom: I am too.

0:19:52 Thomas: Unless Wayne or something. Like, I just want my own place to go to. That's what I want.

0:19:58 Tom: I visited a very, very, very good friend of mine. Like one of my closest friends, the best man in his wedding. I mean, I love the man. I, I visited him seven or eight years ago and Haley and I, they had an enormous home, you know, and they're like, "Oh, we got a guest room for you." They had a beautiful guest room, very comfortable. And afterwards I was like, that was wonderful. I appreciate their hospitality so deeply. I will 100% have a hotel next time just because like I don't want to be an overnight guest in someone else's house.

0:20:21 Eli: Yeah.

0:20:26 Thomas: Yeah.

0:20:26 Tom: Like I just prefer it and it's not because they weren't anything but wonderful hosts. They were the best hosts, they were unbelievably cordial and wonderful hosts, and I was just like, I would rather wake up in the Hyatt. Like, I just would. I will feel less like I'm imposing. Yeah.

0:20:26 Thomas: But it's sad, though. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you don't want to impose, yeah yeah,

0:20:40 Eli: But also, like, someone, because you never know which friend is an early riser and being finding at someone's house, and you wake up at the reasonable Christian hour of 9 a.m. And they're like, "I've been awake for three hours, friend." What do you do? And you're like, "Oh, so were you in some kind of prison scenario and you can't..." Why is that? I have kids now, so I wake up at 6:30 in the morning, but when people wake up at the Christian hour of 10, I'm not like, "Why weren't you awake with me at the crack of dawn?"

0:20:40 Tom: Yeah Oh.

0:20:44 Thomas: But it's

0:21:10 Tom: You should live my life. Like, Hayley and I, I like, if we're on vacation, we go to Haley's schedule, and Haley schedule is like, yeah, we're going to be up till four, maybe five in the morning every day. And then we will sleep until we wake up at 11, 11:30, whatever. So, like, it's like we run the Haley scheduled on vacation or trips. So yeah, a hundred percent, man. It's like if I'm a guest at someone else's house and I'm like staggering out of the room at, you 30 and they're like, "We had a whole day. We've already had an entire day." While you were asleep. Yeah, for real. I'm just like, yeah, I should have stayed at the Hyatt.

0:21:35 Eli: We went for a hike.

0:21:39 Thomas: Also sad because I now realize we're always, we also offer our guest room and I know Lydia would love if someone stayed in our guestroom, but then the other part of it is like well, gonna hear a screaming bantshee at 4am, like what, that's not, I'm always like, the couple times I'll be like, oh, nevermind, you,

0:21:50 Eli: Yeah, well,

0:21:53 Tom: And the kids, too.

0:21:53 Thomas: Oh. Yeah, oh.

0:21:55 Eli: Thomas has been witness to this, and Thomas has had to experience this. Our guest room is Max's room. So what we do is when people come stay with us, we give them our room, And then we and we sleep in his room and we sleep in the couch downstairs, but it means that we, we, every guest, by being like, "Go sleep in our bed, little mouse, little mouse time to nap in our bed," like, did this to poor sweet Thomas. He was luckily so exhausted from like the nine red eye flights he had taken from Europe that we could have been like, like, "Hey man, the crawl space is under the garage," and you would have been like, "Yeah, no problem."

0:22:02 Thomas: Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

0:22:06 Tom: Max sleeps outside.

0:22:23 Tom: Yeah.

0:22:28 Thomas: The flight yeah yep sure that

0:22:35 Eli: I got it right make

0:22:35 Tom: Done.

0:22:35 Thomas: Would have been less weird too would have been less weird. I, it also, in the same way that now you feel better because you thought, uh, and Noah hated you, which is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life, I now feel better about that whole experience, because yes, yes, I was so tired I could die, because every time we fly, I can't sleep on planes. So if we take flights through the night, I'm just dead and uncomfortable.

0:22:36 Tom: Sold. Love it.

0:22:56 Thomas: And so Eli, I come to Eli and he's like, come to our, but it wasn't in a seductive way. See, if it had been for sex, then I get it. This is the weird, this is the Weird Place I've been where it's like, exactly, exactly. It's, but like I expected it.

