DOD55: Dinosaur, Junior!

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:28 Tom: To Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's vision is based on movement. I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. I don't even know what that intro means, gentlemen, but hello.

0:00:32 Thomas: I love it.

0:00:35 Eli: I was going to say, if ever we could redirect an episode, it should be this one just so that everyone's like, I think Tom has a brain tumor. I don't really understand. The intros used to be about parenting.

0:00:48 Thomas: Yeah, we yeah,

0:00:49 Tom: If I ever get a brain tumor, that's actually how I'm going to tell the audience. I'll just be like, hey, so, oof.

0:00:55 Eli: The podcast that has one-third of a brain tumor.

0:01:00 Thomas: We often tell Tom for fun that we're doing a certain topic and then he makes an intro loosely related to that. And So Tom sounds insane. So it's fun. It's a fun. Everybody wins.

0:01:10 Eli: Exactly. It's

0:01:11 Tom: That's fine. Not the first time. It will not be the last time.

0:01:14 Thomas: I like the time where he just out of spite, did the same intro like 14 times in a row until we finally did that episode.

0:01:19 Eli: Yeah.

0:01:19 Tom: I'm going to use it. God

0:01:21 Thomas: I respected that. That you know, you were just before we recording, we're expressing what you a brilliant idea you had. I'm curious if you'd like to pitch that to everybody. Buddy.

0:01:27 Eli: I have a brilliant idea. So look, what do the people listening to this podcast want more than anything? That's right, the three of us together with our families, co-parenting, live. Will the Bosnics Survive.

0:01:31 Tom: Damn it. Okay.

0:01:40 Tom: No, no, no.

0:01:42 Eli: Probably not, this is like, I don't know what three chemicals explode when you put them together, but they've got nothing on these three families, and I have the perfect way to do it. Cruise, because yes.

0:01:55 Tom: My God. I hate both words you just used. That's the

0:01:57 Eli: Here's

0:01:57 Tom: Thing is I hate Both of those words. Then you put two terrible words together, oh god, okay.

0:01:59 Thomas: And I hate one of them a lot. Yeah.

0:01:58 Eli: The thing. It's The perfect formula to destroy all members of our families. So first of all, imagine this, the Smiths will have a time and place they need to be, or a boat will leave them somewhere.

0:02:16 Thomas: Yeah, so we're not on the cruise. So step one, Eli and Tom are on the Cruise together with their families and Phoebe. It'll just be you guys and Phoebe will have made it.

0:02:23 Tom: They would

0:02:17 Eli: Yeah, right, step us and Phoebe just sail in the open sea, step no, she's got a jet ski, yeah, exactly, she just swings on board on a rope with a, with a sword between her teeth, yeah, exactly. Fine, two, Tom will not be able to work and therefore will have a nervous breakdown.

0:02:29 Thomas: She will have somehow chartered a vehicle to get there because she's so brilliant. Yeah.

0:02:47 Tom: Probably hire me on the cruise. Ship, I'm sure I've got, they would probably hire me. Yeah, no.

0:02:48 Eli: Absolutely. Number Three, when Tom finally relaxes enough, he will realize he is on a Disney cruise surrounded by Disney adults and, short of, like the people who have left his Patreon for Cog Dis saying like, I swear Tom is my greatest enemy, I can't think of worse humans to surround Tom with than Disney adults like myself.

0:03:12 Thomas: Yeah,

0:03:11 Tom: No, yeah, you're you can kill people, international waters though, right, I just want to double check before we sign up. Once

0:03:14 Eli: It's true. They can't convict you. Yeah. And then if you marry them as you're throwing them overboard, they can't testify against you. It's a whole, it says, yeah, exactly.

0:03:23 Thomas: Oh,

0:03:23 Tom: I'm I'm a little more on board, I've got, it's been a stressful couple of years, I could, I could use the anger management moment, yeah, on

0:03:27 Thomas: Yeah. I'm just looking forward to us having the only kids on The Disney Cruise and people being mad at us for it. Like you brought your fucking kids on this Disney Cruise because nowadays it's all it's just adults like it's entirely adults.

0:03:29 Eli: Yeah. And what are you doing?

0:03:42 Thomas: Oh, my. I mean, look, I'm exaggerating. Disneyland is still full of kids, but like it feels like it's really tipping toward just being an adult thing now. Like it's like especially with the Star Wars land and the and the Marvel land. Yeah,

0:03:41 Tom: Their cruises, oh, My, God, Oh,

0:03:42 Eli: Yeah. No, just too expensive. Like, every adult I know who has kids has been like, ah, I would love to take the kids to Disney. You know, me and the wife were planning a trip, and then I talked to them a week later, and they're like, those motherfuckers, do you know how much they want to charge you to walk in the doors of that park? Now, don't get me wrong. I am a Disney adult. I love Disney. I think it's worth it. But I too have done the calculations of bringing my barely able to create a memory three-year-old to Disney World. And I'm like, I get down on one knee and I'm, like, hey, buddy, I know you don't talk a lot. And I'm not quite sure what's going on up there. But I need it to, like click into high gear, okay?

0:03:59 Thomas: Yeah, true. Because the adults have the money. Yeah.

0:04:11 Thomas: Yeah, yeah.

0:04:35 Tom: God,

0:04:35 Eli: This is go time, okay.

0:04:36 Thomas: You must make memory. Make happy memory now. Do you see

0:04:39 Eli: Have you ever seen the chicken episode of MASH? This is what we're going through right now. We're on the chicken of MESH.

0:04:45 Thomas: This hole you've blown in my wallet? You will make a happy memory right the fuck now, son.

0:04:48 Eli: Yeah. Lifetime memories, oh,

0:04:46 Tom: I imagine a hell more inconceivably awful than going on a goddamn Disney cruise with the kids, going on it like, no. See aren't

0:04:58 Thomas: What is a Disney? I'll be honest. I'll bite. What's a Disney cruise? I don't. I like Disney. I don'T like cruises.

0:05:02 Eli: It's the best yep

0:05:04 Tom: You on a Disney-themed cruise ship the whole time, you're just surrounded by fucking Disney aesthetic everywhere you look no

0:05:07 Eli: Shows there's

0:05:11 Thomas: Okay. That sounds kind of fun.

0:05:12 Eli: Shows there're Disney shows every night there's Disney food and the, every meal is a character meet and greet, so you know the character breakfast at Disney World this is gonna be so imagine it a guy dressed as Goofy walks over to our table and I'm just like, Goofy, Tom's a big fan, which I will say every time someone walks over, and then this fucking 19 year old in a Goofy, and look, Tom's a good guy, Tom's not actually gonna be a jerk, so this fucking 19 year old in the Goofy costume's gonna come over and put his arm around Tom, and I will take a photo of it, and we will do that every meal, every day, for as long as two to six weeks, my

0:05:20 Tom: No absolutely not absolutely not, no I'd rather starve to death and die

0:05:51 Thomas: Whoa.

