DOD44: YOUR Mom Has ADHD! heh

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors — the audio is the record.

0:00:28 Thomas: Patrons, just wanted to do, uh, come in here real quick, and I brought, I brought Tom, Eli, come on, come over here, come On, do The announcement They're

0:00:33 Tom: What? Oh.

0:00:34 Eli: Just Want, I, I wanted us not to talk so that Thomas sounded insane, just Has To Do The Announcement I Swear They're on the line, I promise They're

0:00:37 Thomas: Here Guys Why, what, the, yeah

0:00:38 Tom: That would Have been Better All Right, yeah Damn It I That I love when you do like the sneaky, like, hey, come on over, it's Like we're in three different states spread across The entirety of America I'm

0:00:46 Thomas: Yeah I Mean, in A digital sense, come over to me, come to this one They're On Like citation needed Right Now And I pulled Them, I pulled them over, I pulled him into this Um So just want to let you patrons know, the next two episodes, so this one and the next one, were recorded before perhaps news events that you might have heard about, just giving you the heads up in case it sounds weird. Episode 46 will be the first one that is kind of in current time, I guess you would call it. Just FYI, in case that seems weird when you hear them. One more note, patrons, you're getting an even more of a benefit now because the other show has a bunch of shitty ads that Eli hates.

0:00:52 Eli: Diverse Tom It's True The

0:00:54 Tom: Sorry I'm breaking The Fourth Wall

0:01:22 Thomas: So we Just Let Him yell At the ads for 10 minutes on the normie feed, you might want to go hear that just for fun, that'll be on episode 42 over there In the normal feed These

0:01:22 Tom: It's

0:01:23 Eli: Worst possible Form of advertisement, the Worst Thing Yep Sure Yeah, go ahead, because honestly, and look, I know we always say like, hey, throw us what you can to be a patron, you know, we appreciate the support, so, no, now it's mandatory, because if, if you're not a patron, you're over in the fucking autoplay hell zone. No, I'm just warning them because you'll be like, oh, time to tighten the budget. No, stop taking whatever medications you're taking. Kill someone and rob them. Do whatever you have to do to stay a patron so that an old Navy ad doesn't drop on you from the sky like the bombing of Hiroshima. But worse, worse than the bombing of Hiroshima the

0:01:47 Tom: Mandatory Yeah

0:01:48 Thomas: Are The patron We're Already talking to the Patrons Okay

0:02:02 Tom: I

0:02:12 Thomas: Funny, uh All right, patrons, thank you so much, and on with the, uh, regularly scheduled program here All

0:02:21 Eli: Bombing of Hiroshima

0:02:23 Tom: Think To Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's about to get deep into Thomas' mom. I'm Tom Curry and I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello gentlemen.

0:02:24 Eli: Yeah

0:02:32 Thomas: Oh My God, I've solved it, everybody, you know, we make progress here on the show, actually, it's entirely incidental to the show, never mind, but I, I didn't, I didn't think I would ever learn a new thing about my family, mostly because I don't care, I don't care enough to, they're not interesting to me, it's over, I, my dad is semi-interesting as a, as a specimen, you know, as a, as like a test subject, I would.

0:03:00 Tom: As a thought experiment.

0:03:01 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah, like it gets brain in a vat or something to be interesting. But for the most part, I'm just not interested in my family because they're just not. But I learned some new something new. I really did. And I just I have to tell you, I don't know what fucking episode this will turn into. We could transition to another different topic. I don't care. But OK, so first off, I have TO tell you that, You know, I always reference Kaiser, my insurance. That's like the whole fucking medical industry.

0:03:02 Eli: Yeah, of course. Yeah.

0:03:27 Tom: Oh yeah, uh huh.

0:03:28 Thomas: Yeah, they're great, except when it comes to mental health. And I'm trying to get the ADHD diagnosis through them, because right now what I'm doing is I'm paying several median incomes in order to buy the only Adderall type thing that's not, that is available right now, is the one that doesn't have a generic. Generic.

0:03:51 Eli: M&M minis, yeah.

0:03:53 Thomas: Yep.

0:03:52 Tom: Oh that sucks.

0:03:54 Thomas: And so I'm paying not generic prices and it's worth it because it's really helping me function. But if I can get the diagnosis through Kaiser, then I'll be opened up to, I'll probably be able to get whatever the fuck I want through them because they just, you know, they're a whole industry, but they fucking suck. I started the process. I went through a screening.

0:04:16 Thomas: I talked to, for the screening, is a guy I like. He's a, um, have I mentioned this, I did a depression through Kaiser and they had like this fucking regimented like four week program, and it required me to have two different therapists, one I would talk about certain things and the other I'd talk about other things, and they're like, "Yeah, it gets results." I was like, fucking yeah, whatever, I'll do fine, you know, whatever, I'm trying to fix myself, I'll do it. And one of the, this, this therapist was one of the therapists and I, I've really connected with him. I loved it. I was like, all right, this is, this is nice. It's nice talking to you. And then we get to the end of the session, the end of the four week, whatever it was, eight week, four weeks, six weeks, something like that. And I was like, well, what do, what do I do now? And he's like, "Well, you're cured." No, not really. But it was like the sentiment is you're just either better or you go, find, that's all we have. He's like, "That's, that's it for us." So find

0:04:27 Tom: No.

0:05:07 Thomas: You can find a therapist.

0:05:07 Tom: We're just done helping now?

0:05:09 Thomas: Yeah. He's like, you can find a therapist. I was like, Oh, can, can you be my therapist? He's Like, actually, no, I cannot be your therapist because I was your therapist for this thing. I'm not allowed to be your specialist. I Was Like, Oh my fucking God.

0:05:21 Tom: What?

0:05:21 Thomas: That is so stupid. Yeah.

0:05:22 Tom: That makes the opposite of sense. That's insane.

0:05:23 Thomas: Yep. Yep, fucking stupid. And so he's like yeah, sorry about that. And I was Like, wow, that blows. He was Like you can try to find one and they'll pay. They'll pay for it. If you get to the point, you know, if you go through all their bullshit, they'll they'll Pay for everything thing and they're good, you know? And so, but I just quit. Like they, they're very good at being annoying enough that you're like, all right, fine. I'm here. I actually am fine. It's fine.

You've, you've annoyed me into being cured. Okay. You happy? I'm not depressed because I'm so annoyed about your fucking thing. I's not going to go through the next step. And so that's what can taking that, uh, on board. That's who I'm trying to fucking get an ADHD diagnosis from, which is, you Know, it's already hard enough sometimes. And So I talked to that guy cause Cause he's great.