0:22:56 Tom: Oh, that sucks.

0:23:05 Eli: It's that we didn't fuck you, that was weird, we were, yeah.

0:23:12 Thomas: I didn't know if I should have expected it yet.

0:23:11 Tom: You just wake up disappointed. Like, well, should

0:23:14 Thomas: I shaved.

0:23:14 Tom: I have worn?

0:23:15 Thomas: No.

0:23:14 Eli: He was face down, ass up, napping the whole time for no reason hell

0:23:18 Thomas: Like, I can't hold this much longer.

0:23:19 Tom: So I'm curious, like your newfound dad buddies, which which, by the way, I think that is great. I have any friends of mine that I'm close with that have kids my that where the kids are all the same age. So, you know, I've got very good friends with a very young kid. They waited a lot longer. It's 29 when Finn was born so it's not gonna start at 15, but none, none of my friends had kids like right away, so I don't have a friend group that has kids really, I've never really had that, that point of connection.

0:23:19 Thomas: Yeah. Now I get it.

0:23:30 Thomas: Same.

0:23:48 Thomas: Same -sies.

0:23:48 Tom: So I am curious if the same thing holds true though, because with my guy friends that I've found is that when we hang out, we hang out with a purpose, so somebody calls and is like, like, hey, do you want to go do this thing? That is the only way we hang out now, is scheduling time around an activity. When we were all younger, and this may be a function of time, it may be function of age, it may function of maleness, I don't know.

But when we were younger, I feel like there was more just getting together and sharing the same space without an agenda, without an activity, and now as adults, I do not have any sense of whether or not like is normal, but we, I only hang out, again, like, like I'll use Cecil as an example because he's my oldest closest friend, Cecil and I don't just get together to get together, we literally haven't done that in 20 years, we get together around an activity and the activity might be like working on each other's house, it might be like going to do this thing or, you know, having dinner, but or cooking together, it's always scheduled around an activity. I

0:24:23 Eli: Yeah, you

0:24:53 Tom: Wonder if you have the same experience.

0:24:53 Eli: Gotta do it you gotta do it as soon as possible, you're just gonna be like, you, me, C-dog, we're gonna go to the, wait, wait, does restaurant count? Like, let's go eat.

0:25:02 Tom: Yeah, I think a restaurant counts as scheduling it around an activity because it's like reservations. We're going to drive to a place.

0:25:06 Eli: You just got to show up

0:25:07 Tom: I'll meet you somewhere.

0:25:07 Eli: At his house.

0:25:08 Thomas: Oh, God. That's an attack.

0:25:08 Eli: Just be like, Cecil, what are you doing Saturday?

0:25:11 Thomas: No.

0:25:11 Eli: And then he'll be like. I don't know. And you'll be, like, great.

0:25:11 Thomas: He'll be killed. Cecil probably has, like, a sword that he pulls out at his door.

0:25:15 Eli: Sure. A kill intruder sword.

0:25:17 Thomas: Yes. Yeah. I wouldn't do that.

0:25:18 Tom: Now, I don't think there's

0:25:19 Thomas: I wouldn't recommend that.

0:25:19 Tom: No surprising Cecil.

0:25:20 Thomas: No. You don't want to do that?

0:25:20 Tom: That seems unsafe.

0:25:20 Eli: Just. Yeah. Don't surprise him. But just be like great. I'm coming over. And then just hang out for seven hours. And see what happens.

0:25:21 Tom: That seems unsafe, but I don't know that I would appreciate it either, like, you. If somebody just showed up at my door, I don't know. That I'd be like, yeah, please come on in. Even somebody that like I really love, I'd be like, wait okay so

0:25:34 Eli: Not a surprise. Again, I'm not being clear. I'm talking about surprising. I'm saying you make the plan and then you go.

0:25:41 Thomas: Era is over, but it's over. We don't do that anymore. It's good.