0:05:51 Eli: Friends, two to six week cask of a Montalado hat, have shit on exposing it's a great idea it's a great idea

0:06:00 Tom: Oh god see

0:05:52 Thomas: Now. Out. Well, anyway, fuck this idea. I can't be anywhere for two to six weeks. I'd have to take the best trip in the world to, you know, France or something. And maybe I could do two weeks. Otherwise, I got to, I work as well. Oh

0:06:02 Eli: Yeah

0:06:13 Tom: I'll always be spared that particular hell because Hayley does not do cruise ships, like she gets seasick, we, when we went out, um, when we were in Australia, we went, uh, it was like a lifelong dream to go snorkel the Great Barrier Reef, and I didn't really understand that the great failure reef, I knew it, but I didn't really understand it, that the the Great Barrier Reef is like a couple of hours from the shore via boat.

0:06:36 Thomas: Shit. I did not know that. I never thought of it. Can't they move that thing closer can't they fucking just, you know, get a backhoe and

0:06:37 Eli: It's far if we

0:06:38 Tom: So, like you get on a boat, Thomas, and you boat your way up out to the reef and you they really should. It's inconveniently located. It's terrible.

0:06:47 Thomas: Yeah

0:06:48 Eli: Could get the garbage island to meet up with it, you could just walk there, yeah

0:06:52 Tom: You're right? It just washes up, tangles up on the beach.

0:06:53 Thomas: The Pacific garbage patch synergy business synergy yeah

0:07:02 Tom: Like we, we go on this boat, this, it's a pretty sizable boat, a couple of hundred people are on this thing because we're all gonna like go snorkel, or you know some people are scooping, and so it's like, it's pretty big boat, but like, pull up to this pier that's docked literally in the middle of the ocean, you can't see land in any direction, you haven't been able to for like, like an hour. It's like a three hour boat ride. And poor Haley was like wildly seasick, like just wildly seasic. She was a, she was a trooper. She got in the water. She snorkeled with me. She hated every minute of it, but she did it because she knew it was important to me. It was great. But like now, if I were to be like, oh, hey hon, let's do a cruise, like, no, no,

0:06:59 Eli: Exactly yes, we could trick her on, we could trigger on

0:07:40 Tom: Trick her onto a cruise?

0:07:40 Eli: We put blinders on her put

0:07:42 Tom: You want to deal with Haley after you've tricked her onto to a cruise, look,

0:07:42 Eli: Her on a I'll

0:07:41 Thomas: Why don't you go ahead and do that Eli Eli like you've raised your hand for person who's gonna either tell Haley we're going on a cruise or trick Haley on a crew, you go head, you

0:07:50 Eli: Trick her own, I have, I got, I know, I know how to do it, I'll check her on, I'll

0:07:53 Tom: I'm not saying you can't trick her, but I am saying that if you do, you're dealing with her once you've done it, like, because

0:07:57 Thomas: Yeah, that's

0:07:59 Eli: Look, it's a big ship, it's fun, it's a fun added activity, I am playing a one person yeah I'm playing a man game of manhunt throughout the entire cruise

0:08:01 Thomas: A picture oh he'll bring a Goofy costume yeah speaking

0:08:07 Tom: Like you know how you said earlier, like, oh, you know, Tom's a nice guy, he won't make it, like, Hayley's not like, Haylee will hurt people, Hayley doesn't give a shit, which

0:08:17 Eli: That's what I'm saying no I just lure her on with true crime podcasts, right, slowly but surely makes her way up the deck, right apparently none of you are getting spinning literally

0:08:25 Thomas: Of things that aren't real, auto ads, we apparently nobody hears I don't, I literally contacted the ad guy to be like, hey, um, we're kind of joking about these auto ads, and everybody said like, literally, what's an auto ad, I've never heard of one, how could that be possible, and he's like, oh, he gave me this stuff, I already new. Well, they don't all fill, plus it's all, you know, it's based on geographies, but yeah, but a lot of people are like, I've never heard one, that can't possibly be right, right, well, we'll see

0:08:52 Eli: The only thing worse than selling out is selling out for no money, just

0:08:58 Thomas: You have to admit if this is me pranking you, that's pretty good though, right, like that's pretty

0:09:02 Eli: It's pretty good yeah, yeah, it's like, it's like, what was that, the game, right, with that movie where it all turns out it was a is that I'm willing to murder for one dollar or whatever the it is, yeah

0:09:02 Thomas: Yeah oh my god so dumb yeah

0:09:02 Tom: This is a good one.

0:09:14 Tom: The, you know, if you're the like 11 people, I guess, who have listened to the auto ads, how mad are you right now? Listening? Like,

0:09:21 Eli: Yeah

0:09:20 Thomas: There's some poor fool in a really marketable area, you know, like a really, what, for whatever reason advertisers are like, yeah, fucking sell stuff here, who's just, just got like 40 ads a show, who's just like, fuck this, fuck

0:09:30 Tom: Right. Will say I get the auto adds. I'm here in Chicago. I get a fucking million auto Yeah.

0:09:36 Eli: No, I get a ton too, yeah oh

0:09:37 Thomas: They do exist, unless they just put them on my phone and me and Tom, like, just to fool us, well

0:09:41 Tom: No, they fucking large and in charge and they are awful, which is worse, Eli auto ads or violent seasickness. This is is this a tough one?

0:09:51 Eli: Well, let's see, apparently only half of our audience has been violently seasick, so I'm definitely gonna go with the auto ads for sure, kill one of us I don't, teach us, the other two will be too scared

0:09:58 Thomas: If people want to avoid these auto ads that they're definitely all hearing all the time constantly, they should go to go to patreon.com/dearolddads And I'm sure you'll see the patron goal for taking a fucking Disney cruise that we're not going to do as well.

0:10:09 Eli: Oh

0:10:14 Tom: We're not doing that.

0:10:15 Eli: My god I would love that so much

0:10:17 Tom: Oh,

0:10:16 Thomas: I would rather swap. I'd rather wife swap. Whatever the other, whatever the goal was. What's the next one? Is it wife swap or kid swap? I can't remember, but.

0:10:21 Eli: I think wife swap already was passed, we already did wife swap, yeah nah

0:10:27 Tom: Everybody

0:10:27 Thomas: Oh, we did that. I feel like I would remember that, but okay. Yeah. I

0:10:31 Eli: Tom did all the swapping for both of us

0:10:34 Thomas: Must've had a lot of red wine Vine vinegar. Yeah,

0:10:37 Eli: Yeah, just, just commuted, had sex with our wives, went back to Chicago, in his words, the problem solved itself, so, you know, that's fine, best

0:10:42 Tom: Was happy.

0:10:49 Thomas: I wanted to tell you guys about a very funny thing that happened four to five hundred years ago that I've been wanting to talk about. My son Arlo has had this dinosaur book that somebody got him. Some genius, some beautiful person. Could have been, could have been Lydia. I actually don't know who got it. You know, we get too many fucking gifts from people. I don't know who got what. But I often feel like a total asshole because I'm like, yeah, who got that book?

And Lydia's like, I did. I literally got them. I'm not, I'm, like, okay, but they have 400,000 things, I don't know. Anyway, this dinosaur book is great. It's, like, it's like the dinosaur book. And Arlo, what the fuck is it about dinosaurs? Have you ever just thought of how funny and weird it is that, like, we've just, as a culture, as we have decided that for some reason, and it's universal, universal being, this fucking species of animal that we shouldn't even know about, by the way.