And he's, you know, I have a connection with him and he's given me a little bit of the inside info. And He's like, look, I wouldn't even maybe try to do this. Cause it's fuck. It sucks. Um, he's like if you can do anything else, try those online thingies. And that's why I did. I got on those online things to get some Adderall and just did that. And

0:06:23 Tom: Wait a minute. I have a question. So now you have a diagnosis. You but it's still a doctor.

0:06:28 Thomas: Yeah. But from a bullshit online. Oh, Hmm.

0:06:31 Tom: And you can't break it down. You can bring that into your history and then...

0:06:33 Thomas: That was the other suggestion that this guy made. He said, all right, here's another way you can hack it is exactly what you're talking about. But he said it has to be like an official psychiatric test, he said. And so I'm like, oh, OK. And so what I did was I Googled fucking, you know, psychiatric ADHD evaluation. And I found somebody and especially, too, because they're really cracking down on the online Adderall because everybody's doing all that.

I found something that was like, And which is good because then I can actually, you know, fill prescription now because they're cracking down on the online stuff. And I was like, all right, I'll do it through them. I go through them and we have a two minute conversation and they're like, All right, yeah, sure. Prescribe you some stuff. I'm like, what? That's that's all we're doing.

And this guy at Kaiser emphasized like it has to be like a real official test that you can send to us. And so I was Like, well, that's not going to work. However, they prescribed me the shit. So I've just been going with them, but I'm paying out of pocket. So all that is to say, I start the Kaiser process because this is really adding up. I'm going to have to start several more dad's podcasts to pay for all this fucking non -generic

0:07:34 Tom: Oof.

0:07:34 Thomas: Medication. Yeah. Anybody know any other dads who want to start a show?

0:07:37 Tom: Man.

0:07:38 Thomas: And so I started that. I was like, all right, I'll just fucking try it. Why not? And I asked that guy and he's like, all right. Um, he gave me a good, one of those hints, you know, where he can't quite say it, but he's like, well, you're not throwing.

0:07:36 Eli: Opening to that's fun in medicine. I've done that. Those are great.

0:07:51 Tom: Yeah, that's great.

0:07:50 Thomas: Yep. Yep, yep. And you know what this one was, was I cannot say I'm depressed at all, or they won't even do it. So Kaiser says, if I have any depressed, apparently not, apparently not because they don't want to do this. Like the last, and you know I kind of don't blame them. Like everybody's getting the diagnosis and there's no medication because everybody's doing Adderall but at the same time I'm like part of that so I don't know how I feel about that but anyway that's kind of their attitude is the last thing they want to do is give someone this diagnosis apparently good

0:07:58 Eli: Yep. Sure.

0:07:58 Tom: What? What, because you can't have depression and ADHD Is that the theory That's Fucking insane though, like I mean like got it all backwards, right? We should just make more of the medicine that people need. Not

0:08:26 Thomas: Yep. Yeah. That's a federally controlled bullshit thing though, they can't, they don't have control over that, it's capped

0:08:34 Tom: Where does, but the federal government caps how much medicine can be manufactured. Well

0:08:35 Thomas: Yep. For for out for controlled substance Yeah. So fucking stupid Stupid.

0:08:39 Eli: Yeah. Because the Vicodin they killed all the people

0:08:41 Tom: Controlled substances are controlled I thought, thought they were just controlled in terms of distribution, I didn't know that manufacturing was controlled What?

0:08:43 Eli: Who were going to die anyways no

0:08:47 Thomas: I didn't either until this. They're tacked. So the Adderall one is apparently like it's one of those things where they're not allowed to increase production year over year by more than a certain percentage. So we're stuck with that. Like we're struck with whatever it was. Yeah, it's fucking stupid.

0:08:58 Tom: All

0:08:48 Eli: Yep. Yeah. They're literally called Sackler laws in medicine because they're based on the fact that the, yeah because the Sackler family basically did the opposite of that with opioids and got 90 percent of this country addicted to fucking opioids and they were like, okay, well, how could we possibly prevent this in the future? And some fucking congressman from Mississippi was, it was like, well, what if we made it illegal to make too much medicine?

0:09:04 Thomas: Really? Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yep.

0:09:23 Thomas: To make good medicine that actually does stuff and

0:09:27 Eli: Severe and horrible those rules are and how unbendable they are, when they were making the COVID vaccine, part of the reason the distribution was so hard is that, like, big, giant vaccine factories couldn't make all the vaccine because they'd be producing too much medication for their state laws?

0:09:44 Thomas: God so Dumb, it's so they, he hints to me like, "Oh, it's a good thing." The first time I did it, he, he mentioned this, he was like, "Well, you kind of have depression. And so they're going to whatever, you know?" And that was when he convinced me, just go get a different evaluation, you... so I left it alone. And then when I called back and finally decided, okay, because I'm paying fucking out the ass for this, I'm gonna try to do this. He gave me the same evaluation again. And mysteriously my depression was like all better. Isn't that weird? It was was like completely just something about getting that evaluation again, I think, just really did it, you know, just was like ah

0:10:13 Tom: That

0:10:12 Eli: Sometimes your depression's all better. Cheers me up. Honestly, when I get evaluated for ADD, there's nothing like it, you

0:10:17 Thomas: Yeah oh I felt so good, everything cured. Realistically, though, the Wellbutrin has very much helped that, so I do feel better lately. It wasn't all bullshit. And but I, but it's the kind of thing where I would have answered a few more questions of like, well, yeah, I still have this on some days. Or what, but I was like, fuck it, I'm just saying, never, I'm cured. Because they're so dumb, it's they don't, they're not interested in actual care.

0:10:38 Tom: Yeah.

0:10:38 Thomas: They're interested, didn't, I have to say the following things. And afterward he's like, "Oh yeah, it's good. Good thing that, uh, it's good you're doing better." Like a knowing, yeah, kind of winking note. And so that was step one. And then he's Like, all right, that was one. Now what's going to happen. This is the best. And I'm sorry that this isn't really Dear Old Dads. I apologize, but maybe it'll apply to, you know, people are getting fucking their kids evaluated. I don't know. This is best. So then he says, and I was like, Oh, are we done? Is that it? And he's like, no, no. That's, this is nothing. That was, that literally fucking 0% of the process.

0:10:46 Tom: Winky face.

