DOD99: Hobby Shaming

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:29 Tom: Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's not ashamed, but maybe it should be. I'm Tom Curry, and I'm joined, as always, by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen.

0:00:38 Thomas: Feel like that's the Tom Curry motto. Actually, it's the household Yeah, maybe should be

0:00:41 Eli: It's not ashamed, but maybe, oh, let's translate that into Latin and put it on a crest for him, huh?

0:00:46 Thomas: Yeah,

0:00:50 Tom: Everyone's got a family seal, right? That's my family seal.

0:00:51 Thomas: I have a crest. Hey,

0:00:51 Eli: Right, exactly, yeah.

0:00:53 Tom: We're a proud people. We shouldn't be, but we're a of proud people, so you, you had had some things you wanted to talk about this episode with respect to, I think, uh, Disney adults again.

0:01:02 Eli: I did, I did. So I was inspired by last week's topic. Thank you again to the perverts who rose up. Once again, my sweet, sweet perverts. Weird that you're all the exact same people, but you know what? I fucking get it. All my sweet pervert who rose, rose up to tell Thomas what a bad friend he is for not attending a theme wedding in full theme regalia.

0:01:25 Eli: And I apologize to you for the fact that Thomas wrote a 473 page Facebook post about how if P equals Q, he isn't technically attending a wedding. Um, those of you who are still making your way through that, I salute you. But no, um, thought about this because Because one of the things that that topic also brought up for me last week, that am I the asshole about Disney adults, is that there's just a general hobby shaming zeitgeist in the world that And look, I'm not talking about obviously and I'm going to say this outright because it's so silly to have to point this out. Racism isn't a hobby. Right. Like, obviously, we're not

0:01:19 Thomas: Oh, That's fine. Yeah, I

0:02:08 Tom: Yeah,

0:02:08 Eli: Talking About those kind of things. I mean, it is technically a hobby for some people, but that's David Duke.

0:02:11 Thomas: Gonna say, clearly, you've never met fucking, uh, oh, I lost his name. Yeah, I was gonna say the uh, who's the White House advisor guy, the you've never met Steve.

0:02:15 Eli: Yeah.

0:02:18 Tom: Lifestyle is not a hobby, right. Steve,

0:02:20 Thomas: Uh, Steven, uh, fucking, oh, what's his name? You know, Steven, no, who's the one that's like prematurely balding, the What's whatever. Okay, cut it. Steven

0:02:26 Eli: Of them. 100% of them,

0:02:23 Tom: Bannon, Crowder, Crowder. Steven all right, so racism is not a, uh, that's

0:02:32 Eli: Right. Yeah. I'm not talking about those hobbies. I'm talking about things like Disney adults. There it is.

0:02:37 Thomas: Miller Miler

0:02:41 Tom: Oh, it was awesome.

0:02:41 Thomas: There it is, clearly

0:02:42 Eli: Nice. We found it.

0:02:43 Thomas: You've never met Stephen Miller. Okay, done. Cut it in, great joke. Fantastic

0:02:46 Eli: Don't, don't you dare cut any of this. Lydia, Lydia, I know you're listening to this right now. You keep all possible seconds.

0:02:50 Tom: That's great. All of it. All

0:02:54 Eli: I don't care if Thomas comes over to fight you for the controls of whatever weird 1992 sound thing he's made you learn. You kick him. You kick. You use the bottom of your palm and smash his nose into his brain. And you get us this audio. This is our Zabruder tape. Yeah, shaming that goes on. And I, you look, one of the things that we talk about here on this show is the nature that, like, there are things you're asked to fit into, and I think one of them is, like, men have hobbies. Right? Of things that I've really noticed is, like, Christmas gifts for men, those, those ads appearing now, and it shows how empty male existence is. Right? They're just like, for your whiskey glass, get a pair of slippers. Men, you could kill yourself anytime and no one would notice. Like, Like it's the fucking, and I think

0:02:54 Tom: Of its in here.

0:03:46 Tom: Yeah,

0:03:46 Eli: It's because, like, I really do think, I think everyone has a moment where they're called to weirdness, where, where the world, the Fae, open the cracks of the world and are like, hey man, do you want to paint Warhammer minis every night from 6 PM till midnight for the rest of your fucking life? And you do, but someone stands in front of that and is like, don't do it, you'll be weird. Weird. And I, I just wanted us to talk freely and from the heart about how it's okay to have a hobby, even if it's weird, right?

0:04:21 Thomas: Yeah,

0:04:21 Tom: Know, Sarah McNab, uh, Cecil's wife, has, know, she's been saying it for years. You know, the people will, I think there's like a rush to apologize for the nerdiness sometimes, or the like geekiness or the weirdness of certain hobbies, and Sarah's always been so good, she would, she always be like, hey, it's okay to like stuff. And she would just like it would stop you right in your tracks, you

0:04:38 Eli: Yep, it. But yeah, I think there is, like, a lot of not nerd gatekeeping, but just, like, the nature of enjoying things too much. Yeah. Yeah. So I completely agree with Sarah on that.

0:04:50 Tom: Let let me offer this because I have kind of conflicting feelings about this because I also find it like personally, like really off putting and like hollow and empty in a different way when somebody's whole personality is consumed by like it's like, well, like, tell me something about yourself. They can think about is like, these are the things I like. And Like, all right, yeah, but, like, who are you? Like, who the fuck are you, man?