It's a miracle of science. I don't know that we should know about it. We're not capable of having this knowledge, really, except scientists had to go play God and resurrect the fucking bones that were stored in goddamn rock or whatever it is, you know, that got stuck in an oil pit from, no, it wouldn't be oil because they were the oil, right? I don't know.

And we, for some reason, we know about these crazy fucking animals, and we just, that's our whole, I don't know about you guys, but that's my entire, like, kids' culture is dinosaur, like, it's their religion, is

0:12:13 Thomas: Dinosaurs, I listen to the boy where he's actually like a Jehovah's Witness evangelizing about from the good book of dinosaur, he's like, here, have you, you know what our lord dinosaur has to say, yeah

0:12:22 Tom: But did you get into dinosaurs, like I can't think of anything more mesmerizingly insane than to be like, you know, all right, here's a deal, I'm gonna tell you something true, you know how there's no dragons, uh, that's only true now, but also the entire world was exclusively run by dragons, at one was a dragon atropolis Right. Just forever Oh really, dad? How many dragons? Literally more than you can imagine, just dozens and dozens of them, and we can see their skeletons and we can go to a museum and look at the dragons. Like, it, what in the world could entrance a kid more than fucking dinosaurs? It's amazing.

0:12:37 Thomas: And a government, yeah a dinosaur government yeah Well,

0:12:44 Eli: Yeah and

0:13:00 Thomas: Sort of the other direction though too, Tom, is we set them up to be bummed out. We're like, hey, let's teach you and give you books and toys and everything media of the coolest creature possible. Like it's these amazing creatures, they're large for one thing, kids love things that are just big, they're like, they're big, he'll tell me, Arlo will be like, you know, dinosaurs are like really really big. And I'm like, yeah, man. And he's like, that's awesome. You know, it's like the, and then, and then so we set them up and then they're like, all right, when am I seeing, when are we meeting these things?

Like, when are they, when do I get to see the dinosaur? Like are they, where are they? Are they here? And we got to be like, oh no, poor, innocent, young child. You know what happened is an unfathomably long time ago when these things existed. Like I can't even put into words for your tiny child brain how far you missed it, like how late, how not just the normal amount that the Smith family is late, you really miss these fucking dinosaurs like, I, I can't even, I'm gonna say the number, Arlo, and you're not gonna believe me, you're not gonna belief, I

0:13:00 Tom: Yeah. Yeah.

0:13:35 Tom: You Don't get to

0:13:53 Eli: You can't conceptualize it, you have

0:14:01 Thomas: Might

0:14:01 Eli: No idea what's, what I'm saying, I might as well go boop boop because that's how little you can conceptualize this many years here's

0:14:07 Thomas: As well, make a series of sounds that's nothing, that's the same as the, the amount of years, years ago, like that's, that, it's impossible, and they're gone, they don't exist anymore, we, I've already stolen something from you that I told you wouldn't know existed, that I told you about that was super cool, and then I was like, yeah, that doesn't exist, I've just made a thing for you and robbed you of it for no reason, I

0:14:31 Eli: But here's the thing, I think the dinosaurs are a very powerful lesson that really everyone, but especially children, need to learn, because they always say, well, what, what happened to them? And you're like, okay, so we live in a cold and indifferent universe, and for no reason, and I can't emphasize this enough, for no season whatsoever, a tiny piece of rock slammed into this planet, covered it in dust, and they all starved to death. Now, I know you're thinking the rock slammed and then maybe that killed a few of them, I'm telling you that killed a micro percentage of them, most of them just got hungry and screamed and begged for any kind of mercy, and then they died, and now we drive our cars on their rotten bones, nighty night kiddo.

0:15:20 Thomas: Did kind of resent when you went into that level of detail with my son, I gotta say, what I felt, it felt a little unnecessary, I don't know why you, you asked me to zoom you in for that, yeah.

0:15:29 Eli: Have an important message to deliver and I won't be refused, right?

0:15:33 Thomas: Uh, but dinosaurs, isn't that fucking weird, like pointless to say there's no other species that does this, because like, obviously not, but like, it's just, I often switch to the frame of reference, sort of like you just said, we're in a cold and different universe, sometimes I just think about stuff, I'm like, you know how we're just fucking monkeys that evolved, isn't it weird to be like yeah, one of the things we did is we got our kids into really into pictures and toys of another animal that we never got to see, just fucking weird.

0:15:51 Tom: I

0:16:02 Eli: Well, think this thing, there's this like weird six-year period where we're like, hey, uh, kid, you get to be joyful and genuinely curious for the next six years, like you can explore this wonderful universe, you could be into dinosaurs, you'd be to robots, you could do magic tricks for your friends. And then the day you turn six, if you still like those things, your peers will mercilessly bully you until you like exactly the movie and TV and fucking whatever entertainment we slam down your throat for the rest of your life. And if you, if you ever, if you'd ever, ever differ that, we'll literally kill you. We will literally kill. We might not directly kill you, but sometimes we do directly kill. You so enjoy these six years, kiddos, and choose one, by the way, you have to choose one, you can't like everything, you have choose one thing to like for these six years, and everyone will buy it for you for ten years as a four year punishment for those six years where you liked stuff

0:16:45 Thomas: Yeah. It'll get you eventually yeah yeah most of your relatives will, will still think you're into the thing even though you're way too old for it for like 10 years, yeah

0:17:07 Eli: Mhm. Yeah

0:17:08 Tom: Will say, though, I was talking to Finn about this, now Finn at 16, Finn had his dinosaur phase, and he had his dinosaur face hard, like, because that's just who he is, like both of my boys, they get into something and they like fixate hard on it for a little while, like it becomes like, like their real, like passionate hobby, and like Finn was like into fucking dinosaurs big time when he was in elementary school, and I mentioned this, this exact episode topic to him in the car the other day, and he lit up, 16 years old, he lit upp, guys, he's like, oh, I still know all that stuff, I remember, he he immediately like clicked right back into it. And like, I know you're kind of joking, Eli, but I know you're also kind of not. I think there's something real about what you said that like there kind of comes an age where really being genuinely like openly excited about stuff becomes uncool.

0:17:08 Eli: Yeah

0:17:17 Thomas: Yeah nice Nice.

0:17:57 Thomas: I don't think that was a joke at all.

0:17:58 Eli: Absolutely no that's not a joke at all, yeah

0:17:58 Thomas: Yeah.

0:17:59 Tom: Yeah. And it's sad. It's really fucking sad.

0:18:01 Thomas: Yeah, it really is.

0:18:02 Tom: Like it's funny because like Sarah Cecil's wife has this like catchphrase that she uses all the time when people will like kind of denigrate even because adults will do it you know, they'll be like, ah, you know, they'll kind of like denigvate their own hobbies, and she's like, it's okay to like stuff and it's such a, it's such a silly thing, but it's like such a kind of a profound thing to really kind of internalize, that don't have to like cool stuff, that's nonsense, there's no cool stuff, you can just like stuff, like

0:18:10 Thomas: Mm hmm. Mm hm. Yeah yeah.

0:18:16 Eli: Mhm.