0:11:07 Eli: Fool, you haven't even entered the lair of Ragnar yet, standing.

0:11:09 Tom: Oh.

0:11:12 Thomas: Yeah. And so he's like, so here's what's going to happen. Have to go get a do a drug test now. And I had a whole cute thing with my kids because they needed a flu shot. And I thought this test was going to be a shot. So I had this whole thing where I got the kids flu shots. They're really brave. They were really good. And then I told Phoebe, I was like, Hey, you got to help me be brave. Cause I'm going to go get a shot. I just need you to help.

0:11:33 Thomas: It, it works. Cause when you put them in the role, yep. You put them In that role, it really helps them. Like, I'm like, Oh, Phoebe you're gonna have to help Me be brave, okay. And she did great. And then it turned out to be a piss test. I, I just wasn't, of course it's a piss. So I just, wasn't thinking about it. And yeah.

0:11:31 Tom: That's a great idea, dude. That's a great idea.

0:11:49 Eli: Next to you while you pee into a cup. "It's okay, dad."

0:11:51 Tom: You.

0:11:51 Eli: Yeah.

0:11:52 Thomas: Yep. And so I had to get that drug test. And so cleared that, obviously, because I'm not on drugs. And then he's like, "All right." And someday, and this day may never come, you're going to get a fucking message in the Kaiser app of what you need to do next. And it's not only do they want you to fill out another form, they also want report cards from when you were a kid and to have one of your parents fill out the form, form, and I was like, well, that's literally impossible. Fuck all of that they

0:12:21 Tom: You have to wait, a minute, you have to bring a report card from when you were a kid? How old are you right?

0:12:26 Thomas: Said it would be very helpful if I could bring report cards from when I was a kid. I Know I don't have this shit. I told him I was, well, I don't have either of those things. Like, I don't, I doubt my mom would even do it. And I definitely don't have report cards. And even if I did, this is the other thing that sucks, we were an exceptionally gifted family, so failure was not an option. So what I did, and, and, and my, my therapist, the guy I like, to his credit, he kind of helped me put language to this, where I was like, well, yeah, that's, I was telling him like, this is not going to show anything. And he's like, yeah, so it sounds like what you did is you developed a lot of really unhealthy coping mechanisms. I was like, there you go, that's, yes.

0:13:02 Thomas: Thank you. That's exactly what I did every day. I would put myself in enough mental anguish to where I was so fucking mad at myself that I could maybe at the last minute before something was due, make myself do it. That's how I did. And you know what? What? I got fucking A's doing that because we would just, wasn't an option. We weren't allowed to not get A's in school.

And so what the report card will say is fucking that, you know, it'll say I got A's, and that's not going to tell the whole story, you know? And so, but they're, they're like, yeah, it'd be really helpful if you have the report. I'm like, well, I don't have that. And then I, so I, what I did was I just turn in the form.

And of course, here's the other trick they pull, they give you exactly the kind of thing that's impossible for ADD people to do, which is, he said, "All right, you need to do this in 30 days. If you don't turn it in within 30 days, we will close your case. We'll consider you not not having ADD." 100%. And I was like, for real.

And so I did it on day 30, of course, because, and, know, again, this was during the holidays and with Remy, so there's a lot going on. But I fucking wrote down the date. I was, was like, "You got to get done by this day. You got to get done." I barely did it, I just barely remember to do it. So I turned it, what I did was I, in the form, I just was like, "Yeah, I'll just say like, yeah, my parents were fucking assholes.

I didn't believe in this. So that's why I don't have anyone to fill it out, and I don't have report cards because not only do I not have them, they wouldn't have told you anything." And so I send that in the message, and then the guy writes back and he's like, "Hey, you need the collateral form, which is the parent one." He's like, "Yeah, you need this form." I was like, didn't I say

0:13:02 Tom: This

0:14:26 Thomas: I said what? Yeah. And And so just to pause for a moment, this means that Kaiser, if you had like an abusive household, then sorry, you don't have ADHD. You can't have it. He, he told me, I was like, well, can't I just, it said that I could maybe turn it in without that. And he's like, yeah, but it'll most likely be ruled inconclusive. I was Like, what?

0:14:27 Tom: Is insane. I Have to pause and tell, and and just, just, off Kaiser's fucking insane, can you get insurance from anyone else, because, like, I also have a transcription for Adderall, and when I got my prescription for Adderall. I just Googled like a psychiatrist near my work, went on my lunch break, said, hey, you know what? I think I could benefit from AdderALL. I took some in college and it was helpful. He said, okay, well, let's fill out this form. I filled out a form and then I got a prescription for AdderAll. And that is how that works. And I just now have Adderall. The whole Look, the whole process took seven minutes start to finish. And my insurance company doesn't gatekeep that shit. This insurance

0:14:59 Eli: Have A prescription for

0:15:01 Thomas: Mm hmm. Yep. Yep.

0:15:34 Tom: Gatekeeping is, I would seriously change insurance companies because of this.

0:15:34 Thomas: Yep. Yep. It's well, here's the thing. For one, paying another insurance would not be probably it would be more than what I'm paying for this drug, even though it is a lot, because everything else about this insurance is unbelievable. I have, because is still working for the state of California, we have insurance to where when people talk about how bad insurance is in this country, I have to just be like, yeah, it totally is. Not for me. Mine is fucking great. We pay nothing for anything. Everything's covered all the time, except for this. This is the one area that it sucks. So it's worth having. It's for sure. We pay Nothing for ER. We pay None for medicine. We pay none for ambulances.

0:16:07 Tom: Wow. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. All right,

0:16:15 Eli: It's the It's also It's the perfect business strategy, right? You don't give your people mental health care treatment, then they kill themselves and you don't have to cover it. It's perfect. It's the perfect crime. We call

0:16:24 Tom: That's

0:16:27 Thomas: Oh, boy. And I did, I got it in and then they were like, yeah, it'll be inconclusive, which again, this just means that if you, you know, don't have access to, if you're too old or you're like me and your parents gaslit you into thinking this isn't real and none of this is real and it's all pretend, my generation pretending they have problems or whatever, then and you don't realize that when your dad's already dead and your mom fucking who knows if she could even do it, that means I don't get a diagnosis. I'm penalized for that.