0:25:43 Tom: Plans to do nothing

0:25:42 Eli: I make my co-hosts do it and we call it Matriarch, it's literally what I do I'm like you have to come, yeah sure

0:25:48 Thomas: Ha ha! I love Matrion. You know, I'm realizing, Eli, maybe you'll relate to me on this. I know, Tom, you just didn't, you never were a video game guy. No, I get it. I was a video game guy, I don't have so much time anymore, but I loved playing video games, and that was what me and my friends did in high school, that was the best thing that ever happened, and it I, actually kind of sucks that everything is online now, used you to be a need, whether it was the N64, whether it Was the first Xbox, you Know, God, that Was the fucking best, people are roughly my age and around my age will know what I'm talking about. The first Xbox, when you could grab like fucking eight of those things, even though I didn't have that many friends who had an Xbox, there's like two because I lived in the sticks, but you could sync them up, you know, you're LAN partying essentially.

0:25:57 Tom: Uh -huh, true

0:26:05 Eli: Mm -hmm yeah Halo.

0:26:32 Thomas: Yeah. Halo and shotguns, or the whatever everybody did, but like but That need, you, you had to do that to play with other people. Like, like you had to go hook up your fucking things together with multiple TVs. And it sucks. Like on one hand, it's amazing that anytime you can jump on a video game and play, you know, over the internet with anyone. On the other hand, I wish we still had some need to get together in that way. Cause it, like, it was a really nice thing. Like just like, all right, who's bringing what, you got that TV, okay, I got this TV, you got that, and like, you would set it all up, it would take way too fucking long to set up, by the time you set it up, you'd be able to play for like 20 minutes, and then someone had to go, and then that sucked, but still, like, what

0:26:32 Eli: Oh, of course, yeah, yeah.

0:27:00 Eli: Thomas.

0:27:14 Eli: You know what you're describing, you're

0:27:15 Thomas: Yeah

0:27:15 Eli: Describing board games, the hobby that is why I board game, and I will say, as someone who just went to a board game convention and spent the entire weekend, weekend, because you haven't been to PAX before, they have these like traffic cones that say LFG on them, and it's literally just, you want to play a game, you get it from their giant game library, you sit down, you put a cone up, and strangers walk over and are like, so we're playing this, and you do that, we spent all weekend doing that.

0:27:18 Thomas: Yeah oh

0:27:20 Tom: Really

0:27:42 Eli: I did not have a single bad experience, we actually had a really long conversation about it because we played a game of uh Blood on the Clock Tower, which is basically like super long and complicated werewolf, but we played it with like 20 people, and all 20 people in that interaction were all fucking blast, and the conversation ended up being about, is like, what weird alien world have we entered where I have not had a bad board game experience, and I really haven't, like, we, we obviously, Platinum Knights are board games when we do them over, it through um Awful Movies and stuff, and obviously playing over at uh and stuff, but like, I have not had a single board gaming experience where I've been like, oh, I'm stuck with a jerk and I hate it. Yeah.

0:27:42 Thomas: Man wow yeah yeah, that's amazing make

0:28:25 Tom: Really see, I, I used to make fun of my dad when I was a kid because he would get together with his friends and they would have trivial pursuit night, they would get together and they would play trivial, always the same game always trivial pursuit, they would always get together and they would play trivial pursuit, I remember as a young person being like, that's fucking that sounds so fucking lame. And now I look at that, as you're talking, and I'm like, yeah, I kind of get it. Like you kind of can't invite people over anymore.

0:28:35 Eli: Yeah bridge

0:28:30 Thomas: Sex tapes, yeah it's so fun yeah yeah people used to have bridge night you know all the old people yeah they used to play bridge, now I don't even fucking know what, what that is, like I, yeah, catch

0:28:51 Eli: Night yeah mahjong yes

0:28:50 Tom: Yeah. Wife can invite her best friend over with no agenda. Like her, my wife, can invite her best friend Lainey over to our house, and their agenda will be to be in the same room, being together they'll dude they'll hang out, just watch TV together, they'll hang out and they'll just watch, they'll bed and eat fucking popcorn and watch fucking TV

