DOD61: Prenups!

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:28 Tom: To Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's all about the fine print. I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen.

0:00:36 Eli: Death do us part, Tom. Till death do us parts. I

0:00:40 Tom: Oh, that makes me curious. When you guys got married, did you guys write your own vows? Because we're going to talk about prenups, and prenups are kind of like, hey, I'm going to make promises and I don't intend to keep them, sort of document. So I'm curious, like, so I've, I'm curious when you guys got married if you wrote your own vows or if you used like a standard set of vows. Well,

0:00:56 Thomas: What?

0:01:08 Eli: Oh God, can you, okay, does anybody use a standard set of vows? I mean, I know the religious ones have them, right? I get it, if you do the ceremony they have the weird cult one that's like, and I own the vagina between your legs, and It will ne'er go athwart into the sheep fields of

0:01:22 Thomas: Yep.

0:01:22 Tom: Okay. Did You, you were at my wedding. You wrote down my vows, Eli? You just write down the vows I wrote? That's weird.

0:01:32 Thomas: My Catholic sister, you have some old fuck priest, you don't even know who, in the middle of the ceremony talks about how, like, and of course the man, uh, owns the fucking house and goes into this like fucking patriarchal bit in the middle of your wedding. I don't know if she was into it or not, but that literally happened at my, my older sister's wedding. And it was a priest, they didn't even know, because it was a, like, and I never heard from them if they were cool with that, apparently they were, but like, fuck off. Yeah.

0:01:57 Eli: Every wedding, every wedding where they don't have their friend Steve do it, where they're like Like, yeah, no, her mom's really, really... Every time that guy's like, just a quick thought about trans people and you're like, shit! Goddamn!

0:02:01 Thomas: Yeah. You should have your friend Steve do it. I know it's, that doesn't turn out great either, but at least it's bad for different reasons. You know, like, having the random priest do it, Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah.

0:02:17 Eli: Yeah!

0:02:21 Tom: I What Hayley and I did, and it's actually, because 'cause I haven't answered your question, like, I did use for my, my first wedding, I did use just the standard vows. And in fact, and this might come as a surprise given how much, but I think it's actually very telling in retrospect, given how much I write, I write constantly, like, right. I am always writing something. I'm always Thinking I'm going to like enter into this, this, there, there was no way, if I look back, there was no way to think I was entering into something that really mattered to me as much as it should have the first time if I didn't write mine. It didn't even occur to me to write my own vows for my first wedding.

0:02:37 Thomas: Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

0:02:56 Thomas: You Put more work into the intros for this show, apparently. Those Do you At least write like four seconds before the thing?

0:03:00 Eli: Yeah!

0:03:00 Tom: Yeah, 100%. It's so funny how much time I spent writing my vows for my marriage to Haley. I spent a huge amount of time writing my vows and really thinking about what promises were important, that I think I can make and keep, and like, really kind of mulling over that idea of like, what a vow or a promise means to me, and all that stuff. And but like, that's because this was this thing that like, obviously mattered to me at this like really deep deep level. And for my first marriage, I was like, ah, show up and say something, I'll repeat it back to you. Like whatever.

0:03:34 Thomas: Yeah. Does Anyone have like a fortune cookie that says something that's relevant? Well, I'll just use that.

0:03:38 Tom: Like I even know what I promised. I know I broke it, but I don't even know what I promised.

0:03:44 Eli: High five! Give paw. Other paw.

0:03:44 Thomas: I'm just gonna say, I don't want to, people to get the impression that that means like you cheated on your ex or something. You just mean, you just stopped with the marriage, right?

0:03:51 Tom: I mean I left her. So like that's breaking like I'm sure somewhere embedded in there was not like, one day you'll have a duffel bag in your car and a 15 minute conversation called, this is over. So I don't think that was I don't think that was embedded in the, in the original.

0:03:58 Thomas: Yeah. No, I I just want to make sure that's What,

0:03:58 Eli: Yeah, there was no...

0:04:09 Eli: Okay. It's good.

0:04:07 Thomas: But if they did have that, kudos to whoever, you know, like that.

0:04:14 Tom: Yeah.

0:04:15 Eli: That priest that rando really was on point. Tom doesn't live at his house anymore now.

0:04:15 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:04:15 Tom: Right That's exactly how it was. That's, they're not even wrong, it's exactly how it wasn't.

0:04:25 Eli: Tom may I call out your vows to Hailey? Because you can sit there saying oh, I worked so hard on my vows. But little little did we, the attendees, know that they were full of lies. That's, that's right.

0:04:25 Tom: Yeah. I thought I did. Oh.

0:04:39 Eli: Lies. Prepare for accusations. So yeah, get ready for the controversial episode of Dear Old Dads. So during Tom's vows, one of his promises was that their tea game would always be on point. And from this, from this I concluded that Haley greatly enjoys Tea. Tea for the first three years after they were wed, I got Hayley tea related gifts until year three when Tom was like, "we actually have tea at the house, we don't need you to keep buying Hayley stuff so I

0:04:43 Tom: Okay, all right, oh. Yeah. It that is true yes That's true

0:04:49 Thomas: The first one. Oh yeah.

0:05:01 Thomas: Oh, I remember. Yeah.

0:05:18 Thomas: Oh,

0:05:18 Eli: Got inappropriate guests for three years in a row because of the lies built into your vows. It's

0:05:20 Tom: Well, If My tea game is not on point, then your tea gifts would, would be useful, Eli, but if my tea game is on point, I have all the tea stuff that I need

0:05:27 Thomas: Fair. He makes a good point. Yeah.

0:05:32 Eli: True, I should have just tried to have and hold her, I, that was my original idea, is that I was just gonna have and old Hayley, but you know what I felt, thought, thought about the tea thing secondly.

0:05:43 Thomas: I didn't know. Sorry, Tom. I didn't know each of us at your wedding was supposed to pick a vow of yours to do for you. Was that something? Was that? Sorry. Was that in the program or something that I missed? I

0:05:52 Tom: See

0:05:52 Eli: I In all seriousness, I did write my vows. Um, here's the thing, and I don't think Anna would feel bad for me to say this, of the two of us, I'm the better writer, right? She's a beautiful musician, an incredible artist in her own right, but like, when it comes to the, the written word, we were all pretty sure that I was gonna, you know, knock it out of the park and like Anna was gonna thank

0:06:15 Thomas: I too saw my wedding ceremony as an opportunity to crush my wife in competition, healthy, healthy starty like we also did an arm wrestle up there like, and I was like, fuck, I'm just killing it, man.