And so I was, oh, but weirdly enough, my mom came up for Phoebe's little recital, little dance recital which was really nice of my mom to do. Again, I've said a lot of things about my mom. She was a great mom in a million ways. She's a supportive grandmother when, you know, she's got a lot grandkids now but she came all the way down to Sacramento, you now, long drive for her for an elderly lady and she came and supported, brought brought Phoebe flowers, even though we fucking forgot. So it was great. You know, she's my mom's

0:16:56 Eli: That not being Jewish, Thomas, in case you're wondering. It just ends.

0:17:29 Tom: Nice.

0:17:29 Thomas: Great in a lot of ways. Yeah. It was, it was all great, but she comes over. And the other weird ass thing about my mom is she drove, you know, again, two hours to come over and she'll do this thing every time where she's like, all right, I have to go. And she'll just be like, she'll just leave. Like she used to, she drove all the way down here. I was like, yeah, let's, you know, do lunch, hang and do whatever. She's like, my dogs.

She'll always, always have a reason. I thought when my dad died that because she would always say she had to get home to take care of dad, she'd be like, I gotta help him, you know, he's, I gotta get home to help him. And uh, one really funny thing that my older sister apparently jokes about all the time, but I don't know because I don't really talk to her, is she, my mom used to say, yeah, well, I gotta go get your dad some McDonald's.

And that was her, that was Herb get out of every single thing instantly. I gotta go buy a McDonald's, you know. He needs his McDonald's for the night. Uh,

0:18:13 Eli: God.

0:18:18 Thomas: Fucking funny.

0:18:18 Tom: Jesus Christ. Donald's.

0:18:18 Thomas: Yeah, oh,

0:18:19 Eli: Damn, that's so fucking bleak, so fucking if I had a pet that I described that way, people would be like, oh, you gotta put it down, man, you gotta putting it down. Put that

0:18:22 Tom: Yeah.

0:18:29 Thomas: Boy. Yep. And so I was like, oh, maybe when he dies, then she'll actually like stay for stuff. No, it turns out that was just her. I guess, because she

0:18:31 Eli: Yeah.

0:18:37 Tom: She didn't want to stay either.

0:18:38 Eli: No.

0:18:38 Tom: You know?

0:18:38 Thomas: It's

0:18:38 Eli: She doesn't like you don't

0:18:38 Tom: Yeah.

0:18:39 Thomas: Some weird thing. And I expressed in a recent episode that I do not understand my mom. I don't get what it is, but I suspect maybe it's something that she's been doing for a long time, and I don't know if it's some ADD. Okay, well, I now have a little bit more information because after all that, I was was like, look, mom, can you at least, I have this form, maybe I'll just, you know, read you the questions, you can do it, it's, it's. And she's like, what's it for? I was like, it's for ADD. And And now that my dad's dead, I can at least get her to not pretend stuff doesn't exist, you know, like, because she'll, like, if she had my dad to reinforce her, she'd never, she'd just be like, yeah, that's not real.

0:19:12 Tom: Right.

0:19:12 Thomas: But like, because he doesn't have him to go home to and fucking speak in her mind like Worm Tongue and Lord of the Rings and just convince her nothing's, whatever. Um, I was able to be like, yeah, it's, it's a real thing. It's, I, you know, if you remember this behavior that I had, it's probably because of that. And she actually, you knows, to her credit, she was like, oh, okay, well, you know, she doesn't like that I would take drugs for it. Or, you know, she's all anti-drugs. Don't take too many drugs and whatever. It's like, oh, don't take the stuff that makes it so I can live. Yeah. Fucking boomer.

0:19:39 Tom: Yeah, that's super useful. I'll just, you know,

0:19:42 Eli: Don't solve the problem. Just wait for it to die and then you don't have to buy at McDonald's anymore. Trust me, it works out great.

0:19:44 Tom: Well,

0:19:43 Thomas: Yeah, on the on the topic of weird shit, my mom says for no reason she would do this with stuff where she would just decide something is true. I suffer from headaches a lot or I used to. It's better now. And, you know, I take ibuprofen, the one thing that actually fucking works for anything in my experience, like Tylenol is nothing. Nothing else is anything. Ibuprofin fucking is amazing. And so I I take she saw me taking ibupropan one time She's like, what are you taking that for? I said, oh, yeah, I have a headache. And she's like. Well, you know what will give you a headache is ibuprofen. It's like no. That's just not. You're making that. That's the kind of fact that that mindset thinks should be true. Like the vaccine actually causes COVID. It's, like, if it's counterintuitive and it's annoying, then they love it. They want that to be the truth.

0:20:36 Eli: Yeah. It's, it's the Brick Tamlin school of brick. Do you actually love the lamp? Are you just seeing the lamp? Right, ibuprofen gives you a headache.

0:20:45 Tom: I will say though, if you take ibuprofen all the time and you can get rebound headaches from ibuprofen, that's a real, that is a real thing.

0:20:50 Thomas: Sure. Sure. I've never had, literally never had to happen to me, but yeah, I believe it. I believe that there could be some truth to this that my mom never heard or had any access to because she just says stuff.

0:20:53 Tom: Yeah. Yeah, she just made this up.

0:21:01 Thomas: So anyway, I get her to go along with the form and here's what happens. I have discovered that holy fucking shit, my mom has ADD so bad. I did not understand. So I go, I was like, like, all right, I'm going to read you a question. You, you know, just answer honestly. She can't even, oh my God, she can't go one second of doing what I said. I was like, alright, what do you remember about me as a kid? And she's like, so what is this for? Is this, are they going to want, and I'm like, just fucking just answer the, so are they gonna want me to say that you have the drug? And I was just answer, the fucking, just to answer the question. Just what did you feel? Well, I, you now, of course I can't really say that. And then she'd go into some story from when I was a kid that had nothing to do with anything. Yeah, and if you remember, they're your teacher. No, just fucking please answer. Please, God. And I realized, here's what I realized.

0:21:52 Tom: Yeah.

0:21:52 Thomas: I am so bothered by this behavior that I have just blacked it out. I literally had realized to this day what I have done to cope with my mom is never be in a position where I needed to have a conversation or get information from her. It's mind-blowing. In that moment, I, because I fucking got mad, I was so frustrating to me that I literally lost, I was like, just answer the question, I just read you question one, what, like, I was getting visibly angry, like Lydia was uncomfortable because it was 10 minutes, I read her one question, she never answered it, like she just kept saying a different shit for an hour and like, here's the thing, go

0:22:33 Tom: She Just Thomas, her name, write it out yourself. And just sign Her fucking name, that would have Been my, that's what I would have done first.

0:22:35 Thomas: And So Here's the thing. Yeah.