0:18:27 Thomas: And it, I, and think it comes back eventually, hopefully, if you know, like, I, but there is that age where, and I certainly felt it too, where it's like you're so hyper aware of the social fucking bullshit as a kid, you know, and it does suck that like, and and the tragedy of it is if you happen to be the one or two kids, ever. There's always like one or two who don't give a fuck somehow. And they're just like, no, I just like dinosaurs. Everyone's like, oh, okay. Like if you're actually self -confident about it, nobody can touch you. Like other kids really, unless it's like something really weird that they're going to make fun of you for. But for the most part, if you are super self -confidence, but I don't know how kids have that. Like I definitely didn't. I don't know. Maybe, maybe Eli did because he thought he was the center of the universe. I do' n't know.

0:19:08 Eli: Much.

0:19:08 Thomas: But like somehow, however that is, I would love to have my kid be the one who's like yeah, I don't give a fuck if you're making fun of me. I'm into dinosaurs. And then I think that pretty much kids respond to that. They weakness. They're like the fucking, they're the velociraptor. Their visions.

0:19:21 Eli: Like dinosaurs that well, velociraptors

0:19:23 Thomas: Well, they are real. They are just not like that.

0:19:24 Eli: Aren't real, they were made up by the guy in in the movie, come on now. No. They're not real No.

0:19:29 Tom: Not as depicted Yeah.

0:19:29 Thomas: Yeah.

0:19:30 Eli: He made him up to a whole hog, totally unexistent, much like the brontosaurus nerds that's right I

0:19:34 Thomas: Well is the one that's not real, right? Isn't the brontosaurus fake or something?

0:19:37 Eli: Fucking know The nerds are fighting about that. One They fight about a guy lit another guy's desk on fire in that fight if you want to know how intense that is, at one point one guy was like, I'm gonna light the motherfucker's desk on, they worked at the same place, he walked across the room and was just like, your desk is on fire, it's 100% true so

0:19:39 Thomas: Oh, they they are.

0:19:41 Tom: Oh, yeah what's

0:19:53 Thomas: Is this real?

0:19:56 Tom: Happening all right Is this a bit

0:19:56 Thomas: Yeah. Is this an actual thing or no?

0:19:57 Tom: Yeah.

0:19:58 Eli: 100% part of the Brontosaurus War that is still ongoing to this day, yes, yeah.

0:20:01 Thomas: The Brontosaurus Wars. Wow. Well, that's sort of related because what's the actual thing? It's like Brachiosaurus, I think is what. Okay. Well I think Brachiosaurs is one of them too because, and I should get my son in here if he weren't at school.

0:20:09 Eli: Apatosaurus I

0:20:15 Tom: I was gonna say let's get Arlo to weigh in Arlo would know

0:20:16 Eli: Was gonna say yeah, that's

0:20:16 Thomas: Yeah. Oh, he'll tell us. But he also, the funny thing about Arlo is he, he does have a lot of real information, but he also So sort of Eli -esque, if he doesn't know something, he's fully confident of just making it up and saying it like, you know, that spiky dinosaur, he'll just be like, yeah, that's a spikasaurus. And I'm like, I don't, I'm, like, 80% sure that's not true.

0:20:18 Tom: Oh Yeah, dude, I love it I

0:20:29 Eli: My boy

0:20:38 Thomas: I'm not 100% because some of the dinosaurs, yeah.

0:20:39 Tom: Love too that you're like I could be wrong though

0:20:41 Thomas: I know some of those dinosaurs, they did do that. They got really lazy and they're like, this one's fucking clubfootasaurus, I dunno, it just looks like it, you know? And sometimes he's right. I'll be like that can't be right. And then he's he's right, but I'm pretty sure Spikasaurus is not correct.

Like I could, I'm not going to look it up because I don't want to know, but anyway, one thing that was, I was so proud of, and I wanted to mention in all this, tell just a little bit of a story, not much, is, and you know how I've talked about, you differentiating Phoebe and she was just super naturally early on certain things like language and all that stuff. And she's just very very expressive. She tells us her thoughts.

She seems to be considering everything in the world. And so when we had Arlo, it was hard to know what's, you what's the level of being a little slower that's fine and what should we be concerned about? That's, you know... I think a lot of people have been in this situation. And it was nothing we were ever, like... super worried about. But there... you know? We were like, he hasn't really said much, you know. I don't know if he knows these words.

I know he knows how to talk. And he has in the the last, I guess I have no sense of time, but in the last maybe half a year or so has just really exploded. Like it's, it's gone from like, oh,

0:20:42 Tom: Like

0:21:49 Thomas: He's not really talking to like, Oh, he won't shut the fuck up. Like I need this guy really to cool it. Like, it was just too much talking at all times. And one of the things he does is he loves to just tell us about his passions and dinosaurs. Again, it is his religion. His, he, he will tell you about the good, but read from the good book, which is his big dinosaur book. And so I decided the other day, I was like, you know, here's But the thing about my kids and scary stuff. It still hasn't kicked in. I know we've kind of mentioned this before. I was like, I bet we could watch Jurassic Park. I know.

0:21:49 Tom: That's Great. Yeah.

0:22:19 Eli: What?

0:22:19 Thomas: We could watch the Jurassic Park, yeah, because here's the thing I before was super cautious about this because I'm always worried that Phoebe, especially going to be scared. They're not scared of fucking anything. It's weird in terms of movies. I'll just be like, hey, this is a little bit Terry. I say Terry because that's what Arlo says. And it's going to do. It's going be funny. So that's the word for the rest of my life will be be Terry. It's a little bit Terry, I'll say. And then they'll be like, that's fine. And I'll, and I'll stay like, it's a Little Bit Terry, but remember it's pretend it's all pretend and that's work. They're never scared of anything on, on the television. So I, I had him watch a, I hadn't

0:22:19 Eli: No.

0:22:43 Tom: I don't give a shit. Oh.

0:22:53 Thomas: Watched Jurassic Park.

0:22:53 Eli: They're luring you they're They're luring you into a false sense of security. They're lure you.

0:22:59 Eli: What they do is kids, kids go, I'm not tired. I'm Not Tired. And then you're like, nice. All right, let's watch Benicio Del Toro's The Wolfman. And they're like I am scarred forever. And you're, like, but you said, you said you weren't scared.

0:23:12 Thomas: Be. Did you mean Guillermo del Toro? I have have to know or did you mean deep Benicia del Toro, okay.

0:23:19 Eli: It's Benicio del Toro is in The Wolf Man. Yeah, he's

0:23:20 Thomas: Sorry, I thought you might have meant because we had him watch Guillermo del Toro's uh, uh, fucking uh, pop, Pinocchio, oh, no, we didn't, yeah, I'm not going so far, I am not doing that no, that's that's too far

0:23:27 Eli: Pinocchio, not Pan's Labyrinth. You would, though. You'd be like yeah, it's a fairy tale, you

0:23:27 Tom: Pan's Labyrinth, yeah, no, yeah, we did a Lars von Treer, uh, night at the house, we just, we thought we'd sit around and

0:23:38 Eli: Know when he caved in that guy's face with the wine bell, I'm gonna say it was a little too Terry, it was little too tearing also

0:23:42 Thomas: Yeah, little too Terry for even for even old data over here, no, I, the Pinocchio though was rough, like, we, they wanted to watch that, I was like, but it's yeah and and the fucking there's like war in the beginning and I literally had to have that conversation because they asked me, me, what's happening, I was like, oh, fuck, okay, well, um, this is, sometimes there are weapons of destruction, mass but then there aren't, no, I don't, oh yeah,

0:23:52 Eli: That guy is not okay, okay so you remember the dinosaurs, how the sort of cold and different universe killed them, well, sometimes we do it to ourselves, like, we all make very conscious and we could all just stop, we could like, we're in control and we have the votes and we are the actual people holding the guns, but we just, we do it anyways, we just kill men, women and children, and I mean, honestly the the rape statistics during war are just off the charts, we actually, we, we stopped tracking them after World War One because it was, um, it was bumming out war itself no

0:24:40 Thomas: And my kids are like, yeah, but it's all pretend, right, I'm like, no actually, that's not, not pretend on this one, that't real,

0:24:41 Tom: No Yeah. No yeah

0:24:43 Eli: No that one's real it's real they're actually planning another one but um, um, Hillary Clinton wasn't very interesting, so.