0:29:10 Eli: Yes Anna does this with our friends

0:29:08 Thomas: Up on reality TV, or gossip, or whatever Lydia's the same way, yeah yeah I want to make very clear, I meant that in a positive way, I didn't mean that in an like it's amazing I wish, yeah, yeah

0:29:18 Eli: Yeah no no do

0:29:21 Tom: Yeah no same same, and like, of one Haley's biggest, like, like, desires is to have that sort of casualness that is more like frequent, because our best friend now works a full -time job, so they can't get together as often as they used to, in this sort of just like agenda free way, and I totally get that, but I also feel like, like, looking back, I'm like, I don't, like, outside of my early teens or late teens I should say, I don't remember, like, once I got to college, we hung out to do stuff, we just did, and I don't know if that was just my experience or if that's like, like, a more male experience, but I, I, I can't imagine calling my closest friends, of which I have several and long relationships, and being like, hey man, just come over, what, like it'd be like well, what are we gonna do, I'd be like, I just fucking be together, just we're just gonna be together

0:30:03 Eli: It do it you

0:30:08 Thomas: I think it's, it might be a personality thing though

0:30:09 Eli: Should do do that to Cecil. I feel like it's worth the experiment to just do that to Cecil best case scenario. You hurt Cecil's feelings. Worst case scenario, we have more information.

0:30:18 Tom: Well I also feel like the activity dictates how long we're going to hang out, too. Like it kind of sets an expectation of like how long we're going to hang out. I remember the last time I got together.

0:30:24 Thomas: Yeah

0:30:24 Eli: Yeah. Am the worst example of this.

0:30:31 Tom: Why? What do you mean?

0:30:32 Eli: No, because I make poor Thomas fly across the country once a year. I'm like, Hey, we're doing a matrion. Come here. You have to fly, fly across several time zones.

0:30:38 Thomas: And then you go to bed at 8 p .m. and I'm like cool I got to see you for an hour That was, that was fun.

0:30:42 Eli: Right. But I'm wide awake at six.

0:30:45 Tom: That was worth a six hour flight is

0:30:46 Thomas: Yeah.

0:30:47 Eli: I'm, there at six, a .m Fresh.

0:30:47 Thomas: And I, you're wide awake at six, which is 3am for us and the time we're on. So it's, uh, yeah, I have more of a chance of meeting you on the other end of that. I really do. But yeah ,I think it's a personality thing because, and I don't know if it's introvert extrovert because yeah I had a friend briefly just out of college. He's still like, I made friends with him in college, but he was like a freshman. I was a senior. And And so I stayed where I was because I got a job around there. And so, I'd still hang out for maybe a year. I don't think it was more than a year, it could have been two, but we would hang out. Was And there a time when, you were watching like a show, you know, like, oh, every Sunday I'll come down. Ended up getting an apartment in the same complex that I was in, which is like, it's like weird, you know, because I just, again, I don't have that kind of personality that you're describing the like, Oh, let's hang out and for nothing personality. Personality, but he

0:30:53 Eli: As a daisy, ready?

0:30:55 Tom: It, Right.

0:31:38 Tom: Yeah,

0:31:38 Thomas: Would, call me sometimes or text me. He'd be like, Hey, come on over. I'm like, okay, what do we, for what? You know, it's like, you're talking about, you'd be Like, no, I don't know. Just come over. And I remember we actually kind of talked about it one time. Cause you know me, I'm pretty, pretty straightforward. I was like, yeah, I don't, I dunno. I don't really like, You like hanging out with? I'm too busy. I got too much. I want to do to come just hang out for no reason. And he was like, like oh, I'm the opposite. He just hated being alone, so he would just call and be like, "Come hang out." And I'm like, I don't, what is this, you know, like for me, I was like, I don't, it's kind of, yeah.

0:31:44 Tom: Right. Yeah.

0:32:11 Thomas: Yeah, and It wasn't he's not Eli. Like, if it was Eli, you know, I'd be like, yeah, any name, the time, name the place, let's share a bed. But like you know, it was a friend that I wasn't like super, you know, I wasn't super into him or it was just like, you know, we happened out of a couple things in common, so it was, it was one of those, those things where it's like, know, yeah, I don't get a ton out of this, but I didn't want to say that, you know? It's just like, I don't...