0:22:41 Tom: I would not be like, oh, well, a questionnaire somebody else has to fill out that won't be done immediately, I guess.

0:22:37 Eli: Oh, Yeah, never in a million years And

0:22:48 Tom: I filled it out, I would thousand percent would have told that Jesus.

0:22:48 Thomas: I it was among the options that I was considering for sure, but but they they have you put in your number. And they're gonna call her, so I was like, all right I'll see, I was still gonna try it.

0:22:58 Tom: Yeah.

0:22:58 Eli: You know You know, the one time she would gain full sentience, as they were like, and we just want to confirm that you finished. Well, no, I didn't, in fact, I remember very, do you remember your cousin Mitchell? He had a tumor, I think. No, no, that was a television show, do you remember the show Airplane?

0:23:03 Tom: Yeah.

0:23:11 Thomas: Yeah. Oh, God. This is very good impression of, yeah.

0:23:22 Tom: There is no threat at all, if, oh, they could call my mom, they'll kill themselves, they, what, it's no problem, like, there's no repercussions.

0:23:27 Thomas: Yeah.

0:23:28 Eli: Your Mom Tom, your mom, very, I'm gonna throw this out there, very different scenario. Hello? Give me one second, I gotta turn down the wood chipper, I'm putting the monkey into it for a bet. If come out mostly liquid, I get a free Four Loco. Give me a second. Are you calling about the swelling in my son's head because he's, he's 40 years old.

0:23:51 Thomas: Do you Oh, Oh,

0:24:02 Tom: Right.

0:24:04 Thomas: Boy, but I, oh my God, let me tell you, I, I just realized, I, that's what I had done on. And here's the thing. Of course, it's often said that the things that bothers most about other people are the things we have, or whatever. And fair, fair. I will say that I am a person who does this in conversation, but I have, okay, I have a friend, I'm doing it right now. I have a friend who is very ADD like me. We play video games together. And what's funny is we get on the same wavelength, which, you know, how fucking Hedy Lamarr invented the fucking cell phone shit?

No, no, you know that she's a genius. She invented the, what it would do is called a piano roll thing. And she would do the radio signals so that the fucking enemies couldn't get our signals. They would have it jump signal at a certain predetermined, whatever. And it's like, that's me with this friend of mine where we go on 14 different conversations at once, but they at least make sense and they're at least related to something. And we follow up on them. Whereas my mom, for reason, she has the ADD part of switching conversations every three seconds, but they're all from, I don't know, a dream you didn't hear about or a

0:24:39 Eli: Sure. Yep.

0:25:13 Thomas: Show you've never seen or so it's hagging or just a made up thing. Just the thing where she just decided, maybe if I say this, it'll be true. Like ibuprofen will give you a headache or whatever it is. And so I die when I talk to her. I can't handle it. I'm like, I can't do this. I just fucking cannot.

0:25:28 Tom: I would give anything to listen to your mom and your dad try to have a conversation when they're alone with your dad, just, just disinterested in having a conversation, but if he's going to have it, bulldozing over it and your mom just aim, just wandering, just off into her own like I just

0:25:41 Thomas: Yep. Just trying anything. She just would, she would just try, oh, maybe if I say this is the thing that he wants me to say, because he would just monologue.

0:25:51 Tom: Picture them both making noises and neither of them conversing, just both having two separate, entirely distinct conversations with no points of interrelation. At all

0:26:01 Thomas: Yep.

0:26:01 Eli: Just roll a trash can full of water against the door and light the house on fire.

0:26:08 Eli: They won't even get around to mentioning the fire before it's too late. Well, Snap, Crackle, and Paw are the... No, they're not, but I remember them. I don't think they're real.

0:26:19 Tom: Do

0:26:14 Thomas: Oh, oh God. Isn't that funny though? I didn't know because I blacked it out. And the one time, so what I've done, what I have coped is by not needing anything ever from my mom and same with my dad for different reasons. Reasons. So that's, talk about the toxic independence. I have just never, I've conducted my life such that I never have to be in this situation. And the one time I was, I was like, oh my fucking God, that's what's going on.

I can't have a conversation with you. That's why I don't talk to you because I can'T handle this. It was unbelievable. I was just, was blown. It was like a religious experience. I Was like, I can't believe this happened. This is fucking fucking incredible. It's amazing. So what I had to do was because it was a PDF that you got to fucking fill out, but you also had to doing it yourself because Kaiser didn't make it a convenient filloutable PDF.

You had to fucking download the thing and enter the text fields yourself. And so that's why I was like, I will just type it for you. But by the end of 20 straight minutes of not having answered a single question, I was I'm just going to email this to you. I'm just going I will email this too.

0:27:18 Tom: You think she'll be able to fill it out if it's in front of her?

0:27:20 Thomas: She did. So I said what I did was I was, you're on a Mac, right? I have both Mac and Windows. I was like, okay, I'll pull up my Mac, I will go through the literal exact process that you will have to go to. I will tell you every step you have to do to fucking boomer this technology. And she, to her credit, like she did it, she, I emailed it, she was like, yeah sure, I'll do it, you know, and and she did. I haven't looked at it. I'm very scared of looking at it. I haven't looked at It.

0:27:44 Eli: We have to look at it right now. Open it up. This

0:27:45 Thomas: Nah, nah,

0:27:45 Tom: This Well, You Gotta Find Out what she wrote.

0:27:47 Thomas: That's nah.

0:27:48 Tom: This Is how

0:27:48 Eli: Is the diaries all over again.

0:27:49 Thomas: Nah. It's a little too personal.

0:27:50 Eli: This is The Diaries

0:27:51 Tom: Are You so incurious About this stuff I would have read That immediately, yeah.

0:27:51 Eli: All Over.

0:27:54 Thomas: Would you have though?

0:27:57 Tom: A Thousand Percent, I would have, yes, yeah.

0:27:58 Thomas: It's here are the two options For what's going to be in there. There'll be some, probably some true stuff, stuff. There's going to be a whole bunch of stuff where she's trying to anticipate what somebody wants her to say, but she does it fucking horribly, and so she'll, she'll have to do something, and I had to tell her, I was like, you don't, you're not the doc, don't be the doctor, just answer the question. Oh God, it was the worst. I'm, yeah, I don't want to look at it.

0:28:20 Thomas: I may turn it in without looking at it because I can't, I just can't Fucking handle it, she, I Can't.

0:28:23 Eli: Thomas! Thomas!

0:28:26 Thomas: Dude, I Don't, oh yeah.