0:24:49 Thomas: I thought you were gonna say the dinosaurs, I thought, you guys, you know, the dinosaurs yeah, Yeah, they settled into a juice, a juice that is very valuable. And now we kill people for it is what we do. We're actually still really into dinosaurs, buddy. We're still we're still our society can't get over the dinosaurs, but in a different form now. It's a slightly different thing than what you're.

0:25:03 Tom: We can't dinosaurs. Oh, that's a petrochemical

0:25:08 Eli: We really, we all love dinosaurs.

0:25:10 Tom: Asaurus. So, we love that one. Yeah. Yeah, that's great.

0:25:10 Thomas: Yeah.

0:25:10 Eli: Yeah. What am I going to do? Get solar panels? You get solar panels, nerd.

0:25:18 Eli: Anyways, let's watch Penn's Labyrinth, huh? Come on over.

0:25:22 Thomas: Yeah, but no, I was like, all right, here's what's going to happen. I warned him. I was like, they're, they're dinosaurs. Dinosaurs, I'm gonna warn you, this is a terry movie, they're gonna eat some people, but it's all pretend, it's all pretend, do you want to watch it? And they're like, yeah. I was like, are you sure? They're, yeah, I want to wash the scare. I waslike all right, here we go. So I put it on and, went fine, there's not even a punchline to that, they are totally fine. I mean, unless, I'll find out later with the therapy bills, I don't know, like, maybe they're not fine.

0:25:48 Eli: I was going to say, yeah, it's all fine for now, but when Arlo can't come without wearing a T -Rex mask.

0:25:49 Thomas: Yeah, well, that might happen in any way. Honestly, I don't think it'll be, I would worry about Phoebe more. I think Arlo already was not going to be able to come without a T -Rex outfit, but, um, but here's what happened. Um, watched, uh, Park, one of my favorite, but fucking love that movie. It's so good. And then a while later we were reading from the Good Book of Dinosaur, today's fucking selection from the, it's one of the psalm dinosaur psalms from the Good Book of Dinosaur.

He always has us read us. And, and the, the book is awesome because it's structured in different, you know, it's like, here's the fucking plant eating ones, here's the meat eating ones, here is the omnivores, whatever, and it's got these different ways it sorts it. And Arlo remembers and he'll be like, oh, I want to show you where the dinosaurs have lunch. And we're like, what?

And he's like, yeah, he goes to a book that's like, – yeah, it's like it's a part of the book that has a page that's about what the different dinosaurs eat. And it is like he remembered that we probably described it like, yeah, that's what they have for lunch. And he remembers all that and he will, – and it's so funny because he will cite chapter and verse of the Good Book of

0:26:51 Thomas: Dinosaurs.

0:26:51 Tom: I love it.

0:26:52 Thomas: Yeah, it's great. And so one time we were reading from the Good Book of Dinosaurs. We were in the Brachiosaurus, I think, one. And it was, of course, the plant eating one. It says in the book specifically, it says, for some reason, it say Brachiosaurs actually probably couldn't reach on its hind legs and get the tall plants.

And Arlo is like, hold on, I just saw in the movie, and he named the fucking dinosaur, like he was like, I saw in that movie the Brachiosaurus, it got up on its hind legs and it ate the tree, like he remembered exactly that scene, which is probably why the book said that I'm guessing, but he remembered the exact scene in the beginning, you know, when they first see the fucking dinosaurs and saw the big scene, and he remembered it and he was telling me, like, no, it does, I saw it.

And you, you know, kids, they think that's like a documentary, like there's actual archival footage of the dinosaur eating the tree. And so he was like, no, this book is wrong. And I just loved it, because again, in the context of, oh, we think this guy, maybe he's not quite developing his language or whatever, we go from that to, like, smash cut, one minute later, he's citing like dinosaur facts that he saw in a movie that contradict the book.

And so he's calling bullshit on it, like, it's, I don't know, I just thought it was delightful. Like he's really into dinosaurs and he's opened up and learned so much in such a short time, so if there's anybody else who's like, oh, I'm worried about development, you never know, like, I'm not saying, you know, for sure either way, everybody's kids different, but people are, you know, develop at all different speeds, and you might have a kid that just all of a sudden is citing chapter and verse of the Good Book of Dinosaur. Yeah.

0:28:26 Eli: Yeah. And sometimes that doesn't happen. Sometimes that doesn't also just, uh, want to get, want to give everyone a fail. Let's let's, I want to really bring the tone down and away from jokes and just say that sometimes, you know, sometimes everyone just gets more and more scared and you and doctors and therapists just talk less and less because it's for the best that way. Um, and you just sort of resign yourself to sort of what it's going to be and how it's gonna be. And, you know, there's, there's a fear inside you, like a deep and terrible fear, as though, though your child had a terrible illness that you know you couldn't cure, and you wonder what his future will be like and what your future will be like. And you think about how Arthur Miller consigned his son to a mental asylum, and he said it was the greatest regret of his entire life, all of his plays were trying to reach out of the hell that he put himself in. But, you know, Disney Cruise would be fun is

0:28:29 Thomas: Yeah, could also not have it yeah, I, already

0:29:13 Eli: What I'm saying. Because there's fucking, I didn't mention this at the beginning, but there's a TV in your room that plays all Disney movies. So you get to do that. And there's a movie theater, hey, hey, Smiths, there's a movie theatre, there's a 24 hour movie theater that just plays Disney movies in rotation, all day and all night, you telling me the Smith children don't want to just set up fucking camp at the movie theater, you're

0:29:15 Tom: Yeah, that's every TV with Disney. Right.

0:29:24 Thomas: Have that TV, that's my TV oh, fuck, okay, that sounds great, oh, they do, it's just the Smith dad does not want to go on a, a fucking boat, I want to go on a dirty boat with a tiny idiot room, and the, then, like, everybody's probably got diarrhea on the boat because of the food, I don't know I've heard it's that the member the poop cruise, do you remember the poop crews, at the start of the pandemic, I think it was, or no, was that before the pandemic, people got stuck on a cruise ship and it became a poop cruise

0:29:45 Tom: Yeah,

0:29:46 Eli: Gonna love being on a boat, you're gonna love it Thomas that

0:29:52 Tom: Just hang out get norovirus yeah, yeah,

0:30:02 Eli: Was norovirus, different different pandemic.

0:30:03 Tom: Norovavirus, runs rampant through cruise ships every year, man, like just rips through there, no, no, no, cruising,

0:30:05 Thomas: Yeah, I don't want to mess with that,

0:30:07 Eli: Yeah. I think it's going to be a good time.

0:30:14 Eli: I'll lure you all in the different ways, right? Cause I got the true crime podcast that gets Haley on. I got Haley on. That means Tom's going on. I get Tom on. I can just heard the kids on. I'll be like, it's your weekend. They just, they're there, right.

0:30:26 Tom: What?

0:30:27 Eli: Thomas. Now he's going to be trough to take on. I think I could just say to Lydia, would you like to go on a Disney cruise? And she'd be like, sure. And I think if I can get all three of the kids and Lydia on the cruise, right, I think I can trick Thomas on and then we're all on a Disney cruise and there's no, he can't ever stop me.

0:30:39 Thomas: Yeah, you'd have to do a little bit of psyops. You'd have to, like, post somehow, make me see an article that's like a feminist take on why, like, my fucking husband doesn't help with any of the fucking, we, for example, wanted to go on a Disney cruise, my husband was like, no, I hate ships, and so he's a fucking misogynist creep, and I'm like, god, fuck, all right, I'll go on the goddamn I'll

0:30:49 Eli: Right, yes. Going on cruises. Yeah. And then you go on the cruise.

0:31:02 Thomas: Go on the cruise, yeah, it's my pressure point, okay,

0:31:03 Eli: Yeah. You know what I'm going to do? I'll call your mom and next time you talk to her, she'll be like, do you remember when we wanted to go on a Disney cruise and your father wouldn't let us and then bam, you're on the cruise.

0:31:08 Thomas: I love how I gave you the way to win already, and then because you're insane, you picked a way that would never work, because I, when will I ever talk to my mom? You just picked, you might as well say like next time I talked to my dad, it's similar. Like it's, it's a similar, yeah.

0:31:21 Eli: Nope, that's true. Yeah, nope. You found, Just bring, I just bring a Ouija board to the next convention we're both at. Uh, I believe someone would like to talk to you about a certain boatland excursion, Thomas, you'll notice

0:31:37 Thomas: And it's true. You would have to get the ghost of my dad to say how shitty a cruise is. And then I'd be like, oh, okay. Well, anything he did, I will do the opposite of just because I'm not saying that's a hundred hundred percent good advice, but it's, it's in the high nineties. Like anything my dad did or didn't do, you do the opposite of what, of his action. So yeah, no, that would work.

0:31:41 Eli: All right Well, if he didn't like it I

0:31:42 Tom: Well, I'm going so I want to transition real quick because, I, you know, all kids, I did the dinosaur thing. Is like pretty ubiquitous, although did Phoebe get into dinosaurs out of curiosity? She

0:32:04 Thomas: Oh, she loves dinosaurs. Not to the same extent, but she, yeah. I mean, they just fucking love dinosaurs. I don't know which came first, the dinosaur or the egg. Is it that we make them get into it or do they they just fucking, I Yeah, they are.

0:32:06 Tom: Loves yeah, they them but like but just are

0:32:17 Eli: Think the dinosaurs are cool, like why the fuck when I actually think about it, it's crazy that we're not all into dinosaurs. Like when I check in with my emotions about the giant dragons, dragons that had hundreds of varieties, and that I could see the bones of, my brain from upstate New York is like, gay, and I'm like, what do you fucking mean, brain? My brain is just like, look, we've made an official decision. I spoke to the council of your subconscious. Dinosaurs are gay, you're not allowed to like dinosaurs anymore.

0:32:21 Thomas: They are cool. Yeah. Oh man.

0:32:48 Thomas: Well speaking of Phoebe and sorry, Tom, I know you're getting, but like, um, I just remembered since you asked about Phoebe, I think I've maybe told the story, but in case I haven't, uh, when Phoebe had the revelation about dinosaur, God, have you guys gone through this? I have gone through it with both children. This like, it's like a funeral. It's like, I have to tell them. All right.

0:33:07 Thomas: I You're showing them pictures of the thing. They're like, let's go fucking see it. That's got to be real. I'm seeing pictures of it. I'm seen animation of it, and I remember Phoebe had a hard time, but one thing later on, we have our tactics, you know, because you know your kids. You know what works on your kids, and for us, with Phoebe, it was like we had to quickly transition to a different thing, which was, no, Phoebe.

The dinosaurs, they're all gone, but there are still, and scientists find their bones. It's a really cool thing. And she was all into that cause she loves, you know, that kind of stuff. So we're like, yeah, scientists, they've, they have pieced all this together by finding their bones. And then one day just randomly, and I love this too, because with my kids, it's never necessarily in the moment.

It'll be like a week later and they'll just be having a thought and it'll be based on a conversation from a week ago. And so one day she was just like, Hey, can you tell all the, you know, the scientists who find the dinosaur bones, were like, Yeah, well, what the fuck, are you just out of nowhere? Where she's like, can they leave like one so I can still find it?

0:34:05 Thomas: I was like, I

0:34:05 Tom: Don't find them all. Just don't, just don t ruin all, don t find all the fucking Easter eggs, all right, leave

0:34:07 Thomas: Yeah. I and was like, this was one of those moments where I was like, oh, this is a thing I can just lie about. Yeah. I'll talk to them and I'll tell them they're going to leave one in there for you. They'll, leave one full dinosaur skeleton. And she's, like awesome. It was great. It was, so that was kind of my memory of Phoebe with, with dinosaurs, but yeah, not the same amount of obsession but uh definitely they're fucking cool so I'm with you, Eli, there.

0:34:29 Tom: Even though Finn loved dinosaurs, he didn't, I don't remember ever having to like break it to him that they were a thing of the past, they were all dead, but I do remember having to tell him like at one point, like, like, he's like, I'll be a paleontologist, and I was like, you rather have a job someday, you know, like, that's not a thing, that'S NOT A THING, like nobody's a paleontologist, like nobody, you're not gonna grow up to be a paleontologist like it's not gonna happen, buddy, like it'S JUST NOT GONNA HAPPEN, no, it'S NOT a real, like I, yeah, you

0:34:44 Eli: Yikes yeah, two two votes for yikes, he's

0:34:42 Thomas: You go you asshole god damn it, let your kid be a paleontologist paleontologists are jeez man fucking father Over here telling my daughter not only can you be a palaeontologist, I'm gonna speak to the council of paleontologists and tell them specifically to to leave one dinosaur, like, skeleton in the ground with your name on it. Wow. This is, I feel like a real Eli over here. Like, this is, I'm

0:35:16 Tom: Gotta know your kids. Like you get to be a paleontologist. That's a PhD. What I know. And I love the boy. I love him to death, but I know Finn is not a PhD kid. You're not a paleontologist without a PhD. He's not a Ph.D.

0:35:19 Eli: Know

0:35:28 Tom: Kid.

0:35:28 Eli: A lot of PhD people who are dumber than Finn, whatever Film's working with, I promise you, or

0:35:31 Tom: I'm just, I'm just saying, I my boy, I know his, I know his, his constitution, his work ethic, and his, his desire for a lifelong educational experience. He's not a PhD kid. He's a wonderful kid, he got a hundred wonderful, awesome qualities he's he's got a Ph.D. He's not a Ph .D.

0:35:46 Thomas: Maybe you can get a master's in dinosaurs. I don't know. Can you

0:35:49 Tom: Kid he is not you know that's it that's and a PhD.

0:35:49 Thomas: Get it?

0:35:52 Eli: You Could be like An Assistant. University

0:35:53 Tom: Still means you're probably working at the barnes and noble like let's be real like a PhD archaeologist that works for me And I don't run an archaeology company guys She's like

0:35:58 Eli: Library, but it's close.

0:35:59 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say, how many dimes are bones does he bring you every... You should have written that into his contract. Yeah.

0:36:08 Eli: But It Is Pretty cool. It's

0:36:08 Tom: Yeah She's a nice lady She's smart lady She has a PhD from a good school in archaeology And she works for a good company She works for my company in a real estate company So

0:36:19 Eli: But you've got to admit it's pretty cool that every time she goes on vacation she runs into Nazis and She has to fight them for Whatever. Do Dad

0:36:24 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah, maybe you're just the cover job, you know?

0:36:27 Tom: Maybe

0:36:26 Eli: Yeah, When You Close Your Eyes Have You Written Love You On Your Eyelids for her, maybe consider that. Also, don't do that if you're in the workplace. That's my advice, uh,

0:36:28 Tom: Maybe I mean she's got 10 days off a year So who knows what she's getting into

0:36:39 Thomas: That was his student. You can't blame him for that. He's just a babe of a teacher, and his student did that.

0:36:45 Eli: Think he was asking for it. I can Talk about. I

0:36:47 Thomas: You see the way he's dressed with all that leather and whatever it was? Fucking that hat.

0:36:50 Eli: Don't I Don' T like the way Indiana Jones approaches a lot of his professional life. Actually, I've got notes, um, Not the least of which is that he's making another fucking movie At Gunpoint. Harrison Ford, hey, welcome to our parenting podcast, Harrison Forward, if you don't want to make movies, Don't Make movie, If You see Someone Pointing A Camera at you, say no thank you. Obviously

0:37:00 Thomas: Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you don't have to. You don't have to very

0:37:10 Tom: Is he being forced to do it?

0:37:15 Eli: He must be from his performances in the last 27 movies he was in, he was apparently doing it with snipers aimed at his nearest loved, loved ones, just Yelling lines like an Al-Qaeda hostage. No, Thomas, I have amazing news, do you know that Phoebe can find a fossil now? They're All Over the place. Yeah, they're called round rock fossils, you can find them in like riverbeds and lakes and stuff, you could set up tours, you could, there's 100, a fossil tour near you right now for 20 Yes, but there's tons Of plant and

0:37:25 Thomas: Weird.

0:37:34 Thomas: Can she really but you have to do a Disney cruise to get.

0:37:50 Eli: And, no, no Disney cruise required. But they're basically all the, a ton of the round rocks you see near water actually, the reason they're a circle is because, oh my god, the fossil nerds in our audience are frothing with rage right now at how wrong I'm getting this. I'm sorry frothing nerds, but I'm indoctrinating a child into your cult, so forgive me for that. But basically the reason they're round is because they have a fossil inside, so you collect a bunch of the round ones and then you hit them with a hammer on the side and they open up. I don't fucking know, man, and but they, you hit it with a hammer on the site, it opens up perfectly and there's a little fossil leaf in there and you can do that right now.

0:38:03 Thomas: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:38:09 Tom: I

0:38:13 Thomas: Why would that make it round?

0:38:28 Eli: Phoebe can have a

0:38:28 Thomas: Is this another lie that Eli's parents told them they went

0:38:29 Eli: No you can do it it's a real thing. I swear I'm

0:38:32 Tom: Don't even know what's happening

0:38:32 Thomas: And like bought at auction some fossils from an like the Smithsonian and then did I convinced him that he dug them up in a riverbed it's not well.

0:38:33 Tom: Right now.

0:38:38 Eli: In that it's not out of the question. It's None of the question, yeah.

0:38:43 Thomas: What's funny is I thought you were gonna tell me, uh, what just happened for Arla's birthday is somebody bought him a science kit thing that that was exactly this, it was like, oh, and I think I haven't even fucking gotten a chance to look at it because it's been absolute chaos since his birthday.

It just happened recently, um, it think it's a set where it's like, hey parents, you know how you want a toy that takes a lot of work for you, um, you can bury these fossils for your kid to dig up, which I'm told I will do, but on my timeline, and the kids were like, fuck no. And they, the kids from Arlo's birthday, in addition to this fucking like volcano, uh, science thing and this dinosaur thing, they opened those both up and got them fucking all over the living room. And there's just dust and vault, whatever volcano mixture. I hope it's safe. I don't fucking know. I might have a volcano brewing in my house. I I don't know. They got it everywhere. And I haven't even had the chance to clean it up. So I just have these fake fossils. I think they're fake. Just dusty fossils with this fossil dust all over because of this exact thing.

0:39:25 Tom: Ugh.

0:39:45 Tom: Did something that exactly looking for fossils, Thomas, but I did Something with Finn years ago that would be maybe fun for the kids because he fucking loved it. Do you guys know what geocaching is? So geocashing is the fucking

0:39:56 Thomas: I don t.

0:39:54 Eli: Yes oh My God, Thomas, you would love geocaching, in

0:40:01 Tom: Best. It is the fucking best, so geocaching, it's like geocache, there's like a geocache website, so there are hidden all over the world, and I mean, Thomas, all overtheworld in places you never would have expected.

0:40:13 Eli: Your neighborhood, right now.

0:40:14 Tom: Like, there are all these hidden little trinkety -fuck things, right, and there's all kinds of different kinds, and the geocaches will send us emails. A whole hobby, so I'm not going going to get into all the details of the hobby.

0:40:20 Thomas: What? Oh, so you're saying like people, like the devil put the dinosaur fossils in? Are people doing this?

0:40:29 Eli: Yes.

0:40:28 Tom: Yeah. So what people will do is they'll hide all over the place. They'll hide these little caches and then they'll mark those caches with a set of GPS coordinates. And then you can go to the geocache website. And I'm way oversimplifying. You go to the geocache website and you can search for these caches. And you find them. And it's like like a treasure hunt using your GPS and it's a fucking blast it is an absolute blast

0:40:30 Thomas: Oh, okay. Huh. Wow. Oh,

0:40:54 Eli: And They're They're, they're hidden with the in the best version, they're hiding really cleverly, like there's a secret door you have to push open and a light, there's actually one near me that's really cool and the guy who did it, uh, came and asked permission. He was like, "Hey, I'm gonna build a a weird thing near your house. Um, you comfortable with that? I'm a geocache guy." And Tom had already told me about geocaching, so I was like, "That's so fucking cool." And he was like, "Yeah, just like people might be wandering around your yard sometimes looking for it" and Indeed, they have been wandering around my yard sometimes working for it. Well, here, here in Sweet Sweet Bosnick, New Jersey, it's perfectly safe. You might get

0:41:03 Thomas: Wow. Jeez. Geez. Yeah. And in the United States, that's not especially lately, not the safest hobby to have. Yeah. Your

0:41:34 Eli: An attack pug on your heels. Yeah.

0:41:35 Thomas: Your mileage may if you're in a red state. Yeah. Be careful, everybody out there.

0:41:39 Eli: No,

0:41:39 Tom: Time, Thomas, I went camping with the kids and I got these like little containers and I filled them with like little trinkety things and candy and stuff and then I, I snuck off, I went off and I hid them and then I, just on my phone, I just marked the GPS coordinates and then it's just Finn at the time and then I was like, "All right," and I handed him the phone, I showed him how to use it, I knew it'd be easy for him to find, I knew I already knew where it was because I placed it, and then we went off traipsing through the woods and he was able to like have this like archaeological discovery moment where like he, like, went and like dug around and like found this thing and it was this really cool. So that actually might be a really fun way to repurpose those bones and like those fossils and like use them for the kids or bury a body and get them into a really cool hobby. It's

0:42:21 Thomas: Or Or bury a body or lure a kid somewhere. The criminal opportunities here with what you're telling me seem high. But but if Eli's into it, then it must be safe because.

0:42:28 Eli: Mm-hmm. Sure.

0:42:36 Tom: A huge big hobby, man. It's like literally worldwide, there's geocaches in Antarctica.

0:42:38 Thomas: Yeah, yeah.

0:42:38 Eli: Now, sorry, I should be clear. Geocaching involves walking long distances, so I don't do it.

0:42:43 Thomas: Yeah, I'm already out.

0:42:45 Eli: Tom told me about it, and I thought that sounded nice. I'm gonna sit in a chair and make jokes about people's physical appearance until my heart gives out. But don't let the Bosnick tradition dissuade you and the other Smiths.

0:42:44 Tom: There's

0:42:45 Thomas: Fuck that.

0:42:58 Thomas: I have to imagine there's all kinds of, you know, like concerned Christian moms of America who are like, they are hiding drugs for your kids to find in these things. There's got to be. Yeah.

0:43:09 Tom: Always scares in the news where like somebody you know gets all worked up about it, but by and large, it's turned out because it's been going, this has been 20 years that this hobby's existed, so it's not like super new. And it does, it has like a worldwide following. There's... there's geocaches on the tops of mountains. There's gheocaches submerged in popular diving places. I mean, they're literally all over the world. It's a really cool thing.

0:43:28 Thomas: Is it is there like an official you

0:43:31 Eli: Yes, yeah.

0:43:32 Tom: Yeah, there's an official

0:43:32 Thomas: Yeah, like a way that it's not like you know you're you're fucking knockoff uh rapist child rapist geocache like, is there an actual organization, are they sponsoring the show or I

0:43:38 Tom: Website for it. Yeah, I'll send it. There's an oficial website for It's really cool.

0:43:47 Eli: They're actually the auto ads that everyone's not you gotta go to the right spot. If you go to the right location, you actually get the auto ad for geocaching, and then you can start your journey. It's like being a spy.

0:43:48 Thomas: Wish fish

0:43:48 Tom: They're the auto ads. Yeah, so I

0:43:57 Thomas: That sounds

0:44:00 Tom: But I do also want to kind of circle back to the kid obsession thing, we, because we're kind of joking about it before, but it is something that I think about a lot. Like my, my youngest was not into dinosaurs, he was into cars, Hot Wheels cars, and he would go to sleep clutching a handful of Hot Wheels cards, every day for like two years. He would have them like between his fingers, you have to like pry him out of his little hands while he slept, you know. And And like Finn absolutely was like super crazy into dinosaurs. And I've just come to understand that like kids just really get into stuff. And I think that there's a sense, or at least I have a sense, that we are all kind of on the lookout for different signs of neurodivergences. That we've been kind of like trained and tuned up to do this. And I don't think that's a bad thing. So I'm not shitting on that. But I also want

0:44:18 Thomas: Yeah

0:44:25 Eli: Thank.

0:44:56 Tom: To caution people against pathologizing perfectly normal kid behavior, which is getting excited about something, getting a little fixated on a topic, like jazzed about fucking dinosaurs, even if it's for a couple of years. That's a perfectly normal experience, and we should be careful about not using our sort of vigilance in a way that pathologizes our children when it's not necessary. Do you know what I mean? It happens a lot, I see it a lot, it's like, oh, he's really into that, really into dinosaurs, like, uh, you gotta keep an eye out for, you know, somebody on the spectrum. It's like, look, he's not reading the fucking train schedule to London back to me, you know, he's into the fact that like once, once there was fucking dragons everywhere. That's exciting.

0:44:56 Eli: You Tom. Yeah Absolutely.

0:45:41 Tom: There's a difference.

0:45:42 Eli: Yeah, and I also think our kids pick up on when we react negatively to their stuff off, right? When your kids, like, they are into dinosaurs well

0:45:51 Thomas: Like if your kid's like oh, I want to be a paleontologist, and you're like, shut the fuck up, you're never gonna be

0:45:55 Tom: No.

0:45:54 Eli: No that's it, that's a different kind of negativity.

0:45:56 Tom: No. Yeah.

0:45:57 Eli: But I'm saying if your kids if your kid's super into dinosaurs and you're like, oh man, it's a sign, they're like, whoa, weird, react like the vibes suck, and so they might not necessarily learn to like, honestly, I think a lot of the stuff that we look back on as adults and are like, hey, why do I have this hang-ups, why did I genuinely ask myself why I wasn't allowed to like dinosaurs and the word I thought was gay, right, like I think a lot of that is stuff that is handed down to us by culture, and we do need to be careful, um, even when we have the best of intentions, like when we're looking for pathology or something that our kid might struggle with, if that kid doesn't have that pathology, and even if they do, you can turn that into something negative, right, you can turn that thing that makes them different into something scary and bad. All.

0:45:58 Tom: You got to get a job instead. No.

0:46:09 Tom: Yeah. Yeah.

0:46:50 Thomas: Dinosaurs are objectively great, I think that's our position. On the show, yeah.

0:46:53 Tom: Mm-hmm. They are objectively great.

0:46:54 Thomas: Like

0:46:53 Eli: Are great and if you're a dinosaur, you can sign up to support this show and spread your gospel at patreon.com/dearolddads.

0:47:08 Eli: Hey, speaking of geocaching, uh, know, you, you can't even put crumbs in the woods anymore, people think you're trying to lore kids into your house to eat them, I'm telling you, man, it's uh, Hansel culture gone mad, I

0:47:22 Thomas: I was really wondering where the fuck you were going with that one, that's good, wow. Did

0:47:26 Tom: Was. I liked that one.

0:47:31 Clip: Want to meet sexy DILFs in your area? Email the dads at DearOldDads.com or, better yet, send us a message on Patreon. You can follow us on all social media by checking the links in the show notes. And if you need more podcasts in your life, you can find Tom on Cognitive Dissonance, Thomas on Serious Inquiries Only, and Eli on Godawful Movies and all the Puzzle in the Thunderstorm shows. Dear Old Dads is edited and produced by my favorite DILF, Tom Smith, who also wrote and recorded the intro music, which is used with his permission. This podcast is a production of Daddy Issues LLC. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.