0:32:08 Eli: For What to whomst hell. Yeah, I do yeah.

0:32:22 Tom: Right.

0:32:32 Thomas: You it's weird. I think it's a... It might be an introvert -extrovert thing, maybe. I don't know.

0:32:30 Tom: Well, Well, Like one thing I know for sure, right, and like it's, it's pretty like certain, it's ironclad, is that having like real relationships, like deep, meaningful friendships and relationships, you can't read anything thing that says like that is not a key to like long -lasting happiness. Right. But like I struggle with that idea of like being able to pick up the phone, because like, Thomas, if I pick up the phone and I call like a friend and I'm like, hey, let's just get together, they're gonna be like, fucking, what, why, when, what?

0:32:50 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

0:33:01 Thomas: For what?

0:33:02 Tom: Are we doing like, there's, everybody is, I don't know if it's a function of life, like this place in our lives, but I feel like you have to have almost an excuse use to that reach out, right? You've got to be like, okay, I'm going to plan a thing.

0:33:02 Thomas: Yeah.

0:33:13 Thomas: I Tom, I would love to run this experiment. I would love to run an experiment where you are, like, banned from work for, like a week. Like, you can't... you're not allowed to do any work or... and your kids have have all gone on a European vacation without you and you have no, I wonder know, like, I, I wondering what your default would be then. Would it be like, cause I feel like a lot of this stuff for me feels like, Cause I'm introverted. It also feels like I'm just too fucking busy. Like I don't, I literally every minute of the day I have to be doing something. And if it's like, Hey, come shoot the shit. I'm like, I don't fucking have time for that. I'm sorry. I wish I did. But but also is it just that that we're the kind of people, or maybe I'm the kind of person that, like, that's going to be how I am all the time, because that's what, apparently like my personality would prefer to have that excuse or something, you know what I mean? I actually don't know

0:34:00 Tom: Yeah. Will tell you, I definitely do get lonely. I definitely do love to hang out with people. I would always prefer to be spending my time hanging out with somebody than being by myself. Not, I'm an introvert at all. I, so I'm very good at inventing ways to hangout with people and inventing like points of connection, but will absolutely do that. Like, I like, I've told you before, like my barber and I have become friends, like genuinely friends, and so, like, I want to hang out with him outside the barber shop, but I'll like, I'm, I've hung gone to his power lifting events because he's a power lifter and

0:34:28 Thomas: Is this the one that almost threw you a football and ruined your life? Oh, that is the best story And now you have to carry, like, luggage every time you go get a haircut.

0:34:31 Tom: Yes. Yes, terrified of him so I now I

0:34:37 Eli: Every Time, you see him, big

0:34:37 Tom: Bring in Yeah. I just I Just juggle, I walk in Juggling Oh, I'd love to catch that ball, but I'm Juggling these fire sticks, you know.

0:34:38 Thomas: Like full stack of pizzas us. Yeah. Why is Tom

0:34:40 Eli: Stack Of Plates. Yeah, Big stack, up. Oh, Not

0:34:44 Tom: It's obviously very dangerous. I got two ventriloquist dummies, one on each arm.

0:34:45 Thomas: Always bringing a bunch of props to the haircut Yeah,

0:34:51 Tom: It's, and they're both saying the same thing. Don't fucking throw Something To me.

0:34:53 Thomas: They need haircuts too. I don't know, show

0:34:58 Tom: Like, I, I just got a haircut this last week and we were talking and I'm like, god, we should hang out. And instead of just being like, hey, we should hang out, I'm like, hey, would you ever want to come over and like get a workout in together? Like, we have to invent something. Like, we have to like make playdates as like adult men. It's really funny.

0:35:09 Eli: Me, Tom, I'm gonna show up to your house, I'm just gonna show up to your house and I'm going to be there for an undetermined amount of time, but it's longer than 48 hours. So get ready, Tom.