0:28:01 Tom: Yeah. Oh, what? Oh my God.

0:28:27 Eli: Thomas, we have so much unused content for this podcast thanks to you. You

0:28:31 Thomas: We Do I, how, it's so uncomfortable, I don't, I don't want to, yeah, she even told me, she was like, hey, you may need to fix some of the like checkmarky ones where like I asked you, hey, did this, but she's like, you should go fix those because I'm not sure about a lot of them, so I'm gonna have to go fucking look at it. I'm mad that I have to look at it, but She filled It Out To her Credit She All

0:28:55 Tom: Oh

0:28:50 Eli: Could do it live on the air right now. Live on the Air, Thomas. Plenty of time left in the episode.

0:28:56 Thomas: Right Fine Here's, here's what I'm going to do for you, because this episode was a weird fucking thing of me reading my medical experience, I feel like I owe it to you to do this. So I'm going to find the form and I will fucking, I God, for a second, I thought it meant she didn't fill it out.

0:29:09 Eli: Yeah!

0:29:15 Thomas: I opened it up. I was like, oh my God, did she not save the fucking things? Oh

0:29:10 Tom: It's happening. I am

0:29:16 Eli: I mean, that was a possibility that I was widely open to.

0:29:20 Thomas: God. What the question, what concerns, if any, did you notice about their behavior between the ages of 2 and 12? By the way, this was the question that we got stuck on for fucking what felt like four hours.

0:29:32 Eli: Fascinating. Fascinating.

0:29:33 Tom: Fascinated right now. I am on the edge of my actual fucking seat.

0:29:34 Eli: I'm so excited for this I literally, I'm also on the edge of my seat. Yes, you

0:29:39 Tom: I want to send this to my dad to fill out. Like just, I don't even need it. I just want to know, like I'm just going to send my dad random questionnaires now.

0:29:42 Thomas: I would like you to keeps in mind that she also has ADD and so is probably probably barely limited in what effort she's able to put into this, so there's not going to be, you know, like don't, you may be let down by, there's gonna be like one sentence, you know, it's gonna be fucking nothing, so Is he here it is he was always reticent about doing what I would ask him to do like everyday kid things I had a tough time communicating with him it was though he was always in his own world well you know what's cool about that is that is the fucking textbook definition of the add question that they're the answer they're looking for, probably. Holy shit. It. That's pretty cool.

0:30:00 Eli: Very excited

0:30:16 Tom: Yeah. I love that. We're fun. This This is happening live. I've never been so excited.

0:30:22 Thomas: All right. All right.

0:30:22 Eli: This is the best I'm excited, we

0:30:23 Thomas: Let Here's a good one. Please describe any difficulties other than learning problems they had in kindergarten, first and second grade. Getting up in the morning, she says. Yeah, no, that's true.

0:30:33 Eli: Remember data, but would abandon you.

0:30:36 Thomas: That's true, oh, she missed, missed the, this

0:30:37 Tom: Yeah, come to me when you sleep through a fire.

0:30:42 Eli: No.

0:30:43 Thomas: Is interesting. Okay, this is, this is, okay, and keep in mind also, I don't think my mom's at all a reliable narrator in any of this. Like, I think she's stuff, yeah. So, like, I'm, but maybe she, who knows.

0:30:51 Eli: Neither Do I, we're She's literally trying to gaslight an entire podcast audience, it's fascinating, fascinating, yeah.

0:30:58 Thomas: I'm also Here's One, did they Have any problems getting along with other children during elementary school? She checked yes, and it says, "If yes, please give details." She says, "If a kid made fun of him or did something he didn't like, he wouldn't have anything to do with him. He rarely got into trouble, but he would just be solitary and sullen." Yep. No. No, that's... that's me. What's funny is that she doesn't remember the time I got my ass kicked. And it's like the formative memory of my elementary school thing. She has no memory of that, which is funny.

0:31:01 Tom: That Was it in a car wash or outside of a car wash? I don't know how that works.

0:31:33 Thomas: But no,

0:31:33 Eli: Like What Was the, what, where On The bracket, were You do You know

0:31:35 Thomas: It wasn't a regulation car wash fight. It was. Let's see.

0:31:39 Eli: It was A bad Fight, not one of those fun ones, like Tom had, I

0:31:44 Thomas: Oh, here we go. I like this. 20. How would their teachers have described them during middle and high school? Basically very smart, but sometimes a wise guy. He would decide that some of the teachers were asking, asking him in the class to do stupid, useless things, and so he would refuse to do them. I gotta give my mom credit, like, she's nailed it so far, yeah.

0:32:00 Eli: Mean Thomas yeah I was gonna say I

0:32:02 Tom: She's she's gonna get you some fucking Adderall, I'll tell you what, holy

0:32:03 Eli: Uh

0:32:06 Thomas: It almost feels like, yeah, if I didn't know better, I'd be like, you're just trying to do this to get me some, some Adderall, right? Because, man, yeah, this is, uh, but, uh, also goes to show, I actually fucking had horrible, horrible ADHD and didn't know. This was actually interesting. I asked Lydia this question because I had to fill this out. I'm curious what you guys think about you. Question is, how would you describe their mood most of the time? And I was like, God, I generally don't know. The options are cheerful, happy, sad, depressed, anxious, nervous, bland, unfeeling, angry, irritable, or changes all the time. Do you think?

0:32:07 Eli: What do

0:32:08 Tom: Shit.

0:32:39 Eli: We think about your mood, or our own moods?

0:32:40 Thomas: Oh, I was going to to ask you about you, but I don't know if you know me well enough, but sure. No, what do you think about you? It was an interesting question. I was like, boy, I don't know.

0:32:45 Eli: Okay.

0:32:48 Tom: Well, First of all, can I just say, I genuinely, and not being shitty, I understand the distinction between cheerful and happy, that seems like

0:32:55 Thomas: Hmm. It's not a distinction. Oh, sorry. That's one answer. Cheerful slash happy, sad slash depressed. I should have said that. Sorry. Anxious slash nervous.

0:32:57 Tom: Oh, oh, okay. Oh, okay. All right, right, I was like, how do I, well, shit. Well, I'm gonna feel like an asshole because I'm gonna pick cheerful, happy, and I'm not

0:33:04 Thomas: Yeah. Bland slash unfeeling. Yeah, okay. Tom picks cheerful, happy for him. That'S an easy, good choice. What do you think, Eli, for you? Sad, depressed oh

0:33:11 Tom: Yeah,

0:33:15 Eli: Is it and I mean this, this isn't sarcastic, do they mean on the inside or on the outside because because on the outside It's cheerful, happy, no question.