0:05:08 Eli: Yeah. No, I'd like the first one. Tom, Let let me, me throw this at you. Nobody's anybody. I want to hear how many times you went to Disney in the last 21 days like

0:05:22 Tom: You know what I mean, though? It's like if all you are is like, well, I'm the guy that likes Marvel movies. That's who I am. I'm The Marvel Movie Guy. And also, you Bills. And just, like... Fucking, like… God damn, you're tedious. Like, I can't spend a minute with you. Like,

0:05:34 Eli: No, no, I love that. He let me hit you with this hot take. Let me hit you with this talking because I feel it. I do feel it, right? I'm three quarters of the way into an anxiety attack just from the handshake. I really get it. I do. But here's the thing, right, when someone consumes their life entirely with one or two things, they've done it. Least At they've given meaning to the meaningless, right. Right. Like for me, they have achieved the impossible, which is they stared into the void and Mickey looked back. You know what I'm saying? Like there's something so it's like you see that Facebook post that's like, I don't want small talk. Let's talk about stars in the universe. And I'm absolutely get the fuck away from me with that shit. I do not want to talk about Stars and the universe or deeper meaning. Meaning I thought about those once when I was eight and they gave me depression. Like we cannot think there's a beauty to a man or woman or person of non -gender, whatever it's a B or a baby or a dog or a Tyrannosaurus.

0:05:39 Tom: Okay.

0:05:59 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:06:41 Thomas: A horse. Yeah.

0:06:43 Eli: There's a Beauty to a thing completely and totally committing themselves to something and being happy. They're happy. They're in the void.

0:06:53 Tom: Me, yeah. Make sure I'm not, like, no shade, I'm not saying like they're bad people. I'm just saying, like, personally, I can't spend any time there, you know what I mean? Like, I just can't do it.

0:06:56 Eli: No, of course. Of course. Oh,

0:06:59 Thomas: All- right, Right. I'm gonna marry these two, takes you know, a constant criticism

0:07:04 Eli: It's a theme wedding, you better dress up. Sure.

0:07:08 Thomas: No, no, so, like, one of the things we always look at is, like, hey, I know I'm obsessed with this stuff because of where there's woke, but, like, the of the white Christian conservative side is they think they're about free speech, but really they just want everyone, everyone to agree with them all the time, you know? And that's kind of how I feel about this. Yeah, you do you, you, have some Disney, uh Mickey Mouse at your wedding. That's great for you. I'm still free to be like, yeah, but that's kinda dumb though. Like that does suck. I you know what I mean? Like you you can do free to do whatever hobby you want to do. Two, I'm not required to not think that's dumb, you know?

0:07:24 Eli: Yep. Yeah.

0:07:43 Tom: I want to ask a question, Eli, is your, in terms of, like, friendships or, like, dating, like, something like that, like, can you think of, like, like, regular non, like, racist shit, but, like, regular hobbies, you're, like, that hobby's a fucking deal breaker, because, like, I can think of a bunch, like I can think of more than not, because I just know, like all right, if somebody's into video games, for example, like a deal breaker for me, for like a romantic relationship, that's

0:07:53 Eli: A deal breaker, that's a deal, I was thinking of so much, I was like, people who like to get peed on. Well, let's see if they're not getting peed in front of me, and you're over there being, like, is that a Nintendo in your house, get the fuck out. Yeah.

0:08:13 Tom: Not a hobby, but I have lots of people in my life that I love that are like friends of mine that play video games, but they don't invite me over to play video games. And Right. They, cause they know, I just, I don't like them. So like, but like, I don't dislike them for it. I'm not saying like they're a bad person. I recognize like, cool, have your hobby. Enjoy it. No shade. Have a great hobby. I don'T expect you to want to do my hobbies, but I also think it's perfectly fine to be like, Hey, I DON'T want to go to the fucking hockey game with you. I'M NOT going to have a good time.

0:08:18 Thomas: Not now. Fuck you.

0:08:26 Eli: I was gonna say, oh.

0:08:38 Thomas: Yeah.

0:08:44 Tom: I

0:08:43 Eli: See. I'm, I'm all yes and I'm all about it. There's, it's that kind of hobby, if I can't get hurt, that's my big thing is like, if I can get physically, or if they're like, let's play hockey, I'm like, no, because I'm gonna do a split by accident and everyone's gonna be like, what is your dad, walk that way. So like, that's, that's my line. But if Thomas tomorrow was like, Eli, I don't know if you know this, but the San Diego Sharks, Sharks, did I get it?

0:09:07 Thomas: No.

0:09:07 Eli: Fuck.

0:09:09 Thomas: Close.

0:09:09 Eli: But the Shark Sharks They're Sharks, San Francisco Sharks, you

0:09:10 Thomas: I mean, you had two out of three words, actually. Still two out OF three words.

0:09:16 Tom: San Jose Sharks.

0:09:16 Eli: Know what, it's fine. It's

0:09:17 Thomas: San

0:09:17 Eli: The Sharks the Sharks, the fucking Sharks, whatever, if He was like there's a Sharks game at Madison Square Garden. Do you want to drive 30 minutes into the city, pay 90 for parking, and be surrounded by blackout drunks and cheer for teams that you, you could not tell apart at gunpoint. I'm in. I'm a thousand. I'm painting my body with a shark.

0:09:17 Thomas: Jose Sharks. San Jose. San Jose, yeah.

0:09:20 Tom: I Knew it was a San one, do actually I will say, just for the, I would, I would see any live sporting event. But it was like, hey, let's go to the bar and watch this, I'd be like, oh yeah. I don't, I don't, I very don't want to do that. Right, the one hand, I completely agree, I don't think we should shame people for their hobbies.

Think people can have whatever hobbies they want, but then I also feel this like weird, weird like person, I'm like, yeah, but like there's a lot of hobbies where I'm like, fuck, that is so not for me, it is so like aggressively sharply not for me, that I'm, and I'm just like, don't just be about one thing, like that's also weird to me, when people are like, their whole personality is just like, I'm a guy that, you know, I just want to wake up and go to work and mow my lawn and watch my, yeah, go fishing, that's who I am, I'm gonna, and I just like, good for you, like good, I, I love that for you, I do, I like Jen and, like no bullshit, I love that for you, but like on my end, I'm just like, neat, neat, neat, we will never talk again.

0:09:43 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:10:12 Eli: Fish.

0:10:27 Eli: Oh,

0:10:27 Tom: We never want to see you when

0:10:27 Thomas: Also, in my personal judgment, I also draw a distinction between levels of like active that it is. And I don't mean physically active. I mean, is your hobby that you mindlessly watch something and know the characters of something or, you know what I mean? Or is it, you can be obsessed with something and there's a little bit more like interactivity or mental participation in it, or you're, you're obsessed with a show or something, but there's also a lot of like interesting philosophy about the show or points being made or thought, you know, like there's more there than just like, I like Iron Man. He's cool. He flies around, you now, like,

0:10:30 Tom: When the things explode, I

0:11:03 Thomas: Yeah, like I, I draw a little bit of a distinction there. Like there, think I can, you can at least understand that for me, it has to be a little bit more active than just a passive, like, no, I like this thing because of the images make my brain do something. I don't know.

0:11:03 Tom: Get happy, and you're just like all right yeah well and and I, I feel similarly, I guess, and like thinking like to myself, I think the people I've liked the best in my life are, one of their things is collecting hobbies, you know, where they're just like, yeah, I used to be into this thing, and then I did that thing, and yeah, yeah, I do.

0:11:28 Thomas: So ADHD people. So you like ADHD people the most. That's interesting.

0:11:32 Tom: Wife is great for that. Like, she's like, she has done a million things in her life, and I find her fascinating as a result, because she's done a million things.

0:11:33 Thomas: Yeah. Oh, wow. Tom, we should get married. You and I, if it doesn't work out with Haley, I have done every hobby.

0:11:42 Tom: I got you, buddy.

0:11:43 Thomas: I have grabbed every hobby, become an expert in it and quit it. Just like forever, mm.

0:11:47 Eli: Look that.

0:11:48 Tom: I've kind of cycled through a number of different hobbies in my life too, and I think, like, that to me makes somebody, like, much much more interesting is like some diversity of experiences and stuff like that, where it's like, yeah, I want you to have a closet full of like karate geese and hockey uniforms and like all this shit you've done you know?

0:12:04 Eli: And a full -on furry suit. Yeah.

0:11:58 Thomas: -hmm. Yeah, jeez, Tom, Are you hitting on me? Like, is Tom hitting- Eli, is he anything like this? Is literally me.

0:12:09 Eli: Ooh. Thomas, if you feel uncomfortable in this workplace, you let me know right now.

0:12:13 Tom: There a little Tom and Thomas action.

0:12:13 Thomas: No I feel I feel very comfortable.

0:12:17 Eli: I will take Tom.

0:12:17 Thomas: I I can

0:12:18 Tom: Yeah, report it to Eli and HR.

0:12:19 Thomas: Open up my Yeah, I can opened up my closet and literally there's not karate, but literally MMA gear in a thing, Like, yeah, just- Are you seeing me right now? Can you see? Because that's gonna be real uncomfortable. This-

0:12:29 Eli: Yeah.

0:12:28 Tom: Right? But You know what I mean, like, isn't that a much more interesting- like, for me at least, that's a way more interesting person to get to know. You because I know, like, yeah, you're into this, but like, next week you'll be into something else, and I get to tag along with that, and you'll tag along on my thing, and you know, that to me is way more- more interesting.

0:12:36 Thomas: For me, preaching the choir, yeah. Tom, the answer is yes. I will- I will- yeah, you had me at hell yeah.

0:12:50 Eli: Answer is yes for sure now. Slight sidstep do you ever hear about someone's hobby and then you feel like you know everything about them? Because I have that all the time, right? Like, if someone is like, um, into golf, is great. Into- really easy one is like fishing, right? Someone wants to fish, you're like, so you're just like wildly unhappy, huh, and like, you just need to be out on a lake thinking nothing, huh? Like, you need absolute silence and then occasionally a dead animal, and

0:13:06 Tom: Into yeah, I got it, I know them.

0:13:22 Thomas: Well, And I've- I've never met this person, but what if they're actually into fucking it? Angling. Like, they're absolutely- they're actually like, no, if you want to catch a fucking big mouth bass, you got to go to this thing at this time. And they've got like, they're super into like, yeah, think there are some of those people. Mostly it's just like, I need to be away from my wife because I don't understand emotions or anything. I think that's more often what it is.

0:13:34 Eli: They're in the boots, yeah, no, they're just they just missed. I think they're aware that, like, life is one kind of experience and they didn't have it, and they are really upset about it, but like, don't even have the language of "upset about" or it, so they're just like, I think I'm just gonna be on a boat, and it'll be quiet, and if someone starts to talk, I'll go, "you're scaring the fish," and we'll just do that, and then I'll die, and I won't ever have, like, really deeply- and by the way, 100% support, because as someone who has deeply looked into the void and found nothing inside, it's- it's- it's not good out here. I would love a defense mechanism.

0:14:16 Thomas: It is funny. If you described fishing in slightly different terms, you could turn it from like a redneck dude who hates his wife to like a Zen experience, you know, like you just change a few words and it's like, wow, that person is really enlightened. They just love the silence of the breeze. And yeah,

0:14:17 Eli: Oh, sure.

0:14:17 Tom: Yeah, I've gone fishing so many times in my life, and I've had alternatingly like great experiences and miserable experiences, and most of it for me has been who I've been with. Like, I took my dad- I think I may have told this, but I took my dad on a fishing trip- no, it was awesome. We- when I finally became an adult and I had a little bit of money, and my dad had always wanted to go to Canada on a phishing trip and go catch a bunch of walleye, and I took him on this week-long phishing trip up in the middle of nowhere Canada. Stayed at this resort, had a guide, like, in the middle of just absolutely fucking nowhere. We saw bears every day, moose every day, we fished like, like crazy. I- I- I didn't even have a fishing pole, you- was awesome. Like, I had to buy all this stuff. I'm like, I dunno how to do any of this, but

0:14:44 Eli: And it was the worst.

0:15:12 Thomas: Just picture Tom just pretending to fish the whole time. Like literally no one knows he's just miming a fishing pole the entire time.

0:15:16 Tom: I totally got into it.

0:15:15 Eli: Yep. A hundred percent. Oh, Oh,

0:15:22 Tom: Like ahead of the trip, I totally gotten into it as like, okay, I'm going to do this trip and I'm going to go to me. And like, yeah, I got into, I figured out all this, I, you're supposed to have, I figured I'd tie all the different knots. I got it into it for a minute, you know? And then my dad got into this is kind of like this infectious thing. And we'd call each each other on the phone and be like, Hey, you know, you should buy this piece of gear before we go. And then we went and we had this like great time with this like amazing time. So I think there's something about getting lost in the minutia and the accoutrement and the like, know the you learning process of any hobby and doing it for me, especially with somebody is such a fucking joy. Like

0:15:25 Thomas: I love that oh that's the best that's

0:15:41 Eli: It's the best.

0:15:41 Thomas: Actually the best, yeah. Yeah.

0:15:57 Eli: Yeah.

0:15:57 Tom: It is such an absolute joy, but me it's so much about that bond or that connection. Like, cause I didn't give a shit that we were going fishing. If my dad his whole life had been like, I really want to go to the big bowling tournament in Akron, Ohio, I'd have been like that. I got the fucking, you master 3000 ball.

0:15:58 Thomas: For sure. Oh.

0:16:13 Eli: Bowlmaster 9 ,000.

0:16:14 Thomas: Man.

0:16:14 Eli: Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, you did.

0:16:14 Tom: Yeah. I'd been like I'm fucking in this, bro.

0:16:17 Thomas: There are people in my life and actually it's now I think about it because I'm kind of picky, it's most of my friends who, if they said I want to get into X thing, I would be so thrilled and would do it pretty much whatever it is. That's know how I got into playing hockey was was my brother, when like 22 or three, just called me. He was like, I was just at a, like my friend, he plays ice hockey at this place, you know, California, not known for hockey really. Northern, like, we could just do that. And I was yes. And then we literally, we went into the store, to the hockey store that actually unfortunately doesn't exist anymore, and we bought a full thing of hockey everything, which is like a thousand dollars, and we're just like we are now hockey players and

0:16:29 Eli: I do this.

0:17:02 Thomas: It's the been the best thing in my life since then

0:17:03 Eli: We are hockey now. Yeah.

0:17:04 Tom: Yeah, that literally how I ended up podcasting. I told you that story, like my, like Cecil one day was like, hey, we should do a podcast and yeah, if Cecel called me and said, hey, I want you to come over and like refinish my floors with me, like, because this has happened, I'd be like, yeah, great, what time, I'll be there, like, I just don't give a shit, like I'm happy to do it. So he's like, what, so we should be able to do this podcast, and I was like, I don't know what that is, but okay, and then one day he called, he said, we're recording tonight, go to the store and buy a microphone and I was like, okay, you don't

0:17:05 Thomas: Oh yeah be fair, that's how everyone starts a podcast, not much has changed I'm just kidding, every time we record Tom's like, I don't know what that is, but all right, sure yeah

0:17:36 Eli: Sure.

0:17:36 Tom: Know what it is, but all right, sure, yeah.

0:17:36 Thomas: Oh Yeah.

0:17:36 Eli: Yeah. Here we go.

0:17:38 Tom: That's exactly what we did too, Thomas, when I convinced Cecil two years ago to go deer hunting with me, which he did not want to go. He did not wanna go deer honey. He had no interest in deer hunting. But like Cecil's the same way. It's like, yeah, Cecil, you're gonna go deer hunt. He's like yeah, let's go. So we went to the store, we bought the guns, the gear, the boots. It's a lot of money, man. Like it's a lotta money. It's a lot more than hockey to like, be like, I don't own any of it to like I got to be able to sit outside for 10 hours and I got to buy the gun and I gotta buy the licenses and I gotta buy the boots and the shoes and the socks and the thermoses and the backpacks and all the fucking knives and shit.

0:17:57 Eli: Yeah. Gotta

0:18:00 Thomas: The Yeah. Yeah.

0:18:13 Tom: Yeah, it was fucking and then to hire the guide and have a place to go is fucking ridiculous.

0:18:11 Eli: Kill the guide Now

0:18:12 Thomas: And The And The Deer Corpse To bring to pretend like I killed one and The hockey

0:18:18 Tom: It was like when Cecil did he was the same way. It's like, yeah, man, that's something you want to do a hundred percent. Like I sit I out in the cold for four days. Let's Like do it and And let's have a great time doing it. And I think that like is the male experience that should be idealized around hobbies is to have like that it's built around. Like you said, Thomas, like you and your brother. It's what is this about? It's not about the hockey. It's about your brother, you know, it's a hundred percent about. Yeah. But like if he had suggested something else, you would have said yes. You know, right.

0:18:40 Thomas: But Yeah, yeah. Of Course Yeah.

0:18:39 Eli: I And Also The beauty in like, I think you can kind of like anything, right, is that if there's proper social pressure and it doesn't go against like physical or mental or emotional abilities, you can kinda get into anything, right?

0:18:45 Thomas: Yeah. I can

0:18:59 Eli: If If your brother had been like chess, you'd been like, yep, absolutely, I'm the a front and bras defense or whatever. It's just like, there's... there's something really beautiful to the flexibility of the mind, especially since we so often define ourselves by those things, but there's this crazy a moment where we get to choose them, right? And the catch-22 of that, of like, yeah, no, I guess you could say I'm a hunting guy, but there was a moment where that guy was like, I want to be a hunting guide, you know?

0:18:59 Thomas: Get into just about anything. Yeah.

0:19:26 Eli: I just think that's, I think that's really cool. I do this to my, my friends, uh, which I'm sure I've talked about, is a magic convention in Columbus, Ohio. And my younger friends, we would all go when they were like 17, 18 years old, right. In college, just out of college. And it's a hundred bucks to get there. And it was at this airport hotel that just fucking sucked, but it was 60 bucks a night. So who can say no? Um, and now it's like at a nicer hotel, it's pretty expensive to go there because the convention has grown and gotten nicer. But every year, these like five people in my life just understand it is non-negotiable that in the middle of January they will fly to Columbus, Ohio,

0:19:26 Thomas: Wait, you make other

0:20:04 Eli: And attend

0:20:05 Thomas: People go to that? Holy shit.

0:20:05 Eli: Oh, Only do I make, like, I demand it. We have one friend who went last year and was like, hey, that was terrible, and I was like, fuck yeah it was. And literally all single time I talk, we are just like, hey, you're coming right, you have to come. He's like, I told my wife how much I hate it, and is like, doesn't fucking matter, she's not real, I'm real, you have to come, January.

0:20:11 Tom: Yeah.

0:20:26 Eli: Get on a plane in January.

0:20:25 Thomas: I've never been asked. I would go.

0:20:27 Tom: Yeah.

0:20:27 Eli: Go to Ohio, and they do, they do, their like very successful full -time professionals who give up thousands and thousands of dollars worth of their employment and work and safety and comfort to come to Columbus, Ohio, because we do it, that's what we do in Januar, I...

0:20:27 Thomas: I'd do it.

0:20:44 Tom: Experience that like you're relaying, I think all of us are relaying here. It seems very atypical from a lot of the male relationships that I see that sort of like revolve around a hobby as the only way for them. Because what I'm seeing us all say is like, yeah, I don't really care what the thing is so much as I care who I'm doing this thing with.

So like Thomas, if you were like, Tom, you're in town, let's go to the Sharks game, I'd be like, I would be thrilled to go to the Shanks game, and before I went there I would look up shit about the goddamn hockey game, and I would know some stuff before I went here because I would want to make sure that I could talk to you, and maybe not at your level, but that I can talk to you on a level that's not, you, it's all about the defense, and try to bullshit my way through an hour, right?

I would try to do that so I could connect better with you, but see so much the opposite in so so many other like male relationships where it's like, hey, I don't like the thing that we're doing, not going, you know, like it's just

0:21:24 Eli: Saw

0:21:32 Tom: It's all about the

0:21:32 Eli: Not going to your theme wedding because I'm Thomas and I'm Hitler.

0:21:33 Tom: Right. Do you know what I mean, though? Like like it'S so much different.

0:21:40 Thomas: Be fair, if Eli one of you called me out and was like, hey, Thomas, I got a new hobby. It's going to everyone's themed weddings together. I'd be like, ah, all right. Yeah, that's fine. That's a different, that's different.

0:21:49 Eli: Yeah. I

0:21:46 Tom: Yes, that's my new hobby. That is my new new hobby. That's it.

0:21:50 Eli: Love

0:21:51 Thomas: But the funny Thing that, that I'm realizing now that is a embarrassingly high percentage of this for me and 0% for you both is the competitive aspect of it. Anything that's at all a competition, I can get into at any time. I love it. It's my favorite thing. And that doesn't seem to be much of what you're talking about.

0:22:09 Eli: Mean, look, if the competition's chill, I love it. I love the good competition. I, the only time I have ever been remotely interested in Magic the Gathering was watching you and Heath play at the American Atheist Convention last year, where I was just like, that's a fucking cool, I'm gonna buy all the fucking magic cards and then I'll do it, I'll win. How it's why I love board games is, like, once you love competitiveness but don't care about winning, board games are the best because they're like, sorry, it looks like you're the Scrunglemire now and you're like, oh, I should have never moved my hoof noof over to the Chatham City, otherwise I wouldn't be the Scronglemire, but it's like, it's the most fun form of play.

0:22:47 Thomas: Yeah.

0:22:47 Eli: Aggression.

0:22:47 Thomas: Yeah. Uh, also love the idea, there's a, there's a little minor element to what you said, Tom, that I love too, which is the male desire to have to like be informed on the thing because, like, I would have a fun time just like if the roles were reversed, I'd just be like, like, Tom, you are now during this game going to tell me everything about this sport. Like, don't, like, trying to pretend like I know anything when I don't. So I'd just be like, literally, what is any of this? And then now you're teaching me the entire time and I would love it.

0:22:48 Eli: Yes.

0:23:16 Tom: See, and I would, would be annoying to the person who's trying to enjoy the thing. So I would try to educate myself a little bit. I don't try to go overboard. I told you about when I, I, when learned poker for work in A day, right. Yeah. Yeah. So

0:23:20 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a great story. You won the like World Series of Poker.

0:23:30 Eli: You Via podcast Podcast.

0:23:32 Tom: Via Podcast On My way to Wisconsin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do try to like be like, all right, I don't want to look like a total fucking buffoon here, but I am very willing to admit, and I will do it first thing, I'll be like, I don't really know anything about this, but I did a little reading, it sounds Like sharks are Having a Good year You Know, so I don't try to bullshit, but I will try to be like, hey, I put a little effort in, you know, because I feel like that's polite to be like, like, I put a little effort in, you know, you invited me to this thing and the least I could do is spend, you know, half an hour on this shit or reading about the sharks, you know, or whatever.

0:23:34 Thomas: Yeah.

0:23:46 Thomas: Stayed in a holiday in an express last night. Yeah.

0:24:03 Thomas: Disney adults know, right? Right, is that the consensus, or a, no one Thank

0:24:06 Tom: Well, I also think it's okay to be like, yeah, that hobby sucks and it's for weirdos.

0:24:10 Thomas: You Yeah.

0:24:12 Eli: But you, because here's the question, right? Because I, here's

0:24:14 Tom: I wouldn't say it. I'm kidding.

0:24:15 Thomas: You can feel it

0:24:16 Eli: The Thing, I am a Disney adult in my heart, just not in practice, right? A lay Disney adult, like, I only go on Christmas, right? I want to go every week, but deep in my heart, I'm a devout Disney adult. Here's the thing, Tom. We could all go to Disney with our families. We

0:24:25 Thomas: Yeah, The other Yeah, I want to I

0:24:32 Tom: No, No, we couldn't because then I'd have to be there.

0:24:35 Thomas: Have been asking Eli to do this the whole time, and then

0:24:36 Eli: And then I'll be there, Tom, every time you're bored. I'll just run over to a costume character and be like, kiss me on the mouth, and then we'll be arrested, and that's a new adventure.

0:24:40 Tom: I'm so bored.

0:24:46 Thomas: Yeah. They'll throw you out right away, yeah.

0:24:48 Eli: There's no way it'll be boring. It You will not be bored or rich at any point. You will be poor.

0:24:56 Tom: Okay, fair, fair.

0:25:00 Thomas: I've Been trying to plan this trip for a year now. And And then every time Eli's like, "But what if it was a cruise?" And then I'm like, what? So that's your way of not going. That's

0:25:02 Tom: No,

0:25:05 Eli: I a boat because it's the only way not to avoid my anxiety, which is lateness. Right? So I know he

0:25:15 Thomas: No,

0:25:16 Tom: It's the worst thing.

0:25:16 Thomas: I'll find a way.

0:25:17 Tom: It's a cruise. He would disembark and then you'd be like, he's not going to make it back to the boat. I got to make sure he gets back tothe boat.

0:25:17 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:25:20 Eli: Would never make it back to the boat. Yeah,

0:25:22 Thomas: Yeah.

0:25:22 Eli: It needs to be a cruise that makes no stops.

0:25:23 Tom: You You would be terrified, You'd though. Be terrified. You'd put a fucking toddler leash on him the whole time.

0:25:24 Thomas: Yeah.

0:25:27 Eli: Yeah. No, he doesn't get to do any of the activities or shore leaves them.

0:25:29 Thomas: As As long as there's a place I get to go, that's not the place you want me to be at a time. I am able to be late for it. Like that's like logically, I think that's one of those mathematical proofs, you know, like one of the, there's the there's the fucking triangle the a squared plus b squared plus c squared yeah there's if the number of rooms is greater than one and time exists then I think Thomas can be late. I think that's the uh Pythagoras he proved it, yeah, back in the, yeah.

0:25:37 Eli: It's true. He'll find a way. Yeah. Right, 999 equals 1, and the Smiths will be late. It's fair. It's true, yeah.

0:25:58 Tom: Oh, God. But I actually do. I think it's perfectly fine to be like because I think there's this there's the in these sort of zeal, which is right minded to be more open minded and to be, you know, more fair about different people and different experiences and different hobbies. I also think it'S entirely fair to be like, yeah, it'S not for me. I don't have to pretend that I like that just because I want to seem open minded. And you decide inside, you're like, but I'm not open minded about that. That's not fun for me, that's That's a horror to me. I don't want to do that. I do not want to be in Disney World. It sounds like the worst.

0:26:21 Thomas: Yeah.

0:26:33 Eli: I But I love the fact that you're in a horror top. Think about how fun it would be for me, for you to be on It's a Small World after all.

0:26:39 Tom: Yeah.

0:26:39 Thomas: Let Eli, enjoy something. Come. Come on, let him enjoy your psychological torment. I I

0:26:43 Tom: Oh, God.

0:26:43 Eli: Come on! Be on It's a Small World! Pay genuinely $6,000 to $8,000 and then be on It's a Small World. That's all I want, Tom. I just want to watch you on It's a Small World, which is significantly longer than you think it is, it's so much longer than you remember, they make it through that song two times and you're like, it yeah, not going to make it to It's a Small World, you're, you're going to be like, oh, okay, they must go through the song three times, they sure fucking don't. And by the end of it you're like, honestly, I think it's the cure for racism.

I think if you put David Duke on It's Small World and you were like, you can't make it off the run until you're not racist, he would be like, black lives matter, just stop making the song. I as well, we're talking about it's a small world, it's, it's a small girl, just has Jews, it doesn't have Israelis or Israel, it has Jew's, not other religions, by the way, there's not like, here's some sikhs, here's Muslims, here some Jews, there's just a corner you turn and there's a couple of Jews, they're being like, hello, it's us, uh,

0:27:01 Thomas: Yeah. And it repeats a lot. Yeah.

0:27:05 Tom: Goddamn.

0:27:23 Thomas: Oh, God.

0:27:48 Tom: Wait a minute, so I've

0:27:49 Eli: Yeah

0:27:49 Tom: It's a small world, I haven't been on it since I was like five, so I remember nothing about it, you go country to country, is that the deal, and

0:27:56 Eli: But But there's

0:27:56 Thomas: It's like a model UN

0:27:56 Tom: Then you get to the Jews that are not Israel how do you know they're the Jews are they like in a bank or something, what do you, what's the is it Gringotts or what, I

0:27:56 Eli: No, yeah, they're not in any, yeah. Literally they're, they've got like a menorah and they've got beards.

0:28:04 Thomas: In there. OK, were heavily involved in Disney, am I, am I crazy, like, I feel like this isn't no

0:28:10 Eli: No, there's a whole, it's actually counterfactual, but there's like, Disney was an anti-Semite thing.

0:28:11 Thomas: Oh shit, okay sorry, I didn't know that oh

0:28:17 Tom: Heard that yeah I

0:28:17 Eli: Yeah. No, Jews are Looney Tunes. We all went over to Looney Toons because Disney was, uh, not a fan.

0:28:22 Tom: Can't

0:28:21 Thomas: Gotcha yeah, that's right that's probably what I was thinking of, to be honest, because I don't really keep them separated that much, all the Disney adults just murder me I forget what

0:28:28 Eli: What? Tom and Tom, Tom is insulted on behalf of the Looney Tunes fans, it is definitely the, I don't think it's, again, I don't, I said this last week, I don't think it's a competition, I think that one is like for kids, one is blankets, and one is jerking off, I said this last weekend I don't need to

0:28:35 Tom: I the Looney Tunes, because that is the quality product between the two it's better

0:28:47 Thomas: Is for kids yeah no, one of those, those cartoons is for kids for sure, I

0:28:48 Eli: Oh there's no, you watch a Looney Tune, that's for adults, for adults yeah

0:28:56 Tom: Yes yeah, toons is dark, not

0:28:54 Thomas: I about information you know against your will, um, that Looney Tunes, Disney, whatever that thing is, I now know fucking DC versus Marvel, and I can't even believe, now, yeah, I'm 40, years after every single other other human being on earth, but because they so consistently, one makes the worst movies ever made, and the other makes movies that are kind of okay, it's like I now know, like I can just, if kids were like, oh yeah, why isn't Batman on Disney Plus, and I was like, well that's DC, and I'm like, oh, what have I become, no oh

0:29:15 Tom: Everyone, Thomas well

0:29:31 Eli: Now you know, now you, now, yeah

0:29:33 Tom: Know, speaking of of hobbies, like what about when your kids get into hobbies, we talked about this before, but Amon, I love him. I love him to death, guys. I do. He is the best. But he is into stuff. And he's into stuff all the time because he's nine. And then it changes, except for Sonic never changes.

0:29:37 Thomas: Yeah

0:29:49 Tom: But what he's into now is the Spider-Man movies. And I'm a good dad, right? I don't want to watch Spider -Men movies. I don't. I don't.

0:29:49 Thomas: Which which ones all of them or

0:29:56 Eli: The into the universe ones, those are so good, and

0:29:57 Thomas: Yeah

0:29:58 Tom: But the Across the Spiderverse one together. That was acceptable. We watched Into the Spider -Verse And that was fine, I guess

0:30:04 Eli: You didn't like that, those

0:29:58 Thomas: Those are great, amazing yep incredible it's literally the one of the best pieces of art I don't even like comic books, the art in that is mind-blowing, I can't even every frame is a work of art, I can't even believe it so

0:30:11 Eli: Are like the best movies Tom

0:30:18 Tom: It was fine

0:30:21 Eli: Did you fall asleep you have to be honest, this is like being a cop, Spider

0:30:22 Tom: I did not, I did Not. Here's the thing, guys, I made it through, and I felt very good about myself because I watched Into the Spider-Verse and Across the Spider-Verse and I was like, okay alright, I wouldn't have watched it without him, never watch it again but it's fine, like it was fine, they seemed like They were okay, you know They had some moments that were kind of funny, they were totally fine, there's a fucking Spider-Man movie which he made me watch last weekend, so he gets to pick the movie every Sunday, like I get up early before the rest of the house is awake, he and I sit and we watch a movie, or we read, or we do something, it's just me and him, and there is a fucking Spider-Man movie that is goddamn near three hours long, it is, I'm still watching it I that's what it is I've never stopped, everybody is watching it, there's no, once

0:30:36 Thomas: Good okay spider pig's the worst part I don't like it fucking

0:30:37 Eli: Pig Nick cage you

0:30:59 Thomas: Which which one is

0:31:00 Eli: Saw far from Home, right, so

0:31:09 Tom: You you start it I don't know, man I spaced out while it was on, because I halfway

0:31:10 Thomas: It, what happens in it again is it the musical I don't know, I'm asking Eli, I'm not asking you, Tom far

0:31:17 Tom: Eli, what's the name of this movie do you know the name of the movie

0:31:19 Eli: There's far from whom no way home uh, is the one where he magically summoned William Defoe, it's

0:31:20 Thomas: From home I can't which they're

0:31:20 Tom: No No Way Home, Spider-Man No Way home I

0:31:26 Thomas: They're too similar I can't, my brain cannot tell the difference between those but

0:31:30 Tom: Know it was No Way because I was making fun of the title with him

0:31:32 Thomas: What's the plot difference, Eli, what's, get, what's, the, oh

0:31:34 Eli: Spider-Man No Way Home is when he magically summons Willem Dafoe, yeah and then the other Spider-Man come in, but here's the thing that you need to understand about our sweet sweet friend Tom, when Tobey Maguire stepped through that portal, he had no fucking idea what was going on like he got introduced to an uncle he'd never met and the guy started to try to kiss him on the mouth I can absolutely understand I

0:31:53 Tom: No. That's exactly like and

0:31:39 Thomas: I like those ones, yeah, yeah he doesn't have those nostalgic references, yep yep Tom had no brain activity, yeah oh man, so good yeah yeah yeah the uncle had a tearful reunion, like, oh, family, and Tom's like, I don't know this person yep

0:32:06 Eli: Don't know this man

0:32:06 Tom: Yes that's exact yes, yes yes and

0:32:07 Eli: Yeah

0:32:07 Thomas: Yep oh God, I love that movie, and the credits started like the yeah the

0:32:10 Tom: Watched that movie for an hour and a a half, and I was like, the fuck is happening, this movie's still on, so then I, yeah, I paused the movie, and I see that I'm like halfway through this movie, and I am like itching inside, I am, it's like my entire lungs were full of asbestos, I, and Amen is just enjoy, oh

0:32:19 Thomas: Opening credits yeah without the nostalgia, that movie isn't very good, I'll be honest with you with the nostalgia it's great

0:32:30 Tom: Oh

0:32:30 Eli: Because that that movie is literally, literally references and callbacks the movie, so for people like me who first saw the first Spider-Man in 2002, you know we're all recovering from the twin towers falling, I when Tobey steps through that portal, I'm like, look at you, Tobey, you did it, you beat your gambling habit, and Tom was just like, is that the guy from Cider House rules what the fuck's happening man, these kids these days really love Cider House Rules, huh, yeah, y'all really into Cider House Rules, I thought it was okay, that was okay, I didn't think you deserved the

0:32:32 Thomas: Yeah yep yep oh

0:32:37 Tom: What

0:32:45 Thomas: Yeah, I saw the shit out of those things, yep lost it yeah from the Lord of the Rings, yeah

0:32:55 Tom: I thought

0:33:14 Thomas: Oh

0:33:14 Eli: Oscar nod, Amen, did you think you deserve the Oscars, not, because I'm just, I'm now like going through that, the memories of that movie, and absolutely everything in it is like a reference, like when

0:33:22 Thomas: God, so good, yeah it's only nostalgia, but it's, for me it was nostalgia that I actually appreciated, like even though it's pure bald monopolizing on your nostalgia, it was worth it because it was clever, and good, yeah oh

0:33:37 Eli: Good right but again, I'm, I'm just picturing Tom is sitting there with his son, and he's like, I'm supporting him. And then he's, like, look, it's Alfred Molina, who I probably recognize from Fiddler the on Roof or or Chocolat. Does he have robot arms? And no one, no one explains that movie, right? I know they do, like a yada yada ayada-ing, but there's no fucking shot Tom had any idea who anyone was when they appeared, oh

0:33:54 Tom: No I didn't know you were even supposed to, I was just like, this fucking thing is nonsensical. It's a thousand years long and like I was, and and we finished that movie and he goes, dad, man, would you rate that movie out of 10? And I see how happy he is. I see how fucking happy Eamon is. And I'm like, buddy, I got to give that a fucking nine and a half, you know, like big fives, you Know, and he's like, I give it a 10. That's the best movie I ever saw. And I am like, hell yeah. And inside, I am Like, never make me watch this again.

0:34:06 Thomas: Yeah no for sure the

0:34:09 Eli: God nine and a half fuck yeah is

0:34:28 Thomas: Does he like it, he

0:34:29 Tom: Never, ever.

0:34:29 Thomas: Wasn't alive for those movies, yeah

0:34:31 Tom: Because he is a nine -year -old. Is about nine - year -olds is every movie they saw right now is the best movie they ever saw, like, we go to the movie theater, it does not matter what we see, it would make no difference we could watch fucking like, any movie you could watch, the Casablanca, you'd walk out, I think, best movie I ever saw, like, buddy, you didn't know what it was, you have no idea what you're talking about, it

0:34:33 Thomas: No I know, every comic book movie is a 10 yeah yeah for sure for sure I

0:34:36 Eli: The best movie they've ever seen, yeah Tomifer Tom I need, I need now, I need now for you to tell me what your emotions were when, when award-winning actor Willem Dafoe appeared on your screen who

0:34:58 Tom: Was very confusing why he was in that movie

0:35:01 Eli: You almost certainly know from Antichrist

0:35:04 Tom: I have seen Antichrist, and that is a deeply fucked movie, by the way

0:35:06 Eli: And you were like, hey, do you like Antichrist too amen, is that what it is, it's that she's been abusing the son, you get it right, that that's what it's about, it's not about it, it's, it's about losing our child to ourselves, that would have given, truly, like, I talk about time travel stuff all the time, I would go back and watch Tom see Willem Defoe appear on that, that screen for the first time, and then I would go back and kill baby Hitler, in that order, and if I didn't have time to kill Hitler, it would still be a worthwhile trip for me, oh yes

0:35:11 Thomas: Stupid

0:35:38 Tom: But a dad, I'll do it as a dad, I've

0:35:42 Eli: All right, gentlemen, when the coolest doctor in the hospital's away, who does he get to cover him? The hip replacement guy. Updates?

0:35:56 Tom: Got

0:35:58 Thomas: Oh

0:36:04 Clip: Want to meet sexy DILFs in your area? Email the dads at DearOldDads.com or, better yet, send us a message on Patreon. You can follow us on all social media by checking the links in the show notes. And if you need more podcasts in your life, you can find Tom on Cognitive Dissonance, Thomas on Serious Inquiries Only, and Eli on Godawful Movies and all the Puzzle in the Thunderstorm shows. Dear Old Dads is edited and produced by my favorite DILF, Tom Smith, who also wrote and recorded the intro music, which is used with his permission. This podcast is a production of Daddy Issues LLC. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.

0:36:43 Eli: I wouldn't be the Scronglemire, but Cage, you