0:35:13 Tom: No, you're not This makes me nervous. Holy shit.

0:35:22 Thomas: Why don't you come over to our house, you know, Lydia would love it? Do it, just come hang out, yeah, okay, probably for that reason.

0:35:22 Eli: Yeah. I would love to come to your house. We're never on the West coast. Yeah, what

0:35:31 Thomas: The message is like have friends? Okay, I'll try, I don't know, no, I'm super jealous.

0:35:35 Eli: I guess what we're saying here on Dear Old Dads is have some friends but yeah, no, it's really, it was really, really wonderful and and made me feel, you know, I don't know if you guys have had this feeling, but as much as I love being a dad, and I do not regret being a dad, But don't think I was prepared for how much of my old life was over when I had kids.

0:35:37 Thomas: Yeah, It's the friends you awkwardly slept with along the way

0:35:58 Eli: Like, I think the things that I identified as and the people I cared about and the stuff that was important to me is still important, and I still obviously care about those things, but I thought I would still at core be those things first, right? A comedian and a magician and a mentor and all the things that I considered myself before my son was born.

And what I have come to realize is that I am a dad first and foremost, uh, and Tom, I, I know this is something that you have talked about, people like worrying about because the leave and then they're like, oh no, I'm a dad first and foremost, yeah, shit, who do I be a dad to in this golf club bag, um, but like the thing that that's was really wonderful and uniting about this experience, aside from, and I will also add this as a side note, we're also three Jews and I don't hang out with other Jews that often, so it was really nice to like pass a restaurant and be like, oh, we could have Ethiopian food, and for us all to be like, oh no, are you kidding, not with this stomach, oh no, way too spicy, do you have an extra extra mild water, I don't want it as spicy as you usually, but other things

0:35:58 Tom: Oh, Really? Yeah.

0:37:07 Eli: Aside is like, I was there with two people for whom dadding is also that primacy, and we understood that we understood we were on a break from it, right? So we were all getting the same kind of break, um, we share a lot of values about like supporting our spouses, so it also felt in many ways because I

0:37:07 Thomas: Why,

0:37:13 Tom: Hmm. How?

0:37:26 Tom: Did you find these people what

0:37:26 Thomas: Don't you fucking marry him, why don't you just marry your friends? I guess Are you going to start a podcast? Why don't you start a podcast together with this fucking awesome, apparently great friends?

0:37:28 Tom: Is happening though? Like I

0:37:29 Eli: I Am marrying them. Them, Dear to me Old Dads, so

0:37:38 Tom: Not asking rhetorical, you keep cutting this fucking pie thinner and thinner and thinner to get to this like magic person, like where do you fucking find these people? I

0:37:46 Thomas: Yeah.

0:37:46 Eli: We got introduced at the the preschool, um, first two of us, and then me and Barack, um, started a board game night at the temple, and Jonathan, who's the other dad, he joined in, religion Hey, honestly, yeah.

0:37:58 Thomas: So So religion is the key. I see. Yeah. Yeah.

0:38:01 Tom: Gotta join a church, that's

0:38:03 Eli: Get in a church, why not? Hey, I've heard there are no downsides to being part of religion, organized religion, um, yeah, that that's how we met, and like, look, there's lots of dads, like we would hang hang out at lots of, you are lots of men I've been in contact with because of preschool events. And I am now in contact with a whole new group of preschool men. And it's, it's often very difficult because I'm like, so what's up, how are we doing, like, it's very hard to make those new dad friends.

Like, I remember early in the show, you guys talking about like standing away from the fire and me being like, that'll never be me. And here I am at my new preschool being like, so is there like a fire I can stand significantly far, but yeah, these, these we connected and, um, sort of have made these decisions to be larger parts of each other's lives, and we've double dated and and triple dated and that kind of stuff, and it has just been, um, I, I think think what I was trying to cleave to here is like, as as my life has changed, I feel like it has changed and there are people that I will get to share it with, because I don't know that I realized until this past weekend how lonely parenting had been

0:38:03 Tom: It.