0:33:22 Thomas: Good point, yeah, I don't know. I I genuinely asked Lydia because I wasn't sure, and we both came to the conclusion of changes all the time, probably, but not like in a serious mood swingy way, but just because I either get into something and I'm happy, or I'm not into something, I shut down, you know, like, so we kind of went changes all the time, that was interesting, and sure enough, that's what my mom chose also. Uh Let's see if there's anything else, let's get in here. Yeah. Ah, too bad. She really did as little work as possible because she, I, I am surprised. I'm actually, I'm actually surprised.

0:33:43 Eli: There You go, ibid.

0:33:57 Eli: Ibid.

0:33:59 Thomas: Yeah. There's a question 30, which is, is there, if there's any other information we haven't asked about that might help with making a HD diagnosis, please write in the space below. I am shocked that she didn't go on a four hour screed about stuff that was not related to anything. Like I really wish she would would have, she just left it blank. That fucking sucks. Oh, well.

0:33:59 Eli: Uh,

0:34:01 Tom: Wait, your mom was a teacher, right? I

0:34:20 Thomas: Yes. That's what's blowing my mind.

0:34:21 Eli: Okay.

0:34:21 Tom: Would get, what did she teach, what did she teach? I would give anything to listen to her Spanish, to go to her Spanish class.

0:34:26 Eli: There you know, she's

0:34:24 Thomas: Spanish. She's a, she's a great teacher. I'll tell you. She's a great teacher. No, she, uh, well, she's teaching at my sister's fucking bullshit religious school, but she's not still a Spanish teacher. She retired a while. She was, she's a great teacher. She was a hard ass. Like, she wouldn't, everybody hated her because she had no tolerance for anybody, but she was actually a good teacher. I'll give her that. She was really good in class. She's just can't do, she's fucking, add it's so clear now, she just can't do this stuff, she can give a great lecture, she can talk in Spanish with everybody and do, yeah.

0:34:33 Eli: Still a teacher? Oh, Thank god, right?

0:34:56 Tom: Right, because she's she's interested in it, right?

0:35:01 Thomas: She's

0:35:01 Tom: It's, that's the thing, it's like she's interested, and she's good at it, so she's able to, like, it it fires up the right part of her brain, you know, and like this stuff doesn't

0:35:01 Eli: How

0:35:01 Thomas: Exactly. You

0:35:08 Eli: Is she, when she's had like a key bump, like, is she cool, or what's

0:35:11 Tom: Horse

0:35:12 Thomas: Know what's so funny is a lot of the, not this form, but a lot the form I had to figure out was all that stuff. She's like, uh, the form says, tell, have you done these drugs, and it had all these fucking like street names for the drugs. It It was so fucking funny. It was like cocaine. One of them was horse. What's horse?

0:35:29 Tom: Horse?

0:35:29 Eli: This, heroin, yeah.

0:35:31 Thomas: Is it heroin? Yeah.

0:35:32 Eli: It's heroin, going.

0:35:33 Thomas: Yeah. I was like, who is filling out this form? I was, like, well, I haven't done heroin. Oh, I have done horse, though. I've done horse. Who is filling, like. Who is spilling out this complicated medical form, but only knows.

0:35:39 Tom: Oh, Horse, yeah, horse, yeah, right, and needs the street names? Right, like, I don't, I don't actually know what I take. It's just horse I you know not even sure what it.

0:35:45 Thomas: Yeah. So fucking funny, uh, well that, that was a bit of a disappointment. How would you rate this? That's all there was. There's almost nothing else.

0:35:55 Eli: That was amazing. No, that was amazing because, here's the thing. What that means is that she was perfectly, completely able to answer those questions, right? If it had drawings on like the index corners and she, she draws herself on a motorcycle jumping over a shark on question four. I'd be like, yeah, but your mom has, and I know a lot of moms who have this, selective ADHD.

0:35:56 Tom: Is are you, kidding me we went on a journey of self-discovery together, I feel like I'm holding your hand right now.

0:36:28 Thomas: Hmm.

0:36:29 Eli: Selective ADHD, which means only when your children and the people in your life really need you do the symptoms come over and up.

0:36:38 Tom: Well I what

0:36:38 Thomas: No, my mom's like this all the time. This was a miracle that this happened. It really was. She, she's consistently just fucking out there. You know, yeah.

0:36:45 Eli: Let me just toss this out there as a possibility, just as a possibly. I know a lot of boomer moms who definitely have a mental illness, but their mental illness flails up especially when it means that that mental illness means control and subjugation of their children's attention.

0:36:55 Thomas: Hmm interesting, yeah.

0:37:07 Tom: Take it in a slightly different and less dark direction, like think it's genuinely like wonderful and fascinating that she was able to see you so clearly, like what she described, uh,

0:37:10 Eli: Thank

0:37:17 Thomas: Okay here's I just realized there's some more stuff I could do because remember how she said I needed to fix the check boxes? One, I'm looking at that now, and it's, yeah, it's, it's all off, so, so so here's, my mom doesn't have, she's not devious. She's, she'S she''s a magic eight ball, you KNOW? And it''s just constantly, you could ask it the same question and it''ll give you two different answers within two. She''s Just, it''S weird, man. It''S just weird.

0:37:25 Tom: Huh, Okay, take it back, Eli's thing about subjugation was right. Yeah.

0:37:31 Eli: You. Let

0:37:46 Tom: But I, to Eli's point, I think a lot of times we, we, people that behave in those ways are not perfectly self-conscious of that behavior, like, we, I think we tend to ascribe a, of like, well, they're aware of their behavior and that's why it happens. I think a huge amount of people that engage in exactly the kinds of behaviors that Eli is describing, they are not self-conscious of that behavior. It doesn't change the fact that it occurs because it's psychologically easier for them to do it.

0:38:17 Eli: Me give an example that I think is very apropos. I have a friend whose mom has such bad ADD, and she's never been diagnosed, and he's never gotten it, but there are all sorts of family stories about her wacky mishaps. Oh, the time she left me at the this and the time, she forgot to pick me up from that. Um, and she also, um, she is a, like, uh, taker. What are those? She's a stenographer.

0:38:33 Thomas: Hmm. Oh, stenographer.

0:38:40 Tom: Stenographer?

0:38:40 Eli: She's an stenographer, um. And I, I had suggested, because he was telling me, like oh, we went on this vacation. Mom was late all the time. This, this, this. And, I said, yeah. And. I said what I say a lot of the time which which is I think a lot of older people especially use their mental illness as sort of a way to gain power and traction over their family members. And it sort of justifies their abuse. And he was like, ah, I don't think that's the case. And I was like let me ask you a question. She forgot to pick up all this time. She lost your this. She forget your that. She didn't do this. Did she ever lose her stenography machine? Did she never lose it? Like, you know, that big important thing for a job. And she was like no, I didn't think so. And I was like you know why? And he said why? Why and I was like because she cares about that, not

0:38:41 Tom: Now, I think that's that's a little bit of a misread of what, ad, because ADHD, done a fair amount of reading about this, and I think that is a little bit of a misreading. There.

0:39:31 Thomas: Yeah. That's very uncharitable but there's also a kernel truth in Because no,

0:39:33 Eli: Everybody. I want to be clear, not everybody with ADHD. Yeah.

0:39:35 Thomas: But I want to you, I have that where you can tell when I care about something, when I, when I don't, because I can't get engaged in it. And sometimes it, here's the thing, sometimes I want very much to care about the thing, that's that's when it hurts, because like something, you know, with Lydia or, you know, where I'm like, I really, I want to be present in this moment. I want to, no, it's like something where you're like, I want it be a good partner here. I really genuinely do. But like the fundamental thing is I'm trying to make my brain pay attention to a thing. It does not fucking want to pay attention too. So there's a kernel of truth in that. True that my brain won't pay attention into this thing. It just fucking won't. And it's because I don't care about it, but I really, really want to like, and it's hard because you can't, you can'T communicate that, that that's going in, in inside your head. You can't be like, you don't know how badly I'm trying to make this happen, but I'm failing, you know?

0:39:57 Eli: I to care about Lydia, but I just

0:40:27 Tom: Yeah. And With ADHD too, there's... there's a stimulus competition component to it. Which is a really important piece of it, which is like, for for people that don't have ADHD, that, you know, they have an ability, they have higher executive function, because ADHD is fundamentally an executive function disorder. And so people without it are able to sort of prioritize and do two things at once. And people with ADHD, like if there is a stimulus of higher value in that moment competing for their attention, it's not that they don't care about the second thing. It's that they don't see it. It becomes literally invisible to them in that moment because something of higher stimulative value is taking up that cognitive space, and they, they can't multitask or hold more than one sort of like a priority function in their mind at the same time, which is something I did not understand at all until I did a lot of reading, because all of a sudden my house was invaded by people with ADHD when Haley and her kids moved here.

0:40:36 Thomas: Yeah. Yeah.

0:41:30 Eli: Yeah.

0:41:30 Thomas: Let me tell you this. I want, I want to, I want to convert you guys on my mom to, to actually more on the positive side, because my mom was the, the one, she never would have said she had ADHD. She never didn't believe in it, all that kind of stuff. She was the one who obviously has crippling ADHD. It's why my brother has it really bad. It's why I have a really bad, it's gotta be. My dad was the one who didn't have ADHD.

I was actually asking my mom, we were, I was like, genuinely curious. I was like, what, what do you think of dad? Did, was he somebody who, and, and we both came to the same conclusion that he had the opposite of ADHD. He could focus on stuff extremely hard. He just barely cared about anything but like the things he wanted to care about, and Of the two of them, my dad was the one who let us fucking rot waiting for him to pick us up for fucking ever, and my mom was the one who, she would pick us, not okay, not on time, but within a few minutes of on time, which is what I do too, that's me too, and that means she fucking cared, she really did, she cared about, she, we were thrilled if she was going to be the one to pick up because that meant we wouldn't be fucking rotting out there waiting for somebody to pick us up for fucking ever.

It was the worst. You know how long a half hour is as a kid? A half hour of time after school where you should be able to like play at home. That's eternity for

0:42:10 Tom: Oh,

0:42:48 Thomas: A kid forever.

0:42:47 Tom: That's forever. That's forever a,

0:42:50 Thomas: God damn it. My mom cared. She got all this shit done. She fought against that, the focus problems, and she got all the holiday shit done for us. She did all this stuff. She shopped for us, She, she bought all the presents for Christmas. She did a ton of really great stuff that actually it's like kind of making me emotional right now thinking about it. I never put it in that frame that she had to work even harder to get all of that stuff done. You know, whereas my dad just had no fucking excuse and just didn't give a shit.

0:42:54 Tom: Yeah.

0:43:17 Thomas: You know what I, I, what I've used nuts for different reasons, but like, you know, so there you go. I'm, I'm saying my mom, not too bad.

0:43:24 Eli: Well, running a pass fail class, so, you know, we'll talk at the end of the semester. Right, gentlemen, speaking of mental illness, I was feeling really depressed on Sunday, and I said to myself, I might feel sad today, but yesterday, yesterday was a sadder day.

0:43:27 Thomas: I

0:43:50 Tom: Oh no that

0:43:57 Clip: Want to meet sexy DILFs in your area? Email the dads at DearOldDads.com or, better yet, send us a message on Patreon. You can follow us on all social media by checking the links in the show notes. And if you need more podcasts in your life, you can find Tom on Cognitive Dissonance, Thomas on Serious Inquiries Only, and Eli on Godawful Movies and all the Puzzle in the Thunderstorm shows. Dear Old Dads is edited and produced by my favorite DILF, Tom Smith, who also wrote and recorded the intro music, which is used with his permission. This podcast is a production of Daddy Issues LLC. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.

0:44:36 Thomas: Got to fix these check marks. They're all wrong. This is the funny one. Daydreamed in class a lot, she said. Sometimes that's literally there should be a checkbox that's 100% of the time. I lived I lived in a different world. I did not yeah I did not live in the world. So crazy, ah.

0:44:48 Eli: All never saw class. Fugue, fugue state.

0:44:57 Tom: You have cats, right?

0:44:58 Thomas: Yep, four cats. Ruined this fucking house. I haven't even talked about that. I think what happened was we had the one cat we were letting go outside, and he was thriving. It was great for his life. He lost weight, looked good. And he got in a fight, and then I believe he may have started, because of that, marking the fucking house, and he pissed in a corner, and it went under the baseboard and is now in the wall, and I can't get it out.

0:45:18 Tom: Oh god.

0:45:27 Thomas: I'm so fucking mad.

0:45:26 Tom: Dude, that sucks. Is