0:06:20 Eli: You thank you Thomas Oh See, that, that

0:06:26 Thomas: I'm killing it

0:06:20 Tom: Explains

0:06:26 Eli: I would have gotten destroyed

0:06:27 Tom: The American Gladiator style, uh, pugilistic thing at the at the end of it Thomas

0:06:28 Thomas: Yep.

0:06:30 Eli: Oh she with the Q -tips she would have destroyed me, man, who had gone from the best day to the worst day of my life, but so we were like, hey, you'll go first and I'll go second because that's nice, right, you always and hey, if you're getting married out there, or you're not married yet, you know, which one of you is the better speaker, don't make the bad speaker go second, that's mean, so we were like, Anna, you're gonna go first, I'm gonna go second, surprise, Anna had written a secret song about me and you're cheating, right? It's absolutely cheating, and she, fucking, her mom, Mom comes up with a electric ukulele and she plays this beautiful ballad she's written to me. So my vows, if you watch my wedding video, are 94%. That's not fair. You cheated at the vows contest.

0:06:42 Thomas: Yep. Yep. 100. A hundred percent.

0:07:01 Tom: Oh, that's sneaky. That's unfair.

0:07:24 Eli: Truly. It's just me doing meta commentary on our vows and how hers were by definition better than mine. And then at the end, I'm like, oh, and I guess I love you or something. Peace out. I forgot my whole thing. I memorized the whole thing, I was like, I, well I guess

0:07:24 Tom: So that's so

0:07:36 Thomas: Oh, wow.

0:07:40 Tom: You didn't know what each other's vows were going to be ahead of time, you didn't exchange they were surprise vows, okay, that's different than what Hayley and I did, okay.

0:07:43 Eli: It was a surprise, yeah

0:07:45 Thomas: Oh same, same. If you can imagine, you know, again, you guys know me by now and my, my focus issues, I did, I tried so hard. I did actually make notes. I made notes, but I knew I was like, well, I already, somehow I already knew like a long time ago.

0:08:04 Thomas: I already, I sort of prepped some notes, some bullet points. It was like a podcast for me. Like I prepped some stuff, but like I knew I wanted to tell people there. We had a small, small wedding, but I still, I wanted tell, my thing is I wanted telling people there how Lydia and I met actually. I wanted the tell the story because we, for whatever reason, nobody really knew the story but us.

Like we hadn't told anybody in detail about the whole OkCupid thing and about the me going down there and seeing her show. Like there's a lot to it. That's actually really kind of funny. And I was like, okay, this is going to be good. Cause I know this story is funny. I know that I love the shit out of Lydia and it's going to be fun to tell it to people. It just was fun. I was like, I want to tell people how stupid this was.

Like I, it was honestly, I joked a lot about like how desperate I must've seemed. Like, I find this girl on a dating app. She didn't live close to me. Like I, I lived in a shit town, uh, or not, not a town. It was a city, but it was, it was where I lived after college, was, um, on Forbes list of like 25 worst cities to live in Stockton, California, like forever. It was like number

0:09:08 Eli: Thomas Thomas, can I interrupt you for a moment, so the, the joke I was gonna do was wouldn't it be, if Thompson got distracted and sort of got pulled to the left or the right during his vows, and then you, in telling us the story, of the story told us that the town you lived in was actually on the Forbes top 25 least blessed place I I, I feel like I know where this is going, Thomas, I have a hunch, I

0:09:09 Thomas: One. Yes, of course. Yeah, it's relevant. I swear. Well, where, where it's going is I did the OKCupid and didn't find a single match anywhere near me. That was anything that Was anything. I was like, oh my God, this sucks. So I widened that search field a little bit. I'm not going to tell this whole story, I promise. I widen that search fields a little bit, and the funny part of the story to me that I wanted to tell everybody was, was how kind of it was kind of fucking, you know, when you were dating, you gentlemen, as a man, when you're dating, the things you might do to try to like, you know, go on a date with a girl that you're into, you do, you do some things, you know, you show up at her, for example, at her musical that was 90 miles away from you as, that's a normal thing, like, "Yeah, no, I'll check that out." You know, I think I was gonna going to go to that musical anyway, in San Jose.

0:09:41 Eli: Was actually driving an hour and a half in that direction anyways, you got a gas station out there that I love

0:10:20 Thomas: Yeah. In, in nice clothes, ready to see how to succeed in business without really trying. I was like, oh, I should definitely go do that. No, but you're, but I was just like, Oh yeah, cool. No. Totally normal thing. And as I'm driving, I'm like ,Oh, I'm insane. I'm an insane person. She's going to be like, why would this guy come to this? That makes no sense. So anyway, it was a lot of stuff like that. Like the story is fun. And I just told the story and I completely forgot about, um, we were supposed to do some vows. Yeah.

0:10:50 Thomas: No, I was, I was just, I was honestly, um, if you want the truth, you could have guessed it, I was just sobbing the whole time, like I was just telling the story trying not to sob because I just it just when I tell the story of how Lydia and I got Together I just cannot get over how lucky I feel about it and I just start crying so I won't do that but were supposed to do some vows at the end of all that and I totally forgot

0:10:50 Eli: Lydia you

0:11:11 Tom: Your vows were just a story I promise to always tell you stories this is great

0:11:12 Eli: You forgot your vows I

0:11:14 Thomas: Completely forgot totally forgot yep yep and we had talked a little bit about vows together, and so a few of my ideas made it to her vows, and I, I think that is close enough.

0:11:30 Eli: Love the idea of Thomas being like, anyways, so as you can see from the census data on this list of 57 cities, this is right here at 56, and then he throws the paper on the ground and turns to Lydia in perfect silence, and she's just nodding her head, waiting, waiting for having to hold. And she's like, all right, then I guess I will go now. And Thomas is like, yeah, you go now, and she's like, okay, here I go, because you're done. Mm-hmm, yep, totally done. Go ahead.

0:12:00 Eli: Three, two, one, go. Hey, Lydia, you're taking, you know, you're going a little long. Can I tell you that? You're going to love if you could speed up start playing her off. You grab the quartets violin, start playing her off

0:12:01 Tom: So

0:12:01 Thomas: Pretty much. I started flashing a light at her like. But my main value, value that I've mentioned before that I cared about was us always being on the same team. And that means a lot. Literally, that does mean a lot of things to me, and we talked about it, and I believe either I said it, because that was the one I remembered, or she said it one way or the other. That was my most important vow, and fuck it. I'm good at that vow, damn it, and if I ever mess up, then I recognize it, and we talk about it and I say I'm sorry, and same goes for Lydia. We're always on the same team,

0:12:32 Eli: Smart.

0:12:34 Tom: So, Real quick, I wanted to just, just laugh a little bit because, um, you were mentioning like, you know, how like you're better writer and you do a lot more writing. You thought like you were gonna crush the writing part. I, I thought the same, like, to be honest, I was like, yeah, I'm like, I'm a pretty good writer, I do the occasional bit of pen to paper, and I will say, like, Hayley's vows, vows absolutely fucking crushed my vows, like when she sent me her vows, because we exchanged them ahead of time, so it's sort of like, make sure that they were approximately the same length, that they were kind of like thematically gonna be similar-ish.

You, I sent her mine, and I was so pleased with them. I was like, yeah, these are like, I'm, you know, I spent a lot of time on them, like basically, like as soon as I knew that I was going to propose to her, I'd already started thinking about what That proposal meant in terms of those promises. So like I molded over for months. I like wrote these vows. They sent them. I was like, all right, like these are fucking rock solid. And like, I got hers and I'm like, that's way better.

0:13:12 Eli: Mart.

0:13:25 Thomas: Right?

0:13:37 Tom: That's just better. I Was like, That's Just Better. Yeah, That'S Good.

0:13:37 Thomas: So we'll go with yours then? Yeah.

0:13:36 Eli: We'll Go with yours. You just Read hers. You go first, but you read hers to. Get Ahead of Her, just

0:13:43 Tom: Yeah.

0:13:44 Thomas: Yeah, and then you steal it, And then it's like, oh, go ahead, hon. Your turn. And then what's she going to do?

0:13:49 Eli: Making Up Yeah.

0:13:50 Thomas: Call you out?

0:13:49 Tom: Well, and I did go for it. And I, I did go first, and I almost, like, I remember like I was trying not to cry and she had warned me ahead of time. She's like, if you cry, I'm gonna cry, and I'm wearing a lot more makeup than you, so you better not cry. And I was like, fuck, fuck, all right. So I had to actually give myself, I'm like, my first words when I went to give my vows was like, please hold. And I just held my hand up So I could like get a hold of myself for a second. So, and

0:14:10 Thomas: Yeah. Well, good news. I cried enough for several weddings, so that'll count for yours. We'll just say that.

0:14:19 Tom: Speaking if of crying, is it time for the auto ads?

0:14:22 Eli: Yeah. Oh, There's a promise we've broken to you, listener, and that's the promise of decent content, a podcast that you can listen to and just enjoy because this is a free medium in a world filled with commercialism. Just kidding, here's A bunch of automatically inserted ads by robots. Oh,

0:14:22 Thomas: Ooh, yeah, mm -hMm. Boy, they'd be so much better if they were written by robots. Unfortunately, the human touch on these auto ads is the part that sucks.

0:14:46 Eli: If They are written By robots Is Truly the problem. Yeah,

0:14:51 Thomas: Yeah. What

0:14:51 Eli: But In the future, chat gpt will just insert an ad specifically for you, but until that day, you can skip those ads by signing up to be a patron over at Patrion, patreon.com/dearolddads. All last week, Thomas did a lovely little bonus story. Not about his kids. No, about Lydia. And how proud he is of something she did recently. And I boo her song choice. So, you know, there's a lot of fun there. Can you check it out at patreon.com/dearolddads

0:15:21 Tom: We, we promised we'd talk about promises, so we should probably talk about breaking them, which is we wanted to talk a little bit in this episode. I'm curious where you guys land, and it's funny because when we talk, talk about these episodes, guys, in advance, we'll talk about the topic, but we don't usually talk about, um, or really ever talk about what our positions are ahead of time, so I want to talk about prenups and kind of what your, I want you to get what your thoughts are on prenups, whether you have one, whether you would do one, um, Whether They, what Are Your thoughts On Them I'm Curious, I'm very, very curious where you guys land on the prenup question.

0:15:49 Thomas: All right three bears situation are we fucking are we three bearsing it all

0:15:51 Eli: This I Feel Very sure where everyone lands. Can I Can I Take A guess?

0:16:01 Thomas: Right go ahead call it call your shot.

0:15:58 Tom: Oh, Do you want to do predictions?

0:16:04 Eli: Yes, I, here's what I would like to say, uh, thinks that I don't know, maybe they're right for some people, but he doesn't think they're necessary. He and Lydia don't have one. Like, if they break up, they break, whatever happens happens. You would have to torture a prenup out, out of Tom after 30 Days in Abu Ghraib because he Can't, says

0:16:20 Tom: Predictions And

0:16:23 Thomas: No, I think it would be, hold on. I want to mend your guess a little bit. It would be, he has a rule that the minute someone even, his partner brings up a prenup, he's, he leaves, he's gone. Yeah. He disappears.

0:16:31 Eli: The word, yeah, if you say the word

0:16:35 Thomas: Like he's been vaporized up. What's the Star Trek thing where they take you out? He's been beamed out. Like it just goes and he just, he just disappears.

0:16:37 Eli: Horse, beamed, yeah he's been beamed away, yeah. He just stops existing, yeah so that's Tom's position and I think they're a good idea because they are.

0:16:42 Thomas: Yeah, yeah. And Eli definitely has one.

0:16:47 Tom: You think they're a good idea.

0:16:48 Thomas: Eli 100 % has one, yeah. That's about where I would guess too, except I'm I don't know I think I'm actually more the Tom and I think Tom will be the me I would switch yours but that's I guess I have secret knowledge there because I know me you're

0:16:48 Tom: Okay. Yeah.

0:17:00 Tom: I I've I'm not a hundred So I would never ask my spouse to sign a prenup, even, and I will say, when Hayley and I got married, I had a, I had an excellent income, I did not have a lot of assets, so to be blunt, I didn't have a lot of assets to protect. But right now, I didn't have any debt either. I was just kind of, you know, just kind when you get divorced, you hit the big hard reset financially. So there's not a lot time to build up an asset base again. But, you Yeah.

0:17:17 Thomas: Hoping She steals all your debt. Yeah.

0:17:29 Eli: You know what prevents that Tom?

0:17:30 Thomas: Geez.

0:17:32 Tom: Well, you know, and it's funny because one of the things that I mean, a prenup is just a contract. You can be anything can go in it. Right. So it can be about more than just assets. It can be be about all kinds of distributions. It can be about forward payments for things like alimony or maintenance, things along those lines. So like prenups are a lot more than just asset distribution. Of that said, I never would have gotten married if I thought there was any chance that a prenup would be a benefit to me. But I will say that if I had married somebody with money, right, so like if I had, if I had gotten, and she wanted a prenup, I would have happily signed it. Happily signed a prenup

0:17:49 Thomas: Yeah. Exactly. Right. Like like you marry like the Planters Peanuts heiress or something and you're like, all right, I get it, yeah I'm not gonna take all your peanut money, can I have some of the peanut money though, can I get a peanut allowance, like just a few, you know, a few cans a week, or no, okay.

0:18:26 Eli: Mistake

0:18:14 Tom: Yeah. Well there was you know, there was there was somebody trying to set me up at one point I do remember there was a co-worker or an attorney friend of mine who at one point when I was single was talking to me about setting me up with this woman who was, she was fairly wealthy. She was also an attorney, but she came from family money and all this. I didn't like her, so I didn't actually take the date. But I do remember thinking like, oh, yeah, well, that would be an interesting flip -flop because I've always been the provider. I've never actually had anybody who would have had the ability to provide for me or significantly.

0:18:42 Thomas: I'm

0:18:44 Eli: How would You earn your rest.

0:18:57 Tom: I' ve never had that experience. But I, I do remember thinking like I would sign, like if, if something went somewhere with somebody with like real assets, in a, in a second I would assign a prenup without really any worry, but I would never in a million years ask someone else to sign one.

0:18:58 Eli: Exactly. Oh.

0:19:13 Thomas: Just now I'm imagining Tom is the stay-at-home husband and the tiles everywhere just start tiling it, like tiles so that the space collapses into where he has to the hallway you have to crawl, yeah like Like, I've

0:19:15 Tom: Oh I would be fucking awesome

0:19:18 Eli: Absolutely. The sheets are tiled

0:19:24 Tom: Would I would do an excellent job if Hayley wants to win the lottery or something, I'm more than willing to, uh, to become a captain man, that'd be great.

0:19:30 Thomas: Yeah, for sure. Same. Position on prenups is Tom and his first wife should have gotten one. That's

0:19:40 Eli: Yeah, yep, and here's the thing, like when you say I wouldn't get a prenup and get married, what, what you're saying is I am incapable of making this mistake, which is just not true. You

0:19:55 Tom: Well Eli I, I think that 23-year-old me didn't know what 37-year-old me know, right, and I hope, I hope that you know, because my second marriage, I, you know, I obviously, like that, that one I had the benefit of having already, already been married at one point in my life for 15 years, so I came at that with far, far, far more experience and understanding of like what marriage is functionally and and as a lived experience for me personally. I think that you, your first marriage, like you, what you know about is what you've experienced or seen, and you haven't experienced it until you've have actually become married. So I did feel much more confident literally in every single possible way, not just with my partner, with Haley getting the second time, but also just I knew myself better because I knew myself as a full adult. And I think when I got married the first time at 23, I didn't know myself as full adult because you're not an adult at 23, you're still kid. So there's a huge difference for me there.

0:20:57 Eli: Like how when you get in a car crash and you get your car back, you're like, OK, now I will never crash my car. I know myself as a driver.

0:21:04 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah. And then Eli literally does the thing where he looks back, but pushes the gas and it goes forward and smashes the like he's driving off the lot where they fixed his car. He's like, yep, never again.

0:21:14 Tom: You I know you're kidding Eli, but I will say as an analogy, it's kind of funny how much that works because you crash a lot more when you're under 25 than when you're over 25.

0:21:17 Eli: Never again.

0:21:26 Thomas: Yeah, yeah.

0:21:27 Eli: That's true.

0:21:28 Tom: It's a, it is actually a pretty good analogy.

0:21:28 Eli: That's truth. True and college, Yeah, oh,

0:21:32 Thomas: Just in case people don't know or remember, this is also Haley's second marriage as well. So you guys both bring that experience to the table. I imagine that's a much different kind of dynamic when you're both like, all right, we know what this is. We, you know, like, oh

0:21:37 Tom: Yes. Yeah.

0:21:45 Eli: Do You know what percentage of his monster energy hat collection she won, or was it, did she just, did she get to pick two or three favorites, what was of his tattoo sleeves did she get to take her pick of, she just moves in and she's got those spinny things that go on the outside of car wheels. I'm sorry, Ty, I don't have a lot of furniture to bring them, but you want it, if you want I can put that, I got these in the divorce.

0:21:53 Thomas: Man, that's a good burn.

0:22:14 Thomas: It's all I want in the divorce and I'm not giving it up. Sorry. We got to keep these.

0:22:16 Tom: That's mine, yeah, it's it it goes In the trophy room, we put this in the trophy room, little victories, but No, you're right, like, because Hayley, Hayley had the same benefit, we had really open and frank conversations, like, very, very aggressively open and frank conversations about, "Hey, this is some shit that, like, I know I need and want in my life, and this is some other stuff that I know from experience, experience, absolutely doesn't work."

0:22:17 Eli: Donovan I got Donovan too, yep.

0:22:24 Thomas: Oh boy.

0:22:41 Thomas: Me ask you this, Tom. Actually, I don't know if I've ever asked you this, or you've said it, did you have any feeling with Hayley, like, early on that you, like, or not with Haylee, did you have any feelings after your first marriage that you're like, all right, I'm not getting married again, like, whatever, fuck that, well yeah, did you, was there a moment, or like, how soon were you with Hayley where you're, okay, fuck, all right, fine, let's do the marriage, we'll try the marriage thing again, or was it like right away, yeah

0:22:43 Tom: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it So I had, when I first got divorced, I thought, I had, I thought long and hard about whether or not I would ever actually get married again, because for me, you know, there was a lot of downside to getting divorced, like, getting divorced was great in that I got out of a relationship that I was desperate to get out of, right, so I was very willing to pay whatever the price was for that, but financially the price was devastating to, to get out of that marriage.

And it took a lot of years to recover financially from that, from, and so I thought, you know, like, well, all right, you know, I'm not like, I'm good. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm comfortable being single. I'm comfortable dating. I'm like, I, I don't really need anything. I, I'm, I'm pretty good.

So in order for me to get married again, the bar is very, very, very emotionally, it's very, very high, right, so somebody has to really kind of blow me away, um, it feels like anything less than like genuinely, if it feel like anything other than life-changing, then I was like, in my mind, I was, yeah, I wouldn't marry somebody again, like, would I date someone long term, sure, would I maybe even live with someone else, sure, but would I actually, like, walk down the aisle, I never really thought I would do it again. And I'm

0:24:18 Tom: Going to marry this woman. And the people I dated before, I Was 100% like, there's no way I would really want to marry this person. But will tell you that by the second time I met her in person, I was already writing in sort of some of my private personal writings that I felt an insane urge to propose to, I was like, I'm gonna marry this woman, I 100% knew it, and she actually, funny enough, felt the same way, she thought she was never gonna get married, she actually didn't think she'd ever have a long-term relationship again, and then by the time we met in New York, um, our second meeting in person, she had already told her friend, I'm going to marry this man, so we knew separately and together and around the same time, she actually a little before me, um, that we would in fact be, be getting married, so yeah, for both of us it had to be like life-alteringly dramatic, yeah.

0:24:18 Thomas: Yeah right Right.

0:24:20 Eli: Would

0:24:33 Thomas: Your prenup. No.

0:25:09 Thomas: Yeah, I was just remembering. I thought I talked about this before, but I'm realizing when I talked about it, I talked to my mom. I talked with my mom about the Tucker Carlson thing on Serious Inquiries Only, and part of that story is fucking Rupert Murdoch. Not to get into it, but part of the story is he broke it off with his fiance for his, I don't know, fourth marriage, third marriage, and he's like 92. And I remember just thinking about that, like, what, why, what are you doing? Would you guys be that guy? Like if you're the rich fucking billionaire ruining the world and you've been married two, three times at 92 or whatever it is, are you really like, yeah, okay, let's give this a go. Let's do this. Let'S do this one more time. You know what I mean? Like, yes, Tom would absolutely do that.

0:25:50 Tom: Yeah,

0:25:48 Eli: Tom, Do that absolutely Tom, Tom's fucking rolling over there in his wheelchair, I love you like the sun sets over the morrow winds of prom, German

0:25:57 Tom: I

0:25:59 Thomas: Cause I, and I said on the episode, I'm not really kidding. Like I'm not getting married again. I really, I mean, I could always, you know, Tom, do what you did, I suppose, if I were to get divorced or something. But like, for me, and maybe it's, I don't know if this is old fashioned or not, or if it's the opposite of old fashioned. For me, a lot of marriage is the family aspect. And I've got a family. I love my family. I'm not going to be separated from my family ever. And even if, you knows, God forbid, somehow Lydia and I, something happened, I'd be like, all right, I did my marriage and my family and now I'm good. I don't know. What are you getting married again for? I don't know. Especially if you're 92. What are you getting married at 92 for? So weird.

0:26:37 Tom: Will tell you a story that I think is, is kind of adorable though, that's the opposite of that, my grandfather, and this is a little bit different, but my grandfather, father, was madly in love with his wife Natalie, so Bill and Natalie, you know, very, very much loved her, they had, from everything I could see on the outside, and I didn't know them very well, but when I did see them, they seemed very, very close, right, and that was all I'd ever heard from family stories, and she passed before he passed, and got remarried in his mid-80s, and I remember him saying, like, hey, life's too short, like, I love that woman to death, and she's gone, and like, I'm still here, and I, and and so I don't know, I actually thought that was kind of a beautiful story, that he was able to have a whole second chapter, a whole second love story in his life

0:26:38 Thomas: Wow. Yeah. Okay, you do what Lydia's grandfather did, and I met Lydia's grandpa, he was a World War II vet, and he was pretty fucking old, actually, I think he was only alive for maybe four years of our relationship, and you do what he did, you get in the old folks home and you fucking, you, if you're an old dude in the old folks home, oh my god, pick of the, it's, it's theater all over again, it's community theater all over again, you that that you can fuck all the old lady, I think that's actually true, now though I'm just realizing, you always, throughout your life as a man, you could probably fuck all the old, never mind, I'm gonna cut that, but but in the old folks

0:27:45 Tom: Thomas

0:27:48 Eli: Get to fuck all the old ladies you want

0:28:03 Tom: Has got like a side job as an orderly at the fucking retirement home, he's just rolling through

0:28:05 Thomas: I'm would probably be into it, um, but he, this is not a joke, this is a thing that people joke about, but it's actually real, like, they, you know how much they're fucking on those old folks homes, it's non-stop, and this was, yeah yeah

0:28:08 Tom: Oh like STIs are STIs actually run rampant through those places for real, there's a, there, there are, there's a huge epidemic of STIs that run ramped through those retirement and and other, you know, old folks communities for sure yeah to not get all these STIs these old People People are passing back and forth.

0:28:34 Eli: Oh,

0:28:19 Thomas: Yeah fuck yeah yeah. Why are you using protection? Who cares? Well, what are you going to die anyway? Unless there's like polio or something. I don't know what's there's probably one of the bad ones from like the 1800s.

0:28:40 Eli: She gave me the milk leg. She said she'd gotten tested, but she lied.

0:28:42 Thomas: Yeah, exactly. Fuck it. They're not using protection. That's, that's why I'm saying, why, why are you getting married? Just go hang out.

0:28:45 Tom: I don't know. I think I like my grandpa's story. I can see I can see that for my grandpa. Like, you know, he's not just trying to like, yeah, he's he's trying to be in love with somebody.

0:28:55 Thomas: Eli, back me up. Come on. Eli back back me up. God damn it.

0:28:57 Eli: Oh, I don't think Old people should pursue joy at all, and I think it's gross when they do. I do. I think it's gross. I think I'm going to go across the street and eat another dinner. You'd be like, yuck, yuk, we had dinner. You had joy, you had marriage, and now you're stuck here on Earth. I'm sorry you didn't get eaten by a lion at 40. That's what's supposed to happen, but old books on World War II is what we've got for you.

0:29:24 Thomas: Yeah.

0:29:24 Eli: I'm sorry, I, you know, what the culture could create, something different here's

0:29:27 Thomas: You can have a wood shop, a boat, or books about World War II. I do think that's, yeah, yeah. There's a few approved activities.

0:29:32 Eli: War Two those are the choices here's my question, and I don't know if your grandfather was religious, if you believe in an afterlife and you marry people you love twice, what happens in heaven has anyone ever ever heard a coherent right that's

0:29:42 Thomas: Yeah, this is a good one. So good. Yep.

0:29:51 Tom: Yeah, right. It's like, well, I hope Natalie and Helen get along, right? Yeah, I don't think my grandfather was particularly religious. I don't think he's ever spoken about religion before that I've ever heard, so I don't know if that was an issue for him.

0:30:02 Thomas: But you know, what's funny is I know we don't do this with religion because people, the only way they believe it is just by not thinking about these things, but I really do I do wish we would do, I wish we would pursue questions like this. I want to know, tell me for real like how you think the Noah story made sense first off, like every, just an average Christian I just want to be like, how do you think that would work? Like all that, the flood and the, you that stuff and I want an answer to this question. Tell me, you tell me Christians who listen, does God clone the partner so that get, like again, picture it doesn't matter the gender, one one husband, two wives, one wife, two, either way, like, or multiple. If you get remarried and they're both the love of your life, which they could be like, you know, lives are fucking too long. They're way too long, you could have a lot of time to have a full, loving, intense marriage twice probably. And what happens in heaven? Who are you with? Do they just get along?

0:30:29 Tom: Well, maybe everybody's polyamorous up in heaven. Right, that's like you're you know

0:30:57 Eli: Right oh

0:30:56 Thomas: Are they? But that seems kind of unfair. All that happened was the wife died early or the husband died early, and so therefore they got to share a husband now. That's not her fault.

0:30:58 Eli: Yeah Also, are they waiting up there watching you like finger bang someone you met at a corporate retreat? Like, oh, there he goes, I remember that move, enjoy it girlfriend. All right, I guess I'll go hang out with Shakespeare, some shit. I've got another 30, how long did you say, 37 years? Wow, I really hate that he does yoga, that's cool, I'll just hang out here for 37 years smooshed

0:31:30 Thomas: I wish I'd let him eat more Taco Bell, why was I against that?

0:31:35 Eli: Why did I make him give up red meat? Oh, it's a good time. The fact that the afterlife doesn't make any sense now, now, I say this all the time, and Anna's, uh, to me this year, one of her many gifts to me THIS YEAR, I, oh, it was April Fool's Day, for April Fool's Day. So we have only one one-way holiday in my direction as a family, and it's April Fool's Day. Anna does amazing pranks and stuff for me, um, I never do anything for her, I always mean to, but she always is the one who does it. It's like the one one-way holiday I'm great about it

0:31:44 Thomas: Do you try to get away with that April Fools, I didn't do anything, see, it's a, it's gambit to, geez.

0:32:09 Eli: No no, she just she just always does an amazing, like, these incredibly, like, long form, well thought out, very funny pranks, and the joke that I make all the time is like, when I die, because I have life insurance, Anna finally gets to marry a capoeira instructor because I don't know if you've ever seen how in shape capoeir instructors are, but they're, oh, they've just, they've got it down, they're perfect, has the money to get a capo wear instructor because I'm dead, and so for April Fool's Day this year, Anna had a t -shirt that said, she had it made and just wore it without telling me, that said, "Be the capoeira instructor that your husband thinks you'll end up with," even though that's not your whole vibe, and she just wore it around the house, and then I read it and I was like, yeah, so

0:32:29 Thomas: Oh yeah.

0:32:56 Thomas: That's awesome. My wife did that, I wouldn't notice it for probably a month. She'd have to wear the same shirt for like, yeah.

0:33:02 Eli: 20 years yeah Now, last things I want to say in defense of prenuptial agreements, because when we talk about prenuctial agreements, lot of the time people think of it in terms of men getting out of a marriage without having to pay, and what I want to point out to our female listeners who may or may not get married is that a prenuftial agreement is also an excellent way for you to make sure you are taken care of if you drop out of the workforce to have kids or drop out of the workforce to raise somebody's kids, it is, a and in a lot of situations, especially if the three A's are involved, you can be left entirely on your own, right?

0:33:15 Thomas: Yeah. Yes, absolutely.

0:33:42 Thomas: Sorry.

0:33:42 Eli: In those situations

0:33:43 Thomas: What

0:33:43 Tom: Do you mean if the three A's are involved?

0:33:43 Eli: Uh

0:33:43 Thomas: Are the three? Yeah. What Are The Three A's?

0:33:45 Eli: Addiction, abuse, or adultery.

0:33:47 Thomas: Oh, gotcha. Gotcha.

0:33:48 Eli: Right

0:33:48 Tom: Oh, see now where hang on because in most states be corrected from most states are almost all states are no fault states now. So it doesn't matter the reason for divorce. You can't actually go in Illinois. Illinois, it literally doesn't matter. Nobody asks. There's no reason. And most states are no fault. So it makes no difference what somebody does in terms of your obligations to them.

0:33:49 Eli: So 12

0:34:09 Thomas: Which is how it should be.

0:34:11 Eli: 12 states, yeah.

0:34:12 Tom: 12 states are no fault divorce. A minute. Are you serious? I feel so stupid. I had no idea. It's only 12 states have no fault diverse. Feel like such an asshole. That's That's insane.

0:34:18 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah, Whenever California is the thing I might bet is there not that many other states that also do it. That's just my my default position.

0:34:28 Eli: So, every state in the U.S. allows for a version of no state, but only 17 are considered true no -fall states, um, and five are middling because they have exceptions for the three A's.

0:34:31 Tom: Am I wrong about that? Wow.

0:34:39 Thomas: Interesting.

0:34:43 Tom: I had no idea. I mean, will, say, in Illinois, like, like, well protected without a prenup if you drop out of the workforce and you know, to have kids, or what have you. Like, there's yeah,

0:34:53 Thomas: Yeah. I bet you, it correlates. You've got a real big city there and there's a lot of wealthy people and business and whatever. There's a bunch of states that just fucking suck dick, and it's like, well, here in North Dakota, you know, your wife shouldn't get half your horses if she, you know, like, it's just fucking whatever, man, but I, yeah,

0:35:03 Tom: We're a heavily blue state so it makes sense right, I just

0:35:09 Eli: This Goldbreaker walks yeah, and

0:35:11 Thomas: Yeah, it

0:35:12 Tom: I'm fucking floored, I I genuinely thought that that was like old-timey shit, man, like, I feel so foolish.

0:35:16 Thomas: Is well, it is you know, we also lost Roe, uh, yeah, well, You also don't have the right to abortion anyway.

0:35:17 Tom: Wow, wow, wow, Yeah.

0:35:18 Eli: You're right there, Tom. Tom. So,

0:35:25 Tom: Oh my god. And

0:35:26 Eli: So so, Tom here at near the end, near the episode, and I do still want to hear where Thomas lies on this. Have I won you over? If you're not in one of those 17 true no-fault states. Yeah,

0:35:34 Thomas: But I yeah,

0:35:38 Tom: I, I actually think that a prenup, I will say that I think a, like, like, I think that a prenup is deeply romantically cynical. That said, I Think That It Is also incredibly practical. There's no getting around the practicality of it. But, you that they are just, for me personally, there's a cynicism built into that, that I would rather be, I would personally, I Would Rather Go Bankrupt 10 Times Over.

0:35:46 Thomas: Yep,

0:36:06 Tom: I rather lose everything and I would rather lose Everything into perpetuity than to live in a romantically cynical life.

0:36:06 Thomas: 100, that's and Tom can back that up, Tom. I believe Tom when he makes that pledge, he's gone through it

0:36:17 Eli: I know, it, in,

0:36:16 Tom: Yeah, I yeah, I just I just wouldn't I just, I just can't imagine doing that. I just can.

0:36:24 Thomas: 100, 100, here's what I was gonna say, Tom, I think we're, I think Tom and I might be both the insane people and Eli's probably the reasonable person here. I don't want to give anyone advice. Like, I, I never, ever would give anyone advice on prenups or anything, like, virtually anything, 'cause I'm just, I just think I'm, I'm very different than a lot of people in what I value and how I think. And I just, I'm like, do what you want to do. I'm not, I would never say don't, nobody needs to defend their decisions to me at all. However, I, would never get a prenup in a million fucking years. And I think it's insane. I never would. 'Cause I, I just, I'm happy to live my life in such a way where, uh, especially with something like this. And I think another topic like this has come up. I'm not remembering what, but I think I've said something like this before, which is I, very picky. I'm a picky person, and doesn't mean I always get it right.

Uh, it certainly doesn't means that, but it does mean that when it comes to, um, something as important to me as my primary relationship forever, you know, with the person I care about the most, I would not want to get married unless I felt like there's no fucking way way I'd ever need a prenup a million years, I just, I, there's not enough, it's the minute I was in a situation or a hypothetical relationship where it's like, yeah, let's get married, but you know, just some, just some crumbs, let's make sure I keep all my money.

0:36:58 Tom: Yeah

0:37:43 Eli: Case,

0:37:43 Thomas: I no, there's there's nothing yeah, but no, it's certainly possible, but it's, it, the minute I thought that that was what I was doing, like, that it's not, it's two levels of cynicism for me. It's for one, and, and I think depends on if you're the breadwinner or not. I want to be very clear.

If you did, unfortunately, in today, in our shitty society, I do agree with you, Eli, that if you are in a shitty state that doesn't have good protections and you're a woman who has stayed home, who has made sacrifice, a hundred percent, do not listen to me on that. This is coming specifically from who I am and the fact that I'm, you, not in that position, like a hundred percent. I wanted to be very clear about that.

You, you may be in a position, especially if you're a woman, where, where you need the protections, additional protections, just in case. Totally. But coming from where I'm coming from, I'm like, you, Tom, where it's like, yeah, the minute I felt like I was in that situation, I'd be like, well, let's just not do it. Like, fucking, I don't know, why are we getting married? Well, let's wait till I'm sure that it's not that. And if there's a 1% chance, there's 0% chance on Lydia, honestly.

I don't, that's another part of the not giving advice. And it was in my vows, actually, because when people would ask, like, oh, do you recommend Okay Cupid, my joke was like, yeah, I mean, no, I'd know, it's like, if you won the lottery being like, yeah, you should buy lottery tickets, it's fine, I'm telling you it's fucking great, buy

0:37:43 Eli: I'm wrong, yeah, just in case I's not possible to be wrong, nope.

0:37:44 Tom: Man.

0:39:06 Thomas: I went great for me, went amazing for me, you should by

0:39:09 Tom: I recommend only buying the winning ones only. By the winning ones. If you buy the losing ones, yeah, it's a waste.

0:39:10 Thomas: Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, I should have said by the winning ones, yes,

0:39:15 Tom: It's a total waste of money.

0:39:15 Thomas: Yes,

0:39:11 Eli: So yeah, by the way, so Thomas, you're saying that, like, um, would never make a mistake, but if you thought you might make a mistakes, you wouldn't make a mistake, cool. All right, well, my mind has changed, my mind is changed, I I concede the point, uh, everybody just raw dog it into wet.

0:39:24 Thomas: Yes, no, there's not a, there's yep, yep, yeah, I wouldn't know if I if

0:39:34 Tom: Eli, there's

0:39:35 Thomas: I ever thought I could be mistaken about Lydia, who Lydia is, I wouldn't marry her, I'm not, you know what I mean, like, I could be mistaken, but I'm not going to ever approach it as though that's a possibility.

0:39:35 Tom: Yeah,

0:39:48 Eli: I was, you're not going to, I don't wear seatbelts. I'm sure, if I wasn't

0:39:52 Thomas: What if, okay, what if there was some action, what if they're, so let me, let me ask you this, what if, if there was some action you were supposed to take, and the, and the reasoning for it was like, yeah, do this because, in case there's like a two percent chance that Anna actually is a serial killer, and you're like, oh, okay, I'll just, just in case, no, I, here's my stance, if Lydia is somehow Dexter and, like, on in her off time, first off, I'm very impressed that she's raising three kids and committing murders, like, that's can we talk about the sex, the sexism in the serial killer industry. I mean, it's hard as

0:39:55 Eli: Sure, I was going to.

0:40:08 Eli: Yeah.

0:40:22 Eli: And killing all those people. Yeah, good for her. Oh,

0:40:29 Thomas: A woman to make it. Let's just talk very important social justice issue. That aside, if that's true, I'm comfortable, like, like Tom said, a hundred percent, Tom, I'll just be like, I am so certain of this. I know who Lydia is. I know who she is. And if I am wrong, I don't care about preserving a little bit of fucking ducats in the world in which my entire universe has just shattered because I was fundamentally wrong about who this person is. I don't care about money in that situation. I'll fucking drive for Uber. It doesn't matter.

0:40:29 Eli: It's terrible.

0:40:55 Tom: Has Collapsed I I can add to that a couple of things. Like, I think that in order for me, in the second marriage, right, and this was not true in my first marriage, I just want to, like, I want to be very, very clear, in my first marriage, there was a very much like a next-step-ism kind of thing that I did. Right. So it was just, I was 23 and it made next step kind of sense to get married at 37, or how fucking old I was, I don't even remember, 38, whatever.

0:41:31 Tom: When Haley and I got married, I realized that for me to do it the second time, I had to be willing to just be absolutely absolutely fantastically hurt. I had to be willing to accept that In order to do this, I am okay with being fantastically heard if this goes wrong. And that, like, like you're saying, Thomas, like, I have been, like, I've lost everything three times now in my life. Like, I've been reset to zero or under three times now. So that hurts a lot less for

0:41:31 Eli: It

0:41:44 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah,

0:42:04 Tom: Me than the idea of being crushed. Like, the idea of losing Hayley would be a devastation. I don't think I would be interested in recovering from. Genuinely, I'm not even sure I'd be interested in recovery. So the idea that, like, I lose Hayley and I'm like, well, I still got some money in my account, I'd be like, I, because I've already been to zero and to get out of my first marriage, like, didn't take, like, I mean, talk too much out of school, but like, I was very willing, I was like, yeah, whatever checks I have to write, I'll take all the debt, you can, I'll pay off everything, I don't care, like, you're, and when you're like, there's a point too where you're just like, look, to get out of this thing, I'll chew my arm off, like

0:42:25 Thomas: It's Yeah and

0:42:45 Tom: If that means that I have to like

0:42:45 Thomas: You were rewarded for that generous behavior with all kinds of goodwill from your ex and it, it went so well. Oh,

0:42:52 Tom: There was nothing, there's, I guess what I'm saying is that there's also, in order to have your freedom from something that you want to be free from, from experience, I can say that there is no check that feels like anything to write right it. It like, it literally feels like nothing. There was no resentment in it at all either. It was just like, great. What it needs to happen. Like whatever needs to happened, we'll make it happen. It doesn't matter. Just need to move forward and I can't continue to look back and fight over, like you said, like fight over these ducats.

0:43:02 Thomas: Yeah oh yeah for sure yeah Well, and and you weren't in a marriage where you thought this was the greatest person in the world, million, we're gonna stay together for a million, you know what I mean, like Not to, not to you know, again, but put words in your mouth but I'm pretty sure that wasn't how you went into it, and so it wasn't as though you were in that situation where you were with open eyes, you're like, there's no way I'm wrong about this one, baby, woo, bet it all on, on fucking odds or whatever the roulette, roulette bet would be. Yeah.

0:43:28 Tom: No, no, I wasn't. No. That's why. Yeah. No?

0:43:41 Tom: No, No, I absolutely not. Like I said, it was an, it very much a, this is the next step that people take sort of a thing. And that is a big part of what propelled me forward at a very young age to get into a marriage that I was ill-equipped to know myself well enough to get into.

0:44:00 Thomas: I'm trying to think of a good analogy, Tom. And for me, it's, if someone was like, all right, there's a small chance you're, a nuclear bomb is going to go off, so would you like to put some sunscreen on? It's like, well, what, what, what is that going to do? Well, if it could be that it protects you from some of the burning, it's like, what, if a bomb goes off, I'm dead, whatever, I don't you know I'm not going to plan for like a, oh, you can have slight more comfort on a part of your arm that only got second degree burnt. No, if I'm wrong about Lydia, I'm right. I'm not wrong about everything in the world. I don't care. Oh, I'll have $1,000. Who cares? Don't care?

0:44:19 Eli: Thomas. Thomas, Thomas, Thomas, let me sell you on this. I got one more card in my pocket. I know we're running long, but I got One More Card in My Pocket. Lydia secretly decks her. Divorce time comes, and you're like, ha, nothing in the world can touch me. And then she says, Thomas abuses the kids. I would like full custody. Do you know what can protect you from that situation?

0:44:39 Thomas: Sure. Okay.

0:44:57 Thomas: You saying that if you do a prenup and you're abusive to your kids, you could keep the kids?

0:45:03 Tom: No, if you're accused of it, I think.

0:45:04 Eli: Yeah, if you're accused of it, yes.

0:45:06 Thomas: What I'm saying is, imagine I was abusive, would a would a prenup keep custody of the kids that sounds fucking horrible, this is a good argument for prenups, you're saying, cool, great argument, yeah.

0:45:09 Eli: Yeah, you can, yes, Yes. It actually changes the custody arrangements. I thought I would, I thought I would sell you over because you love your kids so much and you want to see them. And okay.

0:45:20 Thomas: Now I'm so insulted by the idea of prenups that I don't want to participate, if they're going to keep abusers with their kids, then now it's, now, now I'm on strike against prenups Because of that.

0:45:30 Eli: Okay. All right. So here, here's the advice we'll give as a podcast. Only get a prenup if it's possible you could be wrong about something. But if you're like Tom and Thomas, right? Not only could you, you not be wrong, but if you are wrong, it doesn't matter that you're wrong, and you don't need any backups to protect you, if you're in that situation, go ahead and not get a prenup, but, you know, if you have ever been mistaken and then wanted to be able to afford to eat, then you you might want to consider, you might wanna consider is

0:45:49 Thomas: Yes. Yes.

0:46:01 Thomas: Nah. It's not, again, it's not that I couldn't be, well, it is that I couldn't be wrong with Lydia. But in general, if it was somebody else, I don't, that's so, that's what's so hard. I don't know what it would be like if I was with somebody else. I really don't. Because I also know that if and Lydia I, for some reason, divorced, it's not impossible that we could divorce, I guess.

But, like, if we did, I'd just be like, yeah, all right, let's figure out the money, whatever you need. I don't care. Like, it just, she's such a selfless person. There's no fucking way we would ever turn into that fucking scenario of like, all right, I'm going to go for the house. And she's, it just would never, it would never happen. Never happen. And if I'm wrong, I don't care about life after that. Like, you know what I mean?

Like I'm, it's so, it's so core to my world that I know who Lydia is that I do not care about preserving a tiny bit of money in the situation in which my entire worldview is shattered. Like it just, who cares?

0:46:59 Eli: Well, don't like to request listener feedback, but hey, if you've ever trusted someone who turned out to be a little bit different than what you expected and you tried to preserve your worldview without a prenup, send us an email at Dear Old Dads at gmail.com, we'll before we head out, uh, got a question for you, what type of candy do you buy for a divorced wife with no prenup, a hundred grand you

0:47:28 Tom: So she

0:47:32 Thomas: Don't get it.

0:47:38 Clip: Want to meet sexy DILFs in your area? Email the dads at DearOldDads.com or, better yet, send us a message on Patreon. You can follow us on all social media by checking the links in the show notes. And if you need more podcasts in your life, you can find Tom on Cognitive Dissonance, Thomas on Serious Inquiries Only, and Eli on Godawful Movies and all the Puzzle in the Thunderstorm shows. Dear Old Dads is edited and produced by my favorite DILF, Tom Smith, who also wrote and recorded the intro music, which is used with his permission. This podcast is a production of Daddy Issues LLC. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.

0:48:16 Eli: Do prenups first, that'll be a fun one. Oh, and I'm what the fuck is that, oh my, uh, my series started to play, thank God, for some reason, who knows why.

0:48:18 Thomas: Yikes. The fuck was that was that, you, Tom? Or I was wondering, I was like, who does, somebody have a radio going yeah watching

0:48:31 Eli: Tom is so bored of my pitch. That he's just having a little music

0:48:35 Thomas: TikToks yeah