0:38:04 Thomas: Apparently. God. At all. Yeah.

0:39:10 Tom: Yeah.

0:39:10 Eli: For me.

0:39:11 Tom: Man, it is crazy isolating. Like, and I were talking about this the other day, they were kind of like talking through, because we've had a very traditional setup, right, where like I work in the workforce, and she doesn't work in the workforce. I think there's an acknowledgement that is very real and needs to be done that parenting as a full -time job is incredibly isolating, but Also being the who works in the workforce... If you wake up, get dressed, get ready for work, go to work, are in a position where your work doesn't offer you opportunities for socializing or friendships, and that happens very often, I mean, I raise my hand, I'm not really allowed to socialize and make friends with people that I work with. It's inappropriate given the position that I hold. And then you come straight home after work to be like a good dad and a good husband.

And it's like, all right, well, when and how? And how is there going to be opportunities for new people to enter your life, to build friendships? And I actually talked, like, God, we wish we were religious. I wish that I could go to a church on a Sunday morning and have even an artificial sense of community because it's so hard to find even an opportunity to meet the people that you're describing. Is a weirdly isolating space.

I'm joking around about like not being able to hang out, but I'm also thinking like, yeah, I mean like if you have to schedule play dates in order to not be socially isolated, like, I'll just straight up schedule man play playdates, like that's fine, like I'm not, as I'm thinking this through together, I'm thinking like, yeah, it seemed kind of silly before, but now I'm just recognizing the straight up utility of being like, yeah, I just have to be purposefully social, right, it's not going to happen accidentally, I'll raise my hand and say like I know that from life experiences it doesn't happen easily accidentally, road

0:39:30 Thomas: Yeah.

0:40:53 Thomas: Sounds like we need a Dear Old Dads road trip, baby.

0:40:57 Eli: Yeah.

0:40:57 Tom: Trip away.

0:40:57 Eli: I think a Dear Old Dads road trip where you guys can stay in whatever configuration of hotel rooms you want

0:41:02 Thomas: I'm going to say I'm not. I'm saying.

0:41:02 Eli: Would be so fun but also if we could prevent, if we would get Tom to take time off work, we could see who he is when he isn't working, I'd be fascinated

0:41:04 Thomas: Yeah.

0:41:04 Tom: From you there there

0:41:11 Thomas: Well, and we have to make Haley like leave the country, you know, or something for like a little bit of time just to see that

0:41:15 Eli: Yes. I thought it was just so she can't kill me. I thought it was like my personal

0:41:19 Thomas: Too, yeah

0:41:20 Tom: No that's that's the that's the reason I was thinking too, yeah for

0:41:20 Thomas: Actually that's a good point that's a good point yep yep

0:41:20 Eli: Safety. Right. I can't get in the state. Double jeopardy.

0:41:23 Thomas: Yep no, both of those reasons yep, good

0:41:23 Tom: Sure yeah, yeah

0:41:33 Eli: Right, gentlemen, before we head out, I accidentally sprayed body spray in my mouth the other day. And now when I talk, I have this weird accent.

0:41:44 Tom: Oh, I like that one, actually all

0:41:47 Thomas: Times I

0:41:52 Clip: Want to meet sexy DILFs in your area? Email the dads at DearOldDads.com or, better yet, send us a message on Patreon. You can follow us on all social media by checking the links in the show notes. And if you need more podcasts in your life, you can find Tom on Cognitive Dissonance, Thomas on Serious Inquiries Only, and Eli on Godawful Movies and all the Puzzle in the Thunderstorm shows. Dear Old Dads is edited and produced by my favorite DILF, Tom Smith, who also wrote and recorded the intro music, which is used with his permission. This podcast is a production of Daddy Issues LLC. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.

0:42:31 Eli: Was face down ass up napping the whole time for no reason, hell I

0:42:36 Thomas: Don't you fucking marry him. Why don't you just marry your friends? I guess. Are you going to start a podcast? Why don't you start a podcast together with this fucking awesome, apparently great friends?

0:42:38 Eli: Am marrying them Never hit your bro with a fruit